The Galactic Empire can’t find Obi-Wan. I’ll never vote for them again.
June 3, 2022 3:24 PM Subscribe
Patrick Freyne of The Irish Times reviews Obi-Wan: A bunch of baddies arrive on Tatooine looking for Jedis. They’re led by an officious alien named The Grand Inquisitor. He’s “grand” in the UK sense, not the Irish sense (ie, “How’s his inquisiting?” “It’s grand.”)
There appears to be a Space Boston, and certainly there is a Space Tunisia; why shouldn’t there be a Space Ireland? I’ve grown indifferent to new SW stuff, but that could all turn around if just one character said “Ah, it’s grand, so”
posted by Countess Elena at 3:50 PM on June 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 3:50 PM on June 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
Everyone brings with them their own prejudices based on their childhood experience of playing with Star Wars toys.
I stole Erika's older brother's Ewoks so my Barbies could have them as pets. Wouldn't be surprised if he grew to be a Redditor who complains about Star Wars all the time. It's a villain origin story for both of us.
posted by betweenthebars at 3:53 PM on June 3, 2022 [15 favorites]
I stole Erika's older brother's Ewoks so my Barbies could have them as pets. Wouldn't be surprised if he grew to be a Redditor who complains about Star Wars all the time. It's a villain origin story for both of us.
posted by betweenthebars at 3:53 PM on June 3, 2022 [15 favorites]
In the original script we would of met his younger brother, Obi-Two Kenobi.
posted by interogative mood at 3:54 PM on June 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by interogative mood at 3:54 PM on June 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
Another fabulous first paragraph from Patrick Freyne. The whole review is so much fun to read.
posted by kingless at 3:54 PM on June 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by kingless at 3:54 PM on June 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Obi-we Kenobi is set 10 years after Revenge of the Sith, in which the Empire took over the galaxy thanks to its ambitious Keynesian infrastructural projects (Death Stars, clone armies and such) and its charismatic leader, Emperor Palpatine, a man who, like Bill Clinton, makes you feel like the only person in the room when he fixes his glowing red eyes upon you.
Keynesian? That's like saying Seamus Heaney is a sith postaster and Clinton never did have the electric hand bolts shoot at will.
"Your wearing a hood, your a Jedi"
"I'm not wearing a hood"
"Your not wearing a hood"
"You don't need to see my light saber"
"right"
"your Micheal Caine and your pants are alight"
"right"
fun Article, thanks.
posted by clavdivs at 3:58 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Keynesian? That's like saying Seamus Heaney is a sith postaster and Clinton never did have the electric hand bolts shoot at will.
"Your wearing a hood, your a Jedi"
"I'm not wearing a hood"
"Your not wearing a hood"
"You don't need to see my light saber"
"right"
"your Micheal Caine and your pants are alight"
"right"
fun Article, thanks.
posted by clavdivs at 3:58 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
+1 for the clem fandango reference
posted by cubeb at 4:00 PM on June 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by cubeb at 4:00 PM on June 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
They’re led by an officious alien named The Grand Inquisitor.
IGNORE ME!
oops wrong universe... ignore this
posted by zaixfeep at 4:55 PM on June 3, 2022 [15 favorites]
IGNORE ME!
oops wrong universe... ignore this
posted by zaixfeep at 4:55 PM on June 3, 2022 [15 favorites]
It's a bunch of shite-talking, really, although entertaining; I rather liked "If there was a film poster for this show, she would be leaning back-to-back with Obi-Wan and they’d both have their arms folded and be looking at the camera over the top of their sunglasses." Tell me you didn't literally see that poster at that moment. On the other hand, he does the thing of seemingly purposely including a plain wrong detail to reel in nerds who will angrily point out that, no, Palpatine's eyes aren't glowing and red; they're yellow and--[stops, removes hook from corner of mouth]--OK, fine, it worked.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:18 PM on June 3, 2022 [10 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:18 PM on June 3, 2022 [10 favorites]
He was mixing them up with Clinton's.
posted by howfar at 7:22 PM on June 3, 2022 [15 favorites]
posted by howfar at 7:22 PM on June 3, 2022 [15 favorites]
Tatooine. The first movie had that iconic Skywalker doubt sunsight and orchestral resolution. The last movie had it also. I always wondered when seeing the original in 77' and in a whisper to my dad.
