In Defense of Never Learning How To Cook
April 11, 2024 8:19 PM Subscribe
Finding independence in a perfectly cooked egg I found it while walking through the home-goods section of T.J. Maxx, the American retail equivalent of the Garden of Earthly Delights, at 8:00 on a Tuesday night in 2015.... Somewhere among these novelties I spotted a carelessly abandoned gadget calling itself the Dash Rapid Egg Cooker. The cashier who rang me up did not share my enthusiasm for the cheery cockiness of its packaging, which proclaimed that it “Perfectly Cooks 6 Eggs at a Time!” Baffled, she asked me a question, the answer to which would have embarrassed anyone but me: “Don’t you know how to boil water?”
No. I didn’t
No. I didn’t
So the tantrums she threw in middle school led to her being 22 with no life skills. But navel gazing about it gets you into the NYT. Congrats, I guess.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 8:43 PM on April 11 [18 favorites]
posted by fluttering hellfire at 8:43 PM on April 11 [18 favorites]
That's your takeaway here, really? "Tantrums" and not, say, the desire to escape from intense familial pressure to submit to gendered expectations about a life of housework in service of a husband and children?
posted by drinkyclown at 9:01 PM on April 11 [53 favorites]
posted by drinkyclown at 9:01 PM on April 11 [53 favorites]
I had spent my childhood, teenhood and earliest adulthood consumed with daydreams of an imaginary future in which I lived alone — my only ambition in life. In these painstakingly detailed fantasies, the greatest luxury I could imagine was that my space and my empty hours all belonged to me and me only.
Having lived alone for most of my life now, I had almost forgotten this feeling. The only safety I had in childhood was solitude, and that's carried over into my adult life in a variety of ways. One of which is a fierce, probably pathological, independence.
I can't say that the author of this piece came from an abusive home, of course, but one of the hallmarks of abusive homes is producing young adults who lack random basic life skills. Their parents fail at teaching them to be self-sufficient adults, often on purpose to make sure they remain dependent.
There's nothing quite as terrifying and exhilarating as finding yourself free, out in the world, no longer being abused, and having no idea how to deal with it at all. But you're finally, finally alone. And you can start to build things like a self that seems true, and a life that you like.
Lovely piece. Thank you for posting.
posted by MrVisible at 9:03 PM on April 11 [61 favorites]
Having lived alone for most of my life now, I had almost forgotten this feeling. The only safety I had in childhood was solitude, and that's carried over into my adult life in a variety of ways. One of which is a fierce, probably pathological, independence.
I can't say that the author of this piece came from an abusive home, of course, but one of the hallmarks of abusive homes is producing young adults who lack random basic life skills. Their parents fail at teaching them to be self-sufficient adults, often on purpose to make sure they remain dependent.
There's nothing quite as terrifying and exhilarating as finding yourself free, out in the world, no longer being abused, and having no idea how to deal with it at all. But you're finally, finally alone. And you can start to build things like a self that seems true, and a life that you like.
Lovely piece. Thank you for posting.
posted by MrVisible at 9:03 PM on April 11 [61 favorites]
what if you don't like eggs?
posted by philip-random at 9:11 PM on April 11 [1 favorite]
posted by philip-random at 9:11 PM on April 11 [1 favorite]
She explains it pretty clearly.
The milieu I was raised in tried to drill into me the idea that keeping a home, and the domestic labor it entails — the cooking, the serving, the dusting, the wiping — were acts of profound nobility. That they were crucial to the formation of the only life I was predestined for, one that came prepackaged with a husband and children, two species, I had been warned, that were equally incapable of feeding themselves, and whose supervision would fall to me.posted by TheophileEscargot at 9:13 PM on April 11 [36 favorites]
In rebellion, I refused to learn even a single tenet of good housekeeping. If I remained useless in the kitchen and egregiously incompetent at household chores, then I could at least retain some control over my life — and no amount of yelling, berating or shaming from parents, elders or concerned strangers could sway me from this zealotry.
... the only life I was predestined for, one that came prepackaged with a husband and children ... incapable of feeding themselves, and whose supervision would fall to me.
Those weren't tantrums. She was trying to save herself from the hell of wedded bliss.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:14 PM on April 11 [22 favorites]
Those weren't tantrums. She was trying to save herself from the hell of wedded bliss.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:14 PM on April 11 [22 favorites]
Don't the married folk share nowadays? ..Never married, gay, several live together relationships , started cooking when I was 8...grilled cheese sandwiches,now I'm my seventies and i do admit it's lost a bit of luster.
posted by Czjewel at 9:21 PM on April 11 [2 favorites]
posted by Czjewel at 9:21 PM on April 11 [2 favorites]
Yeah, totally, buying an egg cooker at TJ Maxx is a psychological generational trauma journey worth profiling in the NYT
posted by fluttering hellfire at 9:24 PM on April 11 [17 favorites]
posted by fluttering hellfire at 9:24 PM on April 11 [17 favorites]
Any old numbnuts can get into the NYT. Hell, I got into the NYT once (brief interview).
I absolutely get the logic of not being good at cooking, because I have mostly done it myself. I'm insecure about my cooking because it's complicated and doesn't come out consistently, people actually expect your food to come out good and tasty to eat, kitchens were where my mother (and father if he was around) and I would all get into fights, I associate cooking with screaming and judging, and I don't WANT to have to cook for other people all the time. If you CAN cook, then people will MAKE you cook, and you will have to spend all that time with the family at family gatherings, cooking, screaming, and judging.
I note that I am permanently single and therefore nobody can ever make me cook at home, and what I do make is of the five ingredients or less variety and my food is rarely eaten by anyone else.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:36 PM on April 11 [13 favorites]
I absolutely get the logic of not being good at cooking, because I have mostly done it myself. I'm insecure about my cooking because it's complicated and doesn't come out consistently, people actually expect your food to come out good and tasty to eat, kitchens were where my mother (and father if he was around) and I would all get into fights, I associate cooking with screaming and judging, and I don't WANT to have to cook for other people all the time. If you CAN cook, then people will MAKE you cook, and you will have to spend all that time with the family at family gatherings, cooking, screaming, and judging.
I note that I am permanently single and therefore nobody can ever make me cook at home, and what I do make is of the five ingredients or less variety and my food is rarely eaten by anyone else.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:36 PM on April 11 [13 favorites]
The milieu I was raised in tried to drill into me the idea that keeping a home, and the domestic labor it entails — the cooking, the serving, the dusting, the wiping — were acts of profound nobility.
Profoundly in sympathy with a revolt against being coerced into a life of housework, but...how did she eat, then? Did she literally have her mother cook for her or order takeout every single time she wanted to eat hot food? She never made a grilled cheese for herself at midnight or heated up a can of soup on the stove for lunch? I feel like there's something a little beyond high-minded principle in the mix here.
(And...honestly...caregiving is dignified labor, even if society devalues it, so I'm not in love with how she carelessly frames this. If you thought your mother was degrading herself by cooking for you, probably you shouldn't have been eating her food.)
posted by praemunire at 9:42 PM on April 11 [30 favorites]
Profoundly in sympathy with a revolt against being coerced into a life of housework, but...how did she eat, then? Did she literally have her mother cook for her or order takeout every single time she wanted to eat hot food? She never made a grilled cheese for herself at midnight or heated up a can of soup on the stove for lunch? I feel like there's something a little beyond high-minded principle in the mix here.
(And...honestly...caregiving is dignified labor, even if society devalues it, so I'm not in love with how she carelessly frames this. If you thought your mother was degrading herself by cooking for you, probably you shouldn't have been eating her food.)
posted by praemunire at 9:42 PM on April 11 [30 favorites]
That's where it got for me too - your individual rebellion was still on the back on others carrying out the gendered labour. I don't cook. I also no longer make my mum cook for others - she does her own because she has strict requirements - but otherwise, we do ourselves and/or we buy from meal prep services or from hawkers (an affordable solution in our kind of economy). Same thing with cleaning - sharing the tasks as well as paying for services.
posted by cendawanita at 9:50 PM on April 11 [11 favorites]
posted by cendawanita at 9:50 PM on April 11 [11 favorites]
So the tantrums she threw in middle school led to her being 22 with no life skills. But navel gazing about it gets you into the NYT. Congrats, I guess.
That's the most uncharitable reading of this I can imagine
posted by treepour at 9:54 PM on April 11 [26 favorites]
That's the most uncharitable reading of this I can imagine
posted by treepour at 9:54 PM on April 11 [26 favorites]
My son brings home random things from work and one is a German egg cooker. We scoffed and now I use it daily! The dogs love their boiled eggs and it is so nice to use the little pin and also (this is just me) speak terrible German lovingly to the eggs.
I grew up without household training and learned from books how to cook and clean as a young adult. As soon as possible I gave up on both to pay other people and have no regrets. Cooking if you do not enjoy it is an absolute chore.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 9:56 PM on April 11 [14 favorites]
I grew up without household training and learned from books how to cook and clean as a young adult. As soon as possible I gave up on both to pay other people and have no regrets. Cooking if you do not enjoy it is an absolute chore.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 9:56 PM on April 11 [14 favorites]
That said, if I understand her social milieu right, the gendered expectations are incredibly pervasive and toxic. Perhaps I'll have to check in in a couple of years to see if the connection is made, between the personal and the structural.
There's a flip side to this too: her piece isn't really that radical except in the girlboss sense - she's just now as useless as the bachelor men that same society produced, especially if you're striving/middle-class and above where, "don't disturb, he's studying," (while they're probably gaming or just online) is the get-out-of-jail card for learning household tasks, which for the boys, will not include cooking and cleaning, but god help them all, now doesn't include having any sense of basic janitorial stuff like keeping the garage clean or basic electrical fix stuff or the car maintenance or worse of all, the household management involving bureaucratic paperwork.
posted by cendawanita at 9:57 PM on April 11 [9 favorites]
There's a flip side to this too: her piece isn't really that radical except in the girlboss sense - she's just now as useless as the bachelor men that same society produced, especially if you're striving/middle-class and above where, "don't disturb, he's studying," (while they're probably gaming or just online) is the get-out-of-jail card for learning household tasks, which for the boys, will not include cooking and cleaning, but god help them all, now doesn't include having any sense of basic janitorial stuff like keeping the garage clean or basic electrical fix stuff or the car maintenance or worse of all, the household management involving bureaucratic paperwork.
posted by cendawanita at 9:57 PM on April 11 [9 favorites]
But sure, to be as useless as the men in our society at taking care of the home is something to strive for. I do support women's wrongs.
posted by cendawanita at 10:00 PM on April 11 [15 favorites]
posted by cendawanita at 10:00 PM on April 11 [15 favorites]
what if you don't like eggs?
comes the revolution, all will have eggs
AND LIKE IT
posted by panglos at 10:10 PM on April 11 [3 favorites]
comes the revolution, all will have eggs
AND LIKE IT
posted by panglos at 10:10 PM on April 11 [3 favorites]
Cooking if you do not enjoy it is an absolute chore.
I find regular day-to-day cooking sheer drudgery and spend far more than I should on takeout. I don't romanticize cooking, or any form of housekeeping, which I mostly do begrudgingly and for lack of a better alternative. But my own intense yearning for autonomy has always carried with it the sense that I consequently ought to be prepared to look after myself, one way or another. I didn't always know how that should be done, mind you, and I had plenty of comical mishaps, even disasters, along the way, but it would never have occurred to me that I could simply not know how to prepare the most basic hot food for myself.
Perhaps I'll have to check in in a couple of years to see if the connection is made, between the personal and the structural
If I'm reading this right, she's in her early thirties now, so...this essay would've read differently if she were still actually 22 and hadn't been out of the house long enough to appreciate that caregiving has worth and, for those who choose to live that way, can be an expression of love. I resoundingly rejected my own mother's more conventional choices in the domestic sphere, but I also know she made them out of love for me and my siblings and I respect the commitment involved. (I get that this author felt, accurately, her family was trying to take her choices away from her, but, again, she's old enough now to have a little perspective on the World Outside Her Family.)
posted by praemunire at 10:13 PM on April 11 [8 favorites]
I find regular day-to-day cooking sheer drudgery and spend far more than I should on takeout. I don't romanticize cooking, or any form of housekeeping, which I mostly do begrudgingly and for lack of a better alternative. But my own intense yearning for autonomy has always carried with it the sense that I consequently ought to be prepared to look after myself, one way or another. I didn't always know how that should be done, mind you, and I had plenty of comical mishaps, even disasters, along the way, but it would never have occurred to me that I could simply not know how to prepare the most basic hot food for myself.
