oh bother
August 31, 2022 10:45 AM Subscribe
The U.S. copyright on A.A. Milne's classic children's book expired at the end of 2021. It only took eight months for Rhys Frake-Waterfield to write, produce, and direct Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey, a horror movie complete with a bikini-clad woman in a hot tub. The Disney animated version remains under copyright, so the murderous Pooh and Piglet of this story aren't quite how they're popularly remembered. But Christopher Robin is there, and Eeyore (after a fashion), and the 100 Acre Wood.
Woof. Not even with your money would I see this.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:56 AM on August 31, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:56 AM on August 31, 2022 [11 favorites]
Man, I don't know that the world needed this
posted by JDHarper at 11:03 AM on August 31, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by JDHarper at 11:03 AM on August 31, 2022 [7 favorites]
Public domain content coming in hot and sticky!
posted by Kitteh at 11:09 AM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 11:09 AM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
This is amazing. I’m absolutely not going to watch it, but I would absolutely watch one of those weird youtube movie recaps with the robot voiceovers on this for sure.
posted by mochapickle at 11:11 AM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by mochapickle at 11:11 AM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
Not really my bag, but I support anything that makes Disney and/or their worshipers sad. So in that sense, this seems well done!
posted by SaltySalticid at 11:19 AM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by SaltySalticid at 11:19 AM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
Unfortunately, copyright duration being its current length in the US means that I will not get to see WINNIE THE POOH ON THE SHARK SIDE OF THE MOON in my lifetime.
posted by delfin at 11:25 AM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by delfin at 11:25 AM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
A horror adaptation is the lowest-hanging fruit imaginable. If you're going to go genre could we at least get a rom-com? Pooh as a hard-boiled but incompetent gumshoe? "My Dinner With Piglet"?
posted by phooky at 11:27 AM on August 31, 2022 [17 favorites]
posted by phooky at 11:27 AM on August 31, 2022 [17 favorites]
If only they had cast Jeffrey Combs as Piglet.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 11:30 AM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by forbiddencabinet at 11:30 AM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
By AAAAAAAAAAA Milne??
posted by aubilenon at 11:33 AM on August 31, 2022 [15 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 11:33 AM on August 31, 2022 [15 favorites]
Ugh, EDGELORDS. "this pure thing you enjoyed as a child is now in the public domain so fuck your happiness I guess"
There's no depth to this, there's no thoughtful exploration of what happens when we abandon our imaginary friends, it's just "haha cute thing now gore" I promise this is going to be a mindless gore-and-sexfest that's just marketing on the now-public-domain name and has ZERO creative thought process behind it.
I mean yeah, they have the legal right, but it's pathetic edgelord bullshit.
posted by FritoKAL at 11:37 AM on August 31, 2022 [37 favorites]
There's no depth to this, there's no thoughtful exploration of what happens when we abandon our imaginary friends, it's just "haha cute thing now gore" I promise this is going to be a mindless gore-and-sexfest that's just marketing on the now-public-domain name and has ZERO creative thought process behind it.
I mean yeah, they have the legal right, but it's pathetic edgelord bullshit.
posted by FritoKAL at 11:37 AM on August 31, 2022 [37 favorites]
The children's-entertainment-as-ironic-horror trope should be exhausted by now, but you can still scare people with clowns and nursery songs sung slowly, so apparently the lowest common denominator still goes a little lower.
posted by sonascope at 11:38 AM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by sonascope at 11:38 AM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
Thanks, I hate it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:38 AM on August 31, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:38 AM on August 31, 2022 [12 favorites]
Also the copyright that expired wasn't Disney's, it was the original stories by A A Milne. This has nothing to do with Disney's versions, which are still under copyright, and furthermore so are most of the characters as written by A A Milne, because it's only the first book that's no longer protected.
posted by FritoKAL at 11:40 AM on August 31, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by FritoKAL at 11:40 AM on August 31, 2022 [5 favorites]
https://www.plagiarismtoday.com/2022/01/05/what-winnie-the-pooh-lapsing-into-the-public-domain-really-means/
A link for those of who you read that sort of thing.
posted by FritoKAL at 11:40 AM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
A link for those of who you read that sort of thing.
posted by FritoKAL at 11:40 AM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
I suppose I can give them some points for inventiveness. Otherwise, ewwwwwwwwwwwww.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:42 AM on August 31, 2022
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:42 AM on August 31, 2022
Disney also has Trademarks on all of the Winnie the Pooh characters and trademarks don't expire.
posted by interogative mood at 11:48 AM on August 31, 2022
posted by interogative mood at 11:48 AM on August 31, 2022
Why do people feel the need to litter the world with more of this negative stuff?
posted by Liquidwolf at 11:48 AM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Liquidwolf at 11:48 AM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
No, interogative mood, that is also not entirely correct: Another link here
posted by FritoKAL at 11:51 AM on August 31, 2022
posted by FritoKAL at 11:51 AM on August 31, 2022
Now We Are Sixty-Nine, by XXX Milne
posted by infinitewindow at 11:52 AM on August 31, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 11:52 AM on August 31, 2022 [5 favorites]
I would not be terribly surprised to find out that this was secretly funded with dark money from media companies like Disney or WB, to be trotted out in future lobbying for eternal copyrights: "See what happens to beloved icons when we lose control?"
