There's No Vengeance Like Petty Vengeance
July 5, 2023 12:12 PM Subscribe
There's a new collection of Stories From The Readership at Ask A Manager, and this time, the topic is the petty moments readers remember from work.
Highlights include sauce crime, why you don't stake your claim in pencil, cornering the daffodil market, and other petty moments.
Highlights include sauce crime, why you don't stake your claim in pencil, cornering the daffodil market, and other petty moments.
To be fair, that was Part 2 - Part 1 is here.
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:22 PM on July 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:22 PM on July 5, 2023 [2 favorites]
one of Reddit's many different subreddits for this type of this is Malicious Compliance
posted by blob at 1:16 PM on July 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by blob at 1:16 PM on July 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
Today was possibly the worst day of my professional life but I am grateful for these posts for giving me a true laugh imagining lighting ________'s ________ _____ _________ on fire.
posted by avocet at 1:22 PM on July 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by avocet at 1:22 PM on July 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
My boss didn’t say a word. Just sat me down and played the tape.
That done, and stifling a laugh, he said, “I assume we’re not going to have a problem like this ever again?”
I assured him we would not, and that was that. He was a great boss.
#goals
posted by box at 1:33 PM on July 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
That done, and stifling a laugh, he said, “I assume we’re not going to have a problem like this ever again?”
I assured him we would not, and that was that. He was a great boss.
#goals
posted by box at 1:33 PM on July 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
Ooh, I have one of these!
I was working morning shift at a small residential drug treatment program in 2020 when the George Floyd protests were at their height. My night shift co-worker lived in an area where the police were using tear gas and causing chaos, and it was freaking their dog out. They asked if they could bring the dog up to our work, which was in a quieter neighborhood, and got the ok from our boss. Our office manager had brought her dog in at other times, so this was not completely unprecedented.
I come in for morning shift and the dog is napping adorably in the break room. Co-worker reports that all went well during the night and that our clients happily gave the dog water and several pieces of breakfast sausage in the morning. I pet the dog, tell him he is a very good boy, and go about my day as normal.
Maybe two weeks later, I get a text from night shift co-worker. Apparently our clients had used a mug that belonged to one of the facility therapists for the dog’s water, and said therapist was absolutely freaking out, even though the mug had been washed thoroughly and the dog hadn’t returned in those two weeks. She said that she would not drink from any mug that a dog had drank from, ever, and could my co-worker please replace that mug.
Rather than try to raise a stink about this ridiculous ask, co-worker bought this therapist a new mug with a paw print on it that said “life’s better with a furry companion.” No word as to whether they made off with therapist’s perfectly usable old mug, though they would have been entirely justified in doing so.
posted by I am a Sock, I am an Island at 1:35 PM on July 5, 2023 [19 favorites]
I was working morning shift at a small residential drug treatment program in 2020 when the George Floyd protests were at their height. My night shift co-worker lived in an area where the police were using tear gas and causing chaos, and it was freaking their dog out. They asked if they could bring the dog up to our work, which was in a quieter neighborhood, and got the ok from our boss. Our office manager had brought her dog in at other times, so this was not completely unprecedented.
I come in for morning shift and the dog is napping adorably in the break room. Co-worker reports that all went well during the night and that our clients happily gave the dog water and several pieces of breakfast sausage in the morning. I pet the dog, tell him he is a very good boy, and go about my day as normal.
Maybe two weeks later, I get a text from night shift co-worker. Apparently our clients had used a mug that belonged to one of the facility therapists for the dog’s water, and said therapist was absolutely freaking out, even though the mug had been washed thoroughly and the dog hadn’t returned in those two weeks. She said that she would not drink from any mug that a dog had drank from, ever, and could my co-worker please replace that mug.
Rather than try to raise a stink about this ridiculous ask, co-worker bought this therapist a new mug with a paw print on it that said “life’s better with a furry companion.” No word as to whether they made off with therapist’s perfectly usable old mug, though they would have been entirely justified in doing so.
posted by I am a Sock, I am an Island at 1:35 PM on July 5, 2023 [19 favorites]
We once had a very annoying, catastrophically under-qualified summer intern...
