“I spent 100+ hours and $1000+ on an elaborate joke”

January 19, 2023 1:10 PM

Dateforce: Salesforce, but for dating

The brainchild of Amogh Kambale.

posted by Etrigan (19 comments total)

I can't believe it took until 2023 for somebody to do that. It's so obvious, in hindsight.
posted by COD at 1:13 PM on January 19, 2023 [1 favorite]

This, but for everyone I meet ever.
posted by Going To Maine at 1:27 PM on January 19, 2023 [6 favorites]

There is a Quantified Self group I follow where some people have been kludging together excel spreadsheets to do this exact same thing. Not just for romantic relationships but friends and family as well. Like if ADHD is bad for your job it can also be bad for relationships so having a tool like this is kind of brilliant.
posted by muddgirl at 1:31 PM on January 19, 2023 [3 favorites]

I think this is of use to Fonzie, and that's about it.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:38 PM on January 19, 2023 [2 favorites]

When I first saw this I thought it was 100% sincere. This is exactly the kind of thing I expect someone posting to Hacker News to come up with. Dating spreadsheets but as a service, surely something like this would have been acquired for $50mm by Match Group back in the age of zero interest rates.

Casanova the Calculator, rating a prospective mate from 1-10 is primitive, outdated, we need a multipoint matrix to calculate a histogram of love that can also be resold to advertisers.

This is only a joke because of how real it is!!!
posted by dis_integration at 1:44 PM on January 19, 2023 [2 favorites]

I think I read somewhere that Mr. Rogers kept notes on friends and went through them regularly...

This, but for everyone I meet ever.

Seriously. I've always thought smartphones should be able to tell you "you haven't contacted these people you claim are friends and family in a long long time, maybe get on it". Maybe there are apps for that?
posted by trig at 1:45 PM on January 19, 2023 [13 favorites]

Honestly I think General Personal Relationship Management software as a service probably would be useful, but not for dating as much as family and friends.

I'd pay for automated texts to loved ones to tell them I'm thinking of them or making happy birthday fb posts based on a template or three. I have ADHD, let me save my spoons.
posted by Chrysopoeia at 1:47 PM on January 19, 2023 [8 favorites]

There's a general personal relationship management tool called Monica that seems more serious and useful. It can send reminders but I also frequently lack the spoons to go from reminder to text message.
posted by Phssthpok at 1:58 PM on January 19, 2023 [6 favorites]

My jokes are bad, but they're cheap and easy.
posted by mazola at 2:15 PM on January 19, 2023 [2 favorites]

The ironic part is that I now understand salesforce better than I ever have before. Previously they've been 'that company that does something sales-related and is apparently worth half the planet's weight in gold.'
posted by kaibutsu at 2:15 PM on January 19, 2023 [12 favorites]

There's a 2017 Planet Money episode doing something similar: Episode 513: Dear Economist, I Need A Date.
posted by meowzilla at 2:15 PM on January 19, 2023 [2 favorites]

{watch Sporonos over zoom}
posted by clavdivs at 2:38 PM on January 19, 2023 [2 favorites]

As others have said, I'm out of the dating market (thank God) but I would absolutely use this for general social purposes. I have longstanding documented proof of my need for and motivated interest in a solution like this.
posted by Naberius at 3:06 PM on January 19, 2023 [2 favorites]

Seriously. I've always thought smartphones should be able to tell you “you haven’t contacted these people you claim are friends and family in a long long time, maybe get on it”. Maybe there are apps for that?

I really want a version of dialup.com but only for an arbitrary subset of my contacts who have agreed to opt-in as well.
posted by Going To Maine at 5:15 PM on January 19, 2023 [2 favorites]

@trig I’m working on an app for that ;)
posted by andreinla at 5:25 PM on January 19, 2023

Isn't this like a Farley File?
posted by Marky at 5:52 PM on January 19, 2023 [1 favorite]

The best CRM is a Coitus Recurrence Manager CRM
posted by morspin at 6:39 PM on January 19, 2023 [4 favorites]

This is just to say
I ate the dates
You mentioned
In the black book

Which you were
Planning to meet for
Breakfast, forgive me
They were so umami
And couldn't remember
Your name.
posted by Oyéah at 7:42 PM on January 19, 2023 [5 favorites]

For those looking for a "serious" relationship management service, there is Monica. I host my own copy of the open source version, but you can also pay them to host it for you.

It reminds me about peoples' birthdays and anniversaries, gives me a place to note gift ideas, and remembers their kids' names when I forget. (I've even tagged my coworkers and recorded their drinks of choice so I can get someone a nice thank you when appropriate.)

It's not perfect but I get a lot of value out of it.
posted by fader at 8:11 AM on January 20, 2023 [2 favorites]