FAMILY
February 10, 2023 11:25 AM Subscribe
Fast X [Official Trailer] “Fast X, the tenth film in the Fast & Furious Saga, launches the final chapters of one of cinema’s most storied and popular global franchises, now in its third decade and still going strong with the same core cast and characters as when it began. Over many missions and against impossible odds, Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his family have outsmarted, out-nerved and outdriven every foe in their path. Now, they confront the most lethal opponent they’ve ever faced: A terrifying threat emerging from the shadows of the past who’s fueled by blood revenge, and who is determined to shatter this family and destroy everything—and everyone—that Dom loves, forever. ”
FAST 10 YOUR SEATBELTS!
posted by brundlefly at 11:35 AM on February 10, 2023 [76 favorites]
posted by brundlefly at 11:35 AM on February 10, 2023 [76 favorites]
I know the progression of these movies is absurd, but at this point it's basically just Vin Diesel's tabletop RPG campaign and everyone is approaching level 20 and just has all this absurd backstory and nobody wants to leave the table because it is SO FUN.
posted by FritoKAL at 11:35 AM on February 10, 2023 [38 favorites]
posted by FritoKAL at 11:35 AM on February 10, 2023 [38 favorites]
If anyone needs to catch up on the series, this website has you covered!
posted by riotnrrd at 11:36 AM on February 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by riotnrrd at 11:36 AM on February 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
It's about FAMILY.
To the surprise of nobody, there's a supercut for that.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:37 AM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
To the surprise of nobody, there's a supercut for that.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:37 AM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
There's an episode of MST3k where the good guy and antagonist team up 2/3 the way through, and when they enter the room Tom asks out loud, "We're friends now. Why?"
I hear Tom asking that question in my head every time a new Fast trailer drops and features the bad guy from the previous film helping out Vin Diesel.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 11:40 AM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
I hear Tom asking that question in my head every time a new Fast trailer drops and features the bad guy from the previous film helping out Vin Diesel.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 11:40 AM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
schmaltz
posted by robbyrobs at 11:41 AM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by robbyrobs at 11:41 AM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
The final chapter? I seriously doubt it, not as long as people are buying tickets. No way Vin voluntarily walks away from his only hit franchise, not counting his voice roll (Groot) or the far less popular and far less frequent Pitch Black films.
posted by Beholder at 11:45 AM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Beholder at 11:45 AM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
If you're like me and have no plans to see these movies but want to both understand their place in our culture and laugh at how silly they are you should listen to the season of The Newcomers podcast where Nicole Byer and Jon Gabrus break the whole thing down movie-by-movie.
posted by saladin at 11:47 AM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by saladin at 11:47 AM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
It's the beginning of the final chapter. I suspect this will be broken up until at least TWO if not THREE parts. And a very high likelihood that Jason Mamoa will turn out to be a hero that considers Dom family before the end of all of this.
posted by Fizz at 11:54 AM on February 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 11:54 AM on February 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
well now this looks very unrealistic
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:58 AM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:58 AM on February 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
I have somehow not seen these movies, but one of these days...Actually I did watch the first half or so of the first one, which IIRC was a pretty straightforward action/drama flick. But I do watch the trailers, and it seems that at some point it became this series became almost science fiction with completely its outrageous stunts and cars. Was it always a CGI-heavy Mission Impossible-like series, or did it gradually go that way (with increasingly bigger budgets)? Also, Helen Mirren is in these movies, really?
Two more things. Hollywood, enough with the four-minute trailers. I feel like I watched a Cliff's Notes of the whole movie. Second, it *seems* like there is some really impressive practical stunt work--like that motorcycle jumping over that rail. But when you lean so heavy on CGI I have to assume *everything* is CGI and it renders those practical stunts kind of moot.
posted by zardoz at 12:01 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
Two more things. Hollywood, enough with the four-minute trailers. I feel like I watched a Cliff's Notes of the whole movie. Second, it *seems* like there is some really impressive practical stunt work--like that motorcycle jumping over that rail. But when you lean so heavy on CGI I have to assume *everything* is CGI and it renders those practical stunts kind of moot.
posted by zardoz at 12:01 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
What makes this whole thing so great is that the fifth most expensive film ever made is about a crew who started stealing combination TV/VCRs, and it's existence as a franchise is largely due to Vin Diesel's desperate desire to make a second movie about his Space Mary Sue.*
Particular shout-out to Ja Rule, who was in the original movie, was offered half a million dollars to reprise his character in the sequel, decided he was too big for the movie to even meet with the director. His role was rewritten and is now played by Ludacris, which is a massive upgrade. He's like the only guy who hasn't been brought back by this franchise, including randos like Matt Schulze and Lucas Black that literally no one was wishing would come back, and Sung Kang, whose character died in his first appearance but has been in like seven of these because he's so cool.
