Women Who Write While Lying on their Stomachs

July 1, 2023 10:15 AM

BREAKING NEWS: I'm a writer and I'm pretty sure this is not actually possible. I am speaking as someone who writes pretty much every day and changes positions often when I write. I carry my lap top with me from room to room where I sometimes can be found at desks and at tables. Other times I sit on sofas, in comfortable chairs and on beds. And yet I have never written a single word while lying face down on my stomach.
posted by ShooBoo (30 comments total)

I used to write on my stomach, as a child, in notebooks, before the ample bosom. I guess every once in a while I might do it in a notebook (if I'm writing something before bed), but the thought of trying to type like that--!

But then I am missing whatever gene or brain structure makes people look at Carrie as aspirational. Nothing in particular against her; I just don't get it as anything I'd want to be. Like a dead tooth or something.
posted by praemunire at 10:25 AM on July 1, 2023 [3 favorites]

I just this week had a friend staying over who is (a) very busty and (b) not a SiTC fan of any stripe, and she wrote a cover letter on her laptop while lying on her stomach on our guest bed. I also write in this position sometimes.

I do not think everything we see in media that doesn't apply to us personally is a misrepresentation.

However, I also am blessed not to have to participate in the take economy for a living, and will engage with bullshit filler people generate to get something out before the holiday weekend as an act of solidarity.
posted by the primroses were over at 10:44 AM on July 1, 2023 [14 favorites]

I spent most of my childhood on my stomach with a pencil, copying Mad Magazine and editorial cartoons. I think it only changed when I levelled up to messier stuff like chalks, ink and paint. Can’t imagine lasting at it more than a minute now.
posted by brachiopod at 10:45 AM on July 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

Yeah, people, I hate to break this to you but when you get older your back and ribcage are no longer comfortable doing That Thing and want to do Something Else. I used to hack endlessly on my belly but now if I try to arch my back like that I just hear a low, dry snapping noise accompanied by a plume of dust and a sharp pain that has me reaching for the canopic jar in which I keep my painkillers along with several of my organs.
posted by phooky at 11:01 AM on July 1, 2023 [58 favorites]

I type on my laptop lying on my stomach, propped up a bit on my elbows with a pillow under my elbows.

I have to, because I can't sit up for very long due to a combination of physical exhaustion and chronic pain.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 11:09 AM on July 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

I had a coworker who would code while perched on the back of a chair and feet on the seat of a chair, hunched over the keyboard while his body looked like nothing so much as a question mark. He produced brilliant work. He might be still doing that today or his spine may finally have left his body in disgust.

I can write, effectively, only while at a desk and seated. I have a standing desk and it’s great for meetings, but my brain refuses to engage properly in any other position.

All that to say, I understand looking at someone lying prone with a laptop in disbelief, but it’s not hard to accept a person might succeed that way.
posted by jzb at 11:15 AM on July 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Just coming back to say that my "bullshit filler" comment probably sounds meaner than I meant it. The captions for the various stock photos are very funny; this is enjoyable bullshit filler!

Which brings us to this woman, who seems to be saying “I’ll see your big glass of chardonnay and raise you a 16 ounce cup of hot coffee.” And she is proving to us that she has confidence in her ability to consume hot coffee while lying on her stomach and trying to write because she defiantly wears a white shirt. She’s not worried that white is the worst possible color to wear in the worst possible position for writing and drinking hot coffee. No. She’s got this.

I do this as well, although with smaller coffee cups, and have the stained white t-shirts to prove it, alas. Hubris gets us in the small ways and the large...
posted by the primroses were over at 11:25 AM on July 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Hey, Merrill Markoe! Her books made a big impression on me when I was younger. Glad to see she's still working.

I remember a day when I could do this, but it is not today. I need to use a desk as well as a ridiculous amount of support to write at it, and if I go without it for even ten minutes, I am going to hear about it later. Sometimes I lie on my stomach for one reason or another, and it's not uncomfortable, but my elbows are doing a lot of support work and they don't have time to let me pause and think the way I would if I were writing continually.
posted by Countess Elena at 11:26 AM on July 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

I was hoping the comments here would be from my fellow stomach-writers. For whatever reason, it helps me concentrate when I'm feeling especially distracted and fidgety.
posted by betweenthebars at 11:28 AM on July 1, 2023 [4 favorites]

I'm sure there are women who actually laugh while eating salad.
posted by LionIndex at 11:32 AM on July 1, 2023 [31 favorites]

I hate to break this to you but when you get older your back and ribcage are no longer comfortable doing That Thing and want to do Something Else.

That is increasingly true for whatever That Thing happens to be. Sitting normally in a chair? Lying on your side while trying to sleep? Driving?

Unfortunately after a short while Something Else becomes That Thing and you have to find a new Something Else.
posted by Foosnark at 11:36 AM on July 1, 2023 [8 favorites]

Desks, yet another victim of the housing crisis.
posted by Panjandrum at 12:00 PM on July 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

I'm told this is a porn thing too, mostly prone ladies surprised while gaming ....
posted by chavenet at 12:12 PM on July 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

The one where she's also holding a wine glass seems borderline dangerous to me. Either she chokes or spills the wine, I don't see any other outcome.
posted by tommasz at 12:34 PM on July 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

chavenet: I'm told this is a porn thing too, mostly prone ladies surprised while gaming ....

