"I do not recommend the coffee they serve."

April 27, 2023 4:22 AM

BEST CROISSANT IN PARIS
posted by NotMyselfRightNow (29 comments total)

Very interesting, though I wonder if his tastings may have been affected by the pall of acrid smoke from burning tires.
posted by senor biggles at 4:47 AM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]

I came legitimately interested in reviews of croissants, I giggled at the absolute deadpan commitment to pretend the protests were simply unremarkable quaint background.

Is there some other context I should have on this particular youtuber? A quick review of other videos featured some tongue in cheek Lo-Fi horror comedy in Italian but no consistent through line I recognized.
posted by abulafa at 5:13 AM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]

I’ve only been to Paris once in 1995 and there were Algerian terrorist bombings as well as some kind of general strikes. I just kind of thought that’s what Paris is like in general.
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 5:54 AM on April 27, 2023 [5 favorites]

Can confirm, that Du Pain et des Idées one is legit.

The Tout Autour du Pain one seemed incredible, but I've only had it while a sweaty post 10k wreck so any carbs at all seemed like heaven. YMMV.

What do you mean about the background in the video? It looked pretty normal to me.
posted by cirrostratus at 6:05 AM on April 27, 2023 [8 favorites]

I enjoyed this, but it's funny how all the comments are "ha ha it's hilarious the way he seems to not notice the city is in flames and chaos while he eats his croissant" while I think the actual message is "it may look on TV like the city is in flames and chaos but actually the city is mostly people on quiet streets going into shops and getting a croissant."
posted by escabeche at 6:06 AM on April 27, 2023 [11 favorites]

this video reminds me of how 10 years ago, when Boston was in the middle of a lockdown during the manhunt for the Marathon bombers, I had spent part of the morning and early afternoon at work because my apartment block had been evacuated by the bomb squad, and when I went out for lunch, the Italian takeout place down the street was still open and making food like a normal day, and I saw a group of tourists following a guide in full colonial cosplay talking about the Boston Massacre and debates at the Old South Meeting House. Meanwhile, behind them are a bunch of FBI agents hanging out at the Starbucks and state troopers at the Dunkin Donuts.

Yeah, sure, history is in motion, but also we all need a snack sometimes.
posted by bl1nk at 6:40 AM on April 27, 2023 [14 favorites]

Something about the dry humor and charming urbanity gives this guy a very NoHo Hank vibe.
posted by jabah at 6:40 AM on April 27, 2023 [7 favorites]

That was brilliant. Thank you!

"I think the actual message is "it may look on TV like the city is in flames and chaos but actually the city is mostly people on quiet streets going into shops and getting a croissant."

I got a totally different message out of this, but à chacun ses goûts, no?
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:06 AM on April 27, 2023 [4 favorites]

Two questions: is there usually that little car traffic in the touristy parts of Paris? And is dipping croissants in milk really a thing that happens?
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:07 AM on April 27, 2023

Is there some other context I should have on this particular youtuber?

"this guy" is one of Italy's most talented socialmedia auteurs, Luis Sal. He's been steadily online since 2017, and has a peculiarly deadpan yet altogether approachable/whimsical take on the world, that's catapulted him from his living room to online celebritydom, locally so far.
posted by progosk at 7:14 AM on April 27, 2023 [8 favorites]

(His IG is also very... self-aware.)
posted by progosk at 7:20 AM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]

Now I see why YouTube recommended this to me. I just thought it was more weird shit their algorithm decided every one must be interested in. Well, I mean it is that but it's also weird shit I am interested in.
posted by fiercekitten at 7:33 AM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]

I thought that was hilarious and excellent with the "B" plot. Perfect execution.

Loved the shots of the gun to proclaim Best.Croissant. to emphasize each word.

Fantastique!

Americans, did you notice how small the croissants are compared to the "bloated" ones our bakers make, and I'm not just talking about the Costco ones, but even the small boulangeries in the Bay Area who trained in pastry school in France, because that's our cultural value. #noshame #BuyAmerican #bloatedfoods
posted by honey badger at 7:43 AM on April 27, 2023 [5 favorites]

"I think the actual message is "it may look on TV like the city is in flames and chaos but actually the city is mostly people on quiet streets going into shops and getting a croissant."

Yeah, kinda. The news was all showing the footage of the same street over and over to make it look like a war zone, but really it's pretty chill even when the protest march is directly on your street.

Two questions: is there usually that little car traffic in the touristy parts of Paris? And is dipping croissants in milk really a thing that happens?

There can be traffic that light sometimes. Driving is shitty and not advised here, especially during strike events. But also, the protest locations are announced in advance and an army of gendarmes shows up and blocks off all traffic any where near it, so maybe that's what we're seeing.

As for the dunking, that's a thing with coffee for sure. Has a word for it and everything. Haven't really seen it with milk but I'm not from here.
posted by cirrostratus at 8:05 AM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]

I've only been to Paris once (20 years ago this October), but as we were walking from the Eiffel Tower to the Arc de Triomphe one afternoon, there was a sudden arrival of dozens of riot police, followed shortly by a group of protesters, so this seems like your average day in Paris to me. (We did not have any croissants that day, though)
posted by briank at 8:08 AM on April 27, 2023 [4 favorites]

I found this funny and charming and had the same opinion as escabeche above (sorry, I've forgotten how to do the linky thing) because of my experience of living near and working in San Francisco at the time of the '89 earthquake. I was in London when it happened (30th birthday trip) and was glued to the television the morning after. I soon realized that all the TV stations were showing the same footage of 4-5 places that were particularly dramatic. When I got home and could actually go back to work, I realized that a large part of the City was just fine. That is not to say there weren't terrible things that happened, people died, others lost their homes (a couple of good friends of mine), etc. But seeing how the news sensationalized the events around it was eye-opening.
posted by agatha_magatha at 8:23 AM on April 27, 2023 [3 favorites]

this is indeed pretty charming. did someone ask an AI to create the quintessentially hot young Italian guy?