* His cameo in Tokyo Drift, which set the stage to bring everything into a shared universe was his tradeoff to get the rights to his Riddick character from Pitch Black, who is very different from Dom Torretto or Xander Cage in that he's good at everything and can't be beaten by anyone, but in space.
posted by Superilla at 12:03 PM on February 10, 2023 [24 favorites]
Particular shout-out to Ja Rule, who was in the original movie, was offered half a million dollars to reprise his character in the sequel, decided he was too big for the movie to even meet with the director. His role was rewritten and is now played by Ludacris, which is a massive upgrade. He's like the only guy who hasn't been brought back by this franchise, including randos like Matt Schulze and Lucas Black that literally no one was wishing would come back, and Sung Kang, whose character died in his first appearance but has been in like seven of these because he's so cool.
* His cameo in Tokyo Drift, which set the stage to bring everything into a shared universe was his tradeoff to get the rights to his Riddick character from Pitch Black, who is very different from Dom Torretto or Xander Cage in that he's good at everything and can't be beaten by anyone, but in space.
posted by Superilla at 12:03 PM on February 10, 2023 [24 favorites]
I'm not sure how they went from "Point Break but with street racers instead of surfers" to that.
posted by WaterAndPixels at 12:05 PM on February 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by WaterAndPixels at 12:05 PM on February 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
A person on the internet has arranged the first nine in a grid, to be played simultaneously, as "An unwatchable, panic-inducing, two hour cinematic spasm condensed from a generation of blockbuster franchise entertainment media." F1F2F3F4F5F6F7F8F9
posted by Morpeth at 12:07 PM on February 10, 2023 [18 favorites]
posted by Morpeth at 12:07 PM on February 10, 2023 [18 favorites]
I'm laughing at how stupid it all is (I work on cars a lot and one thing that becomes clear if you do is ultimately how fragile they are), but I enjoyed a couple of the films and will probably give this one a go when it hits the rental market.
posted by maxwelton at 12:09 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by maxwelton at 12:09 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
I'll probably go see it 'cause of Momoa, but I went to see IX and was...oddly unentertained. And I'm not averse to the occasional big dumb action spectacle, either.
Han's pretty hot, though.
posted by praemunire at 12:14 PM on February 10, 2023
Han's pretty hot, though.
posted by praemunire at 12:14 PM on February 10, 2023
To first triple x movie Xander Cage( vin diesel) drives a corvette off one of the highest bridges in the US. They actually drove a car off the bridge for the movie. no way they would do that with today’s CGI. But apparently watching VIN driving cars off of bridges and out of planes doesn’t get old.
My dad’s personal claim to fame is that he was one of the first to drive across the bridge just after the elected’s cut the ribbon and the HS marching band went across with some elephants
posted by CostcoCultist at 12:17 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
My dad’s personal claim to fame is that he was one of the first to drive across the bridge just after the elected’s cut the ribbon and the HS marching band went across with some elephants
posted by CostcoCultist at 12:17 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
Have they had an epic car chase on the Moon, in its lower gravity and huge potential for fantastic stunts? No? Then we’re not done Vin, not by a long shot.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:29 PM on February 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:29 PM on February 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
A lot of this was filmed in Portugal which led to a lot of fast and furious twittering about how "if you drive out of that tunnel that's not where you would really be" and "that quarry is 200 kilometers away from that overpass" ...
posted by chavenet at 12:33 PM on February 10, 2023
posted by chavenet at 12:33 PM on February 10, 2023
It's big dumb explody fun (for some definitions of fun). I will watch this. As someone pointed out up thread there is a tendency for unevenness in this series. It's still worth a watch. I like that the cast is most minority actors. Not Shakespeare but also not white guy saves the world. YMMV.
posted by evilDoug at 12:33 PM on February 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by evilDoug at 12:33 PM on February 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
I've gleefully, unapologetically, seen all of these in the theater and it's by far my favorite franchise. I wish I could offer some deep thoughts into why it's been F&F and not Marvel/Star Wars/etc. - but really they make me smile and that's what matters.
If anyone in PDX has a snobby group of friends who are too cool to see to go with you to see this, message me. We'll make a party of it.
posted by haplesschild at 12:35 PM on February 10, 2023 [11 favorites]
If anyone in PDX has a snobby group of friends who are too cool to see to go with you to see this, message me. We'll make a party of it.
posted by haplesschild at 12:35 PM on February 10, 2023 [11 favorites]
> A terrifying threat emerging from the shadows of the past who’s fueled by blood revenge...
