So, They're Trying This Again
July 21, 2022 1:43 PM   Subscribe

A trailer just dropped for the new "Dungeons and Dragons" movie. I'm not sure how this is going to turn out, but at least there's an owlbear.
posted by Ipsifendus (138 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
 
It feels more Hackmaster than D&D in tone.
posted by eviemath at 1:48 PM on July 21, 2022


Yeah, maybe I've just failed my save vs. cynicism, but I don't think this is going to be good. But they have the Owlbear, a dragon, what looks to be a dungeon, and a Chris, so I guess the boxes are checked from the corporate marketing side.
posted by nubs at 1:53 PM on July 21, 2022 [5 favorites]


MetaFilter: at least there's an owlbear.
posted by Splunge at 1:56 PM on July 21, 2022 [26 favorites]


Not sure why Chris Pine kept his Capt. Kirk hair for this gig, but otherwise this looks fun.
posted by gwint at 1:56 PM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]


It's one of the good Chris's though. And it has that hot Bridgerton guy.
posted by emjaybee at 1:57 PM on July 21, 2022 [8 favorites]


Needs more Jeremy Irons
posted by The otter lady at 1:58 PM on July 21, 2022 [13 favorites]


I don't know how you make a D&D movie that isn't just Extruded Fantasy Product. The fun of D&D is playing D&D, not watching D&D. Of course, I guess millions of Critical Role fans have proven me wrong on that. But for me, all the Owlbears, Beholders, Mindflayers, Mimics, and other trademarked monsters in the world won't change it. The magic of D&D is in the interaction and improvisation. The actual fantasy worlds involved tend to be generic nonsense. The only media that gets D&D right is when they show people actually playing D&D. Like that episode of Community.
posted by rikschell at 1:58 PM on July 21, 2022 [17 favorites]


On a second viewing, I think I spotted a gelatinous cube, a displacer beast, and a mimic. So they're really bringing the brand-indicia fanservice here.
posted by Ipsifendus at 1:58 PM on July 21, 2022 [16 favorites]


There's also a gelatinous cube.

I didn't realize this about myself until just now, but apparently my response to seeing a trailer with a gelatinous cube is to think, "yeah, sure, I'll watch that."
posted by meese at 1:59 PM on July 21, 2022 [31 favorites]


It looks like they're playing it for scenery chewing, which you know, is what D&D is all about. The only question is whether it's good chewing or bad chewing. The cast could pull off something pretty good if the material is there, but if the writing is shit, it's going to be really, really shit.
posted by seanmpuckett at 1:59 PM on July 21, 2022 [4 favorites]


There is a lot of Monster Manual fan service in that trailer.
posted by fings at 2:00 PM on July 21, 2022 [11 favorites]


Owlbear is at 1:12 for anyone like me who didn't really want to sit through the rest of it. There's also a mimic, displacer beast, and owlbear again in short succession starting at around 1:42. None of them look very good but what can I say, I like monsters.

Chris Pine is giving me very "face that knows about text messaging" vibes here but I don't think it's his face that's the problem—his hair knows about text messaging.
posted by babelfish at 2:00 PM on July 21, 2022 [25 favorites]


+1 for Owl Bear
+10 for gelatinous cube
- 100 for Led Zeppelin
(and I like Zep, just, c'mon...)
posted by djseafood at 2:01 PM on July 21, 2022 [10 favorites]


If they'd just made a fantasy heist movie with a D&D vibe and called it Honor Among Thieves instead of hitting everything with a +4 Hammer of Branding, I'd feel a lot more comfortable rooting for this. It looks passably fun though, and seems to be treating the whole thing with the right amount of seriousness.

I suspect the heavy reliance on CGI, quippy self-referential humor, and anachronistic music is gonna date it HELLA hard to the Marvel era of genre movies. That's not good or bad I guess. Just a thing.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 2:02 PM on July 21, 2022 [8 favorites]


It's by the writing team that brought you Spider Man: Homecoming - I recall that not being too terrible. And it has a sense of humor that seems to acknowledge that the crossover between D&D setting and over the top but still deft Thor: Ragnarok style fan service doesn't have to feel cynical.

The monster manual checklisting does feel a bit much, but I giggled a bit at some dialogue. If I can catch it in a theater next year I'll probably watch it.
posted by abulafa at 2:04 PM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]


Also Owlbears are not a candidate for the Druid's Wildshape ability because they are "Magical Beasts" and not regular animals. This has been a public service announcement from an absolutely insufferable nerd.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 2:06 PM on July 21, 2022 [96 favorites]


Oh those CG monsters look terrific. But hear me out. Imagine this exact same movie, with exactly the same special effects, except instead of CG monsters they used Clash-of-the-Titans-era Harryhausen animation. With of course at least one scene in an undead crypt that's a The 7th Voyage of Sinbad homage. Perhaps Phil Tippett is looking for a new gig?
posted by Nelson at 2:07 PM on July 21, 2022 [13 favorites]


... Sophia Lillis looks exactly like Nimona. How is that possible? Nimona is a loosely drawn comic book character. And yet here we are, me desperately wanting to see a live-action Nimona movie with her starring in it.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:08 PM on July 21, 2022 [11 favorites]


Also Owlbears are not a candidate for the Druid's Wildshape ability because they are "Magical Beasts" and not regular animals. This has been a public service announcement from an absolutely insufferable nerd.