Just because you can make something, that doesn't mean you should.
posted by microscone at 12:08 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
Just because you can make something, that doesn't mean you should.
posted by microscone at 12:08 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
I think what irks me about this is that, if you're going to turn a beloved children's classic into horror, you really need a premise more clever than "Home invasion movie where the victim is named Christopher Robin and the guys in masks are actually Winnie and the gang, hand-to-God."
Better version of the same premise, off-the-top-of-my-fucking-head: Christopher Robin grows up and has kids; his childhood friends, resenting being forgotten, insinuate themselves into his kids' lives via a forgotten book and/or toys, then prod them to do more and more aberrant things. Winnie and the gang are worn-looking puppet/stop motion things.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:13 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
Better version of the same premise, off-the-top-of-my-fucking-head: Christopher Robin grows up and has kids; his childhood friends, resenting being forgotten, insinuate themselves into his kids' lives via a forgotten book and/or toys, then prod them to do more and more aberrant things. Winnie and the gang are worn-looking puppet/stop motion things.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:13 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
Haaaaa, Piglet's tusks! OMG, hilair. I really wish there were going to be a horrorKanga in this. Somehow I suspect there is not.
Okay, yes, it will probably suck, but you can't always tell from the trailer, and what if it's totally Stoppardian!?
I mean, isn't this pretty much exactly what would happen?
If you neglect domesticated animals, they re-wild:
This is a piglet.
And this is a pig.
I agree with everybody that it is probably going to be lazy bullshit, but I am holding a tiny flame of hope that it could be an exploding of the whole "anthropomorphized animals in shirts are cute" trope. I mean, because they're not. Not really. Not at all.
Also, see above link, these things look no more like Ernest Shepard's Pooh and Piglet than they do the Disney versions. They're people wearing animal heads where both the other versions are animals wearing people clothes.
So are the filmmakers saying something like... they were always "people," because people can't imagine animal inner lives. When Christopher Robin fucked off to Oxford (and copyright expired), the head-high drifts of whimsy that made Dorothy Parker puke melted away and they were freed and the wrongness of our turning everything into offshoots of ourselves became evident. The "animals" shed their larval cuteness skins and now they are revealed in all their hideous and unnatural horror. Would that be so wrong? Why can't somebody write Now We Are 26?
Yeah, naw, because that project would be hard whereas making a paint-by-numbers "mindless gore-and-sexfest" with Pooh and Piglet monsters would be easy. But maybe!
Anyway, one bright spot: even if this movie is as idiotic and abusive as we all suspect, it's going to be better than The Tao of Pooh. This one's comment on the original is clearly "It's too sweet!" The Tao of Pooh was moreso like, "Here's some sweetness you may have failed to completely gag on, now with what scant subtlety there was in the original stripped away so that all your teeth can fall out immediately!"
posted by Don Pepino at 12:15 PM on August 31, 2022
Okay, yes, it will probably suck, but you can't always tell from the trailer, and what if it's totally Stoppardian!?
I mean, isn't this pretty much exactly what would happen?
If you neglect domesticated animals, they re-wild:
This is a piglet.
And this is a pig.
I agree with everybody that it is probably going to be lazy bullshit, but I am holding a tiny flame of hope that it could be an exploding of the whole "anthropomorphized animals in shirts are cute" trope. I mean, because they're not. Not really. Not at all.
Also, see above link, these things look no more like Ernest Shepard's Pooh and Piglet than they do the Disney versions. They're people wearing animal heads where both the other versions are animals wearing people clothes.
So are the filmmakers saying something like... they were always "people," because people can't imagine animal inner lives. When Christopher Robin fucked off to Oxford (and copyright expired), the head-high drifts of whimsy that made Dorothy Parker puke melted away and they were freed and the wrongness of our turning everything into offshoots of ourselves became evident. The "animals" shed their larval cuteness skins and now they are revealed in all their hideous and unnatural horror. Would that be so wrong? Why can't somebody write Now We Are 26?
Yeah, naw, because that project would be hard whereas making a paint-by-numbers "mindless gore-and-sexfest" with Pooh and Piglet monsters would be easy. But maybe!
