The First Guy to Ever ...

December 7, 2021 9:46 AM

The first guy to ever take a vacation, wrap a gift, commit a crime, write fiction, have a name, be a toxic fan, own a cat, punch someone, clean himself, be an artist, make a commercial, wear a costume, dream, celebrate Christmas, kidnap someone, open a restaurant, hold up a lighter at a concert, make a friend, have a home, swim, play tag, get drunk, get ripped, get divorced, celebrate a birthday, rob a bank, be king, eat dessert, go camping, open a zoo, open a school, wear contact lens, break an arm, open a hotel, play Duck Duck Goose, climb a mountain, go to prison, order food delivery, sell insurance, feel an earthquake, be a sports mascot, hire an assassin, shoplift, graduate, be a motivational speaker, solve a crime, or order drive-thru.

Putting this FPP together was super-easy, barely an inconvenience. (Producer: "Hey, that's the thing they say!")

posted by MollyRealized (34 comments total)

This post should get right off my back.
posted by doctornemo at 9:53 AM on December 7, 2021 [7 favorites]

That should be super easy, barely an inconvenience.
posted by ourobouros at 9:57 AM on December 7, 2021 [7 favorites]

Should be super easy, barely an inconvenience.
posted by chavenet at 10:00 AM on December 7, 2021 [1 favorite]

Why do I get the impression his face is being superimposed onto other people? To be clear, I don't think there's that sort of Photoshoppery actually going on, and yet... Anyway, these are pretty entertaining.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:16 AM on December 7, 2021 [1 favorite]

The prequel to the first divorce: The First Couple To Ever Get Married (ft. Ryan George) [Includes Julie "Explaining to My Past Self" Nolke]
posted by chavenet at 10:24 AM on December 7, 2021 [5 favorites]

Bravo! Our child has been feeding us a steady diet of this hilarity for some time, thanks for posting to the Blue!!
posted by riverlife at 10:29 AM on December 7, 2021

Everyone looks rather similar so the sketch can happen!
posted by mce at 10:40 AM on December 7, 2021 [1 favorite]

For anyone wondering about the "Super Easy! Barely an Inconvenience!" thing people are referencing here, definitely check out Ryan George's "Pitch Meetings."
posted by Navelgazer at 11:34 AM on December 7, 2021 [10 favorites]

Pitch meetings are tight!
posted by mochapickle at 11:45 AM on December 7, 2021 [13 favorites]

definitely check out Ryan George's "Pitch Meetings yt ."

Hi there, hello. I will do that, as it sounds like doing so would be... I cannot think of the phrase. "Surprisingly straightforward and of little difficulty?"
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:46 AM on December 7, 2021 [1 favorite]

He also has a series called "Pro Tips" also on Screen Rant. Myself, I find all of his stuff hilarious and am always eagerly awaiting the latest to drop.
posted by rozcakj at 11:51 AM on December 7, 2021 [1 favorite]

The Pitch Meetings especially are fun to compare and contrast his earlier output with current, and seeing his general production and editing game go from funny to TIGHT and wowwowwow...wow as he really dialed in the snappy cadence of the delivery and the cuts 'back and forth.' A lot of the First Guy To series seemed to have come about after he really got a handle on that.
posted by Drastic at 12:08 PM on December 7, 2021 [2 favorites]

Wow wow wow wow wow, wow!
posted by loquacious at 12:27 PM on December 7, 2021 [6 favorites]

this guy has clearly spent a lot of time mastering the exact voice cadence and intonation that most makes me want to shove ice picks in my ears, and while I don't fully understand why he did it, I have to admire the perverse dedication to his horrible craft
posted by logicpunk at 1:14 PM on December 7, 2021 [11 favorites]

The prequel to the first divorce:

Yeah, that crossover event (or whatever the YouTube term for that is) is how I was first exposed to Ryan George, since we started catching Julie's updates every Thursday pretty much right after the first past self sketch. He's great, too!

Am I the only one who is having trouble with the inline player in the OP? Working fine in the comments though.
posted by solotoro at 1:18 PM on December 7, 2021 [1 favorite]

seconding logicpunk. My daughter listens to these all-the-time on her tablet without headphones and the cadence he uses is difficult to ignore. Not in a "now I'm paying attention to what he's saying" way, but in a "now I can't concentrate on what I was doing because there's someone talking loudly without pausing for 3 minutes straight" and then on to the next one ...
posted by roue at 1:20 PM on December 7, 2021 [1 favorite]

He’s like the anti-Florida Man, isn’t he
posted by armoir from antproof case at 1:42 PM on December 7, 2021

So, cool story, I let my kids watch two of these and now they're doing bits.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:28 PM on December 7, 2021 [5 favorites]

He’s like the anti-Florida Man, isn’t he

Having never heard of this guy before I totally knew that he was Canadian based on how he talked.