...and we just spent three months looking the other way while he broke every expensive piece of lab equipment he could get his hands on because his father had deep political connections.
Every now and then I look in on his twitter hoping to glimpse some sort of karmic retribution, but nope. He's still failing upwards.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 1:39 PM on July 5, 2023 [8 favorites]
...and we just spent three months looking the other way while he broke every expensive piece of lab equipment he could get his hands on because his father had deep political connections.
Every now and then I look in on his twitter hoping to glimpse some sort of karmic retribution, but nope. He's still failing upwards.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 1:39 PM on July 5, 2023 [8 favorites]
I would make up technologies to mess with my know-it-all co-worker. “Oh have you heard about the new Flarbelstein video card? It’s got 15 numptytons of RAM…” and they would nod along, “Oh, yes, the Flarbelstein, great stuff.” I never let on.
I did this, not with technology, but with Politburo members in the days when I was studying to be a Kremlinologist (yes, this was an actual thing, and now you have an idea how old I am) and a pompous MA student decided to challenge my authority and quiz me when I was teaching an unrelated graduate seminar. I raised eyebrow at him and said "but what about the power struggle between Made Up Name#1 and Made Up Name #2?" He made up some comment and I replied "Really? I'm surprised you didn't mention that Made Up Name #3 is most likely to benefit. His response? "Well that's obvious!"
At that point, I diverge from the commenter in the article because I then asked out loud how it could be obvious when neither 1, 2, nor 3 existed. The guy turned such a deep shade of red he was known as Cherry Man (in Russian) for the rest of his time on campus.
posted by rpfields at 1:56 PM on July 5, 2023 [15 favorites]
I did this, not with technology, but with Politburo members in the days when I was studying to be a Kremlinologist (yes, this was an actual thing, and now you have an idea how old I am) and a pompous MA student decided to challenge my authority and quiz me when I was teaching an unrelated graduate seminar. I raised eyebrow at him and said "but what about the power struggle between Made Up Name#1 and Made Up Name #2?" He made up some comment and I replied "Really? I'm surprised you didn't mention that Made Up Name #3 is most likely to benefit. His response? "Well that's obvious!"
At that point, I diverge from the commenter in the article because I then asked out loud how it could be obvious when neither 1, 2, nor 3 existed. The guy turned such a deep shade of red he was known as Cherry Man (in Russian) for the rest of his time on campus.
posted by rpfields at 1:56 PM on July 5, 2023 [15 favorites]
Years ago, I had a job that required much cold calling to sell software. I called some CEO on my call list that day, got his voicemail (as I almost always did), left my 20-second spiel (as I always did), and went on to my next call, completely forgetting about the previous call almost immediately. Several hours later, I got a 1000+ word email from that guy, berating me for wasting the time of such a busy and important CEO by leaving a voicemail that he had to listen to, blah blah blah. I then spent 20 minutes researching his company, and upon realizing he was a 1 or 2-person shop, I replied to his email, saying that he was absolutely right and that if I had realised he was such a small company that could never afford our software, I would not have called.
That resulted in Mr. Busy wasting more of his precious time tracking down our CEO and calling her to demand I be fired for insubordination. She called me and asks me to explain the email. I say it was a tough day; the guy is an asshole, he deserved, it, and I regret nothing. She replies all that may be true, but next time, just send your vent email to me and save us both the time of dealing with the fallout.
posted by COD at 1:57 PM on July 5, 2023 [13 favorites]
That resulted in Mr. Busy wasting more of his precious time tracking down our CEO and calling her to demand I be fired for insubordination. She called me and asks me to explain the email. I say it was a tough day; the guy is an asshole, he deserved, it, and I regret nothing. She replies all that may be true, but next time, just send your vent email to me and save us both the time of dealing with the fallout.
posted by COD at 1:57 PM on July 5, 2023 [13 favorites]
In my defense, I was left unsupervised with the bowl.
posted by Hypatia at 2:16 PM on July 5, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by Hypatia at 2:16 PM on July 5, 2023 [10 favorites]
Mine was almost twenty years ago now, as a lowly PA on a reality tv shoot in upstate NY, where we had (among other issues) a highly ineffectual Executive Producer who, at least, had been rather sweet and friendly for most of the month we'd been out in the boonies. Everyone else (especially our line producer) had to pick up the slack in the absolute void of any leadership, but nobody really resented the EP for it (well, maybe the line producer, but if so she never said anything about it.)