The person who owned the VCR/TV combos they stole in the first film?
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:40 PM on February 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
The person who owned the VCR/TV combos they stole in the first film?
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:40 PM on February 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
no one asked, but
Fast Five
The Fast & the Furious (the first one, where they're stealing combination TV-DVD players)
The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Furious 7 (Jason Statham! also driving through the Etihad Towers lol)
----
everything else is unwatchable. alas, I have seen all of them (except the 2nd one and the most recent one) in the theatres.
Obviously I liked Fast Five (I like a heist), but I remember thinking that their getaway plan was particularly murderous toward innocent bystanders. So I'm saying....I'm tempted, ugh.
posted by grandiloquiet at 12:41 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
Fast Five
The Fast & the Furious (the first one, where they're stealing combination TV-DVD players)
The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Furious 7 (Jason Statham! also driving through the Etihad Towers lol)
----
everything else is unwatchable. alas, I have seen all of them (except the 2nd one and the most recent one) in the theatres.
Obviously I liked Fast Five (I like a heist), but I remember thinking that their getaway plan was particularly murderous toward innocent bystanders. So I'm saying....I'm tempted, ugh.
posted by grandiloquiet at 12:41 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
Second, it *seems* like there is some really impressive practical stunt work--like that motorcycle jumping over that rail. But when you lean so heavy on CGI I have to assume *everything* is CGI and it renders those practical stunts kind of moot.
I feel like if you care whether a particular shot was faked with stunt people or faked with CGI, the movie has already failed.
posted by straight at 12:41 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
I feel like if you care whether a particular shot was faked with stunt people or faked with CGI, the movie has already failed.
posted by straight at 12:41 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
I have little interest in seeing this movie, but I would have loved to be around to hear Michelle Rodriguez talk to Vin Diesel about her other movie.
posted by Spike Glee at 12:46 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Spike Glee at 12:46 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
stealing combination TV/VCRs
We’re stealing televisions
We’re stealing VCRs
We’re stealing combination television/VCRs
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:48 PM on February 10, 2023 [23 favorites]
We’re stealing televisions
We’re stealing VCRs
We’re stealing combination television/VCRs
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:48 PM on February 10, 2023 [23 favorites]
I don't give a FUCK if its CGI or not, I'm here for the entire hot mess.
posted by Fizz at 12:48 PM on February 10, 2023 [22 favorites]
• speeches about the importance of family ✓TAKE ALL MY FUCKING MONEY?!! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!
• exotic/high-performance vehicles ✓
• a drag race where a woman in a scantily-clad outfit drops a scarf with the camera angle super low ✓
• multiple cars falling/jumping/flying/exploding ✓
• antagonists with bad hairstyles complaining about a family member they lost and swearing revenge ✓
• a surprise cameo from someone who died previously ✓
• a shot of Dom's necklace/cross ✓
• Tyrese screaming ✓
posted by Fizz at 12:48 PM on February 10, 2023 [22 favorites]
A lot of this was filmed in Portugal
Even more of it here in Rome (I should know more about it than I do, my colleagues handled the local shoot…). One day there were three kinds of drones and two sorts of tracking vehicle (plus several fixed cameras) shooting different positions/trajectories of four cars and two bikes nearly crashing in my neighborhood piazza for the better part of a day. Watching this stuff being made is almost as improbable as what ends up on the screen…
posted by progosk at 12:50 PM on February 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
Even more of it here in Rome (I should know more about it than I do, my colleagues handled the local shoot…). One day there were three kinds of drones and two sorts of tracking vehicle (plus several fixed cameras) shooting different positions/trajectories of four cars and two bikes nearly crashing in my neighborhood piazza for the better part of a day. Watching this stuff being made is almost as improbable as what ends up on the screen…
posted by progosk at 12:50 PM on February 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
I feel like, once this series basically became James-Bond-but-with-racecars-and-sci-fi, they missed a big opportunity to go full-tilt and have Dom steal a DeLorean, reach 88 miles per hour, and travel back in time to kill Hitler and humiliate German motorists:
Fast Nein: The Fast and the Fuhrer-ious
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 12:54 PM on February 10, 2023 [14 favorites]
Fast Nein: The Fast and the Fuhrer-ious
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 12:54 PM on February 10, 2023 [14 favorites]
Vin Diesel Wants Robert Downey Jr. in the Next ‘Fast and Furious’ Movie as the ‘Antithesis of Dom’
“Without telling you too much about what happens in the future, there’s a character who is the antithesis of Dom who is promoting AI and driverless cars and a philosophy that with that goes your freedom,” Diesel said. “There is somebody that believes that’s the future, and that’s at direct odds with the Toretto mentality.”
posted by thatwhichfalls at 1:01 PM on February 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
“Without telling you too much about what happens in the future, there’s a character who is the antithesis of Dom who is promoting AI and driverless cars and a philosophy that with that goes your freedom,” Diesel said. “There is somebody that believes that’s the future, and that’s at direct odds with the Toretto mentality.”
posted by thatwhichfalls at 1:01 PM on February 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
I have to admit, I've only seen a couple of these (the first one and I don't remember which of the sequels) and I don't have the patience for them. I don't feel superior to them, I just find the ones I saw didn't do anything for me enough to want to sit through another 90-120 minutes of it.