It’s a nice change of pace from those clothes dryers that seem to attract and trap bratty step-sisters. Somebody’s gonna get hurt one day!
posted by dr_dank at 2:28 PM on July 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

Why is it all women? When I searched for man lying on stomach I got more pictures of men lying on a woman's stomach than lying on their own.
posted by Mavri at 2:44 PM on July 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

Write? Longhand, sure. On a computer... barely, for a few minutes.

Read? Yeah, pretty much always.

Type a mefi comment on my phone? Pal, you’re looking at it.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:46 PM on July 1, 2023 [6 favorites]

From the article: “ But as we depart we are left with one very big question: Why is it only women who are drawn to this improbable writing position? ”

praemunire: “ I used to write on my stomach, as a child, ”

Ding! Ding! Ding! I think this is the answer — it is a continuation of the infantilizing of women.
posted by Silvery Fish at 2:49 PM on July 1, 2023 [7 favorites]

And in a somewhat related porn thing...

All but one are barefoot. Stock photos are pretty creepy...
posted by Windopaene at 3:42 PM on July 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

This feels like a companion piece to "women laughing alone with salad".
posted by mhoye at 3:57 PM on July 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

The Onion: Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl

(There's nothing more than the headline and a picture, but it is eerie that the video makes a joke about the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade - in 2013)
posted by meowzilla at 4:00 PM on July 1, 2023 [3 favorites]

Ding! Ding! Ding! I think this is the answer — it is a continuation of the infantilizing of women.

That, plus it's one of the only angles where the photo can show both the laptop and lots of cleavage. Infantilization plus sexualization, the magic combo.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:20 PM on July 1, 2023 [5 favorites]

Ah, yes... But do these women write salad on their fronts? Do they laugh while eating a laptop?

Enquiring minds, etc.
posted by prismatic7 at 8:34 PM on July 1, 2023 [3 favorites]

one of the only angles where the photo can show both the laptop and lots of cleavage

Mr Tarantino would like to point out it also shows off the feet. Really it's a trifecta.
posted by Pink Fuzzy Bunny at 2:45 AM on July 2, 2023 [6 favorites]

We end on this mysterious woman. Dressed in her finest lingerie, she sits poised on her stomach, ready to do some writing with her enormous pen in her completely untouched book full of blank pages. So devoted is she to wanting to appear carried away by the writing process that she has moved a bed into what looks like a hospital waiting room or a corporate headquarters. But why? Well, I have developed an unconventional theory. Further scrutiny has lead me to believe that she is surreptitiously keeping an eye on that lone man in the back of the room on the couch. The angle of her eyes indicate to me that she may be watching him. Is he aware that she is watching? Does she work for Vladimir Putin? Does he? Did some authoritarian regime demand that she freeze and then maintain this untenable writing position as a disguise while her top-secret mission is carried forward? These are some of the questions that can not be answered by me right now. Or ever.

Yes. This.

[I slow-clap this article and comment from a standing desk]
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 6:36 AM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

I came up with a design for a lying-down (on your back) desk one time

the idea was to take a computer monitor, rest it on a desk frame with the screen pointed down, then lie with your head underneath it while typing with each hand on a split keyboard, bluetooth mouse near the dominant hand

I never got to try it out because the monitor I ordered for the purpose was a little too short, maybe because the height measurement included the little riser thing? still convinced that it woulda been a game-changer, though

or that the monitor would've inevitably fallen on my head, roughly equal possibility

now I type from a beanbag with a lap tray
posted by taquito sunrise at 8:37 AM on July 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Me: Show images of women writing while lying on her stomach; safe search on.
Google - I have a few dozen pages - but I've mixed in some images of pregnant women who are clearly missing out.
Me: Now show me images of men writing while lying on his stomach.
Google - Ah - you mean Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl
posted by rongorongo at 12:18 PM on July 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

I totally write (both longhand and on my laptop) while lying on my stomach. I'm doing it right now. I quite often eat my meals at the same time. Tucking a pillow underneath one's chest/elbows really helps. Pro-tip: if you want to drink anything while so engaged, you will need to roll on your side for that.
posted by orange swan at 3:14 PM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

I'm very surprised there has been no mention of Maya Angelou, who famously rented hotel rooms to write while laying down, with a glass of sherry within reach.

Beginning with I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Angelou used the same “writing ritual” for many years. She would wake early in the morning and check into a hotel room, where the staff was instructed to remove any pictures from the walls. She would write on legal pads while lying on the bed, with only a bottle of sherry, a deck of cards to play solitaire, Roget’s Thesaurus, and the Bible, and would leave by the early afternoon. She would average 10–12 pages of written material a day, which she edited down to three or four pages in the evening.
posted by averageamateur at 4:33 PM on July 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

I'm typing this lying on my tummy.

Boobs are pillows.

Straws are your friends.
posted by gomichild at 9:41 AM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]