Honey Badger Something Something Something

October 12, 2022 10:51 AM

Nature Red in Tooth And Claw and Don't Give a.... What's a fair fight? The internet's favorite tough critter - the Honey Badger faces off against 3 Leopards - a mom and 2 juveniles. Who wins?
posted by drewbage1847 (24 comments total)

Leopards look like they got in a couple of good chomps though perhaps just had a mouth full of loose skin, so the honey badger twists around and gets sharp and loud.
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:56 AM on October 12, 2022

... are the leopards OK?
posted by tclark at 10:57 AM on October 12, 2022 [6 favorites]

for anyone else considering clicking but worried about gore -- don't worry. but it definitely ratcheted up my anxiety level a good bit.

I'd guess that the fact that these were juveniles, still figuring out the whole bitey thing, made a big difference. I can almost hear mom say, "stop playing with your food!"
posted by martin q blank at 11:04 AM on October 12, 2022 [3 favorites]

Apparently honey badgers have like crazy thick skin, inside which their bone structure moves quite freely, so they'll injure you almost no matter where you hold them.

In fact, lions do eat them, but they're small, and the lions walk away bleeding. Amusingly, they're supposedly good at injuring predators in the genitals, which can result in bleeding to death.

Honey badger takes on 6 Lions

Stoffel, the honey badger that can escape from anywhere!
posted by jeffburdges at 11:17 AM on October 12, 2022 [6 favorites]

From my experience as a not-very-good high school wrestler, it looks like Honey Badgers have a HELL of a lot of stamina.
posted by brachiopod at 11:33 AM on October 12, 2022

"Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger doesn't give a shit. Now he's grunting..."

Glad they all settled that without loss of life.
posted by Windopaene at 11:44 AM on October 12, 2022 [4 favorites]

I can almost hear mom say, "stop playing with your food!"

An online acquaintance of mine, who has worked on nature preserves where leopards live, noted that it was rather mean of mom to use a honey badger as a training aid.
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:06 PM on October 12, 2022 [5 favorites]

I'm a middle-aged man who has been at least passingly acquainted with The Realities for around five decades, and it still freaks me out that the way nature actually works is that animals sit around going 'welp, let's do some murders'. There has to be a better way.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 12:24 PM on October 12, 2022 [3 favorites]

Leopard says "sit still, we going to eat you", honeybadger says "you better slep with one eye open"
posted by waving at 12:37 PM on October 12, 2022

Also, the Honey Badger has a reversible anal gland. The smell produced by it is described as “suffocating.”

I love Honey Badgers and Wolverines. I know there is an age old question as to which would win in a fight. But honestly I like to think that game recognizes game, and they would form a temporary gang to take down *anything* around them, and then trot off on their own way after a quick paw bump
posted by inflatablekiwi at 12:57 PM on October 12, 2022 [9 favorites]

Here’s some video of a honey badger devouring jaguars.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 1:03 PM on October 12, 2022

I think honey badgers have somehow replaced instinctive fears that other animals have, such as fear of big toothy predators, or hives of killer bees, with anger and compulsions to approach and attack.

A kind of Tourette’s-like compulsion to do the forbidden thing, in fact.

It would be interesting to know if they climb high up in trees, or are seen on steep and dangerous rock faces, for example.

And it wouldn’t surprise me if everting their anal glands plays a big role in courtship, since a really bad-smelling potential mate would be a turn-off for most other animals.
posted by jamjam at 1:27 PM on October 12, 2022

How do they survive being clawed and bitten in the neck? I mean really tough skin, strong enough to survive that - will make you brave. Thanks genetics. I mean, how brave do you have to be when you can't die? It's like watching Deadpool or Superman in action.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:33 PM on October 12, 2022 [2 favorites]

Looking at the Wiki, it looks like a combination of tough, loose skin with long claws and fairly brute strength.

And then there's this piece in the relationship to humans section, which is "yikes"

Because of the toughness and looseness of their skin, honey badgers are very difficult to kill with dogs. Their skin is hard to penetrate, and its looseness allows them to twist and turn on their attackers when held. The only safe grip on a honey badger is on the back of the neck. The skin is also tough enough to resist several machete blows. The only sure way of killing them quickly is through a blow to the skull with a club or a shot to the head with a gun, as their skin is almost impervious to arrows and spears

posted by drewbage1847 at 1:40 PM on October 12, 2022 [1 favorite]

I stand by my description of the honey badger as Nature's interpretation of "fuck around and find out".
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:09 PM on October 12, 2022 [10 favorites]

Zoology folks, what's that thing called, like with hamsters; where their skin & fur is really only 'attached' at the wrists, ankles, and face? Do honey badgers have that? It would explain why taking a bite is like being grabbed by the shirt.
posted by bartleby at 7:34 PM on October 12, 2022

I find my sympathies are with Stoffel-- why does that man want to own a honey badger?
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 6:28 AM on October 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

Badger Alcatraz is my next band name
posted by gottabefunky at 9:22 AM on October 13, 2022

Are they actually trying to kill/eat the honey badger? To my untrained eye, the leopards' body language matches what my cats look like when they're playing. One of them is interacting with the badger (toy) while the others look on barely paying attention, like they're bored. They grab the honey bear then just kind of sit there with it for a bit. When my cats are actually hunting an unlucky mouse who made it indoors, they are much more focused and aggressive.
posted by mrgoldenbrown at 10:42 AM on October 13, 2022

Honey badger: where the Marines got the saying, "Pain is weakness leaving the body."
posted by thecincinnatikid at 11:44 AM on October 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

I think the parallels between honey badgers and ourselves point to something very interesting about the evolution of intelligence.

Which is that road of forbidden things leads to the palace of intellect.

Which reminds me: most animals are instinctively afraid of fire; how do honey badgers react to it?
posted by jamjam at 12:07 PM on October 13, 2022

The original video, with the "Honey badger don't care, it's getting stung by a million bees, but it don't care because honey badger is hungry" is why I chose my mefi handle many years ago. At the time, I thought the honey badger was mostly known for her aggressiveness in food procurement.

Oh no, that honey badger (most of them?) are bad-ass and it seems like other animals she encounters in the wild don't really want to mess with her.

Watching the small honey badger face off against the 3 leopards fills me with self-confidence & admiration for that level of aggression in the face of formidable predators. Honey badgers are tough AF, and it seems that they fight for the love of it, and self-preservation isn't really an issue for them. The tough yet flexible skin allows for this fearlessness.

I endeavor to walk through the world with this level of fearlessness, hence my mefi handle. RAWR!
posted by honey badger at 6:23 AM on October 14, 2022 [3 favorites]

Another honey badger vid for your enjoyment, this time from the Smithsonian channel, Why Honey Badger is the Most Fearless Animal on Earth
posted by honey badger at 6:40 AM on October 14, 2022 [1 favorite]

Joan Crawford and honey badgers: Don't fuck with me fellas.
posted by narancia at 3:06 PM on October 14, 2022 [1 favorite]