I was in Paris over 25 years ago and there were student protests over a tuition hike. windows smashed, cars overturned and lit on fire. I was mighty impressed! so yeah, just another day in Paris. have a cwaaawson!
posted by supermedusa at 8:58 AM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]

Hungover, desperate for coffee and some kind of sustenance, round a corner and spy an open establishment. Commence walking toward it, hear a dull roar in the background.

Stand amazed as a crowd comes from down a side street, trashes said establishment along with a couple nearby cars and a phone booth, followed by a storm of police. Crowd continues down a different side street pursued by cops.

Stand there stunned, still wanting coffee and sustenance, but now the establishment is on fire.

Forever My Paris.
posted by aramaic at 9:13 AM on April 27, 2023 [9 favorites]

Walked down Rue Saint-Honoré to look at fashions one day, and we all made space for a sizeable group of gendarmes patrolling up and down the street. Another time I was walking around the Place de la Concorde, and some kids were on foot running away from cops, who were driving in their cars around a one-way street loop to try to figure out the best place to stop, so that they could pop out and corner them. There was a fair bit of looping. Take-home lesson: Paris is a city.

Americans, did you notice how small the croissants are compared to the "bloated" ones our bakers make, and I'm not just talking about the Costco ones, but even the small boulangeries in the Bay Area who trained in pastry school in France, because that's our cultural value

Smaller pastries might have to do with rising material and energy costs for bakers.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:21 AM on April 27, 2023

As a counterpoint, I have been to Paris a few times (1988-92) and never seen any protests.

The closest I came to encountering politics was buying an enamel pin of François Mitterrand as Kermit the Frog from a street vendor.

(The pin is now a prized possession which, along with a baggie of Mt. St. Helens volcanic ash and my piece of the Berlin Wall, constitutes my personal collection of Items of Historical Interest.)
posted by wenestvedt at 9:57 AM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]

Delightfully deadpan. Also, you can play Where's Waldo with this video!

He did get an irl grim lol out of me with, "And usually in Europe, where there's a train station and a McDonalds, there's no good people."
posted by yasaman at 10:20 AM on April 27, 2023 [10 favorites]

Came to Paris for croissants - were disappointed?
Alex @FrenchGuyCooking has some suggestions.
posted by BobTheScientist at 11:52 AM on April 27, 2023

Very first comment on Youtube: "He is like an innocent npc without knowing that he is in multiplayer mode"

That about sums it up.
posted by prepmonkey at 12:47 PM on April 27, 2023 [3 favorites]

What does that mean?
posted by Ahmad Khani at 12:47 PM on April 27, 2023

my take on that comment is that NPCs in most games have a pre-scripted routine that they try to follow as they go about their day whereas multiplayer games are controlled experiments in anarchy and random chaotic fuckery.

I also felt hard for the comments on "when your main quest is about to reach its climactic conclusion but before hand, you have a bunch of side quests to complete". like the vlogger really does want to help the French people fight for their right to retire, but also some stranger promised them 100 XP if they could sample the croissants from these 5 bakeries and that experience would come in really handy for getting them to the next level before their showdown with Macron.
posted by bl1nk at 12:55 PM on April 27, 2023 [12 favorites]

“Usually in Europe where there’s a train station and a MacDonalds there’s no good people” I’m dyin thanks for this internet gem.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:21 PM on April 27, 2023 [6 favorites]

well, i'm in love. thanks for sharing this, NotMyselfRightNow!
posted by lapolla at 5:59 PM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]

This didn't have to be a knowledgeable review of croissants and yet, it was! This guy knows what makes a good croissant and his reviews were spot on! Also loved:

- No review for Cedric Grolet because who waits in a long line for a croissant. When we were in Paris a few weeks ago, we walked by Grolet with its big line of Instagrammers, just sort of scoffed and moved on.

- Nobody ever brings up the fact that while food in Paris is generally great, the coffee is shit. I mean even these gourmet places will serve you that horrible Cafe Richard stuff that tastes like sewer water. This guy is Italian so yes of course he is especially appalled.
posted by vacapinta at 12:48 AM on April 28, 2023 [8 favorites]

I came legitimately interested in reviews of croissants, I giggled at the absolute deadpan commitment to pretend the protests were simply unremarkable quaint background.

Its a good parody of the myriad food and tourist destination reviews that are edited with evocative local music and in such a way as to air-brush out massive crowds of other tourists, long lines, weird opening hours and so on. I think in French culture there is are a couple of additional points:
1. Protests and strikes happen all the time. Many people take part in them and there are some scary looking riot police on standby - they block streets and stop public transport - but normal life continues on the margins.
2. The French Revolution left lots of people who had been busy preparing food for aristocrats, suddenly out of a job. So they founded restaurants, boulangeries and so on - and the world has benefited since. Having a place where you can pick up a great croissant for €1.50 is part of "egalité" - protesters might put a brick through a bank window, but croissant makers and eaters get left alone.
posted by rongorongo at 1:23 AM on April 28, 2023 [5 favorites]