I mean, if you're going to go to the Maldives, do it in style!

February 18, 2024 2:59 PM

THE RITZ-CARLTON MALDIVES | Phenomenal private island resort (full tour) [1h12m] is a wordless tour of the resort. You won't get any perky central casting aspiring host here; it's images and music and an extremely engineered hotel resort that is basically at one with the water. I can't afford it and am not really into oceans, but if I were and could, this could be amazing.
posted by hippybear (43 comments total)

I'm just posting this video because it looks amazing. I know the post feels like me shilling, but I'm only shilling the video, really. I post a lot of videos here.
posted by hippybear at 3:05 PM on February 18 [3 favorites]

Kind of Pepsi Deep Blue, but if you like water and beaches, its soothing.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:12 PM on February 18

Pepsi Deep Blue Sea
posted by hippybear at 3:19 PM on February 18 [2 favorites]

Soothing except I can’t help wondering how long before the rising sea swallows it all.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:20 PM on February 18 [6 favorites]

Or even just one good storm?
posted by hippybear at 3:22 PM on February 18 [1 favorite]

Or even just one good storm?

I think their tsunami plan is "hope there isn't one."

Does anyone know what currency the prices on the menus are in?

That long, curved wooden walkway that goes to the room-pods, with no railing, is going to turn out badly for any number of drunk people stumbling, or worse, biking, their way back from the bar in the dark.

Lastly, I'm curious where the sewage goes, but that's probably a question better left unanswered if you are staying there.
posted by Dip Flash at 3:34 PM on February 18 [7 favorites]

It looks pleasant! I'll probably never go there, but I bet it'd be a nice few days if I did
posted by potrzebie at 3:35 PM on February 18

I'm curious where the sewage goes,--Dip Flash

It is not really the kind of place I'd go to, but I had to look it up and found this:

All islands have their own sewage treatment plants. The pipes are hung underneath the wooden walkways - both inbound and outbound.

On some islands the pipes can work mostly by gravity on their return to the island - whereas on islands where there is a long run from the water villas back to shore you will sometimes see (but very rarely hear) a pumping station halfway along the longest jetties.

The islands are multi million dollar investments - so setting up and operating a water treatment plant is certainly within the scope of the islands.

Thanks

Richard from PurelyMaldives
posted by eye of newt at 3:40 PM on February 18 [6 favorites]

Does anyone know what currency the prices on the menus are in?

What currency is used in the Maldives?

The currency used throughout the Maldives is Maldivian rufiyaa however the Euro and the US dollar are also widely accepted. All major credit cards can be used at resorts, restaurants, and shops in Male and several other islands. Withdrawing money from ATMs is not usually possible. GoAway.com
posted by hippybear at 3:42 PM on February 18

Would like to try staying here <3
posted by Didnt_do_enough at 3:44 PM on February 18

Does anyone know what currency the prices on the menus are in?

According to the fine print at the bottom of the menu (1:05:02), "Prices are in US Dollars and subject to 10% service charge and 12% goods and services tax".

I just looked at Marriott's website. A week there during a randomly-chosen week in August is around $2000 / night. And more like $3000 if you want things like a flight from the main airport to this island, and food included in your bill.

This is not a place for drunken spring-breakers.

That said, there are much cheaper options. The same Marriott page that includes this hotel also includes their cheaper places in the Maldives, that start as low as $300 / night. And I regularly see good deals on Slickdeals for stays in the Maldives.

Of course, you still have the 24-hour+ airplane flight to get there.
posted by Hatashran at 3:46 PM on February 18

According to the fine print at the bottom of the menu (1:05:02), "Prices are in US Dollars and subject to 10% service charge and 12% goods and services tax".

Thanks, I clearly didn't squint well enough. So the food prices aren't what I'd call cheap, but also not wildly high, particularly compared to $2000/night rooms.

