An image of Hercules, standing alone, carrying his club above his head

January 20, 2024 12:49 AM

Steven Morris (The Guardian, 01/01/2024), "Cerne Abbas giant is Hercules and was army meeting point, say historians" (archive.org). Thomas Morcom and Helen Gittos (Speculum, Jan. 2024), "The Cerne Giant in Its Early Medieval Context" (PDF): "This huge, naked figure was cut into a Dorset hillside not, as many have supposed, in prehistory, nor in the early modern period, but in the early Middle Ages ... In this article, we propose an explanation for when and why he was originally cut as an image of Hercules." Hercules in the Old English Liber Monstrorum. Hercules in an Old English dream book. Hercules in Ælfric's Lives of Saints. Previouslies: 2021. 2019, 2007, and also 2007.
posted by Wobbuffet (19 comments total)

One correction: I now think the site with the Liber Monstrorum has mistakenly edited "A translation" to say "A translation of the Old English text." I had taken that plus the main article's comment that "This text survives in five manuscripts written in the ninth and tenth centuries" to mean one had been a translation from Latin into Old English--something that happened with Wonders of the East. But as far as I can tell, those Liber Monstrorum manuscripts were in Latin, although composed in England.
posted by Wobbuffet at 1:43 AM on January 20 [4 favorites]

Whoa! Very cool! I appreciate the different kinds of evidence they drew on. Intriguing, the idea about it being a muster point, and the changes in mustering leading to disuse. The iconographic stuff strikes me as potentially compelling, but I look forward to academic responses.
posted by cupcakeninja at 3:51 AM on January 20 [1 favorite]

I just figured it was an ad for the Old Dorset Tourism Board. “Welcome to Cerne Abbas; we’re happy to see you!”
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:05 AM on January 20 [8 favorites]

These characteristics are typical of a special type of meeting place known as “a hanging promontory” site thought to be places for meetings of large groups.

That "promontory" is doing the opposite of hanging
posted by chavenet at 5:18 AM on January 20 [12 favorites]

It seems to have been firmly dated as much earlier now, but I've a;ways been rather fond of the theory that the giant is a caricature of Oliver Cromwell,
posted by Fuchsoid at 5:54 AM on January 20 [2 favorites]

See also the Fovant Badges, in which World War I soldiers carved their regimental symbols into a hillside in a similar manner. Perhaps this form of demonstration is a common human impulse, particularly when offered a chalk hillside. I'm certain drawing giant dicks on things is a common human impulse.

Hat tip to the Hacker News discussion for this comparable.
posted by Nelson at 6:21 AM on January 20 [5 favorites]

My favourite thing about the giant is that apparently during WWII he was covered up with turf so as to deny Luftwaffe bombers a useful waypoint. I suppose that makes sense, but I suppose Plan B was to to put dozens more images of massive naked men with hard-ons on various hillsides to confuse navigation, which is an amusing prospect.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:10 AM on January 20 [9 favorites]

Aw man, did we really just pass up the chance to use the “432inchesofcock” tag? Again?

Tsk, tsk.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 8:22 AM on January 20 [3 favorites]

I'm will to have a post made about me if needed.

oh that say 432 inches not 4 to 3 inches ... nevermind
posted by MonsieurPEB at 8:25 AM on January 20 [3 favorites]

That "promontory" is doing the opposite of hanging

Oh, it's just happy to see you.
posted by thivaia at 11:36 AM on January 20 [1 favorite]

I think I remember (reading? hearing?) somewhere that originally he had a navel, that was at some point merged with his previously more standard-proportion member to make him the "giant" he is today.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:57 AM on January 20 [1 favorite]

I think I remember (reading? hearing?) somewhere that originally he had a navel, that was at some point merged with his previously more standard-proportion member to make him the "giant" he is today.

Another historical landmark falls victim to the henbane epidemic
posted by tigrrrlily at 12:16 PM on January 20 [2 favorites]

I always love the Loremen:
J: Where is the Cerne Abbas Giant?
A: In Dorset?
J: Endorse it? I bloody love it!
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:46 PM on January 20 [5 favorites]

I don’t know what effect these men will have on the enemy, but by God they frighten me
posted by Phanx at 1:53 PM on January 20 [2 favorites]

prehistoric drawing of a dude with a raised, large, lumpy club and a stick in his hand.
posted by tigrrrlily at 8:30 PM on January 20 [3 favorites]

I larfed tigrrrlily, ace riff on The Staff of Life. Funnier than those meat buns in the other thread.
posted by BobTheScientist at 11:29 PM on January 20 [1 favorite]

oh that say 432 inches not 4 to 3 inches ... nevermind

It could be a countdown: “Four… three… two…”. We all know what it’s like to swim in cold water, right, fellas?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:03 AM on January 21 [1 favorite]

I’m quite local to this and while it is interesting to see the history unfold like this the best bit remains that if you visit the town of Cern Abbas you can buy clocks where his willy is the second hand and no amount of historical detective work will ever stop those being funny.
posted by dowcrag at 10:23 AM on January 21 [7 favorites]

dowcrag: clocks where his willy is the second hand

Hell yes. (YT)
posted by Too-Ticky at 10:55 AM on January 21 [4 favorites]