Had the same thought, but quickly realized there will be a druid subclass with that ability rolled out by the time the movie drops.
posted by nubs at 2:11 PM on July 21, 2022 [17 favorites]


The fun of D&D is playing D&D, not watching D&D. Of course, I guess millions of Critical Role fans have proven me wrong on that....The only media that gets D&D right is when they show people actually playing D&D

Critical Role is literally media of people playing D&D
posted by nubs at 2:13 PM on July 21, 2022 [3 favorites]


Production values, CGI, actors...all look good. Whether it's a fun ride or a disjointed mess, time will tell. The American accents in a medieval setting really bugs me, though. I guess that was done on purpose, maybe? Hugh Grant is in there, probably as an evil bad guy, so there's at least one guaranteed evil British accent.
posted by zardoz at 2:29 PM on July 21, 2022 [5 favorites]


This looks stupid. And fun. And I think that's just what I want from a D&D movie. It's all going to come down to whether the jokes are good.
posted by team lowkey at 2:30 PM on July 21, 2022 [11 favorites]


This is perhaps the least terrible D&D movie trailer I have ever seen.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 2:34 PM on July 21, 2022 [10 favorites]


Have I said this before here? probably. I won't be satisfied until there is a live action D&D movie that starts with the line, "Hey! Look! The Dungeons and Dragons Ride!"
posted by Horkus at 2:36 PM on July 21, 2022 [34 favorites]


I was hoping for a gentle tone poem about a magic user trying to build his spell components for Leomund's Secret Chest in a bucolic village full of quirky craftspeople.
posted by credulous at 2:38 PM on July 21, 2022 [19 favorites]


It's one of the good Chris's though. And it has that hot Bridgerton guy.

I suspect it's the one I think it is, but you have to admit that there is a wide selection to choose from.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 2:41 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


I... uh... don't know why this exists when Zombie Orpheus is working on season 4 of Journey Quest already....
posted by straw at 2:42 PM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]


The American accents in a medieval setting really bugs me, though.

You were expecting French?
posted by pwnguin at 2:44 PM on July 21, 2022 [5 favorites]


For gelatinous cube fans put off by the boom-boom-boom at the start and the Zeppelin, one appears fleetingly @1:45.

It looks more like an ice cube.
posted by ryanshepard at 2:46 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


Definitely seems to have the bases covered, although even after rewatch I still couldn't spot Uni.
posted by Metro Gnome at 2:46 PM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]


- 100 for Led Zeppelin
(and I like Zep, just, c'mon...)


Well, they are probably the rock band most affiliated with Tolkien. Why that song in particular, IDK.
posted by pwnguin at 2:50 PM on July 21, 2022 [3 favorites]


I... uh... don't know why this exists when Zombie Orpheus is working on season 4 of Journey Quest already....

I only recognize that name because I spent a while trying to figure out what characters the ZoeCon Buttonmen set was referring to, over on Buttonweavers.
posted by tavella at 2:55 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


I’d only watch a Dungeons & Dragons movie if it were filmed like Drunk History: real actors in costume, but all of them lip-syncing the audio from an actual tabletop game played by real and slightly over-enthusiastic tabletop gamers.

The best part would be every single combat, because the actors would have lots of dead air to fill while the players e.g try to find the lost d8 under the table, or reread all their spell descriptions or whatever
posted by ook at 3:07 PM on July 21, 2022 [24 favorites]


If I see this in the theaters (and that's a big if) I'm bringing my rulebooks and a headlamp.
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 3:08 PM on July 21, 2022 [3 favorites]


i'm not sure what i just watched
posted by Kitteh at 3:09 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


Did I count 5 humans and one halfling in the party? Enough with the Variant Human rules, just give each race a Feat at level 1.
posted by Metro Gnome at 3:10 PM on July 21, 2022 [4 favorites]


I have now seen the trailer and it was exactly the hot Bridgerton guy that I thought it was.

This movie also looks incredibly stupid in the best possible way.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 3:12 PM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]


People are gonna be real disappointed when the first movie is just a bunch of actors rolling up characters.
posted by Etrigan at 3:24 PM on July 21, 2022 [28 favorites]


My expectations were (and remain) low, but if that's a Red Wizard of Thay, at least somebody did some reading.
posted by penduluum at 3:27 PM on July 21, 2022 [3 favorites]


I figure that if Chris Pine and Michelle Rodriguez look like they're having fun, I'll probably have fun too.

You were expecting French?

PHLANESE!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 3:36 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


We're gonna fix it!

But how do we pull that off?

We'll figure it out.

Figure it out over a drink?

Probably best.


It may be good and stupid. Like most ADnD I've played. Or is it just DnD again?
posted by Max Power at 3:42 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


It never stops being weird to me that all those fantasy and science fiction films are partly shot in locations in Iceland where I used to play as a kid, where I used to pretend I was a sorcerer or Jedi knight or whatever.
posted by Kattullus at 3:42 PM on July 21, 2022 [20 favorites]


I’ve been to Iceland. Doesn’t seem weird to me at all.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 3:51 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


I think this looks like a hoot combined with whatever sound a bear makes.
posted by Wobbuffet at 4:02 PM on July 21, 2022 [30 favorites]


The Top of the Pops theme tune!
posted by biffa at 4:03 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


I was ambivalent until the last joke, and now I am solidly on bard board.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:08 PM on July 21, 2022 [5 favorites]


woof.
posted by bxvr at 4:15 PM on July 21, 2022


You were expecting French?