Perhaps I'll have to check in in a couple of years to see if the connection is made, between the personal and the structural
If I'm reading this right, she's in her early thirties now, so...this essay would've read differently if she were still actually 22 and hadn't been out of the house long enough to appreciate that caregiving has worth and, for those who choose to live that way, can be an expression of love. I resoundingly rejected my own mother's more conventional choices in the domestic sphere, but I also know she made them out of love for me and my siblings and I respect the commitment involved. (I get that this author felt, accurately, her family was trying to take her choices away from her, but, again, she's old enough now to have a little perspective on the World Outside Her Family.)
posted by praemunire at 10:13 PM on April 11 [8 favorites]
Okay, so, even though it's a personal essay I'm not gonna comment on the author's personal details.
What I am gonna comment on is the glory of the Dash Rapid Egg Cooker. That thing is magical. Everyone in my house knows how to cook and we *still* use it almost every day -- it's especially great for poached eggs to put on ramen. I despise most other unitasker kitchen gadgets (apple slicer/sectioners are ok!) but not that one.
posted by verbminx at 10:22 PM on April 11 [21 favorites]
What I am gonna comment on is the glory of the Dash Rapid Egg Cooker. That thing is magical. Everyone in my house knows how to cook and we *still* use it almost every day -- it's especially great for poached eggs to put on ramen. I despise most other unitasker kitchen gadgets (apple slicer/sectioners are ok!) but not that one.
posted by verbminx at 10:22 PM on April 11 [21 favorites]
I have that egg cooker too. It's great. It plays a perky song when the eggs are ready. When I unplug it, the song's pitch drops in the most cartoonish Doppler-y way and it makes me laugh every time.
posted by What is E. T. short for? at 10:23 PM on April 11 [11 favorites]
posted by What is E. T. short for? at 10:23 PM on April 11 [11 favorites]
I have serious issues with that kind of egg cooker, on a philosophical level. I just cannot get on board with something that makes fried eggs - the best eggs - harder work, relatively speaking, and will thus discourage their consumption. I mean, you live your life how you see fit, I guess, but I will be over here not remotely understanding your life choices.
posted by Dysk at 10:31 PM on April 11 [3 favorites]
posted by Dysk at 10:31 PM on April 11 [3 favorites]
I'll try to be positive here, so: I beg you all to give yourselves permission to buy the few dedicated cooking appliances and tools you will benefit the most from, and to get quality versions of them.
Maybe it is a weird egg cooker. Maybe it is a dehydrator or nice toaster oven. Maybe it is a "fancy" rice cooker/multi-cooker/instant pot that seems like a splurge but will actually see use every day if you let yourself get used to having it around. (this one is me)
I have no need of an oven or a microwave, but I love my induction wok cooker that out performs any electric or even gas cooktop I am likely to have in a home. There are several foods that aren't easier because I have a stand mixer, they became possible because I bought one.
And I should have bought a food processer years before I did. I don't know, there are wise choices to be made, just try to not be a weirdo about it and if the NYTimes asks you to write an article, you probably became a weirdo about it at some point. Good luck!
posted by seraphine at 10:33 PM on April 11 [24 favorites]
Maybe it is a weird egg cooker. Maybe it is a dehydrator or nice toaster oven. Maybe it is a "fancy" rice cooker/multi-cooker/instant pot that seems like a splurge but will actually see use every day if you let yourself get used to having it around. (this one is me)
I have no need of an oven or a microwave, but I love my induction wok cooker that out performs any electric or even gas cooktop I am likely to have in a home. There are several foods that aren't easier because I have a stand mixer, they became possible because I bought one.
And I should have bought a food processer years before I did. I don't know, there are wise choices to be made, just try to not be a weirdo about it and if the NYTimes asks you to write an article, you probably became a weirdo about it at some point. Good luck!
posted by seraphine at 10:33 PM on April 11 [24 favorites]
Gosh I love our egg cooker. I cook breakfast and dinner for my family most days of the week, plus I pack kid school lunches and make my own lunches. That egg cooker is CLUTCH. The eggs are aleast perfect. It’s unfussy and easy. I gave away our instant pot because I didn’t use it enough (so heavy! So cumbersome! Everything except beans takes just as long if not longer!), but that egg cooker is daaaamn useful and gets used 1-2x/week.
posted by samthemander at 10:48 PM on April 11 [1 favorite]
posted by samthemander at 10:48 PM on April 11 [1 favorite]
Oh, no shade on the egg cooker per se. Anything that makes your cooking easier should be embraced. If I was one of those people who got outside a dozen eggs a week, I'm sure I'd be tempted.
posted by praemunire at 10:49 PM on April 11
posted by praemunire at 10:49 PM on April 11
Ok, the first egg is good, but I kinda wanted to know more about how many eggs she ate.
posted by jonbro at 11:01 PM on April 11 [3 favorites]
posted by jonbro at 11:01 PM on April 11 [3 favorites]
Also: If you want to feel like an incompetent dork in the kitchen no matter how much time and effort you put into it, I highly recommend being raised by three professional cooks. In my case, both parents and a grandparent.
> I beg you all to give yourselves permission to buy the few dedicated cooking appliances and tools you will benefit the most from
And be sure to also give yourself permission to get rid of nice kitchen appliances you gave yourself permission to buy. It feels bad to spend money on something, or receive a gift, that you end up not using, but it won't feel any better if you let it sit unused in a cabinet or basement for ten years. Hey, at least you didn't spend it on NFTs, right?
Right?
posted by seraphine at 11:21 PM on April 11 [7 favorites]
> I beg you all to give yourselves permission to buy the few dedicated cooking appliances and tools you will benefit the most from
And be sure to also give yourself permission to get rid of nice kitchen appliances you gave yourself permission to buy. It feels bad to spend money on something, or receive a gift, that you end up not using, but it won't feel any better if you let it sit unused in a cabinet or basement for ten years. Hey, at least you didn't spend it on NFTs, right?
Right?
posted by seraphine at 11:21 PM on April 11 [7 favorites]
OMG y’all this is a coping mechanism for surviving child abuse. My mom didn’t cook for me once she got divorced; I ate out of cans until I eventually learned to cook. We had microwave ovens even back then in 1981. Some of y’all are acting like there’s not cereal and peanut butter and bread in a bag and string cheese and stuff that comes in boxes and cans and bags that you can heat in the microwave, and like nobody ever eats unless some responsible, caring person in the household throws some altruistic and/or horribly unfair gendered labor at them.
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:37 PM on April 11 [19 favorites]
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:37 PM on April 11 [19 favorites]
Wow, harsh reactions to a what I found a very sweet and wry story of learning to see making food as as an act of love—for one’s self as well as others.
On that April night nine years ago, giddy and drunk on my own invincibility, I ate the first thing I had ever “cooked” by myself, for myself: a half-boiled egg, sliced neatly in half on top of plain supermarket white bread that I lathered with cold scrapes of salted butter and thin slivers of red onion.
Delicious. Thanks for sharing, Toddles. I’m going to go pop some eggs in my Dash cooker!
posted by tinymojo at 11:50 PM on April 11 [11 favorites]
On that April night nine years ago, giddy and drunk on my own invincibility, I ate the first thing I had ever “cooked” by myself, for myself: a half-boiled egg, sliced neatly in half on top of plain supermarket white bread that I lathered with cold scrapes of salted butter and thin slivers of red onion.
Delicious. Thanks for sharing, Toddles. I’m going to go pop some eggs in my Dash cooker!
posted by tinymojo at 11:50 PM on April 11 [11 favorites]
OMG y’all this is a coping mechanism for surviving child abuse.
At the risk of essentializing the already fraught gender dynamics of her society and one she didn't in particular specify as necessarily unique to her household, I would not go so far as to use this description. Because in those societal norms, if she's not doing it, another woman certainly is. A win for girlbosses everywhere.
In these visions, there was no one snatching “storybooks” (the beloved Indian-parent euphemism even if you read adult fiction) from my hands and barking at me to get up and make tea whenever guests came to visit, or grating at me to bring out hot rotis straight from the stove and put them onto the plates of fathers and uncles. The milieu I was raised in tried to drill into me the idea that keeping a home, and the domestic labor it entails — the cooking, the serving, the dusting, the wiping — were acts of profound nobility. That they were crucial to the formation of the only life I was predestined for, one that came prepackaged with a husband and children, two species, I had been warned, that were equally incapable of feeding themselves, and whose supervision would fall to me.
In rebellion, I refused to learn even a single tenet of good housekeeping. If I remained useless in the kitchen and egregiously incompetent at household chores, then I could at least retain some control over my life — and no amount of yelling, berating or shaming from parents, elders or concerned strangers could sway me from this zealotry.
Is this normalised? Yes. Is it child abuse? I'm leery of this claim, not to defend the sexism - if this is abuse what about the others? I do want to know. It's definitely toxic and abusive but something in that claim isn't sitting well with me. Gendered and sexist household arrangements ala Little House in The Prairie era for the westerners - would it be considered child abuse? If yes, then fine.
Otherwise I can celebrate the win but not beyond the personal level. That she's trying to use it to speak to some larger social conditions is an attempt, to be sure. I think having the choice to not be burdened by labour you didn't ask is important, what more one assigned to you just because of social norms. But child abuse? I'm willing to learn why that argument though.
posted by cendawanita at 12:15 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
At the risk of essentializing the already fraught gender dynamics of her society and one she didn't in particular specify as necessarily unique to her household, I would not go so far as to use this description. Because in those societal norms, if she's not doing it, another woman certainly is. A win for girlbosses everywhere.
In these visions, there was no one snatching “storybooks” (the beloved Indian-parent euphemism even if you read adult fiction) from my hands and barking at me to get up and make tea whenever guests came to visit, or grating at me to bring out hot rotis straight from the stove and put them onto the plates of fathers and uncles. The milieu I was raised in tried to drill into me the idea that keeping a home, and the domestic labor it entails — the cooking, the serving, the dusting, the wiping — were acts of profound nobility. That they were crucial to the formation of the only life I was predestined for, one that came prepackaged with a husband and children, two species, I had been warned, that were equally incapable of feeding themselves, and whose supervision would fall to me.
In rebellion, I refused to learn even a single tenet of good housekeeping. If I remained useless in the kitchen and egregiously incompetent at household chores, then I could at least retain some control over my life — and no amount of yelling, berating or shaming from parents, elders or concerned strangers could sway me from this zealotry.
Is this normalised? Yes. Is it child abuse? I'm leery of this claim, not to defend the sexism - if this is abuse what about the others? I do want to know. It's definitely toxic and abusive but something in that claim isn't sitting well with me. Gendered and sexist household arrangements ala Little House in The Prairie era for the westerners - would it be considered child abuse? If yes, then fine.
Otherwise I can celebrate the win but not beyond the personal level. That she's trying to use it to speak to some larger social conditions is an attempt, to be sure. I think having the choice to not be burdened by labour you didn't ask is important, what more one assigned to you just because of social norms. But child abuse? I'm willing to learn why that argument though.
posted by cendawanita at 12:15 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
Tentatively, it's child abuse because there's no kindness or giving credit for the work-- it's a life of being subject to demands.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 1:38 AM on April 12 [6 favorites]
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 1:38 AM on April 12 [6 favorites]
no shade on the egg cooker per se
All the more shade left for this one.
posted by flabdablet at 3:18 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
All the more shade left for this one.
posted by flabdablet at 3:18 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
MetaFilter: the most uncharitable reading of this I can imagine
posted by ropeladder at 4:25 AM on April 12 [24 favorites]
posted by ropeladder at 4:25 AM on April 12 [24 favorites]
Outside of the US market TJ Maxχ is known as TK Maxχ, or as a New Irish friend of ours, from საქართველო (Georgia), txtd it: TiK Max Shoo.
