Redbad cries ‘A wach!

June 30, 2019 6:37 PM

King Charles comes to a certain land with an army, while King Redbad comes down from Denmark, also with an army; both claim the land belongs to him. A bloody battle is inevitable, unless they find a less violent way to solve the problem. So, they have decided upon a standing contest, ‘an ordeal in which the participants had to stand motionless, with their arms stretched sideways’.
posted by Chrysostom (7 comments total)

The victory seems to have pivoted on one of those ploys that could only have worked if you had a novelist's sort of understanding of your antagonist's psychology.
posted by ardgedee at 7:47 PM on June 30, 2019

It's like the story of the two Kings who both wanted Ulster. They agreed to race there by ship and the first king to lay his hand on Ulster would get it. As the two ships approached the shore, one king cut his own hand off and threw it onto land to win the race. That's why the traditional flag of Ulster has a red hand on it (well according to the story anyway).
posted by w0mbat at 8:10 PM on June 30, 2019 [5 favorites]

Ewwww. Priorities, I guess, but ewwwwww.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:55 PM on June 30, 2019

Lets do a standing contest online!

*stands*
posted by memebake at 6:17 AM on July 1, 2019

> Lets do a standing contest online!

Elton John wins.
posted by ardgedee at 7:21 AM on July 1, 2019 [2 favorites]

one king cut his own hand off and threw it onto land to win the race

I hope that guy was extremely grateful there wasn't a stiff breeze at that moment.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 9:19 AM on July 1, 2019

If you've never tried standing with your arms out sideways, it's surprisingly tough. I mean, see how long you can do it, the chances are it's a lot less time than you thought you'd manage. And it hurts.
posted by Grangousier at 4:24 PM on July 1, 2019