Anyway, one bright spot: even if this movie is as idiotic and abusive as we all suspect, it's going to be better than The Tao of Pooh. This one's comment on the original is clearly "It's too sweet!" The Tao of Pooh was moreso like, "Here's some sweetness you may have failed to completely gag on, now with what scant subtlety there was in the original stripped away so that all your teeth can fall out immediately!"
posted by Don Pepino at 12:15 PM on August 31, 2022
My pitch: Hook, but with Winnie the Pooh. Christopher Robin has grown up to become a big venture capitalist techbro who never has any time for his kids until they disappear into the Hundred Acres Woods where they're abducted by Woozles.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 12:18 PM on August 31, 2022
posted by RonButNotStupid at 12:18 PM on August 31, 2022
Heffalumps. Are they in the movie?
posted by Don Pepino at 12:22 PM on August 31, 2022
posted by Don Pepino at 12:22 PM on August 31, 2022
Feels like a rushed film to try to cash in quick. Would be interested to see a deeper take - like a reverse Toy Story idea; Christopher goes back and finds out Winnie grew up too and sometimes your childhood friends turn into assholes (without being homicidal maniacs). How do you reconcile those great memories with the actuality, and what if part of why they turned into what they did is on you?
Anyways, maybe I'll just go re-read The Tao of Pooh but don't tell Don Pepino
posted by nubs at 12:23 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
Anyways, maybe I'll just go re-read The Tao of Pooh but don't tell Don Pepino
posted by nubs at 12:23 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
Here's a premise: the gang, abandoned in the rain and utterly bedraggled, get acquired in an ebay auction by a "haunted doll" collector. In their naivete they try to bring whimsy and wonder to their new owner's life, but inevitably are the subject of an immensely popular series of "ACTUAL HAUNTED STUFFED ANIMAL" TikToks. Eeyore, however, makes a real emotional connection.
posted by phooky at 12:33 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by phooky at 12:33 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
I am with FritoKAL generally, this is just edgelord nonsense designed to get a rise out of people. BUT--
In their words I hear an implicit argument for keeping copyright terms and law at its current super-awful level, or even extending it still further, and I am entirely against that. And if you think about it, the reason these kinds of reappropriations have the audience they have is that people have come to see copyright as something sacrosanct, so making opposite-take versions like this feels transgressive. It's true, with shorter copyright terms this stuff would happen more often, but we also wouldn't consider media properties as so sacred, and it'd eventually get relegated to a subculture and wouldn't make the news as often. (Yep, that's me, JHarris, feebly keeping the open culture torch lit even now.)
BTW, did anyone see that horror version of The Banana Splits they made a few years ago, trying to make a side buck off of the Five Nights At Freddie's hype? THAT one was all approved and legal, they even had someone draw a blood-drenched version of the logo.
nubs, careful: that way lies Ted.
posted by JHarris at 12:36 PM on August 31, 2022 [6 favorites]
In their words I hear an implicit argument for keeping copyright terms and law at its current super-awful level, or even extending it still further, and I am entirely against that. And if you think about it, the reason these kinds of reappropriations have the audience they have is that people have come to see copyright as something sacrosanct, so making opposite-take versions like this feels transgressive. It's true, with shorter copyright terms this stuff would happen more often, but we also wouldn't consider media properties as so sacred, and it'd eventually get relegated to a subculture and wouldn't make the news as often. (Yep, that's me, JHarris, feebly keeping the open culture torch lit even now.)
BTW, did anyone see that horror version of The Banana Splits they made a few years ago, trying to make a side buck off of the Five Nights At Freddie's hype? THAT one was all approved and legal, they even had someone draw a blood-drenched version of the logo.
nubs, careful: that way lies Ted.
posted by JHarris at 12:36 PM on August 31, 2022 [6 favorites]
The great thing about the public domain is all these stories can be told.
JHarris is right. The strip mining and lock out of the public domain by the reduculous lengths of terms has not only weakned art but also made the effect of some works finally being added more impactful than they otherwise would have been. The only works that are going to be used this way are the ones are the ones powerful enough to be known a century after release.
posted by Mitheral at 12:45 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
JHarris is right. The strip mining and lock out of the public domain by the reduculous lengths of terms has not only weakned art but also made the effect of some works finally being added more impactful than they otherwise would have been. The only works that are going to be used this way are the ones are the ones powerful enough to be known a century after release.
posted by Mitheral at 12:45 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
Okay, ewww. I read up on it and that movie is definitely going to be both vicious and et up with the dumb. Also Wikipedia says Disney still has the rights to Tigger? WHY? Yeeuch, Disney is so nasty. Let go of Tigger!
posted by Don Pepino at 12:46 PM on August 31, 2022
posted by Don Pepino at 12:46 PM on August 31, 2022
I've said it before and will say it again: This is outrageous. With a copyright limit of only 95 years, what incentive is there to write books? Just imagine all the wonderful children's characters that won't be created because potential authors have sat down, thought to themselves, "Sure, the royalties will accrue to me, my children, my grandchildren, and perhaps my great-grandchildren, but what about my poor great-great-grandchildren?" and then went off to mint some cryptocurrency, or whatever people are doing these days to make a buck.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:53 PM on August 31, 2022 [9 favorites]
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:53 PM on August 31, 2022 [9 favorites]
On why Tigger isn't included: It's because he wasn't in the first book, but was introduced later. Gopher wasn't even _in_ the books, and so won't enter the public domain for decades yet, but as a wholly Disney creation we don't care so much about him.