When we were in separate digs as students 50 years ago, a friend of mine was faced with a wobbly poached egg every day at 8 o’clock in the morning. She choked this down somehow rather than giving offense to her landlady; until a desperate hangover coincided with a letter from her mother. She hooshed the egg into the envelope and rushed from the house to catch the bus to college. The bus arrived immediately, so she disposed of the evidence in the bin attached to the city centre bus-stop. Thereafter she contrived to have some sort of receptacle at every breakfast and the Nassau St bin gradually filled with "food".
posted by BobTheScientist at 4:41 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]
When we were in separate digs as students 50 years ago, a friend of mine was faced with a wobbly poached egg every day at 8 o’clock in the morning. She choked this down somehow rather than giving offense to her landlady; until a desperate hangover coincided with a letter from her mother. She hooshed the egg into the envelope and rushed from the house to catch the bus to college. The bus arrived immediately, so she disposed of the evidence in the bin attached to the city centre bus-stop. Thereafter she contrived to have some sort of receptacle at every breakfast and the Nassau St bin gradually filled with "food".
posted by BobTheScientist at 4:41 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]
I am EXTREMELY surprised at some of the reactions in here - because it is Metafilter itself that caused me to change my own mind about people who hadn't learned how to cook.
If you go through my comment history on various cooking-related posts, you'll start out seeing me in the "come on, it's easy, you can learn how to cook for yourself" camp. I tried to be nice about it, but I was firmly in the "cooking is a skill everyone can and should achieve" camp. But gradually from those posts, it was driven into me that a) not everyone can grasp everything, b) not everyone has had the same experience and comfort in a kitchen as I have grown up with, and c) not everyone appreciates food as much as I do.
Today, I still am in team "if you want to learn how to cook I support you because I think it's fun," but I've come around to understand that not everyone is going to be there. When my roommate first moved in he professed to not knowing how to cook, and I said I could help show him stuff now and then - but then after a couple years he mused one day that "you know, I've come to realize that I just plain don't want to really cook that much," and....that's okay. It's his life. When he said that, I just shrugged and said "a'ight, you do you."
The irony there, though, is - within a year, that same guy has gradually started making steps into cooking anyway. He got a super-fancy rice cooker and has been making all sorts of concoctions in it - he'll dump rice, some kind of sauce, and a bunch of other random veg into the cooker and fire it up, and will eat that. He gave me some leftovers once (he'd brought it to lunch and had a nasty shock at work one day and lost his appetite, and I got the leftovers) and it was actually really damn good; not anything you'd serve to company, but a tasty "I'm home alone and just want to eat dinner" option. He's started making salads - starting witth a bagged salad and then adding some extras to it.
And those are all valid options. You don't necessarily need to learn the basics to feed yourself - heating up a can of soup is perfectly fine. Using an egg cooker is totally fine. Dumping some jarred sauce over pasta is totally fine. At the end of the day, cooking is just about getting nutrition into your body so you don't die, and if that goal has been achieved, then you're good, no matter how you got there. It's fine.
Also - don't forget we're talking about something that's going to be poo within 18 hours anyway, so it doesn't make sense to be overly precious about it.
As for appliances - y'all, I'm 54 and have been cooking things since I was a teenager and I recently got a rice cooker too. Not as fancy as his, but it's a modest one that I've been playing with and it's kinda awesome. I can steam something on a rack above the rice while it's cooking, and I don't need to run and get the rice off the stove as soon as the timer goes off - I can be doing other things, and when I'm ready I go into the kitchen and check the cooker to see whether it's done, and if it finished cooking the rice before I was ready it was just helpfully keeping everything warm until I was ready to fish it out. THAT'S WONDERFUL. I can make myself rice-based bento boxes for my work lunches - throw rice in the bottom and something else on the top just before I get into the shower, and it's perking away while I'm showering and making coffee and then finishes up just about when I'm pouring my coffee, and then it just cools down while I'm getting dressed and bingo, I have a bento lunch ready to pack and go. Reheating things in the microwave that early is a no-go because it wakes my roommate up - but reheating them in the top of the rice cooker is silent, and is perfect.
Let people learn at their own pace, let people get things that make their lives easier, let people address the "feeding myself" issue however they choose.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:06 AM on April 12 [31 favorites]
If you go through my comment history on various cooking-related posts, you'll start out seeing me in the "come on, it's easy, you can learn how to cook for yourself" camp. I tried to be nice about it, but I was firmly in the "cooking is a skill everyone can and should achieve" camp. But gradually from those posts, it was driven into me that a) not everyone can grasp everything, b) not everyone has had the same experience and comfort in a kitchen as I have grown up with, and c) not everyone appreciates food as much as I do.
Today, I still am in team "if you want to learn how to cook I support you because I think it's fun," but I've come around to understand that not everyone is going to be there. When my roommate first moved in he professed to not knowing how to cook, and I said I could help show him stuff now and then - but then after a couple years he mused one day that "you know, I've come to realize that I just plain don't want to really cook that much," and....that's okay. It's his life. When he said that, I just shrugged and said "a'ight, you do you."
The irony there, though, is - within a year, that same guy has gradually started making steps into cooking anyway. He got a super-fancy rice cooker and has been making all sorts of concoctions in it - he'll dump rice, some kind of sauce, and a bunch of other random veg into the cooker and fire it up, and will eat that. He gave me some leftovers once (he'd brought it to lunch and had a nasty shock at work one day and lost his appetite, and I got the leftovers) and it was actually really damn good; not anything you'd serve to company, but a tasty "I'm home alone and just want to eat dinner" option. He's started making salads - starting witth a bagged salad and then adding some extras to it.
And those are all valid options. You don't necessarily need to learn the basics to feed yourself - heating up a can of soup is perfectly fine. Using an egg cooker is totally fine. Dumping some jarred sauce over pasta is totally fine. At the end of the day, cooking is just about getting nutrition into your body so you don't die, and if that goal has been achieved, then you're good, no matter how you got there. It's fine.
Also - don't forget we're talking about something that's going to be poo within 18 hours anyway, so it doesn't make sense to be overly precious about it.
As for appliances - y'all, I'm 54 and have been cooking things since I was a teenager and I recently got a rice cooker too. Not as fancy as his, but it's a modest one that I've been playing with and it's kinda awesome. I can steam something on a rack above the rice while it's cooking, and I don't need to run and get the rice off the stove as soon as the timer goes off - I can be doing other things, and when I'm ready I go into the kitchen and check the cooker to see whether it's done, and if it finished cooking the rice before I was ready it was just helpfully keeping everything warm until I was ready to fish it out. THAT'S WONDERFUL. I can make myself rice-based bento boxes for my work lunches - throw rice in the bottom and something else on the top just before I get into the shower, and it's perking away while I'm showering and making coffee and then finishes up just about when I'm pouring my coffee, and then it just cools down while I'm getting dressed and bingo, I have a bento lunch ready to pack and go. Reheating things in the microwave that early is a no-go because it wakes my roommate up - but reheating them in the top of the rice cooker is silent, and is perfect.
Let people learn at their own pace, let people get things that make their lives easier, let people address the "feeding myself" issue however they choose.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:06 AM on April 12 [31 favorites]
My sister is a married woman with two teenage kids and she doesn't cook. She has no interest in learning how to cook, doesn't want to cook, and as a result, it's very probable my two nieces might be like this columnist. Their house is a house of convenience when it comes to food; the cabinets and fridge are stocked with ready made meals, frozen ones, various snacks. I used to be judgey about it but then I realized it is none of my business. The kids are alive, no one has scurvy, and life has gone on. We were raised in a half and half household: my mom cooked for us most nights (homemade flour tortillas, a can of refried beans, sometimes Mexican chorizo), and other nights it was fend for yourself.
Whereas I love to cook, have done from a young age, mostly because my late paternal grandmother was an incredible cook but in hindsight, she was cooking nearly every day for my grandfather, various relatives who all showed up for lunches and dinners, or anyone who would stop by really. I never thought to ask her if she liked doing it. But I do miss the foods she made I will never be able to taste again: coconut cake, lemon pie, biscuits, macaroni and cheese, fried trout.
Some people like to cook, some do not. That's fine. It's when the cooking people insist that the non-cooking people are lazy/ignorant/insert judgement here that it becomes not okay.
posted by Kitteh at 5:29 AM on April 12 [8 favorites]
Whereas I love to cook, have done from a young age, mostly because my late paternal grandmother was an incredible cook but in hindsight, she was cooking nearly every day for my grandfather, various relatives who all showed up for lunches and dinners, or anyone who would stop by really. I never thought to ask her if she liked doing it. But I do miss the foods she made I will never be able to taste again: coconut cake, lemon pie, biscuits, macaroni and cheese, fried trout.
Some people like to cook, some do not. That's fine. It's when the cooking people insist that the non-cooking people are lazy/ignorant/insert judgement here that it becomes not okay.
posted by Kitteh at 5:29 AM on April 12 [8 favorites]
Maybe people are reacting more to the headline than the actual article (which has never, I tell you never happened on MetaFilter before). I enjoyed reading it, and even identified with the writer even though my reaction to childhood abuse was to learn to cook rather than avoid it.
Women avoiding the kitchen in pursuit of a better life has been a thing for at least 60 years, maybe more. The reason I learnt to cook was that my mother's generation of Western women seeking liberation avoided it, and our kitchen was a barren, hopeless place with a huge chest freezer full of bland food. But this writer adds her own unique story to the tradition, and even cooks a meal with her egg cooker. I like it. Thanks for posting, Toddles.
I will say that avoiding the kitchen is something you can do well in a big city. When you get to smaller towns or suburbs, not cooking will force you to eat ultra-processed food from chains or your microwave, and that is not a good choice for anyones' health.
Re. egg cookers: we have had two egg cookers while my eldest daughter still lived at home, because she loves her eggs. But when she moved out, younger daughter and I decided that they get a weird sulpherous smell after just a short while, and gave them to recycling. I hope someone like the author found it there and boiled an egg.
posted by mumimor at 5:37 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
Women avoiding the kitchen in pursuit of a better life has been a thing for at least 60 years, maybe more. The reason I learnt to cook was that my mother's generation of Western women seeking liberation avoided it, and our kitchen was a barren, hopeless place with a huge chest freezer full of bland food. But this writer adds her own unique story to the tradition, and even cooks a meal with her egg cooker. I like it. Thanks for posting, Toddles.
I will say that avoiding the kitchen is something you can do well in a big city. When you get to smaller towns or suburbs, not cooking will force you to eat ultra-processed food from chains or your microwave, and that is not a good choice for anyones' health.
Re. egg cookers: we have had two egg cookers while my eldest daughter still lived at home, because she loves her eggs. But when she moved out, younger daughter and I decided that they get a weird sulpherous smell after just a short while, and gave them to recycling. I hope someone like the author found it there and boiled an egg.
posted by mumimor at 5:37 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
I am interested in this egg device. I love to cook, but I can't make a good soft boiled egg to save my life. I can make a great variety of whipped egg dishes, I can make custard without a cooking thermometer, I know how to make old fashioned scrambled eggs with cream, and yet I can neither soft boil nor poach.
Similarly, I cannot make good rice in a pot. My life has been transformed by acquiring at secondhand a really fancy rice cooker.
posted by Frowner at 5:50 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
Similarly, I cannot make good rice in a pot. My life has been transformed by acquiring at secondhand a really fancy rice cooker.
posted by Frowner at 5:50 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
There are three appliances that have changed how I prepare food: instant pot knock-off, air fryer, hard egg maker (12 egg version). All three yield far better, more consistent results for me as compared to what I've been doing.
There are appliances that I tried but rejected from my counter top: hot water heater (instant hot but now I just use a kettle), ice maker (back to going without ice cubes), egg sandwich maker (great results but don't like the clean up).
I'm in my late 50's and taught myself everything. Have the attention span of a toddler, so these toys helped.
On the other side of the spectrum is my partner, who grew to hate cooking over decades of cooking for their picky family. No counter top appliances used except for electric kettle and, late addition, rice maker.
I recognize their cooking for me is a gift because they love me and I'm grateful for it.
posted by bacalao_y_betun at 5:55 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
There are appliances that I tried but rejected from my counter top: hot water heater (instant hot but now I just use a kettle), ice maker (back to going without ice cubes), egg sandwich maker (great results but don't like the clean up).