But I love the hell out of the trailers. Every one I've seen is the best short movie ever, and I am here for them. You go drive and crash helicopters together for your family, Vin!
posted by Mchelly at 1:18 PM on February 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
But I love the hell out of the trailers. Every one I've seen is the best short movie ever, and I am here for them. You go drive and crash helicopters together for your family, Vin!
posted by Mchelly at 1:18 PM on February 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
Fast Nein: The Fast and the Fuhrer-ious
This reminds me of the time Learned League asked for the name of that infamous Leni Riefenstahl film and some of the best wrong answers were:
- 2 Fascist 2 Fuhrerious
- Das Jackboot
- Dude, Wehrmacht Car?
posted by a car full of lions at 1:23 PM on February 10, 2023 [14 favorites]
This reminds me of the time Learned League asked for the name of that infamous Leni Riefenstahl film and some of the best wrong answers were:
- 2 Fascist 2 Fuhrerious
- Das Jackboot
- Dude, Wehrmacht Car?
posted by a car full of lions at 1:23 PM on February 10, 2023 [14 favorites]
I feel like if you care whether a particular shot was faked with stunt people or faked with CGI, the movie has already failed.
(In voice of Mark Hammil imitating Harrison Ford)
“Hey kid, it ain't that kind of movie”
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 1:24 PM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
(In voice of Mark Hammil imitating Harrison Ford)
“Hey kid, it ain't that kind of movie”
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 1:24 PM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
F1F2F3F4F5F6F7F8F9
MetaFilter: I don't know why I made this.
(I love that all the audio plays simultaneously, plus a couple of them have subtitles enabled.)
posted by wenestvedt at 1:26 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
MetaFilter: I don't know why I made this.
(I love that all the audio plays simultaneously, plus a couple of them have subtitles enabled.)
posted by wenestvedt at 1:26 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
It's a pity Vin and The Rock are feuding. I liked Dwayne's character and wish he had stuck around, and other than Jumanji, here's another star who is starving for a new franchise, because both Black Adam and Jungle Cruise were not exactly hits, not hits with a capital H.
posted by Beholder at 1:27 PM on February 10, 2023
posted by Beholder at 1:27 PM on February 10, 2023
Brandon Blatcher: Then we’re not done Vin, not by a long shot.
FIFY: Then we’re not done Vin, not by along MOON shot.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:28 PM on February 10, 2023
FIFY: Then we’re not done Vin, not by a
posted by wenestvedt at 1:28 PM on February 10, 2023
Fast X -- is this the one with the notch and Face ID?
posted by credulous at 1:52 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by credulous at 1:52 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
It's about FAMILY.
So, you’re saying Fast X is a Christmas movie?
posted by nat at 1:58 PM on February 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
So, you’re saying Fast X is a Christmas movie?
posted by nat at 1:58 PM on February 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
So, you’re saying Fast X is a Christmas movie?
I would love a Fast and Furious Christmas movie so much.
posted by Special Agent Dale Cooper at 2:02 PM on February 10, 2023 [15 favorites]
I would love a Fast and Furious Christmas movie so much.
posted by Special Agent Dale Cooper at 2:02 PM on February 10, 2023 [15 favorites]
They were in space with the last one so this one is going to have to punch through time. So it will be the finale but there may still be more earlier movies to come.
posted by srboisvert at 2:20 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by srboisvert at 2:20 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
An unwatchable, panic-inducing, two hour cinematic spasm
gosh how can I resist
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:26 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
gosh how can I resist
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:26 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
It's about FAMILY.
Yeah, but who's family?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:35 PM on February 10, 2023
Yeah, but who's family?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:35 PM on February 10, 2023
aw yiss
Once upon a time, kids, I thought I was too cool for the Fast & Furious franchise because dumb reasons. Then my best friend and my husband sat me down one Christmas to watch the whatever the most recent one as well as Hobbes & Shaw. I was hooked. It's dumb! It's fun! It's explody! Also: Sung Kang is a hottie.