Then, on the last weekend of the shoot, the EP's boss was flying in to check things out, and EP went into full-on panic mode, suddenly doing a lot of ordering people around, which, fine, that's her prerogative, but it went against all of the workflow dynamics we'd been developing up to that point just as we were trying to finish up the actual shoot we were doing, and EP was trying to redirect our efforts away from actual work and towards basically creating a Potemkin Village of organization-porn to show off to her boss with. It was maddening.
When EP's Boss arrived, EP went through a big show of ordering us PAs around in front of Boss, telling us to go finish up construction on something that, per the show, was supposed to be constructed by townspeople in our project anyway, but whatever. We were told to take all night if we needed to. We were, again, a team of four PAs, none of whom were construction workers, told to go finish building a structure made to hold actual people, after the sun has gone down. Meanwhile, EP has grabbed a bottle of wine she bought specifically to share with her boss, and can't find a corkscrew, and what little remains of her façade of competence is fraying quickly, and that's how we leave it as we head out to the site.
When we get there, one dude of the four of us is missing, and we try to get started, but he shows up a few minutes latter with a couple of six-packs for us, which he promptly opened for us, with EP's corkscrew.
posted by Navelgazer at 3:34 PM on July 5, 2023 [15 favorites]
Then, on the last weekend of the shoot, the EP's boss was flying in to check things out, and EP went into full-on panic mode, suddenly doing a lot of ordering people around, which, fine, that's her prerogative, but it went against all of the workflow dynamics we'd been developing up to that point just as we were trying to finish up the actual shoot we were doing, and EP was trying to redirect our efforts away from actual work and towards basically creating a Potemkin Village of organization-porn to show off to her boss with. It was maddening.
When EP's Boss arrived, EP went through a big show of ordering us PAs around in front of Boss, telling us to go finish up construction on something that, per the show, was supposed to be constructed by townspeople in our project anyway, but whatever. We were told to take all night if we needed to. We were, again, a team of four PAs, none of whom were construction workers, told to go finish building a structure made to hold actual people, after the sun has gone down. Meanwhile, EP has grabbed a bottle of wine she bought specifically to share with her boss, and can't find a corkscrew, and what little remains of her façade of competence is fraying quickly, and that's how we leave it as we head out to the site.
When we get there, one dude of the four of us is missing, and we try to get started, but he shows up a few minutes latter with a couple of six-packs for us, which he promptly opened for us, with EP's corkscrew.
posted by Navelgazer at 3:34 PM on July 5, 2023 [15 favorites]
About 20 years ago when I was a venue tech I used to pick up shifts looking after the right wing church that would hire our theatre. They were as odious as you might imagine but it was Sunday pay and sometimes you just gotta take the cash.
Some individuals were worse than others to deal with and about the worst was the self appointed band leader, who was an egotistical narcissist who had to be seen and heard at all times. One of the ways he ensured the focus was on him was to constantly ask for audio changes, a little bit more vocal in the foldback, a little less, turn down the mids, and so on. Constantly and without any grace. My petty revenge was to pretend to make the change he asked for, with him never cottoning on. He must have been deaf honestly.
Other than the pay it's about the only satisfaction I ever extracted from that group unfortunately.
posted by deadwax at 4:26 PM on July 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
Some individuals were worse than others to deal with and about the worst was the self appointed band leader, who was an egotistical narcissist who had to be seen and heard at all times. One of the ways he ensured the focus was on him was to constantly ask for audio changes, a little bit more vocal in the foldback, a little less, turn down the mids, and so on. Constantly and without any grace. My petty revenge was to pretend to make the change he asked for, with him never cottoning on. He must have been deaf honestly.