One thing that I think often gets left out about Winnie-The-Pooh is it's not exactly as sticky-sweet as some would have it. The book (and shorts) make it clear that, while Pooh and friends are cute and all, most of them have some kind of personality issue, which drive much of the conflict. Owl is obstensibly the smartest but he's a blowhard, Piglet is over-timid, Tigger has boundry issues, and Pooh, of course, is a Bear of little Brain. (Maybe it's something in the water of the Hundred Acre Wood? Are there any big chemical plants nearby?)
The two most sensible are Rabbit, who is constantly put-upon by the others, and Eeyore, who at least has a realistic outlook. Well, Kanga got exempted from the having of problems because she's a generic mother figure, but also she and her progeny Roo are the least interesting of the lot. (It's easy to forget about those two.)
posted by JHarris at 12:59 PM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
One thing that I think often gets left out about Winnie-The-Pooh is it's not exactly as sticky-sweet as some would have it. The book (and shorts) make it clear that, while Pooh and friends are cute and all, most of them have some kind of personality issue, which drive much of the conflict. Owl is obstensibly the smartest but he's a blowhard, Piglet is over-timid, Tigger has boundry issues, and Pooh, of course, is a Bear of little Brain. (Maybe it's something in the water of the Hundred Acre Wood? Are there any big chemical plants nearby?)
The two most sensible are Rabbit, who is constantly put-upon by the others, and Eeyore, who at least has a realistic outlook. Well, Kanga got exempted from the having of problems because she's a generic mother figure, but also she and her progeny Roo are the least interesting of the lot. (It's easy to forget about those two.)
posted by JHarris at 12:59 PM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
Disney still has the rights to Tigger? WHY? Yeeuch, Disney is so nasty. Let go of Tigger!
Tigger isn't in Winne the Pooh (1926); the character isn't introduced by Milne until The House on Pooh Corner (1928), which would still be under copyright. Disney has copyright over their versions of the characters for whatever ungodly amount of time they get.
posted by nubs at 12:59 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
Tigger isn't in Winne the Pooh (1926); the character isn't introduced by Milne until The House on Pooh Corner (1928), which would still be under copyright. Disney has copyright over their versions of the characters for whatever ungodly amount of time they get.
posted by nubs at 12:59 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
Winnie-the-Screwed (not porny) ad for Mint Mobile by Ryan Reynolds; deets.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:02 PM on August 31, 2022
posted by kirkaracha at 1:02 PM on August 31, 2022
"In their words I hear an implicit argument for keeping copyright terms and law at its current super-awful level, or even extending it still further, and I am entirely against that."
My DUDE. That is some... that is probably the absolute most absurd reading of what I said possible, considering I actually said "they have the legal right"
But since we're metafilter and we like reading The Worst into people, lemee make it plain:
The maker of this has the legal right to do this, there's nothing wrong with derivative works, copyright should be way way way shorter, but this particular thing is deeply deeply stupid dumb edgelord bullshit where dumb edgelords thing it's cool to poop on kid stuff.
posted by FritoKAL at 1:09 PM on August 31, 2022 [9 favorites]
My DUDE. That is some... that is probably the absolute most absurd reading of what I said possible, considering I actually said "they have the legal right"
But since we're metafilter and we like reading The Worst into people, lemee make it plain:
The maker of this has the legal right to do this, there's nothing wrong with derivative works, copyright should be way way way shorter, but this particular thing is deeply deeply stupid dumb edgelord bullshit where dumb edgelords thing it's cool to poop on kid stuff.
posted by FritoKAL at 1:09 PM on August 31, 2022 [9 favorites]
And actually in thinking about it - this existing is a great arguement for 'copyright should be shorter' because half the reason this exists is because we've had 100 acres I mean years of Waiting for Pooh and maybe if it'd only been 'lifetime of the author' the edgelords would've gotten it out of their system sooner.
posted by FritoKAL at 1:11 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by FritoKAL at 1:11 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
To be fair, well-respected comics writer Alan Moore featured Pooh and Piglet as side-experiments by Dr. Moreau in his League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
posted by SPrintF at 1:16 PM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 1:16 PM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
Having just reread these stories to my kids, I would like to assure you that Eeyore is not a sensible character. I'd always thought, mostly based on the Disney version, that Eeyore was just sarcastic and alienated. But no! Eeyore sits on his ass and dips his tail in the water to rescue Roo when he's already far downstream. Eeyore amuses himself putting a deflated balloon into a pot and taking it out again. He's pretty much the dullest of the bunch. He's gloomy and he's thick. It's a super unlikable combo! I went from "Eeyore is a beloved character" to "oh not this asshole again" in record time. Once upon a time I felt I related to Eeyore, but now I fucking hate him. There, I said it: I fucking hate Eeyore.
