Will There Ever Be an Openly Queer NHL Player?

March 15, 2022 12:43 PM

It seems to me that there’s something about men’s hockey—a sport about which comedian Rodney Dangerfield once reportedly quipped, “I went to a fight last night and a hockey game broke out”—that’s especially unfriendly to queerness. Its core culture remains one of male aggression, where weakness of any kind, real or perceived, gets weaponized.

I know what I’m talking about because I left hockey myself, largely over not being “manly enough”. Alex Manley writes in The Walrus.
posted by Rumple (25 comments total)

No mention of Luke Prokop in the article? Weird.
posted by Grither at 12:48 PM on March 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

Sorry, to expand, this is definitely a problem, and I'm not sure how best to address it, but I find it strange that the only player to be openly gay and under an NHL contract isn't mentioned in the article.
posted by Grither at 12:51 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Grither, the article is from last March. I guess Prokop didn't come out until July 2021?
posted by Lawn Beaver at 12:59 PM on March 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Its core culture remains one of male aggression, where weakness of any kind, real or perceived, gets weaponized.

Welcome to Sparta.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 1:30 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

I wonder if Brian Burke's advocacy after his son's death had any positive impact on Prokop's reception so far.
posted by clawsoon at 1:58 PM on March 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

As a Walrus subscriber, I've noticed how often it recycles year-old stories via social media promotion, including this one which I was fed several times over the past week (and which I remember reading when it was originally published). It's at the point now where if I see a Walrus article promoted in my feed, I know it's either very recent, or at least a year or two old—there seems to be no in-between.

It's a regrettable practice because out-of-date articles like this one don't include important updates like the previously-mentioned Prokop coming out story.
posted by jordantwodelta at 2:05 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

So the answer to the titular question is yes!

Take that, Betteridge!
posted by chavenet at 2:18 PM on March 15, 2022 [12 favorites]

I used to think high stakes, big money sports were a sort of refinement that allowed us to move past the kill-the-other-tribe reflex that seems to flare up all the time.. a release valve for all the alpha male energy in society? without a mastodon to kill, might as well play for the Bruins

lately I watch games, and as much as I scream like a kid to watch Connor McDavid score the OT winner against the Capitals (and Ovechkin kept scoreless).. there are a lot of times watching any big sports spectacle feels a bit like my brain in YT.. the algorithms are working me over, telling me the manly vehicle to purchase and Hey why not try online gambling, because that's what real dudes do with their leisure and money.

A couple of years ago my buddy said "I stopped watching.. it's overpaid men playing a game" and I feel it.. Sure was fun watching Gushue win the Men's Brier (missing one guy!) so maybe I've hit my curling years and that's all there is to it.
posted by elkevelvet at 2:26 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

I have disliked hockey my entire life: players, announcers, and the game itself.

But the fans include a bunch of innocent and good-natured Canadians whose feelings I don’t want to hurt.

So I keep my mouth shut.
posted by jamjam at 2:42 PM on March 15, 2022 [6 favorites]

Hockey looks like it'd be a lot of fun.

I've been skating a lot recently (got toepick:), a few old guys that I chat with that played hockey seem relatively cool and probably would be fine and not too judgemental. But in a crowd of players, the intensity ramps up to 11 and fitting in is a big element.

Serious that it looks fun but the investment in time and equipment is pretty big and then even the non-pro/non-school leagues are on the edge of crazy cult obsessive. And from chatting with the older guys there is no chill out in a game, full on win is the only thing. (and I've never been a group sport person) but I love their energy on the ice and how the good ones skate, strong edges and fast, and it does look fun to do, but nawh, no way.
posted by sammyo at 3:09 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Its core culture remains one of male aggression