I am not an action movie fan, but for some reason the absolute fun ludicrousness of this series is a balm I didn't know I needed, especially since it was 2020 when I was introduced to it.
I love that they also cast another Big Tree Man to go with all the other Big Tree Men in the cast. Wossface, the guy that played Reacher on Amazon.
My Fast & Furious final movies theory: You know how we keep pretending Brian is alive? I have a feeling that we will be making Brian's death official in the final films. Like, Momoa, or whatever baddie comes after (hey, Charlize Theron, glad to not see you in a horrible hairstyle, girl), will distract our heroes long enough that they kill Brian and that becomes Dom's Final Mission of Revenge. It will happen offscreen, of course, but it will drive Dom and family to do something amazingly impossible with vehicles to avenge of their own.
posted by Kitteh at 2:36 PM on February 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
Once upon a time, kids, I thought I was too cool for the Fast & Furious franchise because dumb reasons. Then my best friend and my husband sat me down one Christmas to watch the whatever the most recent one as well as Hobbes & Shaw. I was hooked. It's dumb! It's fun! It's explody! Also: Sung Kang is a hottie.
I am not an action movie fan, but for some reason the absolute fun ludicrousness of this series is a balm I didn't know I needed, especially since it was 2020 when I was introduced to it.
I love that they also cast another Big Tree Man to go with all the other Big Tree Men in the cast. Wossface, the guy that played Reacher on Amazon.
My Fast & Furious final movies theory: You know how we keep pretending Brian is alive? I have a feeling that we will be making Brian's death official in the final films. Like, Momoa, or whatever baddie comes after (hey, Charlize Theron, glad to not see you in a horrible hairstyle, girl), will distract our heroes long enough that they kill Brian and that becomes Dom's Final Mission of Revenge. It will happen offscreen, of course, but it will drive Dom and family to do something amazingly impossible with vehicles to avenge of their own.
posted by Kitteh at 2:36 PM on February 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
Have they had an epic car chase on the Moon, in its lower gravity and huge potential for fantastic stunts? No? Then we’re not done Vin, not by a long shot.
Also, what about the ocean floor? We have so much more we could be doing Vin, let's get to work!
What about prequel's ala Yellowstone? Surely Dom's family has been driving for decades, what were they like in the 1920s?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:42 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
Also, what about the ocean floor? We have so much more we could be doing Vin, let's get to work!
What about prequel's ala Yellowstone? Surely Dom's family has been driving for decades, what were they like in the 1920s?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:42 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
I’ve never seen any of these movies, but if they tried a plot where they’re up against a sociopath who deploys a fleet of mysterious electric cars powered by AI that are killing people at random I’m thinking I might give one a try.
posted by cybrcamper at 2:44 PM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by cybrcamper at 2:44 PM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
I have to say the helicopter / grapple stunt shown in the trailer is bonkers. A friend was a bit annoyed, honestly, that feels like the climactic stunt shot and they already spoiled it. But who knows, maybe there's something even better hidden away yet to be seen?
Momoa seems a perfect fit for this franchise.
posted by Nelson at 2:52 PM on February 10, 2023
Momoa seems a perfect fit for this franchise.
posted by Nelson at 2:52 PM on February 10, 2023
Time to link to my favorite Wesley Morris review.
There is one glaring exception. If you reach back to 2001, you’ll see the list of top-grossing movies has recurrently featured a hit series whose nod to diversity goes far beyond sassy neighbors, illiterate linebackers, or Will Smith. It’s a collection of movies that in its Utopian way puts blacks, whites, Asians, Hispanics, and their various combinations on equal footing. It would be like a grown-up “Sesame Street,” except for the deadly road races, and the fact that the puppets have tattoos, guns, muscles, bald heads, and a ton of moving violations.posted by pxe2000 at 2:52 PM on February 10, 2023 [15 favorites]
It's about FAMILY.
Yeah, but who's family?!
From what I've heard about the movie business, "it" is "money", and the family is THE Family...
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:55 PM on February 10, 2023
Yeah, but who's family?!
From what I've heard about the movie business, "it" is "money", and the family is THE Family...
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:55 PM on February 10, 2023
They were in space with the last one so this one is going to have to punch through time.
Wait, no, they already cast Ncuti Gatwa!
posted by praemunire at 3:16 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
Wait, no, they already cast Ncuti Gatwa!
posted by praemunire at 3:16 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
I wanna see them do some kind of Voltron shit with their cars. That can be part of the moon one.
Also Chronicles of Riddick is great.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 3:25 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
Also Chronicles of Riddick is great.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 3:25 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
So, you’re saying Fast X is a Christmas movie?
