Pumpkin spice bologna sounded like a stupid idea to everyone but me

December 6, 2020 6:23 PM

Oscar Mayer may not actually make Pumpkin Spice Bologna, but Jim, who runs the website Sandwich Tribunal, decided to give it a serious try.
posted by Maaik (40 comments total)

If you pass on pumpkin spice bologna, how about dabeli Instead?
posted by zamboni at 6:46 PM on December 6, 2020 [4 favorites]

You gotta love the post linked in the Snopes entry: "This is a real thing people!" Oh really? Should I ask your mother if I don't believe you?
posted by STFUDonnie at 6:57 PM on December 6, 2020

They were so involved in whether they could, they never stopped to ask if they should.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 6:57 PM on December 6, 2020 [9 favorites]

I DON'T LIKE SPAM PUMPKIN SPICE BOLOGNA
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:08 PM on December 6, 2020 [1 favorite]

I was ready to be horrified by this but a dude who actually grinds up his spices and makes his own bologna to test a culinary theory deserves our respect.

As far as I can tell from some casual research the canonical “seasonings added to a sweet pumpkin in order to make a good pie” Pumpkin Spice recipe is on the order of 4 parts cinnamon, 1 part nutmeg, 1 part ginger, 1 part cloves and 1 parts allspice, all well-ground, and having seen this guy work, I have to conclude that it is actually pairing that blend with sweet drinks and desserts that is where the true horrors of pumpkin spice lie, and not in the melange itself.
posted by mhoye at 7:10 PM on December 6, 2020 [12 favorites]

I am not a fan of bologna but that actually looked pretty good. Also glad to be introduced to the Sandwich Tribunal Blog, which feels like a throwback to “a more civilized time” of the internet when actual blogs were still a thing.
posted by Doleful Creature at 7:16 PM on December 6, 2020 [13 favorites]

That is everything I could want from a sandwich video. Also I really want to eat both of those sandwiches.
posted by R343L at 7:25 PM on December 6, 2020 [1 favorite]

I'm a vegetarian because I think meat is gross, but I enjoyed this video a lot. Perhaps even more than R343L, because I don't want to eat either of those sandwiches. All of the enjoyment, none of the FOMO.
posted by aubilenon at 7:42 PM on December 6, 2020 [5 favorites]

I don't eat much meat actually. We don't keep any kind of bologna or mortadella at home and when ordering a sandwich somewhere, it's almost always going to be a vegetarian one. But he was just so enthusiastic and thoughtful about the idea and implementation. I'll probably never have either of these creations, but I would be very tempted if I saw them on a menu.
posted by R343L at 7:49 PM on December 6, 2020 [3 favorites]

"If you think I suck, maybe keep that to yourself."

I like him.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:42 PM on December 6, 2020 [3 favorites]

I'm so impressed that he actually made a sincere effort to make these taste as good as possible. I'm on the record as pro-pumpkin spice - or maybe it would be more accurate to say I'm strongly anti-anti-pumpkin spice. I just don't understand why some people get so very invested in hating it. I'm glad this guy didn't take that approach. Lots of people would take this concept and use it merely as a jumping-off point for a goof, but by the end of the episode I was actively craving those sandwiches.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:19 PM on December 6, 2020 [2 favorites]

I like this guy. He's got the energy of a lost McElroy brother.

And I would absolutely eat both of those sandwiches.
posted by Reyturner at 9:27 PM on December 6, 2020 [2 favorites]

This was far more engaging than I expected. (Videos about food are not usually high on my personal media list.) Thanks!

Meat pie and empanada makers should really be advertising pumpkin spice pie. They wouldn't need to change the recipes.
posted by eotvos at 10:24 PM on December 6, 2020 [1 favorite]

That was thorough.