"What was obi doing all those years........."
"running from the circus"
posted by clavdivs at 7:39 PM on June 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
"What was obi doing all those years........."
"running from the circus"
posted by clavdivs at 7:39 PM on June 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
why shouldn’t there be a Space Ireland?
After all, lots of planets have a North.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 8:06 PM on June 3, 2022 [12 favorites]
After all, lots of planets have a North.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 8:06 PM on June 3, 2022 [12 favorites]
This is my brother Kenobi, and my other brother Kenobi.
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 9:17 PM on June 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 9:17 PM on June 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
I am unlikely to ever watch the show and haven't really felt motivated to watch any Star Wars since the prequels in the 1990s. I found this article both amusing and an excellent way to confirm my bias against newer Star Wars stuff. I would like to see a genre of tv reviews which just make up tv shows in order to mock them in a similar way to this article.
posted by Whale Oil at 9:38 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Whale Oil at 9:38 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
METAFILTER: why shouldn’t there be a Space Ireland?
posted by philip-random at 10:32 PM on June 3, 2022
posted by philip-random at 10:32 PM on June 3, 2022
I donno, "Metafilter: whatever constitutes the Galactic Empire’s early 1990s."?
posted by away for regrooving at 10:54 PM on June 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by away for regrooving at 10:54 PM on June 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Before long the terrible security at her palace means Li’l Leia is kidnapped by Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers (playing himself) following a forest chase scene that looks like it was made in one take by people for whom making money has just got too easy. At one point a baddie literally runs into a tree branch he’s looking right at.
Haha love this!
I just started watching the series as a TOTAL Star Wars virgin, yep, seriously, I’ve never seen anything Star Wars related before this (though for some reason I had some Star Wars toys as a kid, but they were everywhere back then). I’m enjoying it because it all looks pretty cool and I absolutely LOVE Ewan McGregor but omg I have to set aside any critical thinking to be able to enjoy it. It’s so ridiculous but then I guess that’s part of the appeal?
Anyhow, this review was grand in the Irish sense, I even sent it to my other half who has watched and enjoyed all the Star Wars saga and he laughed too and said it’s a pretty good synopsis, except it has a ton of SPOILERS dammit...
posted by bitteschoen at 1:08 AM on June 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
Haha love this!
I just started watching the series as a TOTAL Star Wars virgin, yep, seriously, I’ve never seen anything Star Wars related before this (though for some reason I had some Star Wars toys as a kid, but they were everywhere back then). I’m enjoying it because it all looks pretty cool and I absolutely LOVE Ewan McGregor but omg I have to set aside any critical thinking to be able to enjoy it. It’s so ridiculous but then I guess that’s part of the appeal?
Anyhow, this review was grand in the Irish sense, I even sent it to my other half who has watched and enjoyed all the Star Wars saga and he laughed too and said it’s a pretty good synopsis, except it has a ton of SPOILERS dammit...
posted by bitteschoen at 1:08 AM on June 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
I would like to see a genre of tv reviews which just make up tv shows in order to mock them in a similar way to this article.
While not the same style (it is, not unsurprisingly given its author, much crosser and more terrified), Charlie Brooker's 1999 - 2002 blog, TV Go Home, was one of the sites that made early Web 2.0 seem like a good idea at the time.
(Of course, it turned out that Brooker was just a singular creative talent, not an example of the output you could usually expect from a random guy who writes reviews for PC Zone. While encouraging the world's other disaffected games journalists to express their inner turmoil in blog form did indeed result in more Black Mirror-like events, these events, crucially and fatally, took place in the real world.)
posted by howfar at 3:22 AM on June 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
While not the same style (it is, not unsurprisingly given its author, much crosser and more terrified), Charlie Brooker's 1999 - 2002 blog, TV Go Home, was one of the sites that made early Web 2.0 seem like a good idea at the time.
