Another entry to file under "we could have cured cancer, but..."

September 11, 2002 12:24 PM

Another entry to file under "we could have cured cancer, but..." I suppose this falls more under the MetaFark category than anything else, but researchers in the U.S. have devised new ways to make rabbits reproduce... like rabbits. Odd how that works.
posted by Veritron (18 comments total)

I'm intrigued that "the erect member had the reduced firmness of a 60-year-old [rabbit] against that of a more virile 30-year-old [rabbit]" - I would have thought that both the 30 and 60 year old rabbits would be somewhat decomposed. Maybe they were already thinking about human penises?
posted by daveg at 12:31 PM on September 11, 2002

I'm personally just amazed that I didn't find this on fark today. Of all the things to report about on September 11th, rabbit penises?
posted by Veritron at 12:35 PM on September 11, 2002

Yeah, I guess is proof that the Medical Industry in this countryhas no intention of ever curing Cancer
posted by kileregreen at 12:39 PM on September 11, 2002

Sure! It's WAY more profitable that way.
/cynicisim

Picking apart idioms in language piece by piece is not healthy. I mean, technically, shouldn't you learn quicker on a steep learning curve, and if you could care less, why don't you?
posted by Veritron at 12:45 PM on September 11, 2002

I've just noticed the juxtaposition of the main story with the "'Free Willy' Star Flooded in Offers for Retirement" - is medical research a retirement option?
posted by daveg at 12:50 PM on September 11, 2002

I'm sorry, but I can't get past the phrase "genitally challenged" without collapsing onto the floor in hysterical laughter.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:57 PM on September 11, 2002

He said the researchers were now trying to grow entire penises in the test tube.

Heh. What's next, babies?
posted by gottabefunky at 1:18 PM on September 11, 2002

Y'know, that whole "fucking like rabbits" expression was totally endangered.
posted by donkeyschlong at 1:18 PM on September 11, 2002

Heh. What's next, babies?

My guess: Next, men will begin harvesting their own naturally-grown apparatti at home. In fact, I'd bet that soon, men will be sporting a designer schlong in addition to the one they were born with.

(See Shel Silverstein's Stacy Brown Got Two.)
posted by NedKoppel at 1:34 PM on September 11, 2002

posted by RylandDotNet at 1:57 PM on September 11, 2002

Guess this could crush the viagra market... Perhaps it could be answer to Mr. Cialis' problem?
posted by FiveFrozenFish at 2:03 PM on September 11, 2002

they have succeeded in growing major parts of penises in the laboratory.

I need more specific information. I mean, are we talking about fifths of a dick here?
posted by mcsweetie at 2:15 PM on September 11, 2002

In fact, I'd bet that soon, men will be sporting a designer schlong in addition to the one they were born with.
Only men? I know a few women who would enjoy a sporty new dong for their own personal use. Plus, it's more original than a tongue piercing.
posted by DenOfSizer at 2:40 PM on September 11, 2002

I, for one, welcome our new penis-in-a-jar overlords.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:57 PM on September 11, 2002

Will my health insurance cover this?
posted by Dukebloo at 4:50 PM on September 11, 2002

If you're a male stripper / whore, maybe...
posted by Dark Messiah at 5:07 PM on September 11, 2002

Only men? I know a few women who would enjoy a sporty new dong

Seriously, I would think the main group this would really have an impact on would be FTM trannies, who currently have to deal with really weenie weenies.
posted by mdn at 5:27 PM on September 11, 2002

Or what about those scary circumcision-gone-awry incidents?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:08 AM on September 12, 2002