A couple of minutes with Pleyn Delit got me a recipe for loin of boar seasoned with ginger, cinnamon, clove, grains [of Paradise?], long pepper, and nutmeg; and a recipe for pork tarts that grinds the meat and seasons it with nutmeg, ginger, cardamom, pepper, and saffron. Both 14th c, French and English respectively, looks like.
posted by clew at 11:14 PM on December 6, 2020 [6 favorites]

English cooking c. 1300: you will need three sorts of pepper and at least four spices beginning with "c".

English cooking c.1900: who taught you to brown meat before stewing it? That's a very advanced technique!
posted by Joe in Australia at 11:47 PM on December 6, 2020 [15 favorites]

Not a huge fan of either pumpkin-spice everything or bologna/mortaldella, but this concoction looks pretty good. His explainer is excellent too, as these flavor profiles are prominent in so many international savory dishes that it's a shame to limit them to desserts.
posted by St. Oops at 12:50 AM on December 7, 2020 [4 favorites]

SPOILER
"Beef bung is not actually the cow's asshole like I thought it was. It's the cows appendix!"
posted by uncleozzy at 5:50 AM on December 7, 2020 [2 favorites]

Yes, these spices are classic meat spices (as well as everything else spices). I personally would go heavier on the clove and nutmeg and lighter on cinnamon, but that's because cinnamon is less interesting to me than those two.

Tourtière is also made with cinnamon and cloves, as well as black pepper, onions, etc. Another link describes these spices as "sweet", which is ridiculous (and a food writer should know better). Spices are not sweet or salty (unless you're buying them premixed with sugar which is just WRONG).

Years ago, I worked out that cinnamon was a nice addition to baked potatoes with cheddar cheese, along with salt and butter. It's hard to describe but the aromatic and slightly bitter flavour goes very well with the richness of the cheese and butter.
posted by jb at 7:32 AM on December 7, 2020 [5 favorites]

Despite not being from the Midwest I’m a huge fan of Cincinnati chili, which has a lot of cinnamon in it. It’s great! Like the offspring of Protestant potluck food and Indian food.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:01 AM on December 7, 2020

Spices are not sweet or salty

I dunno, I have always found cinnamon (true cinnamon, not cassia) to have a degree of sweetness, and a sip of my cinnamon snaps (vodka that I soaked cinnamon sticks in for a week or two) confirms that this is the case. It isn't sugary sweet, but there is a definite sweetness.

I probably wouldn't go for pumpkin spice bologna (mostly because I find bologna weird) but that sort of spice mix with meat doesn't strike me as unusual or whatever. Plenty of eg curries that include many or all of them.
posted by Dysk at 8:11 AM on December 7, 2020

This is MeFi’s Own JimTheBeerGuy. Also someone I knew back in Chicago, and he’s as great as you think he is.
posted by JimInLoganSquare at 8:22 AM on December 7, 2020 [4 favorites]

Oh cool, I was somehow not aware Jim was on here. What’s up Jim!
posted by Maaik at 8:27 AM on December 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

I wonder how this would work in burger form?
showbiz_liz: I spent my high school and college years in Cincinnati and absolutely *love* their chili. Maybe I'll make a pot tonight. As I understand the history, it was created by Greek immigrants and is essentially moussaka sauce crossed with chili spices, and I believe another person did this somewhere up in the PNW for another Greek-influenced regional chili style. If you haven't had it, It has a flavor profile like many other things in this thread--cumin, cinnamon, clove, allspice, chile, garlic, black pepper. Yum. A few years ago I happily realized that it could be called pumpkin spice chili, but haven't yet been back to bother my Cincinnati friends with this notion.
posted by indexy at 8:47 AM on December 7, 2020 [3 favorites]

Thanks everybody, it's really refreshing to see so many nice comments. I appreciate the positivity here. Also @jb has me wanting to try and make a Tourtière now. Maybe I can make it with leftover pumpkin spice bologna and/or mortadella.
posted by JimTheBeerGuy at 9:03 AM on December 7, 2020 [23 favorites]

