Miss Cellaneous

October 18, 2020 3:02 AM

24 Strange Beauty Queens and Pageants from the Past Beauty pageants are another way of worshipping beauty at the altar of the ramp. However, there are certain pageants that puts a spin on the more conventional varieties. Check out these 24 most bizarre beauty pageant queens of all time.

Miss Idaho Potato: “I thought you said I’d be naked in a tub of SUDS!”

posted by The Underpants Monster (34 comments total)

wait, why is the orange queen weird? chevron sponsors the orange festival every year, y'all.

all of the food related photos seem like traditional patriarchal manifestations of Ceres / mother earth

The Potato Queen photo is Iconic, y'all. what, one third of all people are here because of potatoes? that's a thing.

louisiana's catfish queens' coronations have slowed since the industry is dying in favor of the world bank funded farms

and today's catfish queen is a youtube noodling star


anyway, this does not seem in anyway strange, except that we know a lot less about our food than we did 60 years ago.
posted by eustatic at 3:51 AM on October 18, 2020 [4 favorites]

You called?
posted by Miss Cellania at 4:11 AM on October 18, 2020 [28 favorites]

History by Zim has a whole series on beauty contests that gives a little more information on these photos. The posture contests are pretty disturbing in that chiropractors were exposing young women to high doses of X-rays as part of a PR effort. Despite what the chiropractor in that article says, hazards associated with X-rays were well-known by the 1950s
posted by TedW at 4:56 AM on October 18, 2020 [4 favorites]

There was a great documentary about the Miss Outdoors pageant called Muskrat Lovely in 2005. In the film, one contestant skinned a muskrat in makeup and jewels for the talent portion. (Spoiler alert: She won.) Not for the squeamish, obviously.
posted by pangolin party at 5:20 AM on October 18, 2020 [1 favorite]

But most of the linked photos are of models, working for various companies and organizations, not of amateurs competing for a scholarship or title.
posted by Ideefixe at 5:47 AM on October 18, 2020 [1 favorite]

When I went to the transit museum in New York a few years ago I got weirdly fascinated by Miss Subways; not exactly a pageant but, as said above, I'm betting some of these probably weren't either.
posted by JanetLand at 6:11 AM on October 18, 2020 [2 favorites]

Louisiana has a ton of these still going strong. My favorite is the Shrimp and Petroleum festival which crowns new royalty each year.
posted by garbhoch at 6:35 AM on October 18, 2020

"Miss Idaho Potato" is the best potential username I've come across in years.
posted by Paul Slade at 6:48 AM on October 18, 2020 [3 favorites]

I had a co-worker from a very small town in Iowa. She was voted Pork Queen one year. Typical pageant stuff plus demonstrating knowledge about raising pigs. She grew up on a pig farm.
posted by njohnson23 at 6:49 AM on October 18, 2020 [3 favorites]

This raises more questions than it answers.
posted by adamrice at 7:08 AM on October 18, 2020 [1 favorite]

hippybear, those photos from Mexico are amazing!

Yeah, I’m not sure “strange” is the word I would have chosen if I was writing the article, but I’m not sure exactly what I’d have used. Niche? It’s not so much the titles or events that are noteworthy as it is the pictures themselves.

Growing up in rural New York State, I had a few friends who were Dairy Princesses. One of them taught me the parade wave, “like you’re spreading butter in the air with your hand.”
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:26 AM on October 18, 2020 [1 favorite]

"She wore lemoonnn."
posted by juniper at 7:56 AM on October 18, 2020 [1 favorite]

I was poised to mock, but Miss Orange Queen and Miss Idaho Potato just look so sweet. They look like real people. Intellectually, I understand that all the people in history were real, but sometimes, like now, you see them and wonder about their lives, their hopes, and their dreams. I will eat an orange today and think of Miss Orange Queen.
posted by SPrintF at 8:09 AM on October 18, 2020 [7 favorites]

