Does a bear snort in the woods?
November 30, 2022 5:55 PM Subscribe
Cocaine Bear (SLYT) is freebased on true events and stars Ray Liotta and Keri Russell, reuniting her with her co-star from The Americans, Margo Martindale.
I've had it with these monkey-fighting bears snorting my Monday-to-Friday cocaine.
posted by gauche at 6:22 PM on November 30, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by gauche at 6:22 PM on November 30, 2022 [4 favorites]
This is the grittiest reboot of Yogi Bear isn't it
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:39 PM on November 30, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:39 PM on November 30, 2022 [5 favorites]
Just a bit too restrained... I'm going to wait for the Bollywood version...
posted by Schmucko at 6:41 PM on November 30, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Schmucko at 6:41 PM on November 30, 2022 [2 favorites]
Clearly, on the basis of the trailer alone, Cocaine Bear is going to be an absolute blast. It looks like (and I have to admit that I say the following with an eye on it becoming the poster quote) it is exactly the sort of film you should see if your primary cinematic interests are bears and cocaine. If the film can sustain the sheer berserk energy of the trailer, then Cocaine Bear is destined to become a classic.
posted by the duck by the oboe at 6:42 PM on November 30, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by the duck by the oboe at 6:42 PM on November 30, 2022 [5 favorites]
.
posted by talking leaf at 6:52 PM on November 30, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by talking leaf at 6:52 PM on November 30, 2022 [1 favorite]
I think I heard high on cocaine, I imagine it's bear with a Key humming Casey Jones you better watch your speed.
posted by clavdivs at 6:53 PM on November 30, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 6:53 PM on November 30, 2022 [3 favorites]
I don't understand the world any more.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:56 PM on November 30, 2022 [9 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:56 PM on November 30, 2022 [9 favorites]
Will this movie be good? Probably not. Does anyone involved in this movie expect they were making a good movie? I hope not. Does it look like a ridiculous amount of fun? Yes. Will I watch it while drinking in a hotel room? Yes, because I now have a new goal for next year.
I like Elizabeth Banks and while her Charlie's Angels wasn't great, I still enjoyed it (and she knows what movie she made and she had fun). I want her to just be as weird as she wants to be. I hope everyone had fun making this.
posted by edencosmic at 7:05 PM on November 30, 2022 [11 favorites]
I like Elizabeth Banks and while her Charlie's Angels wasn't great, I still enjoyed it (and she knows what movie she made and she had fun). I want her to just be as weird as she wants to be. I hope everyone had fun making this.
posted by edencosmic at 7:05 PM on November 30, 2022 [11 favorites]
I don't understand the world any more.
have you ever thought of taking up either cocaine or bears
posted by lalochezia at 7:05 PM on November 30, 2022 [30 favorites]
Sure is something.
Something of a phenomenon.
(single link Melle Mel)
posted by bartleby at 7:07 PM on November 30, 2022 [1 favorite]
Something of a phenomenon.
(single link Melle Mel)
posted by bartleby at 7:07 PM on November 30, 2022 [1 favorite]
Seriously though I love shit like this. Every few months or so I get in the mood where everything is funny on the internet and then I spend an hour or so surfing and laughing till I can’t breathe and this movie looks just like the type of movie to kick off that kind of mood, like a foul language furry vengeance.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 7:23 PM on November 30, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by St. Peepsburg at 7:23 PM on November 30, 2022 [2 favorites]
Will this be the second coming of Snakes on a Plane?
posted by JHarris at 7:27 PM on November 30, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 7:27 PM on November 30, 2022 [7 favorites]
I always figured Tigger was the cokehead.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:38 PM on November 30, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:38 PM on November 30, 2022 [4 favorites]
Cocaine Bear on a Chemin de Fer
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:38 PM on November 30, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:38 PM on November 30, 2022 [1 favorite]
I don't understand the world any more.
Me either. Why are they releasing this just after Valentine's? DATE NIGHT!!!!!
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 7:51 PM on November 30, 2022 [6 favorites]
Me either. Why are they releasing this just after Valentine's? DATE NIGHT!!!!!
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 7:51 PM on November 30, 2022 [6 favorites]
Me either. Why are they releasing this just after Valentine's?