Jim, this video was fantastic (and I think bologna is kind of gross!). You ask at the end of the video to let you know if you want more content like this. That's a big YES from me.
posted by jonathanhughes at 9:07 AM on December 7, 2020 [4 favorites]

If you're curious to try something like this but don't have a meat grinder and/or the patience to make your own charcuterie: I had some supermarket pastrami in the fridge so I made up some sandwich spread with mayo, a bit of good mustard, then added cinnamon, clove, allspice, coriander, and cardamom. Nutmeg and ginger would work as well, but I was hungry and didn't feel like digging out my jar of nutmegs and a grinder. Spread onto dark rye, topped with pastrami and a bit of pizza cheese I had on hand then microwaved to bring out the spices. It was delicious! Those spices really worked with the smoky black pepper notes in the pastrami. Thank you, JimTheBeerGuy and Maaik, for introducing me to this idea. I'll absolutely be making up some of this spread to keep around for future sandwiching.
On preview: I shouldn't be surprised, I guess, that it's so tasty, as these are some of the same spices I use in ham glaze.
posted by indexy at 10:04 AM on December 7, 2020 [3 favorites]

> I wonder how this would work in burger form?

I've had kibbeh that tasted strongly of cinnamon and allspice, so I suspect it would work very well.
posted by ardgedee at 10:24 AM on December 7, 2020 [3 favorites]

N'thing the bit about spices not being intrinsically sweet. My mother's fried chicken recipe includes garam masala and ginger, and it isn't sweet but it is spectacular.
posted by Joe in Australia at 1:22 PM on December 7, 2020

If you're curious to try something like this but don't have a meat grinder and/or the patience to make your own charcuterie

Not all charcuterie requires fancy tools and patience. I recommend Michael Rulhman and Brian Polcyn book Charcuterie. I've been making sausage for over 10 years because of that book. Just learning how to brine changed how I cook chicken and pork forever.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 1:33 PM on December 7, 2020 [2 favorites]

The Danish version of black pudding has all the Thanksgiving spices. It's not at all bad, I don't seek it, but I absolutely eat it when it's on the table. It is served with applesauce and sprinkled with sugar mixed with cinnamon (a mix we use a lot for many different dishes, sweet and savory).
posted by mumimor at 3:50 PM on December 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

Spices are not sweet or salty

So-called "sweet" spices (épices douces in French) are spices that can enhance the sweetness of dish (though not always) without the addition of sugar. They aren't really sweet in the sense of having sugar in them. Its just an older term for them and usually means the various spices that make up gingerbread / Pumpkin Pie spice / mixed spice / quatre épices.

Maybe I can make it with leftover pumpkin spice bologna and/or mortadella.

JimTheBeerGuy - You're not far off really with that mix but it'd be more strongly flavoured than some tourtière (the quantity of cinnamon is a bit too high, clove is way too low and ginger is would be a bit of outlier in there). Main thing missing for me would be summer savoury which is a common herb for French Canadians. My tourtière is fairly strongly flavoured but it is a matter of some debate and personal preference. My great grandmother had spiced it with maybe some white pepper and cloves but that was about it. Tourtières benefit from mixed meat - a fatty pork, veal and half as much of a cut of flavourful beef. Game meats are very good in it. I think the meats also benefit from a braise (I've used stock, stout, water, white wine...) and bind with potatoes (mashed, instant even), bread (crackers, breadcrumbs or maybe a panade of bread and milk), oatmeal or whatever. Let it cool before you put it into a savoury pie case (ideally a lard based pastry but any works as long as it isn't a sweet pastry).
posted by Ashwagandha at 5:26 PM on December 7, 2020 [3 favorites]

I spent about an hour tonight reading through the blog. It's really great. Thorough but readable, friendly conversational tone, engaging image and video selection. Clearly very much a labour of love. I have been a real sammich fanatic in my past, in love with banh mi and italian beef and florentine foccacia and the rest, but about a year ago we went veggie at our house. This was really pretty easy for me (I am somewhat incidentally along for the ride in a decision my daughters made who then coopted my wife) but I knew right away I would miss sandwiches.