Other than the pay it's about the only satisfaction I ever extracted from that group unfortunately.
posted by deadwax at 4:26 PM on July 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
Uh, I do not want to drink from a vessel a dog has drunk from. It's a cultural thing. As is the idea that it's harmless to let them do this in a shared kitchen without asking anyone.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 6:41 PM on July 5, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 6:41 PM on July 5, 2023 [12 favorites]
I once had a useless boss, and did an experiment along the lines of "It’s got 15 numptytons of RAM…” by mentioning something that I knew was uncomfortably out of his area of expertise, but which he was supposed to be learning about. (The word may have been "baud," for you older nerds.)
To my horror, but no surprise, I heard him too-casually drop the deliberately misapplied jargon into a presentation to our next major prospect, less than a week later.
Thankfully, myself and my colleague and I were in the back of a large and dark room so no one could hear us sniggering.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:52 PM on July 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
To my horror, but no surprise, I heard him too-casually drop the deliberately misapplied jargon into a presentation to our next major prospect, less than a week later.
Thankfully, myself and my colleague and I were in the back of a large and dark room so no one could hear us sniggering.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:52 PM on July 5, 2023 [3 favorites]
Many years ago I did some work at a company where the head of IT could do a great "John Cleese at his most Basil Fawlty manic" impression. The place got a new director whose reputation as an unpleasant and demanding boss had preceded him, so the IT department decided to start as they meant to continue.
Day one, and new boss finds that the PC on his desk doesn't work (as arranged by IT) so he phones the head of IT to come and sort it out pronto. Said head arrives, plays with the machine for few seconds, then silently takes a huge pair of wire cutters out of his suit pocket, cuts all the cables - power, network and monitor - opens the window and throws the whole thing, screen and all, out into the car park.
"I shall arrange for a new PC to be delivered shortly," he said as he exited, still holding the wire cutters. IT had no more problems with the new boss.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 7:13 PM on July 5, 2023 [18 favorites]
Day one, and new boss finds that the PC on his desk doesn't work (as arranged by IT) so he phones the head of IT to come and sort it out pronto. Said head arrives, plays with the machine for few seconds, then silently takes a huge pair of wire cutters out of his suit pocket, cuts all the cables - power, network and monitor - opens the window and throws the whole thing, screen and all, out into the car park.
"I shall arrange for a new PC to be delivered shortly," he said as he exited, still holding the wire cutters. IT had no more problems with the new boss.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 7:13 PM on July 5, 2023 [18 favorites]
A new technician at a startup decided to do things "the right way". So, without asking, they ordered a large toolbox, filled it with all of the tools that were laying around the lab, locked them up, and left promptly at 4pm every day. A problem, since engineers were still there 'til 10pm or later.
We engineers are like territorial eight-year-olds about our tools, and, after a few days, one of us solved the issue. After the tech left for the evening, the toolbox was broken into, and the barrel of the lock carefully drilled out from the back, so it appeared intact, but just rotated freely instead of locking.
It took a week before the tech realized the lock was compromised, when during "locking", the entire lock assembly fell into the toolbox. The nonplussed look on the tech's face, blinking rapidly, with hand raised and key in the hole where a lock used to be just a second ago, was a treasure.
I suspect one of the senior engineers later took the tech aside and quietly told them to Stop That. The tech continued there quite productively, and with more discretion, for a couple more years.
posted by SunSnork at 9:44 PM on July 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
We engineers are like territorial eight-year-olds about our tools, and, after a few days, one of us solved the issue. After the tech left for the evening, the toolbox was broken into, and the barrel of the lock carefully drilled out from the back, so it appeared intact, but just rotated freely instead of locking.
It took a week before the tech realized the lock was compromised, when during "locking", the entire lock assembly fell into the toolbox. The nonplussed look on the tech's face, blinking rapidly, with hand raised and key in the hole where a lock used to be just a second ago, was a treasure.
I suspect one of the senior engineers later took the tech aside and quietly told them to Stop That. The tech continued there quite productively, and with more discretion, for a couple more years.
posted by SunSnork at 9:44 PM on July 5, 2023 [6 favorites]
I just got off a long AAM session on “icebreaker topics” and how badly those turn out but some are so very funny that I’ve been convulsed in silent laughter just remembering them.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 10:20 PM on July 5, 2023
posted by TWinbrook8 at 10:20 PM on July 5, 2023
I worked at KFC during my high school years. One day, early in summer vacation, a man came in, purchased some food, and also asked for a job application form for his son. I told him I'd get him the form, but that I didn't believe we were hiring because all the existing staff members wanted more hours and the manager said she didn't have them to give out. The man said, in a very curt, contemptuous tone, "You work enough hours."
