Killer Carp Must Die!

September 16, 2002 11:14 AM

Killer Carp Must Die! Biological control of invasive species is one solution, but I prefer to support small business. Forget about avoiding perverse incentives, just consider the aesthetic merits of hats over haemorrhages. Of course even the commercial solution can be ugly.
posted by stinglessbee (4 comments total)

Injected with "daughterless" genes, the fish will produce only male offspring and thus spawn the seeds of their own destruction.

Didn't these fools read Jurassic Park? We already know what happens when you create a terrifying race of single-gender creatures: they start changing sex spontaneously, and then spit black goo in your eyes, and then eat your face.

YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW FISH UP! DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
posted by Danelope at 11:36 AM on September 16, 2002

Great post. I especially appreciated the third link. I got a nice chuckle out of considering PETA's reaction to Akuba Hats.
I would gladly support a harvesting proposal for bufo marinus that resulted from the legalization of DMT. Sign me up - I'll buy a boatload. Should help keep the Aussies from stripping all the bark of their acacia maidenii, too. That desmanthus illinoiensis is just too much hassle for me.
posted by Nicolae Carpathia at 1:18 PM on September 16, 2002

All I ask for is some frickin carp with lasers in its eyes, but no, you come back with some kind of genetically engineered wonder fish. bah.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:21 PM on September 16, 2002

Watch out for those cane toads Nicolae -- when we dissected them as part of freshman biology there was a strict warning not to eat any unless you really wanted a heart attack.

More news on culling for fun and profit -- this time it's wild horses.
posted by stinglessbee at 11:55 AM on September 17, 2002