Fast Xmas
posted by chavenet at 4:01 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
Fast Xmas
posted by chavenet at 4:01 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
I watched them all in reverse order when the pandemic started. It was fun to watch the actors shrink into normal sized people.
posted by goatdog at 4:15 PM on February 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by goatdog at 4:15 PM on February 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
I've seen all of the Fast Saga, they are not all great but it's a franchise that knows what it is and leans into it. I'm convinced half of the fun is the meta weirdness though.
...Sorta SPOILERY bits below.....
Is there any other movie franchise that kills off a one-off character who is so cool that they reboot the franchise's timeline to bring that character back. And then brings the character back from the dead anyway?
This is unrelated to the other character who died and then came back with amnesia. And of course there's the character who is still alive but whose actor is actually dead.
In addition the fact that most of the movies start with the previous movie's foe coming back as a friend makes these the equivalent of a murder mystery where you know who done it so you're learning how they done it.
posted by Misty_Knightmare at 4:59 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
...Sorta SPOILERY bits below.....
Is there any other movie franchise that kills off a one-off character who is so cool that they reboot the franchise's timeline to bring that character back. And then brings the character back from the dead anyway?
This is unrelated to the other character who died and then came back with amnesia. And of course there's the character who is still alive but whose actor is actually dead.
In addition the fact that most of the movies start with the previous movie's foe coming back as a friend makes these the equivalent of a murder mystery where you know who done it so you're learning how they done it.
posted by Misty_Knightmare at 4:59 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
For people wondering when it became a superhero franchise, I’d say the vault heist end of 5, and then 6 is just straight up comic books. I mean, you’ve got Diesel and Statham fighting with giant wrenches and hunks of metal (respectively) with neither dying from repeated blows to the head and body, and the bridge leap/catch/utterly reversal of momentum, being caught by a car (!) going in the opposite direction sequence is on par with anything in the history of the MCU. After 6, it just went full on crazy, up to and including (with Hobbes and Shaw) a world where you’ve got the Chimera virus (from M:I2) and straight up superhuman cyborgs (Idris Elba’s “I’m the Black Superman” line makes the whole movie worth it). Fuck it, why not Dom on the moon. Sure, Robert Downey Jr. would be great, but aim higher, Diesel, get us Tom Cruise as the final bad guy.
Tokyo Drift is really the best of the series, though, and it’s not close.
3,5,1,6,7,2,8,4, but I’ll admit to not really seeing the last one, and the submarine one was dumb, but not as bad as 4. And yes, the ending of 7 does get me a bit emotional.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:29 PM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
Tokyo Drift is really the best of the series, though, and it’s not close.
3,5,1,6,7,2,8,4, but I’ll admit to not really seeing the last one, and the submarine one was dumb, but not as bad as 4. And yes, the ending of 7 does get me a bit emotional.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:29 PM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
So, you’re saying Fast X is a Christmas movie?
Die Hard but in cars
posted by solotoro at 5:58 PM on February 10, 2023
Die Hard but in cars
posted by solotoro at 5:58 PM on February 10, 2023
Yippee-ki-yay, another trucker
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:10 PM on February 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:10 PM on February 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
These movies are so dumb, but it's the glorious kind of dumb. My wife and I both giddy-giggled at the stupid-but-fun stunts in this, and we will watch it as soon as it's on streaming, no question.
posted by Alterscape at 8:46 PM on February 10, 2023
posted by Alterscape at 8:46 PM on February 10, 2023
wait a minute did vin diesel choose "vehicle identification number" as his stage name
posted by DoctorFedora at 9:22 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by DoctorFedora at 9:22 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
FAST AND THE FURIOUS TEN: so very old.
posted by alex_skazat at 9:57 PM on February 10, 2023
posted by alex_skazat at 9:57 PM on February 10, 2023
How is car culture still cool? Cars pollute, cars kill, cars make cities unlivable.
posted by alex_skazat at 9:58 PM on February 10, 2023
posted by alex_skazat at 9:58 PM on February 10, 2023
Cars are terrible. I hate them. I love the FAST movies.
But yeah, real world car culture can bite me.
posted by brundlefly at 10:07 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
But yeah, real world car culture can bite me.
posted by brundlefly at 10:07 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
The Dodge family of cars are the ID, Ego, and Superego. This film showcases the Dodge Id.
posted by swallow at 11:08 PM on February 10, 2023
posted by swallow at 11:08 PM on February 10, 2023
It's about FAMILY.
family means high speed vehicular mayhem ok
posted by juv3nal at 11:56 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
family means high speed vehicular mayhem ok
posted by juv3nal at 11:56 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
wait a minute did vin diesel choose "vehicle identification number" as his stage name
posted by DoctorFedora at 0:22 on 2/11
No, although he did have to change his name as he was Christened "Vin Leaded Gasoline"
posted by I paid money to offer this... insight? at 12:09 AM on February 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by DoctorFedora at 0:22 on 2/11
No, although he did have to change his name as he was Christened "Vin Leaded Gasoline"
posted by I paid money to offer this... insight? at 12:09 AM on February 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
After 6, it just went full on crazy [...] Tokyo Drift is really the best of the series, though, and it’s not close.