I'm in my late 50's and taught myself everything. Have the attention span of a toddler, so these toys helped.
On the other side of the spectrum is my partner, who grew to hate cooking over decades of cooking for their picky family. No counter top appliances used except for electric kettle and, late addition, rice maker.
I recognize their cooking for me is a gift because they love me and I'm grateful for it.
posted by bacalao_y_betun at 5:55 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
If you get one of those egg timers that go in the water with the egg and change colour along a marked line (soft / medium / hard) it's pretty easy to get whatever level of softness/hardness you want.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 5:55 AM on April 12
posted by TheophileEscargot at 5:55 AM on April 12
I love cooking, but I bought a got-damned FOUR-PACK of silicone egg cups that will make a soft-boiled (or lightly scrambled) egg in the microwave in 46 seconds.
I sent two to my parents so they can have super-speedy, high-protein breakfast, too. My mom is an experienced chef from BITD, but she is happy to have this shortcut.
My dad, after full four score years, can make toast and bad coffee. It is my dear hope that he will one day make his own egg-on-toast breakfast with the cheap gadget I sent to him....but I'm not betting the rent money on it.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:05 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
I sent two to my parents so they can have super-speedy, high-protein breakfast, too. My mom is an experienced chef from BITD, but she is happy to have this shortcut.
My dad, after full four score years, can make toast and bad coffee. It is my dear hope that he will one day make his own egg-on-toast breakfast with the cheap gadget I sent to him....but I'm not betting the rent money on it.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:05 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
The best thing about this egg device and it's ilk is that it automatically turns itself off. A stovetop burner will keep going long after all the water has boiled out and the pan is cherry-red, but this little device will considerately turn itself off after the egg has been cooked and it will fail to safe if neglected.
For anyone with cognitive or mobility issues, or who is just easily distracted, this is a huge safety feature. I was making my grandmother breakfast one morning (she really liked eggs!) when I suddenly heard her fall. I left the burner on to go to her aid, and though she was okay, I didn't get back to the kitchen for almost a half an hour. By then all the water had boiled away and the pan was super hot and already ruined. The conditions were ripe for accidentally starting a fire. After that, I bought an egg cooker.
I'm a big advocate for any appliance which turns itself off after a set period of time: microwaves, air fryers, electric kettles, instant pots, toaster ovens, egg cookers, rice cookers, etc. While it might seem wasteful to have dedicated machines to do something that could easily be done on the stove-top, the safety aspect is more than enough to justify having them.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:05 AM on April 12 [25 favorites]
For anyone with cognitive or mobility issues, or who is just easily distracted, this is a huge safety feature. I was making my grandmother breakfast one morning (she really liked eggs!) when I suddenly heard her fall. I left the burner on to go to her aid, and though she was okay, I didn't get back to the kitchen for almost a half an hour. By then all the water had boiled away and the pan was super hot and already ruined. The conditions were ripe for accidentally starting a fire. After that, I bought an egg cooker.
I'm a big advocate for any appliance which turns itself off after a set period of time: microwaves, air fryers, electric kettles, instant pots, toaster ovens, egg cookers, rice cookers, etc. While it might seem wasteful to have dedicated machines to do something that could easily be done on the stove-top, the safety aspect is more than enough to justify having them.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:05 AM on April 12 [25 favorites]
My wife and I both cook. I grew up wanting to know how to cook, but there were limited opportunities to do so. Plus I lacked the patience. My mom did all of the cooking with some rare exceptions where my stepfather would make fancy breakfasts. Once moved out on my own, I struggled to develop culinary skills. Then I lived with a woman for 4 years whose entire family was gourmet cooks. I learned a lot! Once we broke up, I made it my mission to use what I had learned and improve my skills. So I started hosting dinner parties and just sort of going out on a limb, and I got good at it. A friend of mine would often invite me over to his house to make dinner - once it was Thanksgiving dinner, on one day's notice. That was not so great! But I (and his wife) made it work. We're not friends anymore. It felt really great, though, to go home to visit my mom and say "I'll make you dinner" and then make a fancy-ass meal for her. Now that is a regular thing when I visit.
My wife grew up in a household with 3 other siblings and one of the rules, once they were old enough, was that everyone had to make dinner once a week. She's a master improviser - can make something delicious out of anything, would probably slay on one of those cooking competition shows. One of her favorite tools? A 6-egg egg cooker. It is absolutely perfect for getting eggs just right to be put on a salad. My only issue with it is all of the fiddly bits that are annoying to clean.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:11 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
My wife grew up in a household with 3 other siblings and one of the rules, once they were old enough, was that everyone had to make dinner once a week. She's a master improviser - can make something delicious out of anything, would probably slay on one of those cooking competition shows. One of her favorite tools? A 6-egg egg cooker. It is absolutely perfect for getting eggs just right to be put on a salad. My only issue with it is all of the fiddly bits that are annoying to clean.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:11 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
I learned as an adult that using a steamer basket makes soft boiled eggs so much easier.
I learned as a teenager what happens when you have a pan of eggs on a glass surface cooktop, on low, and no one remembers to turn it off before you leave the house. You ever literally melt a small saucepan before? Because that’s what happened, the house stank like a Yellowstone sulfur vent, we’re damn lucky it didn’t cause a fire, and my mom finally put her foot down and said that the stove was an utter piece of shit and she’d never again buy a glass top stove. That particular model had no visible warning a burner was on. We’d burned ourselves by accidentally touching hot burners before, but that pan of eggs was the last straw.
Also, my younger brother found out what happens when you microwave an egg in the shell! It literally blew up in his face and gave him a noticeable burn on the chin. Don’t microwave eggs in the shell.
If an egg cooker saves you from melted pans and face burns, get the egg cooker for God’s sake.
posted by caution live frogs at 6:13 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
I learned as a teenager what happens when you have a pan of eggs on a glass surface cooktop, on low, and no one remembers to turn it off before you leave the house. You ever literally melt a small saucepan before? Because that’s what happened, the house stank like a Yellowstone sulfur vent, we’re damn lucky it didn’t cause a fire, and my mom finally put her foot down and said that the stove was an utter piece of shit and she’d never again buy a glass top stove. That particular model had no visible warning a burner was on. We’d burned ourselves by accidentally touching hot burners before, but that pan of eggs was the last straw.
Also, my younger brother found out what happens when you microwave an egg in the shell! It literally blew up in his face and gave him a noticeable burn on the chin. Don’t microwave eggs in the shell.
If an egg cooker saves you from melted pans and face burns, get the egg cooker for God’s sake.
posted by caution live frogs at 6:13 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
My partner comes from a culture where, stereotypically, women serve the men in the domestic realm, sometimes to the extreme where the men are all sitting at the table and the women bring food out to them from the kitchen but don't sit with the men. My mother in law deliberately ensured that my now-partner grew up without learning how to cook, as a way of ensuring that she would never be stuck in that dynamic or have her education derailed. I have slightly mixed feelings about it, because my mother in law was an amazing cook and it would have been wonderful to have that legacy continued, but overall it was a really moving act of love and caring for her daughter, which I completely respect and appreciate. So everything she has learned about cooking has been as an adult, which is different from learning organically when you are young.
All of that to say, I can completely understand where the author is coming from, while also agreeing with the comments above that it would have been a much better piece if she had acknowledged and come to terms with how her not-cooking was made possible by other people's gendered labor.
Profoundly in sympathy with a revolt against being coerced into a life of housework, but...how did she eat, then? Did she literally have her mother cook for her or order takeout every single time she wanted to eat hot food? She never made a grilled cheese for herself at midnight or heated up a can of soup on the stove for lunch? I feel like there's something a little beyond high-minded principle in the mix here.
I believe it. I went to an expensive liberal arts college (I was in the minority of students who were relying on financial aid) and in the first week there I had to help several people cook ramen (they couldn't follow the pictorial directions on the packet) and also with laundry -- many of them had never done a load of laundry in their life and had no idea how the machines worked.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:42 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
All of that to say, I can completely understand where the author is coming from, while also agreeing with the comments above that it would have been a much better piece if she had acknowledged and come to terms with how her not-cooking was made possible by other people's gendered labor.
Profoundly in sympathy with a revolt against being coerced into a life of housework, but...how did she eat, then? Did she literally have her mother cook for her or order takeout every single time she wanted to eat hot food? She never made a grilled cheese for herself at midnight or heated up a can of soup on the stove for lunch? I feel like there's something a little beyond high-minded principle in the mix here.
I believe it. I went to an expensive liberal arts college (I was in the minority of students who were relying on financial aid) and in the first week there I had to help several people cook ramen (they couldn't follow the pictorial directions on the packet) and also with laundry -- many of them had never done a load of laundry in their life and had no idea how the machines worked.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:42 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
What I find strangest in this discussion is that nobody's talking about peeling the eggs. While the egg cooker does sound convenient, you're still stuck fighting with the shell. I've tried a million internet-approved methods over the years, icing the cooked eggs, starting with cold water, whatever, and yet, it always takes more time to peel the egg than to eat it, which is kind of disappointing! I want to be able to enjoy the egg, not do a lot of tedious finger-work where sometimes a good chunk of egg winds up attached to the shell, or worse, a tiny fragment of shell stays on the egg and I crunch on it. C'mon, science, you can solve this problem! Until then I'm forced to have my eggs fried.
posted by mittens at 6:51 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
posted by mittens at 6:51 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
I am drastically bad at cooking. I have made dishes explode, caused fires, reduced innocent ingredients to horrifying slop, and have only about a one in three chance of producing a passable grilled cheese. It isn't just cooking food, I have a similarly disastrous history in chem labs. I held the school record for shattered glassware in highschool, and chemical reactions just wouldn't happen for me some times, thermodynamics and valence shells be damned. I also find the process very stressful, especially if I have two thinks going at once, like heating soup and making a sandwich.
My wife cooks like it is an art. She loves it and will just improvise multidish meals. She swaps out ingredients and ad libs while baking and produces top notch results.
I guess my point is some people shouldn't cook and that is okay.
posted by The Manwich Horror at 6:54 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]
My wife cooks like it is an art. She loves it and will just improvise multidish meals. She swaps out ingredients and ad libs while baking and produces top notch results.
I guess my point is some people shouldn't cook and that is okay.
posted by The Manwich Horror at 6:54 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]
Nthing the utility of this device. I was skeptical at first, but it is now one of our family's most used kitchen appliances.
mittens, generally older eggs are easier to peel. Days-old-eggs are a mess to peel. Store-bought eggs are often already weeks-old and in my experience, easier to peel. I take them straight from the cooker, run under cold water, and peel by the sink, cooling under the tap as necessary.
posted by xmattxfx at 7:11 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
mittens, generally older eggs are easier to peel. Days-old-eggs are a mess to peel. Store-bought eggs are often already weeks-old and in my experience, easier to peel. I take them straight from the cooker, run under cold water, and peel by the sink, cooling under the tap as necessary.
posted by xmattxfx at 7:11 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
I am, if I may say, an excellent cook and I love my Dash egg cooker.
posted by aramaic at 7:23 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
posted by aramaic at 7:23 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
Looking at the manual (downloadable from the website) the machine takes longer to cook a soft-boiled egg than a pot of boiling water would. I suppose if you figure in heating the water to boiling, it's closer to equal, but if we're measuring both from the same step of "put the egg in the thing and wait" then the machine is much slower.
I do remember my 20s, though, and not knowing how to do things, so I understand a bit about where the writer is coming from. I don't own a dedicated rice cooker anymore because I finally mastered boiling it myself in a nonstick pan, but the instant pot and the slow cooker here both get a lot of use.
posted by emelenjr at 7:33 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
I do remember my 20s, though, and not knowing how to do things, so I understand a bit about where the writer is coming from. I don't own a dedicated rice cooker anymore because I finally mastered boiling it myself in a nonstick pan, but the instant pot and the slow cooker here both get a lot of use.
posted by emelenjr at 7:33 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
That egg cooker is SUCH a boon to those of us with attention deficit issues. My mother and I are both fantastic cooks, but after I had to feed myself too many Superball-texture overcooked eggs and she set two pans on fire (asleep, home alone), we both got one. I am still capable of not hearing the jingle when it's done sometimes and my eggs sit too long without their cold bath, but they still don't get nearly as bouncy as when you boil them for 30 minutes.