Without saying another word, I got the form for him, and a pen, and he spent some minutes filling it out. Then, the second he was out the door, I threw the completed application form in the garbage. So far as I can recall, there weren't any new hires made for several months after that, so I don't think it made any actual difference to the man's son's employment prospects, but over 30 years later I still remember and relish the feeling of pure satisfaction that moment gave me.
posted by orange swan at 11:52 PM on July 5, 2023 [7 favorites]
Without saying another word, I got the form for him, and a pen, and he spent some minutes filling it out. Then, the second he was out the door, I threw the completed application form in the garbage. So far as I can recall, there weren't any new hires made for several months after that, so I don't think it made any actual difference to the man's son's employment prospects, but over 30 years later I still remember and relish the feeling of pure satisfaction that moment gave me.
posted by orange swan at 11:52 PM on July 5, 2023 [7 favorites]
At a company where I worked years ago, there was a woman no one much liked. Back in the day I dubbed her Hobbette because she had hair down to her butt and was obsessed with LOTR, so I'm going to call her that in this anecdote. Hobbette maintained the intranet page for her department (she worked in different department from the one in which I worked). Another co-worker of mine used to maintain that page when he worked there, and under his management the page featured useful information about who was away for the day, reminders about meetings, etc., with perhaps some little tag of interesting trivia or an amusing photo to keep the page from being too dull.
Hobbette took over the department's page after he left and proceeded to turn it into her personal blog, which featured zero useful information and her blathering on about nothing (i.e., she would complain about how annoying it was that people would suggest that she should cut her hair, about the rain and construction that had made it difficult for her to get to work, wish her desk plant a happy birthday, bemoan the fact that Alanis Morrissette had cut her hair when long hair was so beautiful, etc.). I found this page painful to read. Another co-worker of mine liked to amuse/torture himself by reading it, and by occasionally secretly replacing some of Hobbette's jpgs with something else. Then he'd hear her on the phone, complaining to IT because her jpgs were different from what she'd posted AGAIN and that she just couldn't understand why that kept happening.
On the company's intranet main page there was a "What's Hot" list, which was a list of the links to the most used/visited stuff on the intranet. It was very handy for when one wanted to navigate to one of those often used pages. Some of the wags in IT thought would be funny to have the name of one of their co-workers at the top of the list, so they created a script that activated the link to his employee page 1000 times, which catapulted his name to the top of the list. Not knowing the back story at the time, I laughed when I first saw it, because the guy was, well, not hot, and also habitually very grouchy and rude, and I took a moment to wonder how his page could possibly be getting so many visits.
Well, Hobbette never found out about the script, but she thought *her* intranet page should appear at the top of the list, so she sat at her desk and clicked her page's link 1001 times or however many times it took until her page was in first place.... whereupon the IT guys simply ran the script again so that Not Hot guy's name was first once more. Hobbette was apoplectic over that, and as with her mysteriously substituted jpgs, simply could not understand how Not Hot guy's page could be so much more visited than hers. No one ever enlightened her, and it remained a mystery to her up to, including, and presumably beyond, the day she was fired.
posted by orange swan at 12:51 AM on July 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
Hobbette took over the department's page after he left and proceeded to turn it into her personal blog, which featured zero useful information and her blathering on about nothing (i.e., she would complain about how annoying it was that people would suggest that she should cut her hair, about the rain and construction that had made it difficult for her to get to work, wish her desk plant a happy birthday, bemoan the fact that Alanis Morrissette had cut her hair when long hair was so beautiful, etc.). I found this page painful to read. Another co-worker of mine liked to amuse/torture himself by reading it, and by occasionally secretly replacing some of Hobbette's jpgs with something else. Then he'd hear her on the phone, complaining to IT because her jpgs were different from what she'd posted AGAIN and that she just couldn't understand why that kept happening.