posted by phooky at 1:17 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by phooky at 1:17 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
You watch a lot of horror movies and a lot of horror trailers and you end up really having a gut feel for precisely how something is gonna be not-good. This is just gonna be not good. Bad production values and stunt premise means you go in hoping for creative kills and weirdly inspired scrappiness, and neither of those would necessarily show in the trailer (don't want to give away all your good bits) but their outright absence and the thudding writing doesn't have me hopeful even in my "I like cheap, stupid indie horror films" sort of way.
posted by cortex at 1:18 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by cortex at 1:18 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
Oh, man, I love that popped balloon in the pot thing... That whole story is so O. Henry! (This is what really turned me against the movie: they eat Eeyore first.)
posted by Don Pepino at 1:20 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Don Pepino at 1:20 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
Because, you know, you expect him to be even more gloomy and pissed off than he already is because Pooh ate all his birthday honey and Piglet popped his birthday balloon, but instead he's just happy because his friends remembered him on his birthday in a manner perfectly characteristic of his friends.
posted by Don Pepino at 1:24 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Don Pepino at 1:24 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
FritoKAL, I didn't intend that to be read as something you intended to say, just, it feels like it's kind of an underlying justification that goes unsaid by a lot of people. Something in the air. It was intended more a commentary on that than your statements in particular.
posted by JHarris at 1:31 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by JHarris at 1:31 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
Well, I for one, am looking forward to the forthcoming erotic thriller "Goodnight Moon" that comes when its copyright expires next year.
posted by thivaia at 1:45 PM on August 31, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by thivaia at 1:45 PM on August 31, 2022 [6 favorites]
The Eeyore's birthday story is a bit ambiguous, and to be fair it can be read as "Eeyore has immense emotional intelligence", but unfortunately I feel the rest of the stories tend to back the "Eeyore is enormously dopey" interpretation. I remain, unswayed, on Team Eat Eeyore First.
posted by phooky at 1:47 PM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by phooky at 1:47 PM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
You don't want to see how they play Poohsticks
posted by achrise at 1:55 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by achrise at 1:55 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
I realise now that our family rule "no Disney pooh in our house" means that I have no idea what the Disney pooh characters are like - I read all the originals to the kids, and really enjoyed the songs (the kids not so much I think) - I still think it was a good rule
posted by mbo at 2:02 PM on August 31, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by mbo at 2:02 PM on August 31, 2022 [6 favorites]
I for one, am looking forward to the forthcoming erotic thriller "Goodnight Moon"
The scene with the quiet old lady whispering "hush" should be interesting.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:52 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
The scene with the quiet old lady whispering "hush" should be interesting.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:52 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
Disney Pooh has some things to recommend it, I think. It's all well written and animated, and has this charming metatextual aspect where characters interact with the narrator, who even refers to their existence as characters in a book. (And Gopher even cheekily, at one point, tells the others in his whistley voice that he's difficult to contact because he's not in the book.) The chief thing that matter with it is that Disney cutesyified beyond even the original, and it's been sold to us to excess by the Profit Machine.
posted by JHarris at 2:54 PM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 2:54 PM on August 31, 2022 [3 favorites]
the forthcoming erotic thriller "Goodnight Moon"
Overdue!
posted by clew at 2:59 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
Overdue!
posted by clew at 2:59 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
Some of you may have seen the mashup Apocalypse Pooh.
posted by doctornemo at 3:05 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by doctornemo at 3:05 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
I would never watch this, I hate horror, but I'm glad this exists, because I hate copyright more.
posted by hypnogogue at 3:59 PM on August 31, 2022
posted by hypnogogue at 3:59 PM on August 31, 2022
"no Disney pooh in our house"
This was the rule in my house, too, growing up. Thus I have no idea who this "Gopher" person may be and no desire to know him. My father made up music for all the songs, so I can still remember the snows/toes one.
The more it SNOWS,
(tiddly pom)
The colder my TOES,
(tiddly pom)
The colder my TOES!
ARE!
GROWING!
That's all I remember of the words, but I've remembered more of the tune and remembered it for fifty years. It's pretty catchy.
posted by Don Pepino at 4:08 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
This was the rule in my house, too, growing up. Thus I have no idea who this "Gopher" person may be and no desire to know him. My father made up music for all the songs, so I can still remember the snows/toes one.
The more it SNOWS,
(tiddly pom)
The colder my TOES,
(tiddly pom)
The colder my TOES!
ARE!
GROWING!
That's all I remember of the words, but I've remembered more of the tune and remembered it for fifty years. It's pretty catchy.
posted by Don Pepino at 4:08 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
There's no depth to this, there's no thoughtful exploration of what happens when we abandon our imaginary friends, it's just "haha cute thing now gore" I promise this is going to be a mindless gore-and-sexfest that's just marketing on the now-public-domain name and has ZERO creative thought process behind it.