No, just...not American. Since America didn't exist during the time (yes, yes, I know it's a fantasy and doesn't really apply. But still.) I'll answer British. It's a given that it's an English-language film, so what better way to portray medieval times than a British accent?
posted by zardoz at 4:19 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


A week ago I would have snarked like heck about watching people play D&D but in the interim, for reasons I cannot articulate, I started watching Brennan Lee Mulligan doing Fantasy High (first season is free on YouTube) and... it's kind of compelling to watch people kinda-sorta play D&D. It's also (I signed up for their stupid streaming service and paid them actual money because I wanted to see the second half of the second season) compelling to watch them do it live-ish with fewer props and more Theater of the Mind. Hoot-growl, Hoot-growl. Magic is real and so is my frog. TBH, I was on board before the talking eldritch motorcycle but that sealed the deal.
posted by which_chick at 4:27 PM on July 21, 2022 [7 favorites]


It's a given that it's an English-language film, so what better way to portray medieval times than a British accent?

English with pre-great-vowel-shift pronunciation and the audience can just go to hell if they don't get it
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:34 PM on July 21, 2022 [29 favorites]


-- “If there’s a game that should be played in every high school, it’s D&D,” Pine explained. “You can get the bully and the jock in a room, and I guarantee you in 20 minutes, they won’t remember what kind of class thy came from or who their best friends are or who the dork is. They just want to play and have a laugh.”

He added on a personal note, “We got my whole family to play….it was amazing thing to see my family light up.” -- Indiewire.
posted by mrgrimm at 4:36 PM on July 21, 2022 [7 favorites]


portray medieval times

It's not portraying "medieval times" though. It's a fantasy world with the same technological level of late-medieval Europe. Pushing for more diversity in gaming has driven the "it's the olden days" thinking out and made "it's mad fantastical shit" the current mode. Hiding behind "women didn't fight, rape and pillage was how wars were fought" was some seriously fucked up gatekeeping and harassment.
posted by fiercekitten at 4:36 PM on July 21, 2022 [27 favorites]


This is perhaps the least terrible D&D movie trailer I have ever seen.

It will almost certainly not be the worst D&D movie.

I hope for full-on D&Dness, one of the protagonists dies during the narrative and is replaced by another character played by the same actor.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:39 PM on July 21, 2022 [41 favorites]


"Snaaaaaiiiiils!"
posted by cheshyre at 4:40 PM on July 21, 2022 [3 favorites]


I was stating that they only needed a beholder to hit all the iconic d&d monsters and my wife had a prediction: it'll appear in the post credits scene. As will Vin Diesel. (I'm kind of shocked that he isn't in this, actually.)

Does it look stupid? God yes. But then again, every D&D campaign I've been in and most other D&D media I've consumed has had its stupid bits, if not been entirely stupid. (even Baldur's Gate 2 has its moments)
posted by Hactar at 4:55 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


It's a given that it's an English-language film, so what better way to portray medieval times than a British accent?

British accents aren't any "older" than American accents. There's no real reason to use some sort of British accent for a medieval setting other than that it's the way people have done it before and it's what people are used to.

Honestly, I think breaking away from that kind of shorthand can be refreshing. Now, it would be hilarious if they actually filmed the entire thing in Old English... but that is perhaps not practical.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:03 PM on July 21, 2022 [11 favorites]




> Early medieval “English accent”

turns out the text he's reading is just the verses of "Straight Outta Compton"
posted by glonous keming at 5:11 PM on July 21, 2022


It just won’t be the same without Jeremy Irons hamming it up to pay for his castle and having no clue about what he was doing.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 5:24 PM on July 21, 2022


Faugh! Get off my lawn you kids. My style reference for what feels like a “Dungeons and Dragons” show or movie is the cartoon from the 80’s.
posted by eviemath at 5:45 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


Han Solo didn't have an English accent.
posted by clavdivs at 5:46 PM on July 21, 2022 [3 favorites]


Better to have Chris Prine than Chris Pratt
posted by Ber at 6:19 PM on July 21, 2022


That was shockingly better than I expected/feared. I may actually watch this. I honestly really enjoy Chris Pine, and I think the less serious tone is a good call. Fingers crossed!
posted by dellsolace at 6:25 PM on July 21, 2022 [4 favorites]


what if there was an ongoing series of [A]D&D films, where each film tries to be the quintessential essence of its corresponding rules edition. First film is 1e, 2nd film is 2e etc.
posted by glonous keming at 6:31 PM on July 21, 2022 [5 favorites]


I was stating that they only needed a beholder to hit all the iconic d&d monsters and my wife had a prediction: it'll appear in the post credits scene.

With Matt Berry as the voice of The Beholder. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, darling."
posted by ActingTheGoat at 6:48 PM on July 21, 2022 [8 favorites]


There is a finite amount of beer that will make this watchable for me. Large, but finite.
posted by sourcequench at 6:48 PM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]


It looks cheesy as hell and I am all over this action. If anyone else in driving distance wants to do a group viewing I would be so into it.