(Of course, it turned out that Brooker was just a singular creative talent, not an example of the output you could usually expect from a random guy who writes reviews for PC Zone. While encouraging the world's other disaffected games journalists to express their inner turmoil in blog form did indeed result in more Black Mirror-like events, these events, crucially and fatally, took place in the real world.)
posted by howfar at 3:22 AM on June 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
In the original script we would of met his younger brother, Obi-Two Kenobi.
Ewan Macgregor's brother is a pilot in the RAF. His call sign is (allegedly*) Obi-Two.
*No one seems to be able to prove or refute this.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:00 AM on June 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
Ewan Macgregor's brother is a pilot in the RAF. His call sign is (allegedly*) Obi-Two.
*No one seems to be able to prove or refute this.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:00 AM on June 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
why shouldn’t there be a Space Ireland?
I'd watch a show that is just a bunch of Irish day drinkers asking Han Solo, after he brags about the kessel run, "What's your hurry?" and repeatedly saying "The Farce" instead of "The Force".
posted by srboisvert at 5:02 AM on June 4, 2022 [19 favorites]
I'd watch a show that is just a bunch of Irish day drinkers asking Han Solo, after he brags about the kessel run, "What's your hurry?" and repeatedly saying "The Farce" instead of "The Force".
posted by srboisvert at 5:02 AM on June 4, 2022 [19 favorites]
Terrible acting, terrible directing, terrible camera work. It feels amateur; semi-pro if I’m being generous. Several times I wanted to yell, “Cut! What was that? Try again.” Sometimes a major Hollywood franchise production is so disappointing, it doesn’t get you down, it gets you unreasonably optimistic about your own chances: “Hey wait; my geek friends and I are smarter and more talented than these guys…”
posted by kdilla at 5:35 AM on June 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by kdilla at 5:35 AM on June 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
We’ve been enjoying the series very much and yet this affectionate (?) takedown is 100% accurate.
posted by Well I never at 5:49 AM on June 4, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by Well I never at 5:49 AM on June 4, 2022 [5 favorites]
We've been having fun (though not quite as much fun as the linked post) talking about Kenobi over in Fanfare.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:21 PM on June 4, 2022
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:21 PM on June 4, 2022
This has a sort of Honest Trailers/Pitch Meetings vibe to it and I thoroughly approve.
posted by tdismukes at 3:42 AM on June 5, 2022
posted by tdismukes at 3:42 AM on June 5, 2022
"Metafilter: whatever constitutes the Galactic Empire’s early 1990s."
“I was into the Force, like, back in ‘89, but all these new jedis? They just look like sell-outs and posers, dude”
posted by thivaia at 8:52 AM on June 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
“I was into the Force, like, back in ‘89, but all these new jedis? They just look like sell-outs and posers, dude”
posted by thivaia at 8:52 AM on June 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Has nobody here ever been to Drogheda?
posted by Homemade Interossiter at 4:50 PM on June 5, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Homemade Interossiter at 4:50 PM on June 5, 2022 [3 favorites]
Cloud City is an odd, beautiful, isolated outpost with a questionable resource-extraction economy, administered by a gambler who treats it as though he won it, and which has to constantly try not to be noticed as a colony of a hyper-violent Empire, and is therefore Space Ireland.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:08 PM on June 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:08 PM on June 5, 2022 [2 favorites]
Jedi Posers only exist in the Auralnauts universe.
posted by WhackyparseThis at 3:17 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by WhackyparseThis at 3:17 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]
MetaFilter: It’s so ridiculous but then I guess that’s part of the appeal?
posted by kirkaracha at 8:13 AM on June 6, 2022
posted by kirkaracha at 8:13 AM on June 6, 2022
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