Joe Bob says; 'Check it out!'
posted by banshee at 4:19 PM on August 31, 2022
Joe Bob says; 'Check it out!'
posted by banshee at 4:19 PM on August 31, 2022
my father made up music to all the songs
Pooh's poems and songs are the worst parts of the two (otherwise excellent and even profound) books. Perhaps they're what established my own rule of just skipping paste any verse I ever encounter while reading anything.
posted by Rash at 4:31 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
Pooh's poems and songs are the worst parts of the two (otherwise excellent and even profound) books. Perhaps they're what established my own rule of just skipping paste any verse I ever encounter while reading anything.
posted by Rash at 4:31 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
He may not be physically adept, particularly when it comes to his tail, but Eeyore is nevertheless responsible for many of the more tolerable parts. Note this bit, where he becomes aware that he has lost his tail:
"Let's have a look," said Eeyore, and he turned slowly round to the place where his tail had been a little while ago, and then, finding that he couldn't catch it up, he turned round the other way, until he came back to where he was at first, and then he put his head down and looked between his front legs, and at last he said, with a long, sad sigh, "I believe you're right."
"Of course I'm right," said Pooh.
"That Accounts for a Good Deal," said Eeyore gloomily. "It Explains Everything. No Wonder."
"You must have left it somewhere," said Winnie-the-Pooh.
"Somebody must have taken it," said Eeyore. "How Like Them," he added, after a long silence. (The capitalization! Primo.)
Contrast with this piece of saccharine schlock description of Pooh's imbecile outlook on the world a moment later:
It was a fine spring morning in the forest as he started out. Little soft clouds played happily in a blue sky, skipping from time to time in front of the sun as if they had come to put it out, and then sliding away suddenly so that the next might have his turn.
(You just want a sledgehammer, reading this stuff.)
Through them and between them the sun shone bravely; and a copse which had worn its firs all the year round seemed old and dowdy now beside the new green lace which the beeches had put on so prettily.
Staaahp... But Milne never stops. He is relentless. You can see why a lot of nonDisney people would've been itching for 95 years to burn it all down.
posted by Don Pepino at 4:38 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
"Let's have a look," said Eeyore, and he turned slowly round to the place where his tail had been a little while ago, and then, finding that he couldn't catch it up, he turned round the other way, until he came back to where he was at first, and then he put his head down and looked between his front legs, and at last he said, with a long, sad sigh, "I believe you're right."
"Of course I'm right," said Pooh.
"That Accounts for a Good Deal," said Eeyore gloomily. "It Explains Everything. No Wonder."
"You must have left it somewhere," said Winnie-the-Pooh.
"Somebody must have taken it," said Eeyore. "How Like Them," he added, after a long silence. (The capitalization! Primo.)
Contrast with this piece of saccharine schlock description of Pooh's imbecile outlook on the world a moment later:
It was a fine spring morning in the forest as he started out. Little soft clouds played happily in a blue sky, skipping from time to time in front of the sun as if they had come to put it out, and then sliding away suddenly so that the next might have his turn.
(You just want a sledgehammer, reading this stuff.)
Through them and between them the sun shone bravely; and a copse which had worn its firs all the year round seemed old and dowdy now beside the new green lace which the beeches had put on so prettily.
Staaahp... But Milne never stops. He is relentless. You can see why a lot of nonDisney people would've been itching for 95 years to burn it all down.
posted by Don Pepino at 4:38 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
(You just want a sledgehammer, reading this stuff.)
You do know it's for kids, right?
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:00 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
You do know it's for kids, right?
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:00 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
it's for kids
Do kids like to read twee precious nonsense about puppyish clouds? Milne clearly thought so, but I'm not sure that stuff is essential. In any case, it's certainly not the parts of the books I recall fondly when I think about the Pooh books. I loved them, but they're uneven. You have to kick your way through a lot of tiddly-pom to get the good stuff.
posted by Don Pepino at 5:25 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
Do kids like to read twee precious nonsense about puppyish clouds? Milne clearly thought so, but I'm not sure that stuff is essential. In any case, it's certainly not the parts of the books I recall fondly when I think about the Pooh books. I loved them, but they're uneven. You have to kick your way through a lot of tiddly-pom to get the good stuff.
posted by Don Pepino at 5:25 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
Gopher. Ah, I'm reminded now. "I'm not in the book, but I'm at your service." And later, "Think it over, you got my card, but I'm not in the book you know."
posted by JHarris at 5:32 PM on August 31, 2022
posted by JHarris at 5:32 PM on August 31, 2022
This has nothing to do with Disney's versions
I know why you say that, but you're wrong. Of course it has something to do do with them.
I read the the short post text too, it clearly explains the legal situation. And yet I meant what I said. The number of people upset about this that have a strong notion of the books and not much attachment to the animated Pooh with a red shirt is nil.
Disney is the empire that has consistently abused workers and subverted democracy to promote perpetual copyright, not Milne, and Disney is the Pooh that most of the living world knows best. However hamfisted, trite, unoriginal and lowbrow this horror attempt is, it's Disney they have their sights on, even though they take a few steps to prevent litigation on that front.