I've long argued that tokyo drift has the franchise's moment where the producers said, "Yeah, fuck it, we're going all-in on bananas." The Shibuya Crossing sequence.
posted by mikelieman at 4:10 AM on February 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
I've long argued that tokyo drift has the franchise's moment where the producers said, "Yeah, fuck it, we're going all-in on bananas." The Shibuya Crossing sequence.
posted by mikelieman at 4:10 AM on February 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
Is there any other movie franchise that kills off a one-off character who is so cool that they reboot the franchise's timeline to bring that character back. And then brings the character back from the dead anyway?Look, it all makes sense if you do think of this as Vin Diesel's tabletop Cyberpunk 2020 campaign, and during one session, one player's character dies because of a bad roll and that player just rolls up that exact same character with the exact same skillset because they weren't done playing him.
This is unrelated to the other character who died and then came back with amnesia.There's another player who quit the campaign because they weren't having any fun and negotiated a dramatic death scene, but then talked out their issues with the GM who agreed to make the campaign more fun, so they went back in with the same character.
And of course there's the character who is still alive but whose actor is actually dead.oh, and that was the player whose schedule got super busy so they couldn't really commit to the campaign anymore, but still wanted to play so they proposed letting their character go off into retirement and then they could come in and play one of the NPC boss characters and set them up with a good change of heart so that they can be a guest PC in the campaign.
This is all to say that I am also not a car person, and I think this franchise is running out of steam and really needs to hang it up soon, but I do really love how the spirit of roleplaying improv resonates in this franchise in deep and authentic ways.
Also, because of that, my personal vote for a finale is to skip space or time travel and just have all of the characters realize that they're trapped in a simulation and they need to escape from The Bad Place.
posted by bl1nk at 5:09 AM on February 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
This is all to say that I am also not a car person, and I think this franchise is running out of steam
If you think they run on steam, you're definitely not a car person.
posted by brundlefly at 8:15 AM on February 11, 2023 [7 favorites]
If you think they run on steam, you're definitely not a car person.
posted by brundlefly at 8:15 AM on February 11, 2023 [7 favorites]
I hadn't seen any of these movies until about 2015, when a girlfriend mentioned how much she loved the early ones. We sat down over a few evenings and watched all of the then-available ones (this was probably just before the release of Furious 7). They are GLORIOUSLY bad in the most fun way possible. Tokyo Drift, aside from the now-dated-looking SFX, is the absolute best and Han is the best character in the franchise (narrowly beating out Tej, whose character arc from 'mechanic' to 'security and computer wizard' is amazing).
I've actually never seen one in theaters, though. I might have to for this one, just because I don't think my 55" TV is big enough to hold Diesel AND Momoa AND Statham AND Cena AND Rooker AND Theron on screen.
posted by hanov3r at 9:17 AM on February 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
I've actually never seen one in theaters, though. I might have to for this one, just because I don't think my 55" TV is big enough to hold Diesel AND Momoa AND Statham AND Cena AND Rooker AND Theron on screen.
posted by hanov3r at 9:17 AM on February 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
I am most looking forward to experiencing more of Roman's journey of discovery after his epiphany in F9 that all of the fast family are in fact invincible. I truly hope they reveal that Dom is a motomancer who derives mana from internal combustion engines and cannot be harmed while he is in proximity to one, and passes this ability on to his chosen family, and are not setting Roman up for some sort of poetic irony.
posted by subocoyne at 9:53 AM on February 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by subocoyne at 9:53 AM on February 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
I’m kind of surprised they haven’t just gone ahead and brought Paul Walker’s character back through CGI/AI/deepfake whatever. Seems inevitable, no?
I’ll be recovering from surgery next week and yall are tempting me to binge the whole series from the couch.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:40 AM on February 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
I’ll be recovering from surgery next week and yall are tempting me to binge the whole series from the couch.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:40 AM on February 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
I’m kind of surprised they haven’t just gone ahead and brought Paul Walker’s character back through CGI/AI/deepfake whatever. Seems inevitable, no?