I have a very, very soft spot for cheesy sci-fi and fantasy.
posted by liminal_shadows at 6:49 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


what if there was an ongoing series of [A]D&D films, where each film tries to be the quintessential essence of its corresponding rules edition. First film is 1e, 2nd film is 2e etc.

Two hours of thac0 calculations await!
posted by kaibutsu at 6:55 PM on July 21, 2022 [7 favorites]


Also Owlbears are not a candidate for the Druid's Wildshape ability because they are "Magical Beasts" and not regular animals. This has been a public service announcement from an absolutely insufferable nerd.

What, you don't think she's an Epic Level Druid who took the Magical Beast Wild Shape feat?

I'm not sold on this trailer. Could be fun, but just because the cast is having fun doesn't mean the writing will be able to sustain it. (See also: Ocean's 12.) And it's also possible to be too silly. Or to just incoherently veer from ridiculously silly to deadly serious, like the 2000 D&D movie did. But this trailer sure looks better than that one. Or this one. Or this one.
posted by mstokes650 at 7:05 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


Now's a good enough time to plug the Mythica film series -- 5 films based on the creator's D&D campaign, featuring Matt Mercer as an actual necromancer in the 3rd one. They're better than you expect them to be, but still bad enough that they're enjoyable B-movies.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 7:59 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


Ok I came in absolutely expecting to hate this but I’m totally sold.
posted by aspersioncast at 8:14 PM on July 21, 2022


Perhaps Phil Tippett is looking for a new gig?

I dunno, the last time they hired Phil to supervise some creatures it got pretty... murdery.

YOU HAD ONE JOB PHIL
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:23 PM on July 21, 2022 [4 favorites]


and
Warnes Starcoat as himself.
posted by clavdivs at 8:29 PM on July 21, 2022


I hate Zepplin. HATE! Still looks fun. I hope it is. As to Mythica, Kevin Sorbo, so no.
posted by evilDoug at 9:02 PM on July 21, 2022 [3 favorites]


I'm glad that Sophie Lillis has something fun to do since Netflix wimped out on I Am Not Okay With This, aka Carrie But She Doesn't Die.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:23 PM on July 21, 2022


"Didja check encumbrance?"

"Oh yeah." [shifts backpack] "I checked the hell outa that encumbrance."
posted by credulous at 9:29 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


They'd be speaking Chondathan/Common. This is set in Waterdeep, Neverwinter and the Ten Towns from the looks of things. Likely some undercommon in there too.
posted by bonehead at 9:30 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


First film is 1e, 2nd film is 2e etc.

First one in Greyhawk, then Greyhawk again, then Ferun, then Nentir Vale, then Ferun again and Nentir Vale never happened. There would have been a prequel in Blackmoor, but the copyrights are complicated.
posted by bonehead at 9:35 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


I’d only watch a Dungeons & Dragons movie if it were filmed like Drunk History: real actors in costume, but all of them lip-syncing the audio from an actual tabletop game played by real and slightly over-enthusiastic tabletop gamers.

You're looking for The Gamers or maybe The Gamers: Dorkness Rising.

I mean, you're not. You're not looking for them. Nobody is or should ever be looking for them. But they do...exist.
posted by straight at 9:59 PM on July 21, 2022 [5 favorites]


You know nothing, Chris Pine.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 10:02 PM on July 21, 2022


the Owlbear, a dragon

Two different kinds of dragon. The one flying over the battle and Breathing was a Black Dragon.
posted by deadgar at 10:12 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]


D&D is far more 1970s American / Renaissance Fair than anything European or medieval - American accents are absolutely 100% appropriate. British accents for villains and non-humans though, of course.
posted by BinaryApe at 10:42 PM on July 21, 2022 [17 favorites]


I think this is a great idea. Because one of the things fantasy fiction desperately needs is rules.

In almost every fantasy movie, you'll have some crazy-looking creature attack. What can it do? Whatever arbitrary thing the director wants. Two wizards will have a magic fight. Who wins? The one that frowns and grunts the hardest. They might as well just be wrestling or playing tug-of-war with a glowing CG rope (I'm looking at you The Lord of the Rings, and yes, you Harry Potter, and especially you, Doctor Strange).

Making a movie based explicitly on D&D gives the filmmakers at least a start on drawing deliberate and legible lines around what things are and what they can do. Will they ignore the rules and have the druid turn into an owlbear because it looks cool? Yes. But the fact that we can even talk about that shows we have much more solid ideas about what a druid is and what an owlbear is than would be typical when watching a fantasy movie trailer.

And I'm not just talking about being faithful to source material here. Because that just pushes the question back to whether the source material had any rules. Yes, the filmmakers here will probably frequently ignore the rules. But that's different from not having any rules at all.
posted by straight at 10:43 PM on July 21, 2022 [10 favorites]


It was surprising to realize that I've seen lots of fantasy movies, but I've never seen an actual owlbear or a mimic or a gelatinous cube. I don't think that's just fan service. There's something qualitatively different about seeing a monster and thinking, "I know what that is. I have some idea what it might do and why they should be afraid of it."
posted by straight at 10:50 PM on July 21, 2022 [9 favorites]


Two different kinds of dragon. The one flying over the battle and Breathing was a Black Dragon.

