How does it feel to lose a child?

June 10, 2021 9:00 AM

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this sculpture—Melancholy, by Albert György—is worth all the words, all the languages.
posted by she's not there (17 comments total)

It is worse than even this sculpture portrays...
posted by Windopaene at 9:37 AM on June 10, 2021 [15 favorites]

Is there some direct tie between the sculptor's intent and the experience of losing a child? I didn't see anything in the link.

Doesn't particularly resonate with my experience, either. Too much light.
posted by gurple at 11:13 AM on June 10, 2021 [2 favorites]

I'm also not totally seeing what the link is, but there's more information on the sculpture/sculptor in an article linked from the one in the OP on a Buffalo website.
posted by sagc at 11:17 AM on June 10, 2021

Add me to the chorus of "the title is clickbait."

If OP has had the experience of which they write, their reaction to the picture is not universal. I'm going with "not all the words."
posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 12:38 PM on June 10, 2021 [1 favorite]

I have no experience with losing a child (and my heart goes out to those who do) but I do find that the sculpture seems to portray feelings of loss and of being bereft in a way that resonates with me. I think it's a great sculpture. Thanks for posting it.
posted by Too-Ticky at 12:52 PM on June 10, 2021 [13 favorites]

My daughter died in January. Today is her 32nd birthday.

The sculpture spoke to me. I didn't think that my experience need be universal for this link to be relevant.
posted by she's not there at 1:03 PM on June 10, 2021 [57 favorites]

I like it a lot. My loss is not the OP's loss or the artist's loss. But it feels strangely good to have this out there.
posted by Omnomnom at 1:21 PM on June 10, 2021 [5 favorites]

There’s also this classic example. I legit started weeping when I saw it in person. Her face.
posted by mr_roboto at 1:43 PM on June 10, 2021 [1 favorite]

Honoring grief, sorrow and the surrealism of losing part of the next generation is high art. Kathe Kollwitz had a Grieving Parent series of sculpture, one is housed in the Neue Wache, inspired by Pieta. She lost her son in the 1930s and brought it to her German art. It’s not surrealism, though that was well underway by WWI.
posted by childofTethys at 2:11 PM on June 10, 2021

Thank you, she's not there. It is a beautiful post. May her memory be a blessing, even through the pain.
posted by bcd at 2:51 PM on June 10, 2021 [7 favorites]

That is beautiful.
posted by evilmomlady at 4:54 PM on June 10, 2021

I'm sorry if my comment made your day worse, she's not there.

For me, the post title was one of those occasional, slightly startling reminders of my own loss. When I looked at the link and didn't see a connection to child loss, I wasn't sure if I was missing something, or what.

I should've recognized your post as a missive from a fellow member of the club no one wants to be in. The thing we all have in common is the thing that's so utterly different for each of us.
posted by gurple at 6:05 PM on June 10, 2021 [7 favorites]

heartbreaking grief. What this doesn't show is that the heartbreaking grief never really goes away.
posted by bluesky43 at 7:13 PM on June 10, 2021 [2 favorites]

Thanks for sharing this.
posted by Toddles at 7:32 PM on June 10, 2021 [1 favorite]

Correct bluesky43

Has been over 25 years for me. Still spend the whole day crying when these types of posts appear... Which is not to criticize them. Perhaps they will lead some folks to help and healing. But...

It's a loss that will never disappear.
posted by Windopaene at 7:54 PM on June 10, 2021 [1 favorite]

I lost a little girl when my wife had a tubal pregnancy. Sister Bridget Clare and my wife convinced me I should see the tiny 16-week-old fetus. The little darling was perfectly formed and so beautiful. It’s been 53 years, I never had another child, and this post brought tears for that loss like I’ve not experienced in years. Thank you.
posted by lometogo at 11:47 PM on June 10, 2021 [8 favorites]

That's a beautiful, speaking sculpture. It made me gasp in recognition. Thank you for the link.

I don't think there are any words that can address the loss of a child, but it would be worse not to try: she's not there, I hope you have the comfort of many happy memories.
posted by Pentickle at 12:59 AM on June 14, 2021 [1 favorite]