On the company's intranet main page there was a "What's Hot" list, which was a list of the links to the most used/visited stuff on the intranet. It was very handy for when one wanted to navigate to one of those often used pages. Some of the wags in IT thought would be funny to have the name of one of their co-workers at the top of the list, so they created a script that activated the link to his employee page 1000 times, which catapulted his name to the top of the list. Not knowing the back story at the time, I laughed when I first saw it, because the guy was, well, not hot, and also habitually very grouchy and rude, and I took a moment to wonder how his page could possibly be getting so many visits.
Well, Hobbette never found out about the script, but she thought *her* intranet page should appear at the top of the list, so she sat at her desk and clicked her page's link 1001 times or however many times it took until her page was in first place.... whereupon the IT guys simply ran the script again so that Not Hot guy's name was first once more. Hobbette was apoplectic over that, and as with her mysteriously substituted jpgs, simply could not understand how Not Hot guy's page could be so much more visited than hers. No one ever enlightened her, and it remained a mystery to her up to, including, and presumably beyond, the day she was fired.
posted by orange swan at 12:51 AM on July 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
We rearranged the keycaps on his keyboard. He called IT because his password wouldn't work.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 12:57 AM on July 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 12:57 AM on July 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
The click pen story was one of harassment! That poor woman could have sued.
posted by tiny frying pan at 10:00 AM on July 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by tiny frying pan at 10:00 AM on July 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
I would make up technologies to mess with my know-it-all co-worker. “Oh have you heard about the new Flarbelstein video card? It’s got 15 numptytons of RAM…” and they would nod along, “Oh, yes, the Flarbelstein, great stuff.” I never let on.
Years ago I worked with a guy who had a most unfortunate penchant for doggedly pursuing women at our workplace despite their utter lack of interest. I was one of them, though it was awhile before I learned that I wasn't the only one. From comparing notes with some of the other women, I learned he tended to recycle his lame lines, such as "I haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time." Fortunately I was spared the truly terrifying one he used on a friend of mine, "Your face is the last thing I see when I close my eyes at night."
Anyway, on one occasion when he was trying to cosy up one such woman, who was a gourmet cook and also knowledgeable about wines, he was trying to act as though he also knew a lot about wine in order to impress her. As a test, she said to him (I don't remember the name of the actual company, so fictional name here), "What do you think of Smith & Jones Vineyard's red?" though that company didn't actually make a red, just a white. He said, "Oh, it's the BEST!!!"
Foolish, foolish horndog.
posted by orange swan at 10:35 AM on July 6, 2023
Years ago I worked with a guy who had a most unfortunate penchant for doggedly pursuing women at our workplace despite their utter lack of interest. I was one of them, though it was awhile before I learned that I wasn't the only one. From comparing notes with some of the other women, I learned he tended to recycle his lame lines, such as "I haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time." Fortunately I was spared the truly terrifying one he used on a friend of mine, "Your face is the last thing I see when I close my eyes at night."
Anyway, on one occasion when he was trying to cosy up one such woman, who was a gourmet cook and also knowledgeable about wines, he was trying to act as though he also knew a lot about wine in order to impress her. As a test, she said to him (I don't remember the name of the actual company, so fictional name here), "What do you think of Smith & Jones Vineyard's red?" though that company didn't actually make a red, just a white. He said, "Oh, it's the BEST!!!"
Foolish, foolish horndog.
posted by orange swan at 10:35 AM on July 6, 2023
We rearranged the keycaps on his keyboard. He called IT because his password wouldn't work.
*snerk* An ex-boyfriend was the IT guy for a similar case of this happening.
He used to do IT support for Bloomberg.com, and one day he got a call from someone who said that their keyboard had a weird bug; the M's were coming out as N's, and vice-versa. He went up to investigate.
The complainant shared an office with 3 other guys, all of whom were pointedly staring at their own screens when he got there. He sat at the complainant's desk, typed a couple random phrases that used both letters, and saw them come up fine on the screen. "Looks good to me," he said.
