We are truly in the golden era of absurd TT helmets
March 6, 2024 11:55 AM Subscribe
Look, I’m sure a ton of science and hundreds of thousands of dollars (if not more) worth of research went into creating Giro’s new time trial helmet, which was recently unveiled on Visma-Lease a Bike’s Instagram. And I’m sure its design helps save a watt or two, which, at the upper echelon of bicycle racing, absolutely matters. Especially when you’re talking time trials. But… and it’s a big but… look at this thing. from Visma-Lease a Bike’s New Time Trial Helmets Are Ridiculous [Bicycling]
What a dickhead
posted by gottabefunky at 12:00 PM on March 6 [4 favorites]
posted by gottabefunky at 12:00 PM on March 6 [4 favorites]
Yes very good. As a longtime vocal supporter of silly hats, I can't stress enough how pleased I am by the bold innovations in silliness happening in the cycling space.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 12:14 PM on March 6 [23 favorites]
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 12:14 PM on March 6 [23 favorites]
When the rider's on the bike in an aero position it looks pretty good. I mean not good good but it definitely looks aerodynamic which is the goal here right? At least until the UCI gets involved.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:37 PM on March 6 [3 favorites]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:37 PM on March 6 [3 favorites]
Well I know what my evil legion is wearing the next time I run an RPG game
posted by AngelWuff at 12:39 PM on March 6 [5 favorites]
posted by AngelWuff at 12:39 PM on March 6 [5 favorites]
Here's a track helmet (from way back in 2016). Really, we're talking gradations of ridiculousness.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:40 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:40 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
Judge Dredd called, he wants his helmet back
posted by Dr. Twist at 12:44 PM on March 6 [4 favorites]
posted by Dr. Twist at 12:44 PM on March 6 [4 favorites]
Paint it all black, and it's straight out of Dune.
posted by RakDaddy at 12:45 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by RakDaddy at 12:45 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
https://www.google.com/search?q=rocketeer%20helmet
posted by Horkus at 12:46 PM on March 6 [3 favorites]
posted by Horkus at 12:46 PM on March 6 [3 favorites]
Interesting this is making it through to the non-cycling audience. The day it rolled out, I had slept in, as Monday is my day off, I opened up Twitter and I saw enormous yellow helmets in my feed.
To be clear, aero helmet technology is usually providing us something new to chuckle at on a regular basis.
The UCI has just announced a revisitation of TT helmets, and as of next month they are banning the head sock for the Specialized TT helmet, which has been in use for two years.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 12:55 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
To be clear, aero helmet technology is usually providing us something new to chuckle at on a regular basis.
The UCI has just announced a revisitation of TT helmets, and as of next month they are banning the head sock for the Specialized TT helmet, which has been in use for two years.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 12:55 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
Anyone else remember these luge helmets from the '76 Olympics? Perhaps even sillier.
As I understand it, the UCI has begun a review of extreme aero helmets.
posted by adamrice at 12:55 PM on March 6 [4 favorites]
As I understand it, the UCI has begun a review of extreme aero helmets.
posted by adamrice at 12:55 PM on March 6 [4 favorites]
I first saw this when my daughter texted me a picture from a race she was following, making me a proud pappa. Still think the Sweet Protection model is more ridiculous though.
posted by St. Oops at 12:58 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by St. Oops at 12:58 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
"a revisitation of helmets" is a lovely name for an album, by that indie band The Head Sock
posted by chavenet at 12:59 PM on March 6 [5 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 12:59 PM on March 6 [5 favorites]
Thanks for this post.
Now I want to read a long article about the 1989 Tour de France and Greg LeMond's use of an aero helmet, aero handlebars, etc. Maybe this, or this.
posted by box at 1:00 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
Now I want to read a long article about the 1989 Tour de France and Greg LeMond's use of an aero helmet, aero handlebars, etc. Maybe this, or this.
posted by box at 1:00 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
While I'm a life long cyclist but not a total sport/enduro cycling superfan, I really kind of do hate the UCI's rules that have more to do with upholding their very specific notions of cycling traditions over advances in the state of the art and performance of cycling.