I am in my 50s and she is nearly 80. It's nice that we live in a world where we have options that stretch our limitations at least enough that egg salad can still be on the menu.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:50 AM on April 12 [9 favorites]
I am in my 50s and she is nearly 80. It's nice that we live in a world where we have options that stretch our limitations at least enough that egg salad can still be on the menu.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:50 AM on April 12 [9 favorites]
I read a fascinating book a couple of years ago whose title I sadly cannot remember. But it was about the idea of refusing to learn. The author talked about things like Black children's "misbehavior" in school being perhaps an act of resistance, but he also talked about more personal things. His own story included refusing to learn Yiddish while growing up with a Yiddish-speaking grandfather in the house. He wanted so much to be American he wouldn't remember a single word his grandfather taught him. As an adult, he regretted it, but that was his motivation as a chld.
I think I found it. The book is almost certainly I Won't Learn from You: And Other Thoughts on Creative Maladjustment by Herbert Kohl. Recommended.
It's stayed on my mind because, having been given the concept, I see it in my own life and in the lives of others. Or, at least, the possibility of it. This writer's experience is a terrific example of resisting by refusing to learn.
posted by Well I never at 8:10 AM on April 12 [21 favorites]
I think I found it. The book is almost certainly I Won't Learn from You: And Other Thoughts on Creative Maladjustment by Herbert Kohl. Recommended.
It's stayed on my mind because, having been given the concept, I see it in my own life and in the lives of others. Or, at least, the possibility of it. This writer's experience is a terrific example of resisting by refusing to learn.
posted by Well I never at 8:10 AM on April 12 [21 favorites]
MetaFilter: don't forget we're talking about something that's going to be poo within 18 hours anyway, so it doesn't make sense to be overly precious about it
posted by cadge at 8:11 AM on April 12 [4 favorites]
posted by cadge at 8:11 AM on April 12 [4 favorites]
It's so odd to see articles like this as a parent. My daughter yelled at my wife last night for congratulating her competing well in a track meet. Kids can be surly and not just when they are in trouble and being lectured.
I totally remember being a surly teen and my dad trying to teach me construction stuff and I'm was never as dramatic as the author, but I was good at letting it go in one ear and out the other, and I didn't need it anyways because someone was going to be doing all that for me because I was so successful. LOL to 15 year old me.
So I don't think I can quite go the 'child abuse' route, but I just don't see much here that is outrageous either. And sometimes the methods of teaching can be onerous, even if one sees the value. Pointing directly at every coach I ever had. And that goes double if you don't see the value at the time.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:14 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
I totally remember being a surly teen and my dad trying to teach me construction stuff and I'm was never as dramatic as the author, but I was good at letting it go in one ear and out the other, and I didn't need it anyways because someone was going to be doing all that for me because I was so successful. LOL to 15 year old me.
So I don't think I can quite go the 'child abuse' route, but I just don't see much here that is outrageous either. And sometimes the methods of teaching can be onerous, even if one sees the value. Pointing directly at every coach I ever had. And that goes double if you don't see the value at the time.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:14 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
This is also a genre of NY Times essay that annoys the heck out of me. There's a much richer story to be told here, that some of the people who bounced off this scoffing in disdain might have gotten something from, but the writer isn't given the space to tell it.
posted by Well I never at 8:16 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
posted by Well I never at 8:16 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
Wow, uh, there's a lot of different things conflate in her description, which is completely fine as a personal musing, but spectacularly unkind to have it used accuse her family of child abuse.
barking at me to get up and make tea whenever guests came to visit, or grating at me to bring out hot rotis straight from the stove and put them onto the plates of fathers and uncles
I mean, if we had guests or family visiting, and my kids decided they were going to just hang out and not help make them comfortable, or help us host in general, I'd be ... barking and grating as well. To the excellent points made earlier, she did not say much about whether she ate the food that others prepared (or did her own laundry, or took care of her own living space or expected help and support or transportation from her family) And of course that might not be expected as a small child , but she apparently moved to NYC when she was 22...
She does not comment on whether she loves her family or felt they loved her. Without that context, it's pretty hard to interpret much else.
I came from a terrifically supportive loving feminist family from a similar culture and I still remember everyone in the household of every age working like dogs any time we had a guest. Honestly, that's true of my own household now.
posted by BlueBlueElectricBlue at 8:30 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
barking at me to get up and make tea whenever guests came to visit, or grating at me to bring out hot rotis straight from the stove and put them onto the plates of fathers and uncles
I mean, if we had guests or family visiting, and my kids decided they were going to just hang out and not help make them comfortable, or help us host in general, I'd be ... barking and grating as well. To the excellent points made earlier, she did not say much about whether she ate the food that others prepared (or did her own laundry, or took care of her own living space or expected help and support or transportation from her family) And of course that might not be expected as a small child , but she apparently moved to NYC when she was 22...
She does not comment on whether she loves her family or felt they loved her. Without that context, it's pretty hard to interpret much else.
I came from a terrifically supportive loving feminist family from a similar culture and I still remember everyone in the household of every age working like dogs any time we had a guest. Honestly, that's true of my own household now.
posted by BlueBlueElectricBlue at 8:30 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
I totally remember being a surly teen and my dad trying to teach me construction stuff and I'm was never as dramatic as the author, but I was good at letting it go in one ear and out the other, and I didn't need it anyways because someone was going to be doing all that for me because I was so successful. LOL to 15 year old me.
My equivalent of that was for my entire childhood until I left for college, my parents owned a series of old cars that were always breaking down, so my father was always working on them in the driveway. As a kid, I thought that was such a dumb waste of time so I always refused to participate. Then in my twenties when I owned the first of a long series of crappy cars that would break down, I really regretted that earlier decision and had to learn basic mechanics completely from scratch on my own.
I mean, if we had guests or family visiting, and my kids decided they were going to just hang out and not help make them comfortable, or help us host in general, I'd be ... barking and grating as well. .
I didn't read her piece as being against hospitality for guests, she was specifically objecting to the gendered dynamic where the girls and women are in the kitchen making rotis and bringing them out hot and fresh for the men to enjoy.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:35 AM on April 12 [10 favorites]
My equivalent of that was for my entire childhood until I left for college, my parents owned a series of old cars that were always breaking down, so my father was always working on them in the driveway. As a kid, I thought that was such a dumb waste of time so I always refused to participate. Then in my twenties when I owned the first of a long series of crappy cars that would break down, I really regretted that earlier decision and had to learn basic mechanics completely from scratch on my own.
I mean, if we had guests or family visiting, and my kids decided they were going to just hang out and not help make them comfortable, or help us host in general, I'd be ... barking and grating as well. .
I didn't read her piece as being against hospitality for guests, she was specifically objecting to the gendered dynamic where the girls and women are in the kitchen making rotis and bringing them out hot and fresh for the men to enjoy.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:35 AM on April 12 [10 favorites]
https://www.amazon.com/Dash-Rapid-Egg-Cooker-Scrambled/dp/B00DDXWFY0
It occurred to me the entire article could just be product placement. Probably not. But could be.
My thing is I love to cook. And I cook well. But I rarely do. Cooking involves shopping and preparation and cleaning up. It takes me four hours to cook, eat, and clean up. Yes, I do cook things in less time. Very unsatisfying things. When the article author talked about an egg on white bread with butter and onions, I saw myself and hated what I saw. If it weren't for my Instant Pot, I would starve. I'll be retiring in a year and I see a future where I make ravioli from scratch at least once per week.
posted by 3.2.3 at 8:37 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
It occurred to me the entire article could just be product placement. Probably not. But could be.
My thing is I love to cook. And I cook well. But I rarely do. Cooking involves shopping and preparation and cleaning up. It takes me four hours to cook, eat, and clean up. Yes, I do cook things in less time. Very unsatisfying things. When the article author talked about an egg on white bread with butter and onions, I saw myself and hated what I saw. If it weren't for my Instant Pot, I would starve. I'll be retiring in a year and I see a future where I make ravioli from scratch at least once per week.
posted by 3.2.3 at 8:37 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
Dip Flash - sure, but so then... her mom did it? The other women did it? She says she opted out, not that she found other ways to help, or avoided attending, or ... well, who put the rotis on her plate? That's what I meant by conflating - clearly the piece is about the sexist roles in the culture she grew up in, but it's a personal short narrative and the jump to child abuse is rather a big one.
posted by BlueBlueElectricBlue at 8:41 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
posted by BlueBlueElectricBlue at 8:41 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
I really regretted that earlier decision and had to learn basic mechanics completely from scratch on my own.
Yeah, I want to go back in time and just be the most honest kid: "No thanks dad and mom and teachers, I'd rather learn this the hard way."
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:47 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
Yeah, I want to go back in time and just be the most honest kid: "No thanks dad and mom and teachers, I'd rather learn this the hard way."
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:47 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
also with laundry -- many of them had never done a load of laundry in their life and had no idea how the machines worked
I saw this for sure. It was bizarre to me, because I come from a large family and started doing my own laundry around age ten, but I guess seemed a little less bizarre because laundry is a task done most efficiently in large batches and mostly you don't have personal preferences about how it's done, so having one person handle it rather than everyone running individual loads makes a little more sense. Whereas people get hungry at random times, and they can't stand xyz ingredient, etc.
My mom didn’t cook for me once she got divorced; I ate out of cans until I eventually learned to cook.
If you read the full article, it's pretty clear that she did not live in a house where nobody cooked for anybody, really, and she had no opportunity to learn. I'm hesitant to call the scenario she describes abusive unless one is inclined to call every culture with heavily gendered expectations about domesticity abusive. Bluntly, in a really abusive household, they would've made her learn to cook and serve, in various nasty ways. (Also, if you ate out of cans, you were presumably turning the stove on sometimes, which she says she didn't know how to do.)
This is also a genre of NY Times essay that annoys the heck out of me. There's a much richer story to be told here, that some of the people who bounced off this scoffing in disdain might have gotten something from, but the writer isn't given the space to tell it.
Or...she didn't take it? I was thinking about this last night (more because of the Mefi discussion than because of the article itself), and I thought, does making the egg represent some grim truce with domesticity for her? Does it represent a quiet, haphazard breakthrough (guess I can feed myself without dying of oppression after all?) Does it feel like a trick she's putting over on the domestic sphere (neener neener, I can get fed with minimum effort)? Is there anything here about choosing her own food (did her mother/servants/the staff at the boarding school she apparently went to not respect her wishes)? "Egg as independence" is...sort of half-baked. There's something there, but it's not finished.
Anyway, I hate domestic tasks and do them as little as possible (and, day-to-day, for no one else but my dog), but they are necessary labor, disrespecting the tasks themselves and those who perform them is immature, especially if you're benefiting from them at the time. This essay just reads very young.
posted by praemunire at 8:49 AM on April 12 [6 favorites]
I saw this for sure. It was bizarre to me, because I come from a large family and started doing my own laundry around age ten, but I guess seemed a little less bizarre because laundry is a task done most efficiently in large batches and mostly you don't have personal preferences about how it's done, so having one person handle it rather than everyone running individual loads makes a little more sense. Whereas people get hungry at random times, and they can't stand xyz ingredient, etc.
My mom didn’t cook for me once she got divorced; I ate out of cans until I eventually learned to cook.
If you read the full article, it's pretty clear that she did not live in a house where nobody cooked for anybody, really, and she had no opportunity to learn. I'm hesitant to call the scenario she describes abusive unless one is inclined to call every culture with heavily gendered expectations about domesticity abusive. Bluntly, in a really abusive household, they would've made her learn to cook and serve, in various nasty ways. (Also, if you ate out of cans, you were presumably turning the stove on sometimes, which she says she didn't know how to do.)
This is also a genre of NY Times essay that annoys the heck out of me. There's a much richer story to be told here, that some of the people who bounced off this scoffing in disdain might have gotten something from, but the writer isn't given the space to tell it.