"Hang on, let me try," said the complainant. And he sat down....and began typing the same phrase, something short like "morning announcement", himself, in a painfully slow hunt-and-peck way ("okay, there's the m.....okay, and then there's the o....and the r....and there's the n....") and didn't even get halfway through before pointing at the screen and saying "look, it came out as 'normimg'."
And my ex had already noticed something that the hunt-and-peck guy hadn't caught - the M key and N key on his keyboard had been switched.
"Hmm," he said, pretending to look thoughtful. "I have an idea what might be going on. But it'll take me a little while - why don't you go get some coffee or something, and come back in fifteen minutes and we can check." The complainant agreed and left.
Then my ex turned to the other three guys, all of whom were still facing their screens. "Okay," he told them. "He's coming back in 15 minutes. I am going to come back in thirteen minutes, and the keys had better be switched back when I get back. If they are, I won't say anything." He then left himself.
Thirteen minutes later he returned, and the keys were back the way they were supposed to be; two minutes later the complainant came back, successfully typed a test phrase, and thanked him. He nodded and left.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:37 AM on July 6, 2023 [6 favorites]
*snerk* An ex-boyfriend was the IT guy for a similar case of this happening.
He used to do IT support for Bloomberg.com, and one day he got a call from someone who said that their keyboard had a weird bug; the M's were coming out as N's, and vice-versa. He went up to investigate.
The complainant shared an office with 3 other guys, all of whom were pointedly staring at their own screens when he got there. He sat at the complainant's desk, typed a couple random phrases that used both letters, and saw them come up fine on the screen. "Looks good to me," he said.
"Hang on, let me try," said the complainant. And he sat down....and began typing the same phrase, something short like "morning announcement", himself, in a painfully slow hunt-and-peck way ("okay, there's the m.....okay, and then there's the o....and the r....and there's the n....") and didn't even get halfway through before pointing at the screen and saying "look, it came out as 'normimg'."
And my ex had already noticed something that the hunt-and-peck guy hadn't caught - the M key and N key on his keyboard had been switched.
"Hmm," he said, pretending to look thoughtful. "I have an idea what might be going on. But it'll take me a little while - why don't you go get some coffee or something, and come back in fifteen minutes and we can check." The complainant agreed and left.
Then my ex turned to the other three guys, all of whom were still facing their screens. "Okay," he told them. "He's coming back in 15 minutes. I am going to come back in thirteen minutes, and the keys had better be switched back when I get back. If they are, I won't say anything." He then left himself.
Thirteen minutes later he returned, and the keys were back the way they were supposed to be; two minutes later the complainant came back, successfully typed a test phrase, and thanked him. He nodded and left.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:37 AM on July 6, 2023 [6 favorites]
I used to work with a high maintenance person named Amanda so I nicknamed her Demanda.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:54 AM on July 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by kirkaracha at 10:54 AM on July 6, 2023 [4 favorites]
When we had a desk move around the office the phone on my new desk had a cord on the receiver that was horribly kinked and twisted, and no amount of hanging it to try to let it unravel worked - it just went right back to how it was, making it virtually unusable, it was about 6" long all twisted up.
I asked IT for a new receiver and was laughed at and told to suck it up.
I left it a week or so and then came in super early one morning, unplugged my receiver, went up four floors to IT to the desk of the guy I'd spoken to, and swapped the receivers over.
posted by essexjan at 12:30 PM on July 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
I asked IT for a new receiver and was laughed at and told to suck it up.
I left it a week or so and then came in super early one morning, unplugged my receiver, went up four floors to IT to the desk of the guy I'd spoken to, and swapped the receivers over.
posted by essexjan at 12:30 PM on July 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
When I was fired from my first office job after college, I stole the stapler of the guy I liked the least. He had his name on it, unlike anyone else at the office, and something about that bothered me, GABE, ok?
posted by tiny frying pan at 12:33 PM on July 6, 2023
posted by tiny frying pan at 12:33 PM on July 6, 2023
« Older Fungus-Eating Flowers:Orchids, Climate Change... | “What are we learning when we discover that... Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
Show of hands, who else wants to meet Prof.'s Fish and Rock?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:21 PM on July 5, 2023 [34 favorites]