I mean if we want to talk about Tour de France traditions they used to raid random cafes and stores on the route for beer, wine and food like marauding bandits, they intentionally smoked tobacco to increase blood flow to the lungs and it probably wasn't uncommon for riders to use stimulants.
While I'm not calling for an arms race of unfettered PEDs, doping or other chemical enhancements because that definitely wouldn't go well - I would love to see a TdF class pro race where any/all cycles were permitted as long as they were human powered.
As in bring on the recumbent bikes and aero-shelled HPVs, no lower limits on weight or aero restrictions on bikes and go all out on the tech. Maybe the only restriction being that you have to ride that one bike for the whole race, but I'm not opposed to swapping to different styles of bikes for different stages and conditions even if that means downhill stages turn into ground luges.
Or going to the other extreme: You get *one* bike choice per stage - or the whole TdF! No fixing mechanicals, no wheel swaps, no hanging on to moving support vehicles while fixing things and maybe eliminate support vehicles entirely, and maybe make the riders fix anything themselves and bring it back to being more self supported. You get a flat? Oh well, you should have picked tougher tires!
I know there's other classes of cycling and racing where they do more of this kind of thing. Randonneuring, audax are examples, and now long haul self supported gravel is a thing where a huge part of the race is self-supported bike camping and the challenges of eating and fueling yourself as a rider.
posted by loquacious at 1:04 PM on March 6 [6 favorites]
I mean if we want to talk about Tour de France traditions they used to raid random cafes and stores on the route for beer, wine and food like marauding bandits, they intentionally smoked tobacco to increase blood flow to the lungs and it probably wasn't uncommon for riders to use stimulants.
While I'm not calling for an arms race of unfettered PEDs, doping or other chemical enhancements because that definitely wouldn't go well - I would love to see a TdF class pro race where any/all cycles were permitted as long as they were human powered.
As in bring on the recumbent bikes and aero-shelled HPVs, no lower limits on weight or aero restrictions on bikes and go all out on the tech. Maybe the only restriction being that you have to ride that one bike for the whole race, but I'm not opposed to swapping to different styles of bikes for different stages and conditions even if that means downhill stages turn into ground luges.
Or going to the other extreme: You get *one* bike choice per stage - or the whole TdF! No fixing mechanicals, no wheel swaps, no hanging on to moving support vehicles while fixing things and maybe eliminate support vehicles entirely, and maybe make the riders fix anything themselves and bring it back to being more self supported. You get a flat? Oh well, you should have picked tougher tires!
I know there's other classes of cycling and racing where they do more of this kind of thing. Randonneuring, audax are examples, and now long haul self supported gravel is a thing where a huge part of the race is self-supported bike camping and the challenges of eating and fueling yourself as a rider.
posted by loquacious at 1:04 PM on March 6 [6 favorites]
Horkus, the rocka-who?
posted by dr_dank at 1:06 PM on March 6 [2 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 1:06 PM on March 6 [2 favorites]
Noted architecture/auto-racing/bicycle racing blogger Kate Wagner should weigh in on these.
posted by TedW at 1:09 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by TedW at 1:09 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
I want to wear the big hat
posted by Going To Maine at 1:22 PM on March 6 [4 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 1:22 PM on March 6 [4 favorites]
What’s attracting the ire of the teams and helmet manufacturers is that these things were developed with the parameters set by the UCI and then approved for use by the UCI. This is emphatically not a situation where the manufacturers went rogue and now the UCI is playing catch-up. This is yet another example of the UCI shifting goal-posts and enforcing/applying rules entirely arbitrarily. I’m not a fan of the helmets either - I like being able to see a face - but if you don’t want massive aero helmets on people, don’t set the design envelope so wide as to permit them.
posted by tim_in_oz at 1:40 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by tim_in_oz at 1:40 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
> TedW: "Bryan Cranston was sporting these 20 years ago!"
