No Domain For Old Men
December 12, 2019 2:17 PM Subscribe
How a feud over a website address led to a bloody shootout: "He slammed the door behind him and braced for impact. Moments later, the intruder kicked through the doorway and grabbed Deyo by the neck. 'Where’s your computer?' he demanded."
Meanwhile I am still waiting for the right moment to snatch hairyback.com from the clutches of domain squatters. There will be no guns.
posted by grumpybear69 at 2:28 PM on December 12, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 2:28 PM on December 12, 2019 [6 favorites]
I read this the other day and...they really couldn't think of a different domain name? I feel slightly ableist criticizing the dude because every time I've had an idea I want a workable domain name for, it takes me about 10 minutes. I've done this dozens of times! I have many comatose ideas.
One thing that's becoming clear is that influencer culture is attracting many blinkered people who also want a piece of the easy money on the internet they've heard about (I empathize). You can do it by just being yourself! Not so easy, it turns out, and -- I've been taking care of my mom the last several months and so I've seen the Dr. Phil episodes -- with influencer-wannabe children and SOs being absolutely irrational about it. I fear this is only the beginning.
posted by rhizome at 2:34 PM on December 12, 2019 [5 favorites]
One thing that's becoming clear is that influencer culture is attracting many blinkered people who also want a piece of the easy money on the internet they've heard about (I empathize). You can do it by just being yourself! Not so easy, it turns out, and -- I've been taking care of my mom the last several months and so I've seen the Dr. Phil episodes -- with influencer-wannabe children and SOs being absolutely irrational about it. I fear this is only the beginning.
posted by rhizome at 2:34 PM on December 12, 2019 [5 favorites]
They totally could find another domain, especially since there are more than 1500 top-level domains (!) to pick from.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:38 PM on December 12, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:38 PM on December 12, 2019 [4 favorites]
In July of that summer, Ethan, Chris, and Brandon Miller met Adams at Buffalo Wild Wings in Blairs Ferry, on the northern cusp of Cedar Rapids
I’m local, so this probably only matters to me, but the town of Blairs Ferry doesn’t exist. Blairs Ferry Road, on the other hand, is on the north side of town.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 2:52 PM on December 12, 2019 [10 favorites]
I’m local, so this probably only matters to me, but the town of Blairs Ferry doesn’t exist. Blairs Ferry Road, on the other hand, is on the north side of town.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 2:52 PM on December 12, 2019 [10 favorites]
there are more than 1500 top-level domains (!) to pick from
A lot of them areprofit-milking value-priced tho. The .auto TLD is $2,000/yr!
posted by rhizome at 2:53 PM on December 12, 2019 [4 favorites]
A lot of them are
posted by rhizome at 2:53 PM on December 12, 2019 [4 favorites]
Pro tip: Buy a domain name that relates, however tangentially, to cryptocurrency. Those dummies will happily fork out real money for a domain name.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 5:00 PM on December 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 5:00 PM on December 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
CryptoBiz.fart
Or is it
CryptoFart.biz?
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:37 PM on December 12, 2019 [7 favorites]
Or is it
CryptoFart.biz?
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:37 PM on December 12, 2019 [7 favorites]
So, if you own, say, the next Pope's domain name, don't sell, will the halberds and pantaloons spring forth from the cloud?
posted by clavdivs at 5:43 PM on December 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 5:43 PM on December 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
It was FartBiz.crypto, and it’s now all miiiiiiiine, you fools!
posted by mosk at 6:01 PM on December 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by mosk at 6:01 PM on December 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
Been waiting for dobbs.com to expire for almost 20 years but every year the Fake Dobbs renews it. Never thought of getting medieval on him... until now.
I also keep waiting for Lou Dobbs to come calling with his credit card for my Twitter handle but it never happens.
posted by dobbs at 6:49 PM on December 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
I also keep waiting for Lou Dobbs to come calling with his credit card for my Twitter handle but it never happens.
posted by dobbs at 6:49 PM on December 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
Wow, there was never any chance their plan would work. Adams was smart about the security cameras, but was just totally clueless about everything else. What he should have done is to stage a home invasion burglary and kill both Deyo brothers and steal their TV and computers and shit. Then use a domain sniping service to grab doitforstate.com when it expires. Anyone who's dealt with domain squatters knows this.
posted by ryanrs at 11:45 PM on December 12, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by ryanrs at 11:45 PM on December 12, 2019 [4 favorites]
That's not the way it happened in Swordfish, and that's where I learned how to crime the internet.
posted by rhizome at 11:49 PM on December 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by rhizome at 11:49 PM on December 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
"Meet me at Buffalo Wild Wings" is often the start of sticky situations like this.
posted by srboisvert at 4:25 AM on December 13, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 4:25 AM on December 13, 2019 [2 favorites]
This is the kind of story that Robert Stack lived and died to tell.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 1:26 PM on December 13, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 1:26 PM on December 13, 2019 [1 favorite]
I'll continue to frequent clownpenis.fart
posted by wrnealis at 3:11 PM on December 13, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by wrnealis at 3:11 PM on December 13, 2019 [1 favorite]
So, if you own, say, the next Pope's domain name, don't sell, will the halberds and pantaloons spring forth from the cloud?
No, the new pope registers a domain first, then changes his actual name to match the domain. This is why pope names all look like aol addresses: the good names are already taken, so they have to pick names like benedict16 or johnpaul420.
posted by ryanrs at 8:20 PM on December 13, 2019 [3 favorites]
No, the new pope registers a domain first, then changes his actual name to match the domain. This is why pope names all look like aol addresses: the good names are already taken, so they have to pick names like benedict16 or johnpaul420.
posted by ryanrs at 8:20 PM on December 13, 2019 [3 favorites]
Blessed be, may the reign of Pope DabNinja666 be benevolent.
posted by glonous keming at 8:52 PM on December 13, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by glonous keming at 8:52 PM on December 13, 2019 [1 favorite]
Then use a domain sniping service to grab doitforstate.com when it expires. Anyone who's dealt with domain squatters knows this.
Somehow, I don't think a person who decides that he needs a domain so much and so immediately that he forces a gunpoint re-registration, would have the patience to wait for the possible multi-year subscription to expire.
posted by ymgve at 5:36 PM on December 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
Somehow, I don't think a person who decides that he needs a domain so much and so immediately that he forces a gunpoint re-registration, would have the patience to wait for the possible multi-year subscription to expire.
posted by ymgve at 5:36 PM on December 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
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just don't even...
"People", still not a fan.
posted by twidget at 2:24 PM on December 12, 2019 [10 favorites]