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:40 PM on August 31, 2022
I know why you say that, but you're wrong. Of course it has something to do do with them.
I read the the short post text too, it clearly explains the legal situation. And yet I meant what I said. The number of people upset about this that have a strong notion of the books and not much attachment to the animated Pooh with a red shirt is nil.
Disney is the empire that has consistently abused workers and subverted democracy to promote perpetual copyright, not Milne, and Disney is the Pooh that most of the living world knows best. However hamfisted, trite, unoriginal and lowbrow this horror attempt is, it's Disney they have their sights on, even though they take a few steps to prevent litigation on that front.
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:40 PM on August 31, 2022
Also, to respond:
>>You do know it's for kids, right?
>Do kids like to read twee precious nonsense about puppyish clouds?
Well, some do obviously, The whole Barney empire was built on a definitely cloying atmosphere. And I remember when wishing ill upon him, and Elmo, with this cutesy referring to himself in the 3rd person, was the internet flavor of the week. But kids (very young ones) still liked it, and considering the challenging time many young children have, especially those in lower income families, I don't begrudge them that for a moment. Childhood is already so short.
posted by JHarris at 5:42 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
>>You do know it's for kids, right?
>Do kids like to read twee precious nonsense about puppyish clouds?
Well, some do obviously, The whole Barney empire was built on a definitely cloying atmosphere. And I remember when wishing ill upon him, and Elmo, with this cutesy referring to himself in the 3rd person, was the internet flavor of the week. But kids (very young ones) still liked it, and considering the challenging time many young children have, especially those in lower income families, I don't begrudge them that for a moment. Childhood is already so short.
posted by JHarris at 5:42 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
"My Dinner With Piglet" - legit happy chuckle on that one :-D
posted by davidmsc at 5:58 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by davidmsc at 5:58 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
→
For me, it will always be in Willie Rushton's voice.
→
What the bally blazes is that abomination?
Eeyore (whose name never works with my accent: it was years before I realized it was onomatopoeia) was my first absurdist role model.
posted by scruss at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
The more it SNOWS,
(tiddly pom)
For me, it will always be in Willie Rushton's voice.
→
Gopher
What the bally blazes is that abomination?
Eeyore (whose name never works with my accent: it was years before I realized it was onomatopoeia) was my first absurdist role model.
posted by scruss at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
SaltySalticid, let me see if I can understand you. in your eyes I'm not upset because this is a mindless stupid edgelord gorefest but because I'm some kind of starry-eyed candy-coated Disney shill, who can't possibly think this particular thing is stupid?
It couldn't possibly be because I've been reading those books since I was my youngest child's age and loved them and their sense of wonder and imagination and I think that this kind of 'haha cute thing is now gross haha boobs haha blood' is uncreative, sexist and just generally stupid?
posted by FritoKAL at 8:09 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
It couldn't possibly be because I've been reading those books since I was my youngest child's age and loved them and their sense of wonder and imagination and I think that this kind of 'haha cute thing is now gross haha boobs haha blood' is uncreative, sexist and just generally stupid?
posted by FritoKAL at 8:09 PM on August 31, 2022 [4 favorites]
To be fair, well-respected comics writer Alan Moore featured Pooh and Piglet as side-experiments by Dr. Moreau in his League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
I’ll see if I can find the exact bit I’m thinking of, but Rorschach talks almost exactly like Eeyore.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:08 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
I’ll see if I can find the exact bit I’m thinking of, but Rorschach talks almost exactly like Eeyore.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:08 PM on August 31, 2022 [2 favorites]
Ok, maybe not exactly:
As I thought,” he said. “No better from THIS side. But nobody minds. Nobody cares. Pathetic, that’s what it is.”
There was a crackling noise in the bracken behind him, and out came Pooh.
“Good morning, Eeyore,” said Pooh.
“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it IS a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he.
“Why, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can’t all, and some of us don’t. That’s all there is to it.”
“Can’t all WHAT?” said Pooh, rubbing his nose.
“Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush. ...I’m not complaining, but There It Is
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:13 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
As I thought,” he said. “No better from THIS side. But nobody minds. Nobody cares. Pathetic, that’s what it is.”
There was a crackling noise in the bracken behind him, and out came Pooh.
“Good morning, Eeyore,” said Pooh.
“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it IS a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he.
“Why, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can’t all, and some of us don’t. That’s all there is to it.”
“Can’t all WHAT?” said Pooh, rubbing his nose.
“Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush. ...I’m not complaining, but There It Is
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:13 PM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]
(You just want a sledgehammer, reading this stuff.)
Or to quote Dorothy Parker:
"And it is that word ‘hummy,’ my darlings, that makes the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader Fwowed up."
posted by dannyboybell at 4:41 AM on September 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Or to quote Dorothy Parker:
"And it is that word ‘hummy,’ my darlings, that makes the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader Fwowed up."
posted by dannyboybell at 4:41 AM on September 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Do kids like to read twee precious nonsense about puppyish clouds?