In conclusion, I enjoy his shtick but i can see how it can wear thin fairly quickly, at least for me.
posted by ashbury at 6:19 PM on December 7, 2021 [1 favorite]

As far as I know his schtick is mainly a pitch perfect parody of pitch meetings and started with the movie pitch videos and pitch meetings in general.

Fighting the urge to punch him in the face or at least wait for the next elevator is presumed to the intended evoked response and he's damn good at it.

I love the movie pitch videos but I can only take so many in a row before I start having intrusive thoughts and I start grinding my teeth.
posted by loquacious at 7:48 PM on December 7, 2021 [3 favorites]

There's so much to love about the pitch meeting videos. The catchphrases, obviously, but also how they're worked into a particular pitch. Producer guy's glimpses of insight/confusion/horror before accepting Writer guy's assurances. And ultimately the pointed criticism that reveals how much we are like Producer guy.

The First Guy videos are fine, but just don't reach that level.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:15 PM on December 7, 2021 [4 favorites]

Mr Nat hates watching me put in or take out my contacts. The contact lens video was thus quite a hit, thanks!
posted by nat at 10:09 PM on December 7, 2021

this guy has clearly spent a lot of time mastering the exact voice cadence and intonation that most makes me want to shove ice picks in my ears, and while I don't fully understand why he did it, I have to admire the perverse dedication to his horrible craft

Mrs. Optamystic strongly concurs, to the point where I have to make sure she's out of earshot when I play his videos.
posted by Optamystic at 4:38 AM on December 8, 2021

We Live In The Dumbest Timeline

From May 2020... Surely he'll never feel the need to revisit this.
posted by DigDoug at 5:48 AM on December 8, 2021 [3 favorites]

The Christmas one is great. Semi-related: my kid noted this morning that the first guy to nail socks to his fireplace had to be deeply weird.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:05 AM on December 8, 2021 [1 favorite]

MetaFilter: I can only take so many in a row before I start having intrusive thoughts and I start grinding my teeth.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:29 AM on December 8, 2021 [2 favorites]

The thing about the Pitch Meeting videos is that they are often insightful, discovering plot holes in movies that I had overlooked. There's more going on there than just dumping a lot of catchphrases. (Although there's also the inevitable "Pitch Meeting" Pitch Meeting.)
posted by SPrintF at 7:43 AM on December 8, 2021 [2 favorites]

Is he the same guy that honks air horns at geese?
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:48 AM on December 8, 2021

My husband and I love Ryan George. We can only watch two Pitch Meetings at a time, because they get to be too similar, but they're always funny and you have to wonder sometimes how these movies actually get made, they sound so terrible (we watched the Pitch Meeting for John Wick Chapter 2 yesterday and it was mind-bogglingly bad). After watching the Pitch Meeting for Furious 7 we use it as shorthand for action sequences where the characters should definitely die, but barely get scratched. Like, the many times Black Widow should have died in her movie--there were many Furious 7 moments.

The First Guy videos are good, but I prefer the earlier ones to the most recent ones, and sometimes the ads he does for his sponsors at the end of the video are better than the actual First Guy sketch, but that's a minor complaint.
posted by ceejaytee at 8:03 AM on December 8, 2021

The thing about the Pitch Meeting videos is that they are often insightful

That's what keeps me watching them, sometimes the most observant and trenchant criticism I see of these movies is in these little comedy videos.
posted by LooseFilter at 8:25 AM on December 8, 2021 [1 favorite]

Mr Nat hates watching me put in or take out my contacts. The contact lens video was thus quite a hit, thanks!

Many years ago, after years of wearing specs, I asked my optometrist about the possibility of contact lenses. He said sure, and pulled out some packages of samples in my prescription so I could try them out in the office.

After I put them in and was blinking quite a lot, he asked how they were feeling.

“It feels like I’ve got something in my eyes.”

“Well, that’s because you do.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:47 AM on December 8, 2021 [1 favorite]

Count me among the crowd of Ryan George fans married to people for whom his style might as well be a cheese-grater on their earballs. (I was already used to this as a fan of McElroy content, though.)
posted by Navelgazer at 8:49 AM on December 8, 2021 [1 favorite]

(we watched the Pitch Meeting for John Wick Chapter 2 yesterday and it was mind-bogglingly bad)

Off-topic, but since I'm the only person I know of who has ever watched A.P. Bio... there's a great bit in one ep re: John Wick 2.

JACK: "I dunno... I haven't seen the first one. Will I be able to follow it?"
LYNETTE: "Do you know how guns work?"

In conclusion, go watch A.P. Bio. It's better than you think it will be and definitely grows into awesome places as it goes along.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:53 AM on December 8, 2021 [1 favorite]

I dunno, I couldn't finish season 1 because the show was too much "people being terrible" and gave up. I also wasn't into The Office (British or American) and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia for the same reason. Caveat Emptor.

/derail
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:50 PM on December 8, 2021