Or...she didn't take it? I was thinking about this last night (more because of the Mefi discussion than because of the article itself), and I thought, does making the egg represent some grim truce with domesticity for her? Does it represent a quiet, haphazard breakthrough (guess I can feed myself without dying of oppression after all?) Does it feel like a trick she's putting over on the domestic sphere (neener neener, I can get fed with minimum effort)? Is there anything here about choosing her own food (did her mother/servants/the staff at the boarding school she apparently went to not respect her wishes)? "Egg as independence" is...sort of half-baked. There's something there, but it's not finished.
Anyway, I hate domestic tasks and do them as little as possible (and, day-to-day, for no one else but my dog), but they are necessary labor, disrespecting the tasks themselves and those who perform them is immature, especially if you're benefiting from them at the time. This essay just reads very young.
posted by praemunire at 8:49 AM on April 12 [6 favorites]
We all respond differently to things, I guess. When my dad died when I was 8, it wasn't even a question that my older sister and I would step up and take on duties for the house. Helping with the overnight paper deliveries that paid the bills, doing the laundry and the dishes, working odd jobs, etc.
When my mom went back to school and was away for the house nearly full time (between classes, her job and her internship), it fell to me to do the cooking. My sister doesn't dislike cooking, she just found it tedious in comparison to the things a teenage girl wants to do and 9 year old me couldn't really stand another Hungry Man or Budget frozen dinner.
But that was my response to a shitty situation. My sister's was hers. This woman's hers, but lord I couldn't fathom not knowing something practical and having a rebellious pride in it. Not my nature.
We had an older electric egg cooker (Presto, maybe?) when I was a kid with two metal racks for steaming eggs or poaching them. The lid had a cup that doubled as your measuring device to perfectly cook your eggs. Distinctly remember the odorous combination of sulfur and hot metal.
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:05 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
When my mom went back to school and was away for the house nearly full time (between classes, her job and her internship), it fell to me to do the cooking. My sister doesn't dislike cooking, she just found it tedious in comparison to the things a teenage girl wants to do and 9 year old me couldn't really stand another Hungry Man or Budget frozen dinner.
But that was my response to a shitty situation. My sister's was hers. This woman's hers, but lord I couldn't fathom not knowing something practical and having a rebellious pride in it. Not my nature.
We had an older electric egg cooker (Presto, maybe?) when I was a kid with two metal racks for steaming eggs or poaching them. The lid had a cup that doubled as your measuring device to perfectly cook your eggs. Distinctly remember the odorous combination of sulfur and hot metal.
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:05 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
Mittens:
What I find strangest in this discussion is that nobody's talking about peeling the eggs.
I ran across this method just yesterday. Have not tried it yet, so can't speak to it's effectiveness. (For those who can't click or can't watch Tik Tok, you put water in a jar and an egg, seal it and shake. Alternatively, put an egg in a glass (no water) cover with your hand and shake. If the shell doesn't come completely off, it's loosened from the egg to peel off quickly.)
An egg cooker is the only unitasker in my kitchen. It's great. We knocked out 18 eggs for Easter in 10 minutes? However long it took, they all came out perfect. And the best part? NO GRAY YOLKS! I also use this a lot when I work remote. Start the eggs, go back to work, get the eggs when I hear a ding.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 9:26 AM on April 12
What I find strangest in this discussion is that nobody's talking about peeling the eggs.
I ran across this method just yesterday. Have not tried it yet, so can't speak to it's effectiveness. (For those who can't click or can't watch Tik Tok, you put water in a jar and an egg, seal it and shake. Alternatively, put an egg in a glass (no water) cover with your hand and shake. If the shell doesn't come completely off, it's loosened from the egg to peel off quickly.)
An egg cooker is the only unitasker in my kitchen. It's great. We knocked out 18 eggs for Easter in 10 minutes? However long it took, they all came out perfect. And the best part? NO GRAY YOLKS! I also use this a lot when I work remote. Start the eggs, go back to work, get the eggs when I hear a ding.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 9:26 AM on April 12
I hadn't ever heard of egg cookers. I wonder if my mom would like one? She really likes soft-boiled eggs. Does it also do hardboiled? I would eat them more often if they were so easy - maybe make more egg salad...
I, too, once scoffed at kitchen gadgets that just do one thing. But then I got a rice cooker and was converted. Also, most people don't think twice about having a kettle (just boils water) or a toaster (just toasts bread); those who have them usually dedicate precious counter space to keeping them out all the time. if you make something frequently (tea, toast, rice - the first two are done multiple times a day at my house, and rice at least several times a week), it's worth having a device for it.
As for the actual point of the article: I also think that the author is very different from anyone (male or female) who didn't learn how to cook (or clean the bathroom, or do laundry, etc.) because they were never expected to do so before leaving their parents' house. She was rebelling, rightfully, against unfair gender expectations - that she would be required always to serve the men in her family.
I happen to think that it's important for parents to expect their children to learn how to do chores for the whole family - even from a young age, a little kid can help scrub the bathroom. But its completely different to teach all of your children, regardless of gender, and to put specific expectations only on your AFAB children.
So, power to her - and I hope that she learns to cook exactly as much as she wishes to for herself (which might be not-at-all).
posted by jb at 9:42 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
I, too, once scoffed at kitchen gadgets that just do one thing. But then I got a rice cooker and was converted. Also, most people don't think twice about having a kettle (just boils water) or a toaster (just toasts bread); those who have them usually dedicate precious counter space to keeping them out all the time. if you make something frequently (tea, toast, rice - the first two are done multiple times a day at my house, and rice at least several times a week), it's worth having a device for it.
As for the actual point of the article: I also think that the author is very different from anyone (male or female) who didn't learn how to cook (or clean the bathroom, or do laundry, etc.) because they were never expected to do so before leaving their parents' house. She was rebelling, rightfully, against unfair gender expectations - that she would be required always to serve the men in her family.
I happen to think that it's important for parents to expect their children to learn how to do chores for the whole family - even from a young age, a little kid can help scrub the bathroom. But its completely different to teach all of your children, regardless of gender, and to put specific expectations only on your AFAB children.
So, power to her - and I hope that she learns to cook exactly as much as she wishes to for herself (which might be not-at-all).
posted by jb at 9:42 AM on April 12 [5 favorites]
I gave away our instant pot because I didn’t use it enough (so heavy! So cumbersome! Everything except beans takes just as long if not longer!), but that egg cooker is daaaamn useful and gets used 1-2x/week.
I fully support people embracing some devices, and not others - there is no perfect device. We love our InstantPot (and I'm thinking of getting a second one) because we do use it frequently: it's replaced our rice cooker. I think of it as a rice cooker that also conveniently can do a stew or sterilize things or soak beans. (I was also making yogurt for a while, but had a few failures and haven't gotten on the bandwagon again - especially since milk isn't much cheaper than just buying plain yogurt).
posted by jb at 9:50 AM on April 12
I fully support people embracing some devices, and not others - there is no perfect device. We love our InstantPot (and I'm thinking of getting a second one) because we do use it frequently: it's replaced our rice cooker. I think of it as a rice cooker that also conveniently can do a stew or sterilize things or soak beans. (I was also making yogurt for a while, but had a few failures and haven't gotten on the bandwagon again - especially since milk isn't much cheaper than just buying plain yogurt).
posted by jb at 9:50 AM on April 12
I still don't understand what what going wrong emotionally in my family, but I don't think this is only about gender, even though gender issues can make it worse. I think the problem is something like high demands without good will.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 9:50 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 9:50 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]
jb:
Does it also do hardboiled? I would eat them more often if they were so easy - maybe make more egg salad...
It makes great hard boiled eggs. Like I said above, no gray on the outside of the yolk. While I haven't yet, I fully intend to start making some egg salad with it. One thing that has always held me back was I didn't want that gray gunk in there. (I'm sure it's barely visibile, but I would know...)
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 9:54 AM on April 12
Does it also do hardboiled? I would eat them more often if they were so easy - maybe make more egg salad...
It makes great hard boiled eggs. Like I said above, no gray on the outside of the yolk. While I haven't yet, I fully intend to start making some egg salad with it. One thing that has always held me back was I didn't want that gray gunk in there. (I'm sure it's barely visibile, but I would know...)
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 9:54 AM on April 12
I am amused! I brought one of these just a couple of weeks ago, after someone mentioned such a thing existed. I like eggs in my ramen and over my noodles, but it's tedious to have pull out a pot, half the time I end up with cracked eggs, etc. And so far the Dash has worked very well. The only issue is that their timing seems to have been gauged for room-temperature eggs, so I'm having to figure out what works for a room temperature egg. The medium-boiled setting gets me what I'd call a dippy egg, the white is cooked but the yolk hasn't even started to thicken, and you can't really peel it. I got a nice soft-boiled egg from going a third of the way between medium and hard, peelable but the yolk liquid and gone just a bit jammy around the edges. I may try the hardboiled setting just to see what it gets. My eventual goal is to get a good medium-boiled egg that I can marinate for ramen eggs.
It was so cheap, it's almost paid itself in bags of hardboiled eggs I have not brought already. Though I then used up that saving by buying an egg cup and slicer, in anticipation of being able to do dippy eggs and soldiers.
posted by tavella at 9:57 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
It was so cheap, it's almost paid itself in bags of hardboiled eggs I have not brought already. Though I then used up that saving by buying an egg cup and slicer, in anticipation of being able to do dippy eggs and soldiers.
posted by tavella at 9:57 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
I like eggs in my ramen
If I am boiling my ramen properly (as opposed to using kettle water), I drop the raw egg in for egg drop soup.
posted by jb at 10:02 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
If I am boiling my ramen properly (as opposed to using kettle water), I drop the raw egg in for egg drop soup.
posted by jb at 10:02 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
Several comments here blaming her for “making” her mother and female relatives do all the cooking for her, zero comments blaming her dad and male relatives for this.
posted by Hypatia at 10:21 AM on April 12 [17 favorites]
posted by Hypatia at 10:21 AM on April 12 [17 favorites]
Er, that second "room temperature egg" should be "refrigerated egg".
posted by tavella at 10:32 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
posted by tavella at 10:32 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
You know what egg device I would love to have? An egg fryer. I'm not an idiot, I swear I am an intelligent voting adult with so much culinary practice that I once catered a fundraising event for my old theater company in a Lower East Side apartment kitchen with only one cupboard and a folding card table as the only work surface.
But I cannot for the life of me manage to fry an egg properly. Boiled I can do, scrambled I can do, omelets I can do - but a fried egg, forget it. The whites are always rubbery and have a frill of brown burnt bits around the edges. I will grant that part of the problem is that I don't like runny yolks, but I can't ever seem to get the balance right between "overcooked white" vs. "undercooked yolk" in a fried egg. And I haven't even gotten to what happens when I try to flip the damn thing.
If someone came up with an automatic egg fryer I would be all over that thing like shit on Velcro.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:49 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
But I cannot for the life of me manage to fry an egg properly. Boiled I can do, scrambled I can do, omelets I can do - but a fried egg, forget it. The whites are always rubbery and have a frill of brown burnt bits around the edges. I will grant that part of the problem is that I don't like runny yolks, but I can't ever seem to get the balance right between "overcooked white" vs. "undercooked yolk" in a fried egg. And I haven't even gotten to what happens when I try to flip the damn thing.
If someone came up with an automatic egg fryer I would be all over that thing like shit on Velcro.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:49 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
When I was 22, I left the oven on all night and all day. For my 23rd birthday, my roommate got me this book.
posted by infinitewindow at 10:53 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 10:53 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
For frying, I find that if I get the egg close to done, then apply any excess butter/oil in the pan to the yolk, turn off the heat and cover for a bit, it gets done without overdoing it. Maybe that last part counts more as steaming than frying? But it also saves you from the flipping step.
posted by mittens at 10:55 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
posted by mittens at 10:55 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]
Several comments here blaming her for “making” her mother and female relatives do all the cooking for her
I just went back and ctrl-Fed "mak" to see if I'd missed something. I don't think anyone said that.
Regardless of who is preparing the food for you, it's ungracious to be disdainful about it (feeding your loved one is noble work, even if it's not for everyone, even if it's been a vector of exploitation of women throughout human history). It's immature to talk about how you decline to extend care while ignoring the care you've received/are receiving. In this whole article about not wanting to cook for others, she never once acknowledges that others have been cooking for her her whole life. That's what makes this feel like the 22-year-old of 2015 writing, rather than the 30/31(?)-year-old of 2024.
posted by praemunire at 11:01 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]
I just went back and ctrl-Fed "mak" to see if I'd missed something. I don't think anyone said that.
