"plausibly polished logos"

September 24, 2022 4:06 PM

Claire Hummel described and illustrated fake video games such as "Pro Poker Amateur" and "It's Probably Fine".
posted by brainwane (14 comments total)

I've been a fan of shoomlah for a while, but this is cherce. Come for Custard Castle Small Claims Court, stay for the description of The Consecration of Esthme.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:20 PM on September 24, 2022 [3 favorites]

You can't get ye flask!
posted by not_on_display at 5:21 PM on September 24, 2022 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: Actually. . . . Frankenstein's Monster Edition
posted by dannyboybell at 6:06 PM on September 24, 2022 [4 favorites]

At least a third of these sound like games I’d actually want to play!
posted by dorothy hawk at 8:48 PM on September 24, 2022 [1 favorite]

These are incredible.
posted by panhopticon at 9:12 PM on September 24, 2022

I remember finding all of these during the Steam Summer Sale, and she totally nailed the "looks like a real game at first but something's not quite right" vibe. If we weren't given the descriptions beforehand, it's not clear to me that I would've ever found half of these!
posted by chrominance at 10:04 PM on September 24, 2022

I laughed, especially at the description for the Pro Poker Amateur one.

You have three aces. Is that good? You have no way of knowing

That kind of describes me, playing any card game more difficult than Go Fish or Slapjack, tbh.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:22 PM on September 24, 2022 [5 favorites]

There's the kernel of a really interesting game idea in Pro Poker Amateur - you're playing a card game where the rules are randomly determined at the start of the game, and part of the game is working out what the rules are, and then you actually have to play the game.
posted by Merus at 11:55 PM on September 24, 2022 [7 favorites]

People who enjoyed this may also enjoy 100 Best Video Games (That Never Existed) by Nate Crowley, a book of reviews.
posted by wjt at 12:39 AM on September 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

Merus here's Eric Rosen playing blindfolded Fischer Random chess with no information about the initial position, what side he's playing, or time controls. Although, he still gets to use normal chess rules otherwise :)
posted by flamewise at 6:59 AM on September 25, 2022

Since the Internet is a trope feverdreamworld where everything that is imagined becomes real, I am sure some of these games will shortly exist.
posted by CynicalKnight at 12:58 PM on September 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

I'd also play the "Small Claims Court". I hope the Adventure Time people are paying attention because a Princess Bubblegum version of that game would be incredibly good.

I'd also accept a game modeled after Papers, Please, only with small-claims court cases.
posted by Mayor West at 4:56 PM on September 25, 2022

I love these!

"Hold In Your Farts" was a real game, insofar as Flash games were real. The guy from Rooster Teeth played it on Rage Quit.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:41 AM on September 26, 2022

I just passed my phone to shows these to my 13 year old sitting very close to me in our tv room, to encourage him to start practicing for Hold in Your Farts. Please.
posted by purenitrous at 9:19 PM on September 27, 2022 [1 favorite]