SCP-3008, Object Class: Euclid

September 11, 2019 8:52 AM

Police Foil a 3,000-Person Hide-and-Seek Game at an IKEA
posted by Etrigan (23 comments total)

Bůstəd
posted by chavenet at 8:55 AM on September 11, 2019 [28 favorites]

My brain transposed the comma from the number, and I thought there was a new game called "Police Foil" that was a massive hide-and-seek IKEA contest. I mostly clicked through to figure out why the heck they named it that.
posted by solotoro at 9:00 AM on September 11, 2019 [8 favorites]

Police Foil is blue rather than silver. The problem with it is that it tends to keep any food it touches, which you can't get back no matter how you try.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:05 AM on September 11, 2019 [6 favorites]

To explain the title : A Perfectly Normal, Regular Old IKEA.
posted by dannyboybell at 9:15 AM on September 11, 2019 [14 favorites]

This is just delightful, except for the part where I can imagine either embarrassment or serious bodily injury resulting from things like hiding in furniture storage compartments. Imagine being under the storage bed when someone decides to test the mattress with a nap.
posted by asperity at 9:22 AM on September 11, 2019

“People are stopping everyone who looks like they are here for a game of hide and seek,” someone who said they’d visited the Glasgow IKEA store posted online, The Scotsman reported.

Easier said than done. Most of them are...hiding.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:28 AM on September 11, 2019 [1 favorite]

Later they'll be stopping everyone who looks like they might start clapping with one hand.
posted by Quindar Beep at 10:27 AM on September 11, 2019 [1 favorite]

Couldn't they have just yelled "Olly olly oxen free" every 5 minutes or so?
posted by srboisvert at 10:59 AM on September 11, 2019 [7 favorites]

I briefly thought this was going to be about Control. I've been meaning to make an FPP about Control, but thus far I've been too busy playing it.
posted by tobascodagama at 11:01 AM on September 11, 2019

...but did they ban ghost in the graveyard...
posted by nikaspark at 11:25 AM on September 11, 2019 [2 favorites]

It seems like the IKEA hide-and-seek phenomenon hasn’t hit the U.S.,

Well it has now, Yahoo Finance!
if that’s even your real name
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:32 AM on September 11, 2019

Thank goodness the police are on hand to protect us from this terrible menace.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:31 PM on September 11, 2019

Jesus, what a nightmare for those that work there. They don't get paid enough to deal with shit like this.
posted by NoMich at 12:45 PM on September 11, 2019 [3 favorites]

Love the title, didn't need the hint.
posted by RolandOfEld at 1:17 PM on September 11, 2019

Jesus, what a nightmare for those that work there. They don't get paid enough to deal with shit like this.

They also definitely don't get paid enough to deal with this.

This seems irritating but mostly harmless and mostly reminds me of the Improve Everywhere Best Buy stunt. People having silly fun in a slightly transgressive way at the minor expense of multi billion dollar corporations doesn't get me too upset.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 3:35 PM on September 11, 2019

To explain the title : A Perfectly Normal, Regular Old IKEA.

Holy crap that is one of the creepiest and well-written SCP entries. Make sure you read the journal (the red link at the bottom of the page).
posted by straight at 8:10 PM on September 11, 2019

Make sure you don't read the journal

Fixed that for you. I don't know how you people who read SCP sleep at night. The nightmares must be unbelievable.
posted by ambrosen at 3:07 AM on September 12, 2019

The SCP is one of those where the SCP entry is just like the setting material for the real thing, which is the journal/story. Good stuff.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:53 AM on September 12, 2019

Bloody Disgusting is doing an SCP podcast series, and their 3008 is pretty good.
posted by Etrigan at 6:58 AM on September 12, 2019

I don't know how you people who read SCP sleep at night. The nightmares must be unbelievable.

Uh, yeah. In my enthusiasm I forgot how creepy some of the SCP stuff gets. Just randomly read a couple that are definitely more likely to give me nightmares than the IKEA one. Brrr.
posted by straight at 3:33 PM on September 12, 2019

I think the most successful SCPs are the ones that break the mold, like the Ikea one.
posted by Chrysostom at 4:39 PM on September 12, 2019

Yeah, there are too many SCPs where you can tell the author was thinking, "How can I make a Keter even more unstoppable than SCP-682?" (Though I think they've mostly put the kibosh on those.)

The best one are the ones that are either a genius loci like the IKEA or the stairwell or else just a weird thing, person, or animal that just kind of exists doing weird stuff.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:11 PM on September 12, 2019 [3 favorites]

The stairwell feels maybe slightly dated now, but it is goddamned creepy.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:47 PM on September 12, 2019