I'm sure staying there is very lovely, but sadly above my budget.
posted by Dip Flash at 3:50 PM on February 18

How can I fly to Australia in fewer hours than to the Maldives? I'm sure it has to do with runway lengths and refueling possibilities, but still...
posted by hippybear at 3:50 PM on February 18

Not a tropic or shore person, but I did stay at the Ritz Carlton in Paris back in the day. They do it right. The flowers in a vase in the lobby were bigger than my apartment... spectacular.
posted by Czjewel at 3:50 PM on February 18 [1 favorite]

The Maldives is further away and there are no direct flights to the Maldives from the United States, so you're going to stop in Singapore, Dubai, or some other hub in that part of the world.

Seattle-Sydney is 7750 miles while Seattle-Malé (The main international airport in the Maldives) is 8740 miles.

Any hypothetical direct flight from the US would go over places you don't want to fly over, such as Iran, Russia, and the North Pole.
posted by Hatashran at 4:03 PM on February 18

I would like to have the kind of job that affords me the opportunity to take enough vacation days for a trip to the Maldives to make sense.
posted by emelenjr at 4:27 PM on February 18 [2 favorites]

<M. Night Shyamalan twist>

It's actually a prison colony!

</M. Night Shyamalan twist>
posted by gwint at 4:30 PM on February 18 [2 favorites]

It certainly looks lovely. I'd never stay in a place that charges $2k per night but, if I did stay there, I wonder what I'd actually do all day? I mean, I love swimming and fishing and drinking and eating, but what else is there at that location? I think there's a clue in the sort of people that stay there when each room has a swimming pool right next to a beautiful clear sandy lagoon that would be far more pleasurable to actually swim in.
posted by dg at 4:43 PM on February 18 [6 favorites]

I'm obsessed with huts on water, so I am totally going to watch this.

But I also love how travel photography is always devoid of people, and therefore not what the actual experience is like at all.
posted by armacy at 4:57 PM on February 18 [1 favorite]

That's typically done so the viewer will imagine themselves there experiencing whatever is in the shot.

I LOVE the ocean so yeah, I want to go to there (to quote 30 Rock).
posted by VTX at 5:29 PM on February 18

Having been to the Maldives the resorts are very carefully booked to actually allow those sort of beach experiences, there was basically never anyone in my view and I only occasionally passed other couples on the paths. I would leave my cabin and wade straight into the sea where I could see parrot fish, sharks and turtles before I was even out of my depth in the water. The resorts are highly artificial (the beaches raked and swept before dawn by hand, seaweed and such removed from the beach continuously during the day and added to the islands mass, sand being pumped from the ocean bed back onto the island), but the nature is real and indescribable.
posted by Iteki at 5:37 PM on February 18 [4 favorites]

These are not huts on the water...

There is a picture we have from a newspaper or something, that was in Fiji or Tahiti that was huts on the water. Still looked pretty sweet. This place is way more than huts. Crazy.

Your own infinity pool and a butler? WTF?
posted by Windopaene at 5:42 PM on February 18

Um, I was somewhat under the impression that ethical folk should avoid the Maldives due to corruption, creeping authoritarianism (eg: you cannot interact with locals, only hotel staff) and mistreatment of immigrant labor.

Has that changed? I’m genuinely asking, not being snide.
posted by aramaic at 6:27 PM on February 18 [6 favorites]

This looks like a teaser for the next season of "White Lotus". Pass.
posted by metametamind at 7:10 PM on February 18

Well aramaic, people flying to the Maldives for an $1800 a night hotel room might think those are all good things...
posted by Windopaene at 8:02 PM on February 18 [2 favorites]

I've stayed at the Ritz-Carlton in Istanbul. I thought that was extravagant... but nothing compared to the video.

I think it's the cynic in me that wants to change the soothing music to... Clampdown by the Clash.
posted by dfm500 at 8:59 PM on February 18 [2 favorites]

I believe Cara and Nate's recent video "We Slept in the World's Most Expensive Underwater Hotel " was maybe also filmed here.
posted by rongorongo at 9:13 PM on February 18

Reminds me that I live in a different world than the folks who can afford this stuff.