Three, I think, unless the thing at 1:25 is technically an animated statue or something.
posted by The Tensor at 11:52 PM on July 21, 2022


I am super whelmed by this, and will stream the hell out of it whenever it becomes available. I generally like the tone. I like all the actors and the jokes land. Let's have fun! DnD is fun. Led Zeppelin is fun! And they're a bunch of dorks.

The unconscious expectations around British accents in old-timey stuff has always bugged the hell out of me. One of my favourite things about the extremely unknown film Beowulf and Grendel (2005) is that Sarah Polley, who plays a mysterious witch, just speaks with her natural Toronto accent. Because she's a super mysterious witch from mystery land! It's awesome.

Edit: Turns out the entire movie's on youtube. Here's a scene with Sarah Polley.
posted by Alex404 at 12:28 AM on July 22, 2022 [4 favorites]


THAC0 is one thing, but the Weapon vs. Armor Type table cannot be denied.
posted by away for regrooving at 12:37 AM on July 22, 2022 [6 favorites]


For any kind of serious-ish movie, my head knows that it's fantasy, so the accents could be just anything, but then my heart says "making the wizard sound like he's from Nebraska absolutely destroys any possible chance there was of suspending disbelief."

Luckily, this looks like a dumb (not necessarily in a bad way, that will have to be seen) movie, where my heart thinking "that's dumb" doesn't cause a problem. But for anything even slightly more serious, I know I shouldn't dislike American accents, but I do anyway.
posted by Bugbread at 1:48 AM on July 22, 2022


I don't care what any of you think, my 12yo's first D&D character was a Tiefling druid and I have never seen her more hyped for anything in her entire life, and that makes me unreasonably happy. We will watch this as a family, possibly on repeat, and we will eat a lot of popcorn to drown out the humphing from my wife the screenwriter.
posted by Hogshead at 2:58 AM on July 22, 2022 [23 favorites]


D&D is far more 1970s American / Renaissance Fair than anything European or medieval - American accents are absolutely 100% appropriate. British accents for villains and non-humans though, of course.

s/British/an American teenager's idea of British/
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 3:37 AM on July 22, 2022 [7 favorites]


Not enough dungeons. The way I remember the game - very slight relationship - is essentially wandering around in a large basement trying to negotiate with fate. Too much like real life.

When did I get a voice in my head that says "Oh, good, it's Hugh Grant!"? That never used to happen. He's a lot more fun now he's old.

Is this what happens when a studio attempts to reverse engineer Thor: Ragnarok? That might be based on the Led Zeppelin. Although, isn't it extraordinary how good Led Zeppelin sound given those tracks are over fifty years old?

But, you know, kinetic, jokes, Hugh Grant, gelatinous cube. I'll probably enjoy it thoroughly when it turns up on streaming.
posted by Grangousier at 3:55 AM on July 22, 2022 [2 favorites]


Not being well versed in classic rock, I thought the music was Aerosmith or some soundalike beer-commercial rock.

The music is probably better for such a movie than the sort of misty Celtic-flute Arthurian madrigal ren-faire stuff commonly associated with the Mediaeval High Fantasy genre, grounding the film emotionally not in the dragon-rich kingdoms of a mythical past but in wood-panelled suburban game rooms where D&D players actually went on their adventures. In other words, it's more Stranger Things than Game Of Thrones.
posted by acb at 4:35 AM on July 22, 2022 [1 favorite]


Look, if you want a high-fantasy D&D movie that's over the top and breaks all expectations, allows the audience to escape and immerse in the fantasy, all you need is a movie about a group of 5 adults that can carve out 4 hours at the same time each week. Show the DM calling up 4 friends who can all agree on a schedule and actually show up.

Probably too far-fetched for modern cinema though.
posted by mrgoat at 4:48 AM on July 22, 2022 [22 favorites]


I had a vague memory that I company I worked for a couple of decades ago put out some kind of D&D movie. Turns out it was this.
posted by clawsoon at 4:50 AM on July 22, 2022


My theory is that this is going to pull a Lego Movie. (Spoiler? It's going to pull back, and they'll be a bunch of people actually playing at a table. Because that's what's good about D&D- it's a group, telling a story together)

I was very meh pre-trailer, meh when I saw the character ad from SDCC (Hugh Grant?! How is that Hugh Grant?)- but the trailer has given me a slice of hope, because it feels like D&D- "He also plays the lute." - but we'll see how it actually goes.
posted by Torosaurus at 6:13 AM on July 22, 2022


…all you need is a movie about a group of 5 adults that can carve out 4 hours at the same time each week.

“My Campaign with Andre”?
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 6:18 AM on July 22, 2022 [12 favorites]


I don't necessarily want a visible appearance by the notional "players" of this story, but I do very much hope that the goofy tone that's being struck by the trailer is a sign that the film is aiming to be a faithful adaptation in this specific sense: that a player of the TTRPG can go in, watch the movie, and come out able to imagine the events of the story as having occurred in an actual game. Maybe it reminds them of actual games they've been in. If they can do that and make something that's entertaining for everybody else, I think that's the benchmark for success here.
posted by Ipsifendus at 6:35 AM on July 22, 2022 [8 favorites]


drown out the humphing from my wife the screenwriter.

