The United States has invited you to "War on Iraq"

September 16, 2002 12:13 PM

The United States has invited you to "War on Iraq"
posted by mathowie (38 comments total)

BYOB - Bring Your Own Bombs, I take it...
posted by kahboom at 12:21 PM on September 16, 2002

"has been invited you?"
posted by aznblader at 12:21 PM on September 16, 2002

"has been invited you?"

WHAT
THE
FUCK
MATT?

By the way, for those who may not know it, defectiveyeti.com is run by the charming and vivacious, Shadowkeeper.
posted by machaus at 12:25 PM on September 16, 2002

all your inviteds have been to us.

LOVE the UAE's response. *snicker*
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:26 PM on September 16, 2002

I've been reading defectiveyeti for a couple a months now, had no idea it was shadowkeeper. Thanks, machaus.
posted by Ufez Jones at 12:26 PM on September 16, 2002

[this is good]
posted by Jeremy at 12:32 PM on September 16, 2002

I think Matt was trying to use the subjunctive.
posted by panopticon at 12:59 PM on September 16, 2002

Goddamned Switzerland never commits to any of my party Evites. "Oh, I don't know if I can make it... I'd betterkeep my options open..."

Bugger off, chocolate-and-cheese-heads. You're either with us or against us.
posted by sixfoot6 at 1:11 PM on September 16, 2002

Anyone notice the classy gesture Shadowkeeper made in his post about being Mefi'd? Now *that's* a blogger with style.
posted by mediareport at 1:21 PM on September 16, 2002

What's the menu to be served?
posted by Postroad at 1:36 PM on September 16, 2002

What's the menu to be served?

Most likely, a heaping serving of iron-fisted justice, followed by a nice big slice of liberty pie.
posted by monosyllabic at 1:40 PM on September 16, 2002

mmmm....pie
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:42 PM on September 16, 2002

I like pie.

I hope liberty tastes like apples.
posted by trioperative at 1:49 PM on September 16, 2002

has been invited you

has invited you

Oh, for the power to retroactively edit my posts!
posted by timeistight at 1:50 PM on September 16, 2002

I hope liberty tastes like apples.

Also, baseball, hot dogs, and Chevrolet.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:52 PM on September 16, 2002

Hm- odd that Israel wasn't even on the guest list... ;)
posted by hincandenza at 1:54 PM on September 16, 2002

Oh, for the power to retroactively edit my posts!
posted by timeistight at 1:50 PM PST on September 16

He forgot to put a period at the end though. Three's the charm? ;-)
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:54 PM on September 16, 2002

can i bring my bike?
posted by clavdivs at 2:04 PM on September 16, 2002

unfortunately liberty pie is off the menu (it's only half-baked). Instead there will be a finger buffet with unexpoded cluster bomblets in an oil marinade.
posted by gravelshoes at 2:08 PM on September 16, 2002

can I bring my own condiments?
posted by trioperative at 2:13 PM on September 16, 2002

Dear United States,
when come back, bring pie.
mmmm, pie...
posted by blue_beetle at 2:19 PM on September 16, 2002

triop: only if they burn well. I hear there is going to be some sort of flambé for pudding. chefs speciality.
posted by gravelshoes at 2:20 PM on September 16, 2002

Yeah, props to Shadowkeeper for sharing the wealth.

I still feel obligated to point out inaccuracies -- most of the "no" states are only opposed to that bugaboo of bugaboos, the "unilateral" attack on Iraq. Qatar, Turkey, and Kuwait were clearly Yes, Jordan a Maybe, and of NATO nations only Germany has insisted they will send no troops under any circumstances (but they're embroiled in an election campaign). And Switzerland a Maybe? Talk about WHAT. THE. FUCK. They're only just now joining the UN. The only place abroad they send troops is the Vatican.
posted by dhartung at 2:35 PM on September 16, 2002

Him, yes him, the one with a Halbred.

(hey, they still do 1d10d on small to medium sized creatures)
posted by clavdivs at 2:42 PM on September 16, 2002

Instead there will be a finger buffet

mmmm... fingers
posted by moss at 2:47 PM on September 16, 2002

Dear George,

Thank you for the invitation. However, we regret that we will be unable to attend.

Warmest regards,

Chuq

(My momma raised me properly. This boy knows how to R.S.V.P.)
posted by chuq at 2:52 PM on September 16, 2002

evite: The quickest, easiest way to expose the true Axis of Evil. I'm looking in your direction, you 'No' countries...
posted by Danelope at 3:11 PM on September 16, 2002

that Saddam's such a party pooper...
posted by gyc at 4:06 PM on September 16, 2002

Shadowkeeper is a fine, fine human being.
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:09 PM on September 16, 2002

... yup, we may get rained out and have to reschedule
posted by sheauga at 4:16 PM on September 16, 2002

"Iraq says it will allow U.N. weapons inspectors to immediately return to the country without conditions, but a senior U.S. official discounted the announcement, saying "we do not take what Saddam says at face value."

Will not negotiate...... Must not negotiate...... Talking may leave the other person alive..... Must not negotiate.....

Shrub.
posted by MaddCutty at 4:27 PM on September 16, 2002

If rescheduling is in order, may I suggest that we try for a date before November 5th?
posted by mediareport at 4:27 PM on September 16, 2002

Dear George--
My my my. Seems that our last little kafuffle is all water under the bridge now. You never called, you didn't write, no flowers sent after that little Kashmir blowup this past year, and now it seems you think Pakistan is hotter than I am. Just because it's next to Afghanistan. What-ever!

I always knew you didn't love me. But now this: you want to get in bed with me again? Hah. I think not, my once-love. You can't have us both, you two-timer! Never call me again (at least until you dump that little minx Pakistan. Then I'm in for the long haul).

India
posted by readymade at 4:47 PM on September 16, 2002

I know your not inviting me was just an oversight as you're probably really busy organizing this huge party with all your friends. But just in case you ask - I can't make it - still cleaning up after the last party... have a blast.

Afghanistan

(ps - if you have any leftovers you need to get rid of let me know - we'd love more of those yellow party-food bags)
posted by hypnorich at 6:33 PM on September 16, 2002

Just a note to let you know I heard about the bash - those UN gossips, you know, what a set of cackling hens - but I'm not upset about being excluded. I was going to spend the weekend with North Korea anyway, working on this axis project we have going, so could you guys try to keep the noise down?

Cheers

Iran
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:59 PM on September 16, 2002

Listen, keep the noise down, eh, and can we remember that firecrackers scare the pets. Even if they do land where they're thrown.

If you must have these do's, bear in mind some of the neighbours have to get up for work the next day.

Thanks.

Jordan
posted by dash_slot- at 11:04 PM on September 16, 2002

Hey George,

Hmm, we've noticed we're not on the invite list--thats OK, we're a little short on cash these days anyway.

But while we're on the subject, could you invade down here? Anywhere is fine, heck, we've got plenty of saber rattling wacko leaders who kill lots of people. We could really use some regime change/nation building action.

luv,
sub saharan Africa
posted by noodler at 12:51 AM on September 17, 2002

Hello Mr George,

We were not invited to your party but we know you as a good friend of reputation.

We wish to inform you of an overpayment of $300,000,000 (US Dollars) to the Iraq Goventment Arms Fund of 1980-1988.

We look for partner to aid us in dealing with this overpayment who will receive money of 20% value of the funds as transferred via international bank.

Please send passport.

Much praise and regardsness

Nigeria
posted by i_cola at 3:20 AM on September 17, 2002