That is not a catfish.
posted by donpardo at 8:38 AM on October 18, 2020 [1 favorite]

I wonder how many unnecessary full body X-rays those posture women had while practicing! Maybe dozens to get just the right shot.
posted by fritley at 8:42 AM on October 18, 2020 [1 favorite]

The Most Beautiful Ape contest has Gary Owens (from Laugh In, Roger Ramjet, Space Ghost) combined with Battle for the Planet of the Apes - the first movie I ever saw in a theatre without my parents. Heady days.
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:01 AM on October 18, 2020 [3 favorites]

My vote goes to the Miss Lovely Eyes Contest. Florida, you're the best.
posted by kozad at 9:08 AM on October 18, 2020

The Miss Mexico contestants...wow, all are gorgeous (as you'd expect) but the costumes are fantasic...the first is especially amazing.
posted by maxwelton at 9:08 AM on October 18, 2020

Miss Lovely Eyes contest looks like a serial killer pageant. I mean, I guess they deserve a chance to feel pretty too but...
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:13 AM on October 18, 2020 [4 favorites]

I don't think "Miss Lemon" is a real lemon.
posted by aubilenon at 9:31 AM on October 18, 2020 [3 favorites]

What, no Princess Kay of the Milky Way? If you win, you get your head carved in butter. And you even get to keep the butter afterwards!
posted by Gray Duck at 9:34 AM on October 18, 2020 [7 favorites]

2020 Miss Mexico Contestants Compete In Traditional Outfits And They Are Amazing

The contestants get to keep the costumes, a much better deal for some than others.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:58 AM on October 18, 2020

Miss Sausage Queen is truly making the best of a terrible photo op. She was hoping to bring a little glamour to her life but remains bravely smiling, looking toward a brighter future where she is not draped in encased meats.

You just know that photographer called her “sweetheart.”
posted by corey flood at 10:08 AM on October 18, 2020 [3 favorites]

Corn Girl has very always been my fave of this genre.
posted by jessamyn at 12:01 PM on October 18, 2020 [4 favorites]

Love the original post but hippybear those Miss Mexico photos are fierce.
posted by hilaryjade at 3:55 PM on October 18, 2020 [2 favorites]

As a resident of Eugene, Oregon I am bound by legal and perhaps mystical means to mention our Slug Queen.
posted by johnabbe at 10:51 PM on October 18, 2020 [3 favorites]

There is no way that miss idaho potato in the picture is from 1935.
posted by Literaryhero at 4:43 AM on October 19, 2020

And some googling seems to support my suspicions, but there is no definitive answer so I am going to move on with my life.
posted by Literaryhero at 4:57 AM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

Now I have a new image that will pop into my mind whenever I watch an episode of "Poirot" and he says "Miss Lemon".
posted by Philofacts at 6:31 AM on October 19, 2020

Here's a self-link for Miss Tall USA, Carol Dettmann, from Milwaukee Wisconsin, who was the mascot for the tallest freestanding structure in the world.
posted by AzraelBrown at 6:36 AM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

Miss Lovely Eyes contest looks like a serial killer pageant

For real. Like, the first ten pictures of mildly odd pageantry really did nothing to prepare me for this nightmare vision.
posted by moss at 8:14 AM on October 19, 2020

Miss Atomic Bomb is memorialized in the Atomic Testing Museum, off of the Strip in Las Vegas.

It would be wonderful if people walked the Strip in that costume, handing out discounts to the Museum.
posted by the Real Dan at 9:10 AM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

Maybe you didn't know that Oprah was once Miss Fire Prevention.
Her audition.
posted by ikahime at 10:05 AM on October 19, 2020 [1 favorite]

Corn Girl has very always been my fave of this genre.

Can't help thinking that's the pissed-off expression all the models would wearing if they weren't so determined to be good sports.
posted by Paul Slade at 7:35 AM on October 20, 2020 [3 favorites]