I initially misread this and was really impressed with your wife's enthusiasm for D&D. :)

also, my teenage sons, who seem to have outgrown our D&D campaign saw this and are now interested again. So I'm happy this exists. Looks like a lot of fun and will spur yet another surge of interest in the game.
posted by martin q blank at 7:05 AM on July 22, 2022 [1 favorite]


There's probably room for a fun but meta film where what we're seeing is the visualisation of a story that's being told (a la Princess Bride), although obviously it's a story that's trying to unfold in five directions at once, with a central narrator trying to herd it back to coherence, so the story keeps changing. Probably not as fun for someone who plays the game as an actual game, but perhaps more engaging for people who don't. So alienating the target audience while providing for the people who aren't going to watch it anyway. I knew there was a reason they didn't let me write films.
posted by Grangousier at 7:16 AM on July 22, 2022


Prediction: if this movie is a runaway success, it's going to start a chain reaction of events that culminates with Disney buying WotC so they can have the Avengers fighting owlbears, and Count Dooku will be the BBEG in the D&D sequel.
posted by Mayor West at 7:33 AM on July 22, 2022 [4 favorites]


. . . instead of CG monsters they used Clash-of-the-Titans-era Harryhausen animation. . . Perhaps Phil Tippett is looking for a new gig?


Um, he's not? Because he just finished making that movie you described only way, way weirder and it's only on Shudder and it's . . . we'll it's really something.
posted by The Bellman at 7:55 AM on July 22, 2022 [4 favorites]


My Campaign with Andre”?

I will pay cash money to watch Wallace Shaun DM.
posted by phooky at 8:05 AM on July 22, 2022 [12 favorites]


My theory is that this is going to pull a Lego Movie. (Spoiler? It's going to pull back, and they'll be a bunch of people actually playing at a table. Because that's what's good about D&D- it's a group, telling a story together)

They should save that for the Bunkers and Badasses movie.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 8:20 AM on July 22, 2022 [3 favorites]


First one in Greyhawk, then Greyhawk again, then Ferun, then Nentir Vale, then Ferun again and Nentir Vale never happened.

First one in Mystara. The movie is so full of offensive ethnic stereotypes that the whole series gets cancelled before any others can be made.

Also Owlbears are not a candidate for the Druid's Wildshape ability because they are "Magical Beasts" and not regular animals.

WotC actually did one of their surveys a while back that included questions about the movie. It included a question asking how much not following the rules exactly would affect views of the movie. They specifically used a druid turning into an owlbear as an example. So they knew.
posted by charred husk at 8:35 AM on July 22, 2022 [7 favorites]


It's no Mazes and Monsters, but I'll give it a try.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:11 AM on July 22, 2022 [4 favorites]


There's probably room for a fun but meta film where what we're seeing is the visualisation of a story that's being told (a la Princess Bride), although obviously it's a story that's trying to unfold in five directions at once, with a central narrator trying to herd it back to coherence, so the story keeps changing. Probably not as fun for someone who plays the game

Oh, I don't know. There are so many in jokes that you could do here that the game players would love.

The rules mistakes that lead to near-instant retcons when detected, the embarrassed "Oh I just checked my character sheet and I do have that Orb of Dragonkind we found in chapter two, sorry everyone," after the dragon has eaten half the party, the dramatic inspiring battle speech that is followed by rolling a natural 1 on the diplomacy check.
posted by mark k at 9:43 AM on July 22, 2022


a lot of comments devolve to "nope" or "hell yeah"

I'm surprised to say Hell Yeah, I will def. make a plan to watch this with my sister. A part of me hates that the trailer is so effective in pushing certain buttons, but who am I to lie? This looks like a romp, a terrible movie to enjoy with a sister who played through many a campaign.

Now, when does someone come out with a bang-up Paranoia film? The time is ripe to get our last laughs as it all crashes around us.. the time is ripe to see some First Church of Christ Computer Programmer antics.. "The Computer is Your Friend!"
posted by elkevelvet at 9:54 AM on July 22, 2022 [5 favorites]


A few things:
  • This looks better than anything other than maybe the Dragonlance animated movie with Kiefer Sutherland (a guilty pleasure)
  • It would be great if there was a cameo from Oxventure, even just a throwaway line from Chris Pine's character about a fellow bard with a penchant for liquidating assets
  • This seems like as good a time as any with Stranger Things and etc having brought D&D a little more into the mainstream, recently
  • I would have preferred a direct adaptation of one of the decent FR stories like maybe Erevis Cale or Brimstone Angels or the Azure Bonds series if you want to be hilariously weird and probably drive people away
  • I'm still pretty excited to see this
Generally, I think this is a net positive and I don't really have the energy to look for reasons to ruin it for myself.
posted by Godspeed.You!Black.Emperor.Penguin at 10:15 AM on July 22, 2022 [1 favorite]


A couple of my wizard players were from the Southern US. In my head canon, magic users now have accents from somewhere in Louisiana or Arkansas. Like the trailer, it works well if you let it.
posted by SunSnork at 10:27 AM on July 22, 2022 [6 favorites]


I was stating that they only needed a beholder to hit all the iconic d&d monsters and my wife had a prediction: it'll appear in the post credits scene. As will Vin Diesel. (I'm kind of shocked that he isn't in this, actually.)--posted by Hactar

Me too, considering how much Vin Diesel is known to be a big D&D fan. Some people say his Riddick series of movies is his D&D type creative outlet.
posted by eye of newt at 10:33 AM on July 22, 2022 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: it works well if you let it
posted by elkevelvet at 10:35 AM on July 22, 2022 [3 favorites]


D&D a little more into the mainstream, recently

D&D is easily more popular and more mainstream now than it has ever been before. My high-school aged child's friend started a D&D club at their school a few years back, and at most meetings they have 6 or 7 games going because so many people show up.
posted by Ipsifendus at 10:43 AM on July 22, 2022 [5 favorites]


Some people say his Riddick series of movies is his D&D type creative outlet.