I wasn't too keen on Pooh when I was little, but I've always been lukewarm on animal stories, save "The Enormous Crocodile" (though "Watership Down" was the first "adult" book I read. I was eight when I read it and found it upsetting ). I should also point out that I was one of those kids that really hated being a child, so, I'm not exactly the greatest source here.
posted by thivaia at 8:17 AM on September 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
I wasn't too keen on Pooh when I was little, but I've always been lukewarm on animal stories, save "The Enormous Crocodile" (though "Watership Down" was the first "adult" book I read. I was eight when I read it and found it upsetting ). I should also point out that I was one of those kids that really hated being a child, so, I'm not exactly the greatest source here.
posted by thivaia at 8:17 AM on September 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Do kids like to read twee precious nonsense about puppyish clouds?
As the keeper of a small child, yes, yes they do. Kids don't have the emotional development sometimes to process deep emotions, they don't have the capacity to deal with sadness or seriousness sometimes and while they can be morbid weird little goblins sometimes, they also need safety and kindness and sweet things.
My kiddo adores mud and trucks and skeletons and also thinks Pooh and Piglet from the books are just the absolute -best- and even as a slightly weird morbid little goblin of an 8 year old will ask for 100 Acre Woods as his nighttime reading.
posted by FritoKAL at 9:04 AM on September 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
As the keeper of a small child, yes, yes they do. Kids don't have the emotional development sometimes to process deep emotions, they don't have the capacity to deal with sadness or seriousness sometimes and while they can be morbid weird little goblins sometimes, they also need safety and kindness and sweet things.
My kiddo adores mud and trucks and skeletons and also thinks Pooh and Piglet from the books are just the absolute -best- and even as a slightly weird morbid little goblin of an 8 year old will ask for 100 Acre Woods as his nighttime reading.
posted by FritoKAL at 9:04 AM on September 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Ursula Vernon writes kids fiction, and as T. Kingfisher has revisited weird fiction from old dead guys. Someone should talk to her about revisiting Pooh.
posted by Spike Glee at 9:52 AM on September 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Spike Glee at 9:52 AM on September 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
revisiting Pooh
Isn't that sort of a German thing?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:08 AM on September 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
Isn't that sort of a German thing?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:08 AM on September 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
Do kids like to read twee precious nonsense about puppyish clouds?
Ah .... then let me introduce you to The Wind in the Willows .... in which every other chapter is a boring meditation on a lost imagining of english country life - and the ones in between are about Toad, Mole, Badger Ratty and friends - figuring out which ones to read to the kids so that they don't fall asleep on you is worth spending the time
posted by mbo at 11:39 PM on September 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Ah .... then let me introduce you to The Wind in the Willows .... in which every other chapter is a boring meditation on a lost imagining of english country life - and the ones in between are about Toad, Mole, Badger Ratty and friends - figuring out which ones to read to the kids so that they don't fall asleep on you is worth spending the time
posted by mbo at 11:39 PM on September 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
sometimes you want them to fall asleep, sometimes not - chapters for each?
Where do you file looking for Portly and finding Pan?
posted by clew at 12:46 AM on September 2, 2022
Where do you file looking for Portly and finding Pan?
posted by clew at 12:46 AM on September 2, 2022
definitely in the "meditation on a lost imagining of english country life"/kids falling asleep bin
posted by mbo at 1:54 AM on September 2, 2022
posted by mbo at 1:54 AM on September 2, 2022
Waiting for the Chuck Tingle adaptation…
posted by Windopaene at 3:52 PM on September 2, 2022
posted by Windopaene at 3:52 PM on September 2, 2022
I don’t enjoy most horror movies, and if I’m going to break my rule of not watching them, it’s going to be for a smart one like Jordan Peele’s Get Out or something. So although I read this thread with amusement, I didn’t click on the Blood & Honey trailer. However! I was tricked into watching it when I was watching a 2022 trailer compilation video and sandwiched between interesting independent movie trailers, there was this execrable effort. Harrumph.
I think stupidly long copyright is ridiculous, so I fully support the rights of these filmmakers to use the characters in their horror movie, but I have to say I didn’t see why they needed to use the Winnie the Pooh characters. Like, they really did not make the most of their source material. I prefer the ideas people in this thread have given; now those would be much more interesting.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:51 AM on September 15, 2022
I think stupidly long copyright is ridiculous, so I fully support the rights of these filmmakers to use the characters in their horror movie, but I have to say I didn’t see why they needed to use the Winnie the Pooh characters. Like, they really did not make the most of their source material. I prefer the ideas people in this thread have given; now those would be much more interesting.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:51 AM on September 15, 2022
« Older Do you have what it takes to be a U.S. Open ball... | Nirvana - Live at Reading Festival (30th August... Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by FatherDagon at 10:54 AM on August 31, 2022 [1 favorite]