In particular where we live there's a real german and eastern european tradition, so lots of local cold cuts and different eurostyle breads and condiments. And now there's a cheesesteak place, and a million variations on shawarma, and persian kebab, and and and. So when I cheat, it's usually with a sammich.

And so to my delight, in and amongst all the other great stuff this blog seems to serve up, I find just in the first few pages paneer sammiches and chutney sammiches and indian potato sammiches...and I feel restored. Because I still have a lot of options beyond egg, cheese and hummous. Thank you jimthebeerguy for your important work.
posted by hearthpig at 6:59 PM on December 7, 2020 [6 favorites]

hearthpig, have you tried making a sandwich with grilled/fried eggplant? It works well in a number of variations and with many kinds of relish, but for starters: bread, mayo, some crunchy lettuce, eggplant, hot sauce or pickles, tomato slices, salt, mozzarella, mayo, bread. Try it if you haven't. It's also very good with bahn mi style fixins, and with just plain eggplant, mayo and kimchi.
posted by mumimor at 11:55 PM on December 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

I just don't understand why some people get so very invested in hating [pumpkin spice].

Well, some people hate food fads that are driven by big corporations' marketing departments, some people think that disliking things that millions of people like makes them cool and edgy ('the anti-marketing market, that's a good one'), some people enjoy thinking they're better than the (often white female) people they see as the target audience for this kind of stuff (see also 'basic'). And some, probably smaller number of people just doesn't like the flavor. Also, and I blame this on the internet because I don't know what else to blame it on, everything's a fandom.
posted by box at 6:12 AM on December 8, 2020 [2 favorites]

I don't hate it per se. However I'm in the "personally don't happen to like the flavor" camp, and also the "it's been so massively overhyped that it's spawned multiple memes and I'm just flat out tired of hearing about it" camp.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:14 AM on December 8, 2020

@Greg_Ace I guess part of the reason I did it was because I was tired of the backlash against it, which is way more annoying than the seasonal products are. What do I care if someone has a pumpkin spice latte or scented candle? If it brings them joy, then good! Joy is in scarce supply.

The other part of the reason I did it was because I thought it would be fun and funny and people might enjoy it.
posted by JimTheBeerGuy at 10:30 AM on December 8, 2020 [8 favorites]

A bit more on the historical tip -- a short pair of recipes for versions of poudre douce and poudre fort, links to SCA cookbooks, helpful comment section.

And now I've come across a couple references to poudre lombard as another standard, but no description.
posted by clew at 12:00 PM on December 8, 2020

Also, and I blame this on the internet because I don't know what else to blame it on, everything's a fandom.

I hypothesize it's a reaction to the consumerist construction of identity, enabled by the internet. In more steps, I don't think consumerism is detailed or interactive enough to support everyone's identity-construction, but capitalism and modernism keep melting away everything else. Fandom fits into the same space as consumerism but can include cameraderie and production, which lots of us need.

WHICH is slightly relevant to this thread because the original video is certainly production and here we are having cameraderie about it, too. Thanks, JimTheBeerGuy!
posted by clew at 12:05 PM on December 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

a couple references to poudre lombard as another standard, but no description.

I seem to remember that poudre lombard is one of those things that shows up as a standard ingredient in recipes, but no surviving sources actually spell out what’s in it, so we only have conjecture and supposition.
posted by zamboni at 4:44 PM on December 8, 2020 [1 favorite]

Count me in as another person delighted to learn about the Sandwich Tribunal blog, which is a perfect mixture of Wikipedia rabbit-hole diving, local restaurant reviewing, and cooking experimentation.

Also, it is giving me lunch ideas.
posted by eponym at 9:54 AM on December 9, 2020 [2 favorites]