Well sure, in Everything, Everywhere is Fast All At Once, they'll explore alternate timelines and it makes sense to the CGI Paul Walker then. I can't wait to see Dom with hot dog fingers.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:10 PM on February 11, 2023 [7 favorites]
Well sure, in Everything, Everywhere is Fast All At Once, they'll explore alternate timelines and it makes sense to the CGI Paul Walker then. I can't wait to see Dom with hot dog fingers.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:10 PM on February 11, 2023 [7 favorites]
I’ve never seen any of these movies, but if they tried a plot where they’re up against a sociopath who deploys a fleet of mysterious electric cars powered by AI that are killing people at random I’m thinking I might give one a try.
They kinda already did this? Charlize Theron is the evil computer genius who hacks into all the cars and sends a swarm of them to kill somebody.
You know the recent zombie movies that have zombies moving fast like a giant swarm of ants getting over obstacles by climbing over each other? And there's a scene where the good guys are running down an empty street and suddenly a flood of zombies spills out of a side street behind them and comes rushing forward like flood waters?
They did that with cars. Just CGI, but gloriously stupid and hilarious.
I think it's the closest thing I've seen in a western movie to the part in Enthiran where the army of robots joins together into a ball that transforms into a giant serpent that...well, you just gotta see it (unfortunately only seems available as heavily redacted "reaction videos" on YouTube, which is good because you should track Enthiran down and see the real thing on the biggest screen you can find).
posted by straight at 2:59 PM on February 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
They kinda already did this? Charlize Theron is the evil computer genius who hacks into all the cars and sends a swarm of them to kill somebody.
You know the recent zombie movies that have zombies moving fast like a giant swarm of ants getting over obstacles by climbing over each other? And there's a scene where the good guys are running down an empty street and suddenly a flood of zombies spills out of a side street behind them and comes rushing forward like flood waters?
They did that with cars. Just CGI, but gloriously stupid and hilarious.
I think it's the closest thing I've seen in a western movie to the part in Enthiran where the army of robots joins together into a ball that transforms into a giant serpent that...well, you just gotta see it (unfortunately only seems available as heavily redacted "reaction videos" on YouTube, which is good because you should track Enthiran down and see the real thing on the biggest screen you can find).
posted by straight at 2:59 PM on February 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
For people wondering when it became a superhero franchise, I’d say the vault heist end of 5, and then 6 is just straight up comic books.
Yeah, FF5 was the first one where it was obvious the writers had just sat around watching kids play with Matchbox cars and taking notes, but that's clearly where they've gotten most of their action scenes from since then. (I mean this as a compliment.)
posted by straight at 3:03 PM on February 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
Yeah, FF5 was the first one where it was obvious the writers had just sat around watching kids play with Matchbox cars and taking notes, but that's clearly where they've gotten most of their action scenes from since then. (I mean this as a compliment.)
posted by straight at 3:03 PM on February 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
> They did that with cars. Just CGI, but gloriously stupid and hilarious.
I feel like that inspired something in the latest Matrix movie.
posted by Pronoiac at 3:22 PM on February 11, 2023
I feel like that inspired something in the latest Matrix movie.
posted by Pronoiac at 3:22 PM on February 11, 2023
I unapologetically love these movies and am always ready for another. Also Jason Momoa!
(I'm just sad that unless the world changes dramatically in some currently completely incomprehensible way I will not be seeing Fast X in a theater because as much as I love them they are not actually worth my immunocompromised ass getting COVID.)
posted by hydropsyche at 5:10 AM on February 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
(I'm just sad that unless the world changes dramatically in some currently completely incomprehensible way I will not be seeing Fast X in a theater because as much as I love them they are not actually worth my immunocompromised ass getting COVID.)
posted by hydropsyche at 5:10 AM on February 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
Hydropsyche, my wife and I watched The Fast Saga (Fast 9) at a drive in for similar COVID precautionary reasons, and while my car's audio system is not quite Dolby Atmos caliber, it was still weirdly immersive?
posted by bl1nk at 8:37 AM on February 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by bl1nk at 8:37 AM on February 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
A person on the internet has arranged the first nine in a grid, to be played simultaneously
1, 3 and 4 all hit credits at about 1:40, and as the other movies start to peter out it left me feeling strangely... exhausted? wrung-out? sad?
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 1:18 PM on February 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
1, 3 and 4 all hit credits at about 1:40, and as the other movies start to peter out it left me feeling strangely... exhausted? wrung-out? sad?
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 1:18 PM on February 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
Die Hard but in cars
Yippee-ki-yay, another trucker
Now I have a coupe
Ho Ho Ho
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:30 PM on February 13, 2023
Yippee-ki-yay, another trucker
Now I have a coupe
Ho Ho Ho
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:30 PM on February 13, 2023
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posted by Fizz at 11:32 AM on February 10, 2023 [7 favorites]