Supposedly his character in The Last Witch Hunter is based on a character he actually plays.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 10:43 AM on July 22, 2022 [1 favorite]


I don't care what any of you think, my 12yo's first D&D character was a Tiefling druid and I have never seen her more hyped for anything in her entire life

It wasn't her first character, buy my 12-year-old who played a Tiefling druid was similarly stoked, including gasping all the way through and saying things like, "A gelatinous cube! A displacer beast! HEY THAT'S A MIMIC!!!"
posted by The Tensor at 1:15 PM on July 22, 2022 [3 favorites]


That black dragon flyover is really something. The acid is so heavy and liquid and, uh, vomity. Seeing a dragon breath weapon that isn’t fire with no dumbed down explanation right there in the trailer demonstrates at least some amount of trust in the audience.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 1:32 PM on July 22, 2022 [8 favorites]


Some people say his Riddick series of movies is his D&D type creative outlet.

Oh so that's what happened. Between the first and second Riddick movies, the DM bought a bunch of supplements and a new module and said to his party, "Hey let's try a game that's more high fantasy with space wizards and cosmic elementals."

"Can we keep the same characters?"

"Uh...sure. But it turns out your character is actually a Furyan ..."
posted by straight at 2:00 PM on July 22, 2022 [3 favorites]


Chuck Tingle on Twitter: "chuck would like to say that dang druid wildshaping into owlbear in dungeons and dragons trailer (even though it is monstrosity not beast) is NOT actually against the rules. buds are forgetting most important game rule above all: RULE OF COOL. off camera dm has nodded in approval"
posted by Pronoiac at 2:06 PM on July 22, 2022 [20 favorites]


Um, he's not? Because he just finished making that movie you described yt only way, way weirder and it's only on Shudder and it's . . . we'll it's really something.

How did I not know about this? Thank you, you just made my Friday Night marooned in a Residence Inn somewhere in Maryland!

Now, when does someone come out with a bang-up Paranoia film? The time is ripe to get our last laughs as it all crashes around us.. the time is ripe to see some First Church of Christ Computer Programmer antics.. "The Computer is Your Friend!"

I think Nolan's "Person of Interest" covered that ground well enough.
posted by mikelieman at 2:49 PM on July 22, 2022 [2 favorites]


Thieves World
posted by clavdivs at 2:51 PM on July 22, 2022


Ive learned from Gretel+Hansel (from the director of The Blackcoats Daughter) and recently watching It that I think Sophia Lillis is a great actress and loving fantasy schlock means ill check this out, but I really hope she gets some roles in the future that aren't quite such... pulp.

Seconding Zombie Orpheus and their Gamers / Journeyquest if you need loving nerd content.
posted by lkc at 4:11 PM on July 22, 2022 [1 favorite]


As a fan of Dragon Friends, my assumption is everybody in “D&D times” has an Australian accent. Occasionally NZ, if Guy Montgomery is in town.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:38 PM on July 22, 2022 [1 favorite]


Speaking of NZ, I'm hoping there will be a character that keeps talking about how it's a nice day for fishing
posted by destrius at 8:46 PM on July 22, 2022 [1 favorite]


- 100 for Led Zeppelin

My understanding of this is likely obsolete, but I'll wager $100 that no Led Zeppelin songs are used in the movie. The music used in trailers has almost no relationship to the music used in the movie.
posted by neuron at 8:53 PM on July 22, 2022


D&D is far more 1970s American / Renaissance Fair than anything European or medieval - American accents are absolutely 100% appropriate. British accents for villains and non-humans though, of course.
The thing to keep in mind about the Forgotten Realms timeline is that recorded civilized history is over 35000 years of Dale Reckoning. Ancient Babylon emerged in 2000 BC. D&D societies are essentially the equivalent of living in 30000 AD Frank Hebert Dune level far future except magic was discovered instead of steam power and gunpowder. Instead of lasers we have magic missiles. Instead of intergalactic space travel we have gates and portals and periodic demonic invasions. Instead of Paul Atreides as an immortal sandworm you have mortals like Bane who have forged pacts with other gods to ascend as a deity.

D&D high fantasy is *not* medieval. It is future technology working with a different framework for physics, biology, and chemistry
posted by bl1nk at 8:50 AM on July 23, 2022 [6 favorites]


disclaimer: I know that the intent of D&D high fantasy is to be medieval, but this pivot to think of it as "advanced futuristic technology by another means" is the only way I can reconcile how most mid/high level D&D campaigns eventually devolve into an experience where magic is so ubiquitous that it's treated like a utility, and as your characters acquire more and more gold and their only option for growth/power is to convert that gold into more special magic items, you're eventually spending more and more time shopping at the local equivalent of Magickal Best Buy.