One thing I learned recently is they get swapped out after literally 45 seconds of play. It is basically a full sprint. I assume the rest is only another 45 seconds and back in, but it is insanely intense.
posted by sammyo at 3:14 PM on March 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

sammyo, my partner used to play with a mixed group of men/women and they had a ton of fun (purely recreational, non-contact and minimal investment.. padding as you like, helmets required, and sticks of course).. very low stakes but everyone got a chance to put skates on and chase the puck around. If you're just looking to experience hockey, I sure hope you find the right opportunity. On the other end of the scale, a buddy got into the local beer league thing and where one game was a blast, there'd be the other team the following week and all it takes is one or two big mouths on a bench and it can change the tone. He switched to Men's League Curling and never looked back.

good-natured chirping and all is great fun, but even my brother (pretty die-hard, probably took a break from playing more from his two hip replacements than anything) started telling stories of too much bullsh*t. Be interesting to know what others are experiencing. From what I hear of my nieces, and what I see of Women's Hockey, I don't know that it's perfect but some of the worst aspects aren't nearly as visible (to me anyhow)
posted by elkevelvet at 3:20 PM on March 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

LOL from the article: "This article was published over a year ago. Some information may no longer be current." Yeah, like....someone came out?!
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:12 PM on March 15, 2022 [6 favorites]

I assume the rest is only another 45 seconds and back in, but it is insanely intense.

I just checked and it looks like playing half the game is pretty uncommon and is mostly done by the defense. Typically a professional team will have three or four lines that it rotates, so rest will be longer than play. My impression is that a top player will typically only play 50%+ of the time if it's the last period of a close, important game.
posted by clawsoon at 4:26 PM on March 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

I'm sorry the fact the piece is a year old took some people by surprise but it does note that at the very top of the article. I did not realize Metafilter was the new twitter where a year is such an eternity.

For people pointing to pioneer Luke Prokop, note that the article is about playing in the NHL, the top men's league in the world. Prokop was drafted in the 3rd round and plays in a junior league, where he is having an ok but not outstanding season. 3rd round draft picks have about a one in four chance of playing in the NHL. I hope he makes it for a number of reasons, but he is not there yet.
posted by Rumple at 4:39 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Hockey games can really degenerate, e.g. the Good Friday Massacre in the NHL, and it's not uncommon among the people I know to have to quit a league or team because of a few assholes ruining the game. Usually in recreational leagues you have 9 forwards (3 lines), 4 defenders and a goalkeeper, but 3 defenders can be done; the periods are only 15 minutes so a game can fit in 1 hour.
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 5:01 PM on March 15, 2022

I did not realize Metafilter was the new twitter

this pleases me to no end.. that's what I appreciates about you, Rumple
posted by elkevelvet at 5:35 PM on March 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

The truth is, there has always been homoerotic desire in hockey, the way there is any time enough men gather together, like a sort of queer holy spirit.

Letterkenny has played on this; one of the things that makes the hero "better" than the hockey players is that he has wiped any semblance of homoeroticism from his persona and they have not.
posted by clawsoon at 5:39 PM on March 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Thanks for posting this article. I would not have seen it. I had been a fan my whole life (never played organised hockey, only street hockey) and I really appreciate what the writer says. I grew up watching hockey games, collecting cards, reading books. But since I've been a child it's been a steady stream of negative stories that I don't want to follow the NHL any longer.

When I look back I see it as decades of awful stories. The career-ending eye injuries in the 1980s, the stories of hockey players being encouraged (or not discouraged) to mistreat girls and women. The complaints about European players. In the 1990s, the stories of sexual abuse of players and children by hockey insiders. The concussions (can you believe we were at risk of our three superstar forwards from the late 1990s and early 2000s (Paul Kariya, Eric Lindros and Sid Crosby) not playing 1,000 career games). The chronic pain and the pain killers (and a star being caught at the border). The horrific stories of hazing and sexual assault (and the courageous work of Daniel Carcillo and Kyle Beach).

That BIPOC players tended to be brawlers because youth coaches tended to steer them to that role. That they made hockey cards with penalty minute leaders, as if they were equal to the goal scoring leaders and the shutout leaders. I knew since I was a child that Willie O'Ree was the first Black NHL player and Herb Carneige was denied a chance and that there were Black players in the late seventies and onward (Mike Marson, Grant Fuhr, Tony McKegney and others), but it was only a couple of months ago that I read an article that asked why such a long gap between the first player and the second.