In a similar "if you have to ask" vein, I got caught up for a bit in the LoriRocks777 youtube channel, in-cab videos driving (mostly) Swiss trains through their lovely countryside. Being a total dork, I usually opened google earth in another monitor and "followed" the train. Once in St. Moritz I saw a hotel from the train which looked "nice" and thought I'd see what the room rates were, via the hotel web site. They started at $760/night for something pretty basic and went all the way to $6,800/night.
posted by maxwelton at 9:14 PM on February 18 [3 favorites]

Roughly 16 years ago, Mrs. Ghidorah and I got married. We looked around at various honeymoon places, and we looked very longingly at the Maldives. I was entranced by the idea of a hammock just over the ocean, and really, really wanted to go. We realized, though, that for the same cost as a flight and two nights in the Maldives, we could spend six nights in a private villa (with a private pool) in Ubud, on Bali. I'd never trade the honeymoon we had for anything, but I also wouldn't turn down a trip to the Maldives, if anyone is offering.

Anyone?
posted by Ghidorah at 10:00 PM on February 18 [1 favorite]

This ain't a place normies pay for, this is the kind of place you go with a bunch of miles and hotel points your employer paid for. I once had plans to go with my SO since we had the miles/points between us for first class flights and a couple of weeks at the resort, but for various reasons it never happened. Sad, since we've both always had jobs where taking a couple of weeks off is fine and expected.

That said, between taxes and fees, food, and incidentals we were still looking at a couple grand in cash. Cheap for what you get, but not at all cheap in absolute terms.
posted by wierdo at 2:13 AM on February 19

It certainly looks lovely. I'd never stay in a place that charges $2k per night but, if I did stay there, I wonder what I'd actually do all day?

I'd be too busy calculating what every second cost me. And if I was having that equivalent amount of fun. God forbid I'd have so much as a headache or a minute overstepping at those prices.
posted by tiny frying pan at 6:23 AM on February 19 [1 favorite]

A gentle reminder that there is absolutely no freedom of religion in Maldives, and that openly worshipping or even expressing any religious sentiment other than the official state religion is cause for imprisonment. I don't visit such countries.
posted by 1adam12 at 6:28 AM on February 19 [3 favorites]

The best video I've seen on this channel is the Antarctica camp. It's something like a rich hippie Mars base.
posted by euphorb at 6:41 AM on February 19

Um, I was somewhat under the impression that ethical folk should avoid the Maldives due to corruption, creeping authoritarianism (eg: you cannot interact with locals, only hotel staff) and mistreatment of immigrant labor.

The Venn diagram of "ethical people" and "can easily afford a $3k/night stay in the Maldives" certainly has overlap, but I'm willing to say it probably isn't large. In other words, the majority of their client base is not all that concerned about those kinds of issues except in the abstract.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:02 AM on February 19 [2 favorites]

I really hadn't noticed the "no railings" thing until someone here pointed it out. I guess with ocean all around, you're not worried about people having a hard landing, but you do make sure to have elegantly displayed life rings posted around regularly to help people who can't swim.

Once the no railings thing was pointed out, it all turned into a bit of a Death Star interior sort of situation in my mind.

Still, it looks lovely.
posted by hippybear at 7:12 AM on February 19 [2 favorites]

No one is endorsing the country or it's government or even the existence of this resort.

But in a more just world where a resort like that would be accessible for most, actually be sustainable and good for the local environment and economy, holy hell would that be a nice place to stay. Like, objectively the pyramids and Giza are an amazing feat of human engineering and sheer labor. That doesn't mean I'm endorsing slave labor.

They say that they worked with marine biologists in designing the place to minimize it's impact and something about sustainability but I'm not taking those claims at face value. I'm sure it's true, just not as true as they'd like us to assume.