It's my wedding anniversary, so it actually works out great
posted by Dr. Twist at 8:04 PM on November 30, 2022 [2 favorites]
It's my wedding anniversary, so it actually works out great
posted by Dr. Twist at 8:04 PM on November 30, 2022 [2 favorites]
I love the idea of this movie and it’s good to know I’ll be able to watch it if the mood strikes me. I probably won’t watch it unless it’s an option on a long flight, but I still love the idea of it. That’s probably enough for me.
posted by sjswitzer at 8:06 PM on November 30, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by sjswitzer at 8:06 PM on November 30, 2022 [1 favorite]
you said you wanted less comic book movies well this isn't a comic book movie
posted by glonous keming at 8:10 PM on November 30, 2022 [27 favorites]
posted by glonous keming at 8:10 PM on November 30, 2022 [27 favorites]
More of a manga movie.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:13 PM on November 30, 2022
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:13 PM on November 30, 2022
Wait ... is that ... Isiah "Clay Davis" Whitlock Jr.? Someone has finally made a crossover movie of The Wire and Paddington Bear?! I'm in.
posted by Wordshore at 1:03 AM on December 1, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by Wordshore at 1:03 AM on December 1, 2022 [11 favorites]
I feel like there's been an undercurrent of Snakes on a Plane and Sharknado movies (but not Human Centipede...I hope) of which this is a refinement. Keep 'em coming, if they're using the "Golden Age of 80s Slashers" development model we have some amazing movies waiting for us in the future.
posted by rhizome at 1:38 AM on December 1, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 1:38 AM on December 1, 2022 [4 favorites]
I note that this will end up being Ray Liotta's last film appearance.
Not quite like Raul Julia's last film appearance being in a video-game inspired thing called Street Fighter, but....I somehow feel like this is close.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:53 AM on December 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Not quite like Raul Julia's last film appearance being in a video-game inspired thing called Street Fighter, but....I somehow feel like this is close.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:53 AM on December 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Studio note: More coke for bear, less coke for Ray Liotta.
posted by dr_dank at 5:11 AM on December 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 5:11 AM on December 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
< Will this be the second coming of Snakes on a Plane?>
A mash up could be good. The snakes and the bear on the plane. “Let them fight”
posted by cybrcamper at 5:32 AM on December 1, 2022
A mash up could be good. The snakes and the bear on the plane. “Let them fight”
posted by cybrcamper at 5:32 AM on December 1, 2022
I have had it with these motherfucking bears on motherfucking cocaine!
posted by slogger at 9:48 AM on December 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by slogger at 9:48 AM on December 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
this looks amazing.
also, zombeavers was pretty good, and is currently on tubi according to google.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 10:46 AM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
also, zombeavers was pretty good, and is currently on tubi according to google.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 10:46 AM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
Coming soon: Adderal Bear -- not only smarter than the average bear but more focused, too. Heads up Boo Boo!
posted by y2karl at 1:23 PM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by y2karl at 1:23 PM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
This story is an absolute legend here in Knoxville, TN (where the body was discovered in the driveway.) Can't wait to see the movie.
posted by workerant at 2:57 PM on December 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by workerant at 2:57 PM on December 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
I shared this on my facebook page; one of my facebook contacts is quite matter-of-fact about his cannabis use, and responded:
I'm looking forward to the sequel, Weed Bear, in which the bear walks downwind of a huge pile of confiscated weed being burned, and then goofily invades the local grocery stores, restaurants, pizzerias, and bakeries. It's mandatory that there will be a scene with a Dead band, including kind veggie burritos and grilled cheese sandwiches galore.posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:58 AM on December 2, 2022 [3 favorites]
Adderal Bear
Adderall Bear is a rocket scientist with a serious meth addiction. The movie is a rollercoaster from beginning to end.
posted by bendy at 6:46 PM on December 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
Adderall Bear is a rocket scientist with a serious meth addiction. The movie is a rollercoaster from beginning to end.
posted by bendy at 6:46 PM on December 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
Simon Whistler recounts the tale of Pablo EscoBear.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:41 PM on December 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:41 PM on December 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
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posted by Ghidorah at 6:12 PM on November 30, 2022 [11 favorites]