One reason why I've enjoyed Eberron over all of the other fantasy settings is that it actually tries to be thoughtful about what a magic rich society would actually look like, instead of these weirdly long lived but also weirdly static timelines that pretend to be medieval except that they've been fighting the same wars with the same full plated soldiers and fireball casting wizards for multiple millenia.
posted by bl1nk at 9:12 AM on July 23, 2022 [4 favorites]


meh. looks meh.
I hope they make ten of them and I'll watch every single one.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 10:33 AM on July 23, 2022 [4 favorites]


My understanding of this is likely obsolete, but I'll wager $100 that no Led Zeppelin songs are used in the movie. The music used in trailers has almost no relationship to the music used in the movie.

On the other hand, the trailer for Thor: Love and Thunder had a Guns & Roses song, but the actual movie had four Guns & Roses songs.
posted by straight at 2:24 PM on July 23, 2022 [4 favorites]


Pretty cool with the retro 1st edition vibe with the dual classed Druid/Wizard casting Polymorph Self into an Owlbear.
posted by lowtide at 5:44 AM on July 24, 2022 [1 favorite]


D&D high fantasy is *not* medieval. It is future technology working with a different framework for physics, biology, and chemistry

At the risk of slightly spoiling it a bit simply by mentioning it, I highly recommend Gene Wolfe's Book of the New Sun... (The first two books are these days usually sold together in a single volume called 'Shadow and Claw.')
posted by kaibutsu at 6:54 AM on July 24, 2022 [3 favorites]


I think Nolan's "Person of Interest" covered that ground well enough.

this is not the greatest recommendation of all time
posted by elkevelvet at 9:29 AM on July 24, 2022


Looked like a fun movie, will reserve judgement until I am in the proper ratio of alcohols and smokables and get to watch the whole movie on whatever streamer. I have people that was in my first D&D campaign from junior high and high school in the 80s that I can count on to keep me strutting when my feet hang low.
posted by oldnumberseven at 9:32 PM on July 24, 2022


D&D high fantasy is *not* medieval. It is future technology working with a different framework for physics, biology, and chemistry

I thought the closest fit in plausible timelines was a hypothetical long-lost civilisation of warriors and magic users, à la Conan The Barbarian or something. That and/or Tolkien with the serial numbers filed off.
posted by acb at 3:11 AM on July 25, 2022 [2 favorites]


D&D societies are essentially the equivalent of living in 30000 AD Frank Hebert Dune level far future except magic was discovered instead of steam power and gunpowder. Instead of lasers we have magic missiles.

Absolutely. Part of the inspiration for original D&D was Jack Vance's The Dying Earth, which postulated a far-future, post-apocalyptic-several-times-over society in which technology and magic both existed, were barely distinguishable from one another, and much had been forgotten.(Speaking of, wizards forgot their spells when they cast them and had to re-learn them the next day.) Names like Prismatic Spray were cribbed from TDE and still exist in 5e.

The other part was Tolkien, which also postulated a long-ago magic-rich society that fell ages before. And Conan, of course, likewise, as pointed out above.
posted by Gelatin at 4:13 AM on July 25, 2022 [3 favorites]


Look, if you want a high-fantasy D&D movie that's over the top and breaks all expectations, allows the audience to escape and immerse in the fantasy, all you need is a movie about a group of 5 adults that can carve out 4 hours at the same time each week. Show the DM calling up 4 friends who can all agree on a schedule and actually show up.

This movie is actually Part One. At the end the audience has to sort out a time and date they can all come back for Part Two, and wistfully recall how much easier this was when we were in high school.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:24 PM on July 28, 2022 [7 favorites]


What, you don't think she's an Epic Level Druid who took the Magical Beast Wild Shape feat?
Nah. More like an actual owlbear who is a druid. Human is their wild shape.
posted by Mitheral at 5:57 AM on July 31, 2022 [4 favorites]


D&D societies are essentially the equivalent of living in 30000 AD Frank Hebert Dune level far future except magic was discovered instead of steam power and gunpowder. Instead of lasers we have magic missiles.

Agreed. It had never occurred to me until Brennan Lee Mulligan made it explicit in the wrap-up of Exandria Unlimited: Calamity, that Exandria (like many D&D locations) is a post-apocalyptic setting, because that's the only sensible explanation for why vast tombs of ancient artifacts exist that are beyond the grasp of characters in the current setting. It's as if archaeologists were to find a fusion reactor in the Great Pyramids, or anti-grav device under Stonehenge.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 11:27 AM on August 2, 2022 [2 favorites]


I'm running a storium game at the moment with some of my DnD group which is essentially this.
It's set on a McKendree cylinder (basically a vast rama style spaceship) that was supposed to be a colony ship, but got lost thousands of years ago.

So the gods are all AI trying to keep the ship running and the magic is all lost technology left behind.
Since the "World" is only 12,000 years old there's no carboniferous period, so no coal, and no volcanoes, so no sulphur, which means no steel, no gunpowder, no steam power. So the world remains in the iron age, except with the intervention of gods and the occasional bit of "Magic".
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 5:37 AM on August 3, 2022 [3 favorites]


ook: "I’d only watch a Dungeons & Dragons movie if it were filmed like Drunk History: real actors in costume, but all of them lip-syncing the audio from an actual tabletop game played by real and slightly over-enthusiastic tabletop gamers. "

The Adventure Zone Fan Film
posted by Rhaomi at 5:26 PM on August 19, 2022


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