I remember seeing an episode of MTV cribs with Richard Branson's private island. All of the structures were well integrated into the island. They found places where the granite bedrock of the island was nearly exposed and used that for the foundation and floors. Some of them had enough protection from the wind by the vegetation that they didn't have doors (but did have a Mariah Carey in a hammock). I'm sure there were flaws and BS but I really like that concept for a resort. The eco tourism aspect of that kind of thing would hopefully be enough for the place to have incentive to improve and protect the area and be good guests to the locals (mutually beneficial rather than exploitive), help regrow some coral, be powered with renewables exclusively, and all that kind of good stuff. They could still have rooms on the water like the Ritz, here too.

Apologies for a bit of a ramble but I'd like to see progressive environmental regulations. The idea being that the more expensive, luxurious, and bigger whatever thing you want to build is, the more you're required to work towards sustainability. So if someone wants to build a $4,000,000 mansion, it's going to be the most sustainable and efficient house it can be, clearly that's the kind of person that can afford it.
posted by VTX at 7:59 AM on February 19

Um, I was somewhat under the impression that ethical folk should avoid the Maldives due to corruption, creeping authoritarianism (eg: you cannot interact with locals, only hotel staff) and mistreatment of immigrant labor.

Has that changed? I’m genuinely asking, not being snide.

I think it's still the case. Not sure, a while ago we were looking into places for "the dive trip of a lifetime" and the Maldives were in the mix but we took it out because the whole country just doesn't jive with our values and it seemed like a bad idea to go spend our money there.

Not that we'd have stayed a place like that, we were looking for the kind of boat that wakes you up at 6am so you can go diving before breakfast!

They say that they worked with marine biologists in designing the place to minimize it's impact and something about sustainability but I'm not taking those claims at face value. I'm sure it's true, just not as true as they'd like us to assume.

Huts over light turquoise usually means over sand, and while there's still life in that area there's a lot less of it, so you can probably built it without too much harm, the pillars will also form their own mini reefs over time.

To be honest, if you you're going to spend what's surely a giga ton of money to build this in this amazing natural setting, you'd be smart to work with marine biologists to make sure you preserve the natural setting, that's a big part of you why people will pay that kind of money to stay there.
posted by WaterAndPixels at 8:40 AM on February 19 [3 favorites]

This ain't a place normies pay for, this is the kind of place you go with a bunch of miles and hotel points your employer paid for.

Yep, MLE is one of the Flyertalk holy grails.
posted by praemunire at 9:04 AM on February 19

I hear you, it's just that giga-ton of money and capitalism still leave me skeptical. Like someday we'll find out that they generated power using imported, underpaid laborers whose passports were taken shoveling raw coal into a giant boiler. Or something less extreme, who knows.

We've already got the milkshake duck thing going on with the location so I'm assuming the same is true with the environmentalism claims.

I can totally see what you mean about the rooms though. Having reefs grow around those pillars would protect the island and reduce effort it takes to maintain the islands and they'd give the whole structure a lot more stability. That part does seem like a win-win-win.
posted by VTX at 9:05 AM on February 19

VTX, I'm absolutely convinced the labour practices involved in building that thing were appalling, 'built on fair practices' is not what they're selling so I'm sure they did the minimum in that area.

And I should also add this, they'll protect nature as long as it's the cool stuff people want to see, that biologist will have to work extra hard to make them protect the smaller stuff that most people gloss over.
posted by WaterAndPixels at 9:35 AM on February 19 [2 favorites]

I mean, I'm more of a Sicily White Lotus Girl and I really wish there was more shade by those cottage pools but I'd stay here if someone else paid for it.
posted by thivaia at 7:30 AM on February 20 [1 favorite]

The 1% are welcome here, i.e. a form of economic discrimination.
posted by DJZouke at 12:30 PM on February 20

The description of the video and the link being yellow for me meant it has to be one of Dr LTE's videos - spot on! I love all of his business / first class travel as well as his hotel videos.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 7:15 AM on February 23