That losing teeth is admired (as if the NHL was the yakuza, where literally losing body parts is your membership card). The incredible mythology of hockey superiority even though Canada won those series by small margins: beating the Soviets by 1 goal in 1972 (granted the refereeing was questionable, but as a friend used to say to me, notice the mint doesn't make a commemorative coin of Bobby Clarke breaking Valeri Kharlamov's ankle), winning the final games against the European national teams by 1 goal in 1976, 1 goal in 1984, 1 goal in 1987, and losing final games 6-0 in 1979 and 8-1 in 1981.

That so many NHLers are politically apathetic or Republican (unlike say a lot NBA players), when a star would not go to the White House because Obama was president, but seemed fine that many of his workplaces were funded by tax dollars. And the homophobia was always there, even casually mentioned during intermission on national broadcasts within the last 20 years.

The writer of the article touches on things much more thoroughly than I can. I'll keep the author's name in mind for more articles. I won't be watching the NHL. But I hope the advocacy work by Brian Burke and all of the others (and the author bringing attention to it) can make things better.
posted by philfromhavelock at 6:27 PM on March 15, 2022 [7 favorites]

There's an important distinction to be made here when talking about hockey culture. A lot of what is being discussed in this article, and in this thread, relates specifically to men's hockey, and the NHL pro game. Men's hockey is even called out in the pull quote at the top of this post.

My father coached university women's hockey for nearly 20 years. And, well, I can tell you women's hockey is a hell of a lot more accepting of queer players than what's been discussed here so far.

But is that really a surprise? So what are we really talking about here, because it's not hockey, or even hockey culture. It's toxic masculinity being played out against a sporting background, whether it's on a massive ice sheet being fueled by millions of dollars in salaries, sponsorships, and ticket sales, or whether it's at your local rink after dark being fueled by too many beers in the pickup-league dressing room.

I'd love to read an article about hockey, written from a queer woman's perspective.
posted by jordantwodelta at 2:34 PM on March 16, 2022 [8 favorites]

And, well, I can tell you women's hockey is a hell of a lot more accepting of queer players than what's been discussed here so far.

I'm guessing - and I'm sure there are people who have thought about this a lot more than I have - that this comes from white cishet male being the privileged category that it's important for initiates to keep people out of.
posted by clawsoon at 4:35 PM on March 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

I know absolutely nothing about men's NHL hockey but in reading several romance books which center around men's hockey, I have noticed that there is a healthy niche of gay hockey player novels, mostly written by women. I guess it's kind of a fan/fic thing?

The first one I read was by an author I like and I kept reading more because these are such an odd thing to read about (for me) and it cracks my sister up that I have learned an assortment of hockey terms. Plenty of these novels deal with player and player romance, coach and player love, and coach on coach action. Since all I "know" about hockey has been learned from these peculiar books, I tell you I am shocked, shocked! that there is homophobia in pro hockey.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 6:12 PM on March 16, 2022 [3 favorites]

I guess it's kind of a fan/fic thing?

I remember reading once long ago that hockey attracts more fanfic than any other sport. The writer suggested that it was precisely because hockey players tend to be white and come from well-off families to a much greater degree than any other major team sport.
posted by clawsoon at 7:35 PM on March 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

Well, in the fictional gay hockey world, there are men of many colors, nationalities, and languages. The one thing they all have in common is hot toned bodies! Except the ones that have retired because of injuries. The writers are breaking down all the differences. There are even a few asexual and polyamorous players.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 9:17 PM on March 16, 2022 [3 favorites]

Interesting! It was many years ago that I read what I did; is this something that has changed in the meantime, or did it always have that diversity and the essayist I was reading just wasn't exposed to it?
posted by clawsoon at 4:41 AM on March 17, 2022