I went googling because I could have sworn I've seen aero helmets with some kind of long, exaggerated tail. Turns out, I was thinking of that episode of Malcom In The Middle all along.
posted by mhum at 1:41 PM on March 6 [3 favorites]
I went googling because I could have sworn I've seen aero helmets with some kind of long, exaggerated tail. Turns out, I was thinking of that episode of Malcom In The Middle all along.
posted by mhum at 1:41 PM on March 6 [3 favorites]
I was looking for a picture of the Rapha x Palace EF Pro chicken design helmets but couldn't find a good one.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:11 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:11 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
“It’s in the nature of the UCI to be reactive to things," says Hutchinson. "The UCI can’t go and invent everything and then decide what you’re allowed. They make a set of rules and people then work within the rules. It’s almost a philosophical question. Do you set the rules and then delight in people’s innovation between them or are you trying to achieve something that you have in your head and you’re constantly changing the rules to try to get what you want?”
posted by tim_in_oz at 2:37 PM on March 6 [5 favorites]
posted by tim_in_oz at 2:37 PM on March 6 [5 favorites]
The weird thing about UCI is it simultaneously encourages and forecloses innovation. The cyclists of the Internets are already putting out so many memes with this helmet. Alien Xenomorphs, helmets made out of traffic cones, etc...
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:36 PM on March 6 [2 favorites]
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:36 PM on March 6 [2 favorites]
pretty pretty pretty good captain disillusion cosplay though
posted by MonsieurPEB at 3:43 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by MonsieurPEB at 3:43 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
Reminds me of Alien II.
posted by repoman at 5:10 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by repoman at 5:10 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
Eh, it's the same at the very highest levels of any sport involving machines. Modern F1 cars are the most ridiculous-looking vehicles ever built, but the days of building race cars that look good are long gone. I guess the same applies to cycling - who cares if you look silly when you can win a world championship by doing so?
posted by dg at 6:03 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by dg at 6:03 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
"[T]he unveiling of Giro’s newest time-trial lid on Monday at the opening stage of Tirreno-Adriatico feels like the final piece of evidence I need to acknowledge a reluctant truth: WorldTour kit and bikes are haute couture now."
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 6:29 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 6:29 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
Everybody wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads.
posted by flabdablet at 10:15 PM on March 6 [6 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 10:15 PM on March 6 [6 favorites]
Now I want to read a long article about the 1989 Tour de France and Greg LeMond's use of an aero helmet, aero handlebars, etc. Maybe this, or this.
I absolutely can't believe all those dudes out there just not wearing helmets at all. Wow, the past is nuts.
And sidenote, there is a pink Coors Light hat at the bottom of the second link that I would murder to have.
posted by Literaryhero at 10:35 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
I absolutely can't believe all those dudes out there just not wearing helmets at all. Wow, the past is nuts.
And sidenote, there is a pink Coors Light hat at the bottom of the second link that I would murder to have.
posted by Literaryhero at 10:35 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]
Anyone else remember these luge helmets from the '76 Olympics? Perhaps even sillier.
WE COME FROM FRANCE!
posted by alex_skazat at 8:13 AM on March 7 [2 favorites]
WE COME FROM FRANCE!
posted by alex_skazat at 8:13 AM on March 7 [2 favorites]
Some of those look like they might decrease safety as a trade-off for increasing speed? If I went the sort of speeds we’re talking about on a bicycle, I’d want a helmet designed to the max to protect my head and neck to the greatest extent possible in event of a crash, and wouldn’t care what it looked like. I suppose if I were a competitive cyclist, I’d have different priorities, still not including fashion though.
posted by eviemath at 8:47 PM on March 9
posted by eviemath at 8:47 PM on March 9
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posted by GenjiandProust at 12:00 PM on March 6 [3 favorites]