Regardless of who is preparing the food for you, it's ungracious to be disdainful about it (feeding your loved one is noble work, even if it's not for everyone, even if it's been a vector of exploitation of women throughout human history). It's immature to talk about how you decline to extend care while ignoring the care you've received/are receiving. In this whole article about not wanting to cook for others, she never once acknowledges that others have been cooking for her her whole life. That's what makes this feel like the 22-year-old of 2015 writing, rather than the 30/31(?)-year-old of 2024.
posted by praemunire at 11:01 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]
But I cannot for the life of me manage to fry an egg properly.
Ever try this approach?
When I was 22, I left the oven on all night and all day.
When I was about that age, I let some rice boil dry and smoked out the whole (shared) house. My roommates were rightfully peeved.
posted by praemunire at 11:03 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
Ever try this approach?
When I was 22, I left the oven on all night and all day.
When I was about that age, I let some rice boil dry and smoked out the whole (shared) house. My roommates were rightfully peeved.
posted by praemunire at 11:03 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
This post is interesting because it reminds me of several deeply ungrateful and abusive roommates I had. I also got exploited by said roommates to cook and clean, sigh. I am sympathetic, but you don't take advantage of others and use your childhood to excuse said behaviors.
posted by yueliang at 11:05 AM on April 12
posted by yueliang at 11:05 AM on April 12
"Ever try this approach?"
That's what I do (except with butter) for my fried eggs, but I'm not sure how well it works to cook a solid yolk. It's absolutely perfect if you want well cooked whites but a runny yolk, though.
posted by tavella at 11:27 AM on April 12
That's what I do (except with butter) for my fried eggs, but I'm not sure how well it works to cook a solid yolk. It's absolutely perfect if you want well cooked whites but a runny yolk, though.
posted by tavella at 11:27 AM on April 12
If someone is using their "care" as an excuse to force you into their preferred life path, it's not actually care and rebelling against it is valid.
posted by tavella at 11:28 AM on April 12 [8 favorites]
posted by tavella at 11:28 AM on April 12 [8 favorites]
I’ve been here a long time, so I shouldn’t be surprised at how hostile Metafilter gets about food, and yet.
The egg machine sounds good because I always feel like I’m gambling when I try for soft boiled eggs. Will it be a lovely yolky treat for my toast? Or a mostly hard disappointment? Set the timer and place a bet.
posted by betweenthebars at 11:39 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
The egg machine sounds good because I always feel like I’m gambling when I try for soft boiled eggs. Will it be a lovely yolky treat for my toast? Or a mostly hard disappointment? Set the timer and place a bet.
posted by betweenthebars at 11:39 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]
this was a beautiful piece of writing! i found it really effective and that first meal description is so joyful to me. but i also enjoyed this recent tumblr post about going to the limits of stubbornness as a kid when you don't have any other, as someone in the first reply says, tools of negotiation to use. i have things i was like that about that i'm still learning more balanced ways of approaching now that i have room for actual agency in my adulthood.
posted by gaybobbie at 11:47 AM on April 12 [7 favorites]
posted by gaybobbie at 11:47 AM on April 12 [7 favorites]
This post is interesting because it . . .
has generated a comment section that vacillates wildly between two totally unrelated discussions: one about smashing the patriarchy (vel non), and one about single-task egg cookers, and there is an absolutely unprecedented level of bean-plating in both.
posted by The Bellman at 11:48 AM on April 12 [10 favorites]
has generated a comment section that vacillates wildly between two totally unrelated discussions: one about smashing the patriarchy (vel non), and one about single-task egg cookers, and there is an absolutely unprecedented level of bean-plating in both.
posted by The Bellman at 11:48 AM on April 12 [10 favorites]
I think it's worth remembering that she was a child in her parents' house, not a roommate. Even as a teenager, her relationship to her parents is the one shaped by her childhood, not an independent adult's relationship. To a child, parents can seem all-powerful, and resisting them can seem like a titanic task that you can't possibly overdo, and one where you, the weak and dependent, are justified in using extreme tactics against your parents, the powerful ones.
Also, with parents, things that seem routine or easily thrown-off to the parent can seem titanic and coercive to a child.
Also, I'm very impressed that the backstory of this thread seems to be that most of us were totally, totally into doing chores and cooking for relatives as teenagers, and that most of us didn't think of it as "I am being forced to do unfairly gendered labor like all the women in my household, so I will refuse" but rather as "I should pitch in out of solidarity with other oppressed women in my household, since after all they would otherwise have to cook for me". That's a really mature understanding to have in your teens.
I wasn't, frankly! I saw my mother getting a really raw deal in some ways (although as far as chores went, my dad really genuinely did half) and I wanted nothing to do with the traditional female role. This did isolate me from my mother, which I regretted deeply later, but wow, I sure didn't want to get put in that womanhood box, and it seemed to take a lot to resist it since everyone of all genders wanted me in there.
And I don't even have the excuse of a household with highly gendered labor!
posted by Frowner at 11:49 AM on April 12 [17 favorites]
Also, with parents, things that seem routine or easily thrown-off to the parent can seem titanic and coercive to a child.
Also, I'm very impressed that the backstory of this thread seems to be that most of us were totally, totally into doing chores and cooking for relatives as teenagers, and that most of us didn't think of it as "I am being forced to do unfairly gendered labor like all the women in my household, so I will refuse" but rather as "I should pitch in out of solidarity with other oppressed women in my household, since after all they would otherwise have to cook for me". That's a really mature understanding to have in your teens.
I wasn't, frankly! I saw my mother getting a really raw deal in some ways (although as far as chores went, my dad really genuinely did half) and I wanted nothing to do with the traditional female role. This did isolate me from my mother, which I regretted deeply later, but wow, I sure didn't want to get put in that womanhood box, and it seemed to take a lot to resist it since everyone of all genders wanted me in there.
And I don't even have the excuse of a household with highly gendered labor!
posted by Frowner at 11:49 AM on April 12 [17 favorites]
A microwave oven, for those of you who haven’t seen one, is a box that’s usually at least a cubic foot in volume inside. Some are much larger. Some have a very complex keypad that you have to read a manual to learn, and others have a single dial that you can twist that will cause the food to heat.
Food sold in cans is fully cooked and safe to eat as soon as you open it. Many street people and truck drivers owe their safe nourishment to this convenience.
It is wholly possible for a person to eat without turning on a stove, or another person cooking “for them.”
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:50 AM on April 12 [4 favorites]
Food sold in cans is fully cooked and safe to eat as soon as you open it. Many street people and truck drivers owe their safe nourishment to this convenience.
It is wholly possible for a person to eat without turning on a stove, or another person cooking “for them.”
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:50 AM on April 12 [4 favorites]
One thing I'd like to bring up is that this was the parents failing in their obligation to teach their child how to be self-sufficient.
Their teaching method failed. Since it involved making this particular child feel familial obligations, this particular child didn't respond to the teaching method. The proper response to that isn't to teach this way harder, it's to find a way to teach this particular child. If someone in the family had framed it as, "You want to be independent? Learn how to cook for yourself." or any number of other approaches, the author might have left home with a valuable skill set and been better prepared for the world.
This wasn't about cooking. It was about power dynamics.
To me, this screams of a family that's trying to make their child into something they want them to be, instead of finding out who their children are and who they want to become and supporting them. Whether it qualifies as abuse or not, trying to force a child into a mold that they don't fit is a surefire way to create this kind of passive, obstinate, and ultimately successful rebellion.
posted by MrVisible at 12:02 PM on April 12 [16 favorites]
Their teaching method failed. Since it involved making this particular child feel familial obligations, this particular child didn't respond to the teaching method. The proper response to that isn't to teach this way harder, it's to find a way to teach this particular child. If someone in the family had framed it as, "You want to be independent? Learn how to cook for yourself." or any number of other approaches, the author might have left home with a valuable skill set and been better prepared for the world.
This wasn't about cooking. It was about power dynamics.
To me, this screams of a family that's trying to make their child into something they want them to be, instead of finding out who their children are and who they want to become and supporting them. Whether it qualifies as abuse or not, trying to force a child into a mold that they don't fit is a surefire way to create this kind of passive, obstinate, and ultimately successful rebellion.
posted by MrVisible at 12:02 PM on April 12 [16 favorites]
For all of those who struggle with egg-boiling in water here is some practical advice: the variables are the size of your egg and the time it takes to get the water to boil. You can eliminate the first one by always buying the same size eggs, and the second by starting the eggs in boiling water. If you put the eggs in water that is already boiling, there is a big risk of the eggs cracking. This is prevented by punching a hole in the thick end of the egg with a needle before boiling. You can even buy a single use device for the purpose.
Then you need to spend a week or two to perfect the timing to your preference.
I start my M/L eggs in cold water, and I use a very fast induction burner. For my morning soft-boiled egg I like a very runny yolk and I give it 4 minutes from when the water is boiling. For salads, I like the eggs on the verge of jammy, but hard enough to make nice cuts, that would be 9 minutes. I rarely make sandwiches with thin sliced eggs, but if I do, I might go up to 12 minutes, but then the risky business begins. I don't like going there, then rather miss the sandwiches. But of course there are people obsessing about this on the internets.
I use the timer on my phone.
When the alarm goes off, I immediately take the pot to the sink, and pour cold water over my egg(s), even if I want to eat the warm. This stops the cooking process, and makes them easier to peel if relevant. For my hot soft-boiled egg, this is only till the egg has cooled enough on the outside for me to just handle it. It will still be warm inside.
posted by mumimor at 12:04 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]
Then you need to spend a week or two to perfect the timing to your preference.
I start my M/L eggs in cold water, and I use a very fast induction burner. For my morning soft-boiled egg I like a very runny yolk and I give it 4 minutes from when the water is boiling. For salads, I like the eggs on the verge of jammy, but hard enough to make nice cuts, that would be 9 minutes. I rarely make sandwiches with thin sliced eggs, but if I do, I might go up to 12 minutes, but then the risky business begins. I don't like going there, then rather miss the sandwiches. But of course there are people obsessing about this on the internets.
I use the timer on my phone.
When the alarm goes off, I immediately take the pot to the sink, and pour cold water over my egg(s), even if I want to eat the warm. This stops the cooking process, and makes them easier to peel if relevant. For my hot soft-boiled egg, this is only till the egg has cooled enough on the outside for me to just handle it. It will still be warm inside.
posted by mumimor at 12:04 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]
A microwave oven, for those of you who haven’t seen one, is a box that’s usually at least a cubic foot in volume inside. Some are much larger. Some have a very complex keypad that you have to read a manual to learn, and others have a single dial that you can twist that will cause the food to heat.
The unfamiliarity of so many people on the internet with salads or sandwiches or snacks is also somewhat bewildering to me. Did we not all see the Girl Dinner stuff making the rounds a few weeks back?
I had an ex who was upset to the point of visible anger about the idea of Not Hot Food so I guess that's a thing, but it's entirely possible to be a non-cook who nonetheless eats just fine without abusing the carework of others.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:10 PM on April 12 [7 favorites]
The unfamiliarity of so many people on the internet with salads or sandwiches or snacks is also somewhat bewildering to me. Did we not all see the Girl Dinner stuff making the rounds a few weeks back?
I had an ex who was upset to the point of visible anger about the idea of Not Hot Food so I guess that's a thing, but it's entirely possible to be a non-cook who nonetheless eats just fine without abusing the carework of others.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:10 PM on April 12 [7 favorites]
Again, as far as being a child/teen at home goes - in households where food is a big deal, very often you can't just say "mom, dad, I don't want to cook for people and I don't want anyone to cook for me, so from now on I'll eat sandwiches and canned vegetables only, and I'll prepare them myself". It may be that this is how millennial parents handle things, but eating together and eating more or less the same food was a big, big thing in my family and I would be surprised if the writer's family would have been cool with her just opting out of the system.
posted by Frowner at 12:23 PM on April 12 [5 favorites]
posted by Frowner at 12:23 PM on April 12 [5 favorites]
(My comment was fully directed at the adults online who seem to believe that one either cooks fresh hot food from scratch for all meals, or else one lives on pure garbage/obscenely expensive takeout. I was not permitted to opt out of family meals as a child either but as an adult I can one hundo percent opt out of cooking without demanding petulantly that some other person cook for me.)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:48 PM on April 12 [7 favorites]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:48 PM on April 12 [7 favorites]
I came prepared to leave a snarky comment, but then I read the article.
Yes, the author rebelled as teenager. Then, they regretted not acquiring some life skills. Later, they began to acquire life skills on their own terms! I'll bet they can boil water and make pasta now, or maybe something plenty complicated, but only if they want to.
posted by jellywerker at 1:18 PM on April 12 [8 favorites]
Yes, the author rebelled as teenager. Then, they regretted not acquiring some life skills. Later, they began to acquire life skills on their own terms! I'll bet they can boil water and make pasta now, or maybe something plenty complicated, but only if they want to.
posted by jellywerker at 1:18 PM on April 12 [8 favorites]
a frill of brown burnt bits around the edges
that's not failure, that's deliciousness!
posted by trig at 1:18 PM on April 12 [2 favorites]
that's not failure, that's deliciousness!
posted by trig at 1:18 PM on April 12 [2 favorites]
I love to cook, but I can't make a good soft boiled egg to save my life.
Similarly, I cannot make good rice in a pot.
Hi, are you me? (My only edit is hard boiled, not soft boiled. Can't get it right. Roasting instead of boiling helps, but the yolks are still greyish.)
I'd buy that egg cooker just for a good HB. Don't need a rice cooker; Ben's (no longer saying "Uncle") ready-rice was already the game-changer for rice in my house.
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:20 PM on April 12
Similarly, I cannot make good rice in a pot.
Hi, are you me? (My only edit is hard boiled, not soft boiled. Can't get it right. Roasting instead of boiling helps, but the yolks are still greyish.)
I'd buy that egg cooker just for a good HB. Don't need a rice cooker; Ben's (no longer saying "Uncle") ready-rice was already the game-changer for rice in my house.
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:20 PM on April 12
Google "microwave poached egg" if you want the absolute easiest egg. It works for ramen eggs too since you can get the outside cooked and the inside still soft.
Alas, I can no longer eat eggs, but I'm still excited about the new Tim Anderson microwave cookbook that's coming out soon.
posted by tofu_crouton at 2:19 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]
Alas, I can no longer eat eggs, but I'm still excited about the new Tim Anderson microwave cookbook that's coming out soon.
posted by tofu_crouton at 2:19 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]
Oh! I have two Dash rapid egg cookers, gathering dust near the microwave. And eggs.
Sounds like a plan.
It's still gonna be difficult for them to beat the Stoneware Wave microwave cooker. My husband and I have two of them and they make a decent scrambled egg.
Team Boiled Dry a Pot of Eggs here.
In theory all I do for hard-boiled eggs is put a dozen eggs in a pot, cover with tap water, and put on the stove at medium heat. Check after ten minutes, then at five-minute intervals until boiling.
Set the timer for ten minutes.
After the timer goes off, turn off the heat (important!) and run cold water in the pan. Crack any eggs that you want to shell immediately and leave them all in the cold water to cool down.
Roll the cracked eggs in your hands and shell from the large end.
I can stand a runny egg, but after four decades my husband won't bother with them.
posted by TrishaU at 4:42 PM on April 12
Sounds like a plan.
It's still gonna be difficult for them to beat the Stoneware Wave microwave cooker. My husband and I have two of them and they make a decent scrambled egg.
Team Boiled Dry a Pot of Eggs here.
In theory all I do for hard-boiled eggs is put a dozen eggs in a pot, cover with tap water, and put on the stove at medium heat. Check after ten minutes, then at five-minute intervals until boiling.
Set the timer for ten minutes.
After the timer goes off, turn off the heat (important!) and run cold water in the pan. Crack any eggs that you want to shell immediately and leave them all in the cold water to cool down.
Roll the cracked eggs in your hands and shell from the large end.
I can stand a runny egg, but after four decades my husband won't bother with them.
posted by TrishaU at 4:42 PM on April 12
Here's a common way soft-boiled eggs are done where I am:
You just need a mug, your eggs, and water that's just been boiled. Soft-boiled eggs here (especially when eaten with toast) tend to be done very soft, with a creamier texture - the exterior is not firm or solid.
1) Place room temperature eggs into your mug. (If you store eggs in a fridge, then you can use those too, but the instructions will differ a little.)
2) Pour just-boiled water into your mug. Cover the mug with something - a coaster, a small plate, a book, any sort of flat rigid lid/object.
3) Wait 7 minutes. (If your eggs were fridge-temperature, then refresh the mug with another round of just-boiled water after those 7 minutes, and wait for another 2-ish minutes.)
4) Pour out the water in the sink. If the eggs are too hot to hold/touch and you're impatient, run the eggs under running water.
5) Crack the eggs into a bowl; scoop out the shells' contents with a spoon, eat and enjoy with condiments.
Some old-school hawker stalls / kaya toast places make and serve soft-boiled eggs by placing the un-cracked eggs in a bowl, pouring boiling water into the bowl and giving it to customers covered (sometimes with a timer). Then customers wait out the 6-7 minutes at their own table and crack + scoop out the eggs themselves. It's usually eaten with soy sauce and white pepper.
It's pretty low-effort to make at home if you have an electric kettle and a mug. I had an egg cooker in college but I find this way easier since it just involves pouring boiling water into a mug and waiting. (imo it's also tastier.)
posted by aielen at 5:36 PM on April 12 [9 favorites]
You just need a mug, your eggs, and water that's just been boiled. Soft-boiled eggs here (especially when eaten with toast) tend to be done very soft, with a creamier texture - the exterior is not firm or solid.
1) Place room temperature eggs into your mug. (If you store eggs in a fridge, then you can use those too, but the instructions will differ a little.)
2) Pour just-boiled water into your mug. Cover the mug with something - a coaster, a small plate, a book, any sort of flat rigid lid/object.
3) Wait 7 minutes. (If your eggs were fridge-temperature, then refresh the mug with another round of just-boiled water after those 7 minutes, and wait for another 2-ish minutes.)
4) Pour out the water in the sink. If the eggs are too hot to hold/touch and you're impatient, run the eggs under running water.
5) Crack the eggs into a bowl; scoop out the shells' contents with a spoon, eat and enjoy with condiments.
Some old-school hawker stalls / kaya toast places make and serve soft-boiled eggs by placing the un-cracked eggs in a bowl, pouring boiling water into the bowl and giving it to customers covered (sometimes with a timer). Then customers wait out the 6-7 minutes at their own table and crack + scoop out the eggs themselves. It's usually eaten with soy sauce and white pepper.
It's pretty low-effort to make at home if you have an electric kettle and a mug. I had an egg cooker in college but I find this way easier since it just involves pouring boiling water into a mug and waiting. (imo it's also tastier.)
posted by aielen at 5:36 PM on April 12 [9 favorites]
I cannot make good rice in a pot.
My reliable standard method for white rice on old-school electric hotplates and stovetops:
1. Turn on a burner to maximum.
2. Put dry rice in a pot whose base fits nicely on the burner.
3. Add twice the rice's dry volume of water. For example, if I'd put in one cup of dry rice, I'd add two cups of water. I usually use the same pot and cook the same amount of rice and just eyeball these, but if I'm using a different pot I'll measure.
4. Put the pot on the now partially heated burner.
5. Put a lid on the pot.
6. Wait for the pot to come to a full boil, where it's making enough steam that the vent hisses loudly or the lid gets knocked askew if it doesn't have a vent.
7. Turn off the burner.
8. Leave the pot sitting on the now slowly cooling burner until all bubbling noises have completely stopped.
For gas or induction:
1. Put dry rice in a pot whose base fits nicely on the burner.
2. Add twice the rice's volume of water.
3. Put the pot on a burner.
4. Put a lid on the pot.
5. Set burner to maximum.
6. Wait for the pot to come to a full boil.
7. Take the lid off.
8. Turn burner down to minimum.
9. Let it keep simmering until the water level just drops below the surface of the rice.
10. Put the lid back on.
11. Turn off the burner.
12. Leave the pot sitting on the now-cooling burner with the lid on until it's cooled enough to touch without hurting.
For brown rice the process is a hybrid of these that takes about 40 minutes instead of ten, with the extra time all being taken up by an extended step 9.
These stovetop methods don't have the set-and-forget convenience of a rice cooker, but they also don't leave a hard crust stuck firmly to the bottom like a rice cooker does after clicking through to Keep Warm and then being forgotten about.
posted by flabdablet at 9:13 PM on April 12 [4 favorites]
My reliable standard method for white rice on old-school electric hotplates and stovetops:
1. Turn on a burner to maximum.
2. Put dry rice in a pot whose base fits nicely on the burner.
3. Add twice the rice's dry volume of water. For example, if I'd put in one cup of dry rice, I'd add two cups of water. I usually use the same pot and cook the same amount of rice and just eyeball these, but if I'm using a different pot I'll measure.
4. Put the pot on the now partially heated burner.
5. Put a lid on the pot.
6. Wait for the pot to come to a full boil, where it's making enough steam that the vent hisses loudly or the lid gets knocked askew if it doesn't have a vent.
7. Turn off the burner.
8. Leave the pot sitting on the now slowly cooling burner until all bubbling noises have completely stopped.
For gas or induction:
1. Put dry rice in a pot whose base fits nicely on the burner.
2. Add twice the rice's volume of water.
3. Put the pot on a burner.
4. Put a lid on the pot.
5. Set burner to maximum.
6. Wait for the pot to come to a full boil.
7. Take the lid off.
8. Turn burner down to minimum.
9. Let it keep simmering until the water level just drops below the surface of the rice.
10. Put the lid back on.
11. Turn off the burner.
12. Leave the pot sitting on the now-cooling burner with the lid on until it's cooled enough to touch without hurting.
For brown rice the process is a hybrid of these that takes about 40 minutes instead of ten, with the extra time all being taken up by an extended step 9.
These stovetop methods don't have the set-and-forget convenience of a rice cooker, but they also don't leave a hard crust stuck firmly to the bottom like a rice cooker does after clicking through to Keep Warm and then being forgotten about.
posted by flabdablet at 9:13 PM on April 12 [4 favorites]
Some of us consider hard rice crust a treat, but for best results you want to lay down a layer of thin slices of potato in a little oil and then pile the rice on top. A little saffron in the water will produce a lovely range of yellow and golden brown colours. That's the tahdig way!
posted by seraphine at 9:55 PM on April 12 [5 favorites]
posted by seraphine at 9:55 PM on April 12 [5 favorites]
(rinse your rice first to get the arsenic out!)
posted by mittens at 5:37 AM on April 13 [2 favorites]
posted by mittens at 5:37 AM on April 13 [2 favorites]
FSANZ isn't fussed, so neither am I.
Your pollutant load may of course vary, as may the trustworthiness of your local regulators. Given the quality of the rice that's available to me where I live, I'd rather hang onto the available nutrients than wash them out for fear of arsenic that I have no reason to believe there's enough of to hurt me.
posted by flabdablet at 7:15 AM on April 13 [1 favorite]
Your pollutant load may of course vary, as may the trustworthiness of your local regulators. Given the quality of the rice that's available to me where I live, I'd rather hang onto the available nutrients than wash them out for fear of arsenic that I have no reason to believe there's enough of to hurt me.
posted by flabdablet at 7:15 AM on April 13 [1 favorite]
unless one is inclined to call every culture with heavily gendered expectations about domesticity abusive.
I mean, yeah? I kind of am inclined to do so.
posted by cooker girl at 8:35 AM on April 13 [9 favorites]
I mean, yeah? I kind of am inclined to do so.
posted by cooker girl at 8:35 AM on April 13 [9 favorites]
An interesting thing I learned about rice a while back is that polished rice absorbs about an equal volume of water, and evaporation will take away about a quarter cup of water. So I just rinse the rice well, add an equal volume of water plus a quarter to a third of a cup of water, soak for thirty minutes if it’s basmati or Japanese short grain, put it on high heat with a partial lid until it starts bubbling, then down to the lowest simmer setting for twenty minutes, then rest it for twenty minutes, then fