Think of it like AskMeFi on acid. Add baking soda and let sit.

May 12, 2022 11:10 PM

Cookingflavr.com may be the worst-disguised food advice site run by an AI. In fact, let's not stop at food. There are a few dozen questions posted (by itself) every day, and almost each answer semantically confuses itself out of correct or useful advice. [Via Janelle Shane's AIWierdness blog]

Examples:

Can You Use AirPods In Shower?

• There is no definitive answer to this question since it depends on a variety of personal factors. However, some people believe that using airPods in the shower can be beneficial because they can help reduce water usage and save money.

Who Is The Youngest Disney Family Member?

• Disney’s youngest family member is Mickey, who was born on April 15, 1928. He is the son of Walt Disney and his wife, Ethel Merman.

What Is The White Spot On A Horse’s Nose Called?

• The white spot on a horse’s nose is called a “white spot.”

posted by not_on_display (33 comments total)

Pistol shrimp are small, hard-bodied creatures that can cling to gun barrels and cause serious damage... The shrimp is quickly fast and agile, so it is difficult for the human or bird to defend themselves. The shrimp then inflicts serious injuries, often causing death.

Dang. TIL!
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 1:34 AM on May 13, 2022 [3 favorites]

An upstand is someone who stands up for what they believe in, while a splashback is someone who Splash back on what they believe in.

Profound.
posted by NMcCoy at 1:54 AM on May 13, 2022 [5 favorites]

Some cyberpunk novels have secret endings that are not easily guessed. For example, the novel 1984 by George Orwell is set in a future world in which the government has control over the thoughts and actions of the population. In order for the protagonist, Big Brother, to have a successful and happy ending, he must be able to remain hidden from the government for as long as possible.

this website is vaguely incredible
posted by taquito sunrise at 2:18 AM on May 13, 2022 [10 favorites]

Incomplete without Bitter Crack Baby arguing with The Cube.
posted by rhizome at 2:34 AM on May 13, 2022

Having just finished up end of semester grading, this is only persuading me that some of the lab reports I just read were written by AI. Which makes me feel better about some of those Ds and Fs.
posted by hydropsyche at 3:52 AM on May 13, 2022 [6 favorites]

I love the cognitive wobble some of these sentences induce:

In fact, it has been proven that pleasure is addictive and can lead to negative consequences like addiction.
posted by Zumbador at 3:57 AM on May 13, 2022 [8 favorites]

What Time Of Year Do Orioles Migrate? The Orioles migrate from spring training to the Majors in late October.

The dates are a little questionable, but I can't say that answer is completely crazy.
posted by bonehead at 4:16 AM on May 13, 2022 [11 favorites]

Metafilter: I love the cognitive wobble some of these sentences induce.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 5:01 AM on May 13, 2022 [10 favorites]

Even the right answers are wrong in some weird-ass way.
posted by tommasz at 5:46 AM on May 13, 2022 [2 favorites]

It's funny, until you think through some of the ramifications for advice for recipes/instructions that is actively dangerous/harmful and then combine it with a world of people for whom English is a 2nd or 3rd language. (Or even culturally/socially - if someone started talking about how the Baltimore Orioles love to eat ants, most listeners would look at them like they have grown a second head))
posted by rozcakj at 5:48 AM on May 13, 2022 [3 favorites]

Oh god, my 10yo and I were reading this last night and cry-laughing. Janelle Shane’s Twitter is always great, too.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 5:54 AM on May 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

This is hilarious, but definitely agree with rozcakj on the potential safety hazards (which Janelle Shane raised in her post as well). For example this article on thawing chicken would not be a good one to look to for real cooking advice and could lead to people getting very sick. Is there any indication about why this website exists? Is it some kind of demented art project? Click-bait?
posted by dellsolace at 6:02 AM on May 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

In the wild, a hummingbird might fly up to a human and perch on his head to get a better view of the flower. If the human is not paying attention, the hummingbird will jump onto his head and start to eat his brain.

Wow, TIL!

A fish has scales on its body, just like a human. But the scales on a fish’s body are not the same as the scales on a human’s body. Fish scales are made of a different type of metal than human scales.

I would pay good money to have the narrator of Look Around You read the content of this website.
posted by mmoncur at 6:26 AM on May 13, 2022 [9 favorites]

This is hilarious, but definitely agree with rozcakj on the potential safety hazards

If you're talking about things on the Internet being wrong, I think that ship sailed a long time ago.
posted by mmoncur at 6:27 AM on May 13, 2022 [5 favorites]

How To Know When Black Eyed Peas Are Done?

Black Eyed Peas are done when they reach the point where they are no longer interesting to listen to. They may still produce good music, but their quality has decreased.

What Is The Creepiest Nursery Rhyme?

The creepiest Nursery Rhyme is “You’re a Bug, I’m a Worm”. It’s said because when you’re a bug, people think you’re harmless. When you’re a worm, people think you’re dangerous.

Is Thomas The Tank Engine Sexist?

Thomas the Tank Engine is a sexist character due to his opinions on women. He says that they are not capable of taking care of themselves, and that they are only good for being wives and mothers. He also says that they are not strong enough to do real work, and that they are only good for being housewives.
posted by verstegan at 7:18 AM on May 13, 2022 [6 favorites]

Can't sleep! Hummingbird will eat me!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:24 AM on May 13, 2022 [5 favorites]

To be fair, I didn't know what an upstand is. If you'd told me at gunpoint to write a paragraph about upstands I doubt I could have done better.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 8:06 AM on May 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

oh good more noise to drown out signal

just what we need
posted by lalochezia at 8:30 AM on May 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

To be fair, I didn't know what an upstand is.

It's the opposite of a downsit.

he said, carefully avoiding any mention of updog or SAIT
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:50 AM on May 13, 2022 [6 favorites]

Someone's finally automated horse_ebooks.
posted by Nelson at 9:05 AM on May 13, 2022

There are a few ways to get rid of bacterial bloom in an aquarium. One is to use a vacuum cleaner to suck the air out of the tank. Another is to use a can of compressed air to blow out the air pockets.

Good to know, good to know.
posted by flabdablet at 9:31 AM on May 13, 2022 [6 favorites]

Even the right answers are wrong in some weird-ass way.

MetaFilter: . . .
posted by The Bellman at 9:57 AM on May 13, 2022 [6 favorites]

These types of AI-written fake site drive me nuts, there are loads of them and I'm surprised people don't talk about them more, but I guess it's maybe more of a problem with DuckDuckGo than other search engines. It's one of the ways in which it's gone downhill in recent years, if you search for any cooking/diy/tech related question you always get a few of these on the first page. Off the top of my head, askinglot.com is a common culprit, it's one of the ones that's become quite prolific unfortunately.

Granted most of these types of sites do a slightly better job than the one in the FPP, sometimes the answers are still pretty stupid, sometimes they turn out ok by chance, but regardless it's clear they're just scraping content from legitimate sites. Presumably the aim is to regurgitate a ton of content containing frequent search terms in the hope of grabbing traffic and ad revenue. Either way it's really irritating.
posted by AllShoesNoSocks at 12:05 PM on May 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

Do I want a femilift?! Maybe?! https://cookingflavr.com/what-to-expect-after-femilift/
posted by jenjenc at 6:52 PM on May 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

FemiLift takes around 2 hours to work, depending on the size of your lift.

That must be one hell of a tall building.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:08 PM on May 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

Now I'm learning all about sprinters!

When two people are running in the same direction, they are said to be running “in the same direction.” However, in the world of sprinting, there is a difference between running “in the same direction” and sprinting in the same direction.

When you sprint in the same direction as your opponent, you are trying to outrun them. This is done by sprinting as quickly as possible in the direction that your opponent is running.

However, when you sprint in the same direction as your own body, you’re not trying to outrun your own body. Instead, you’re trying to move as quickly as possible in the direction that your own body is moving. This is done by sprinting in the same direction as your own body and in the same position.

Noted! Whenever the starter's pistol fires, I find my body running "in the same direction" as the other runner, but I cannot outrun my own body, and sometimes I'm running somewhere else completely, and I have no idea if my body has won the race or not.
posted by not_on_display at 8:42 PM on May 13, 2022 [3 favorites]

However, when you sprint in the same direction as your own body, you’re not trying to outrun your own body. Instead, you’re trying to move as quickly as possible in the direction that your own body is moving.

Incidentally, that's the best known prophylactive against Bonus Eruptus.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:48 PM on May 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

Bluemonkeysports.com and lovefishtank.com seem like very similar kinds of site. I guess it's just to drive traffic to them for ad impressions, and other than borking the web's already extremely borked signal to noise ratio I can't really see anything super bad about that. Everyone gots to get paid somehow, y'know... If my life had gone a little different I might be in the business of SEO exploitation myself...
posted by signsofrain at 7:11 PM on May 14, 2022

I just don't understand how people can surf the web without adblockers! If I had to look at ads while reading this, it'd have been too much.

HOW DO YOU SURF THE WEB?

There is no one conclusive answer to this. Some surfers prefer boards that will let them surf without moderation; others wax the internet before hitting the waves. Spiders surf the web by catching flies, much like Baltimore Orioles.
posted by not_on_display at 10:27 PM on May 14, 2022 [3 favorites]

Today the AI seems fixated on humpback whales and cataracts, and possible bondo hardener.
posted by jessamyn at 9:32 AM on May 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

Oh it gave a doozy of a random walk on "Is 'Fuser' a word?"

How Do You Pronounce Ramoncito?

Ramoncito is a Spanish word meaning “little onion.” It is pronounced “rah-muh-nuh-tuh” or “rah-muh-nuh-tuh-seh.”

How Do You Pronounce Karintha?

There is no one answer to this question as everyone has their own unique way of pronouncing Karintha. However, general consensus has it that the pronunciation is “k-a-r-i-n-tha”.

posted by not_on_display at 5:42 PM on May 17, 2022

Where Do You Put Specifically In A Sentence?
In a sentence, put “specifically” in front of “in a sentence.” For example, “specifically, I put my laptop in the overhead bin.”


Can You Start A Sentence With More Specifically?
The most specific way to start a sentence is “I am.”
I am a cat.
posted by not_on_display at 9:18 PM on May 24, 2022

Would Have Or Would.of?

You might want to be a great writer, but if you don’t have a lot of experience writing, you might not get the job that you want. You might want to be a great doctor, but if you don’t have a lot of experience in that field, you might not get the call to become a doctor.

There are a lot of things people want to do in life, but very few things that are actually required to achieve them.

posted by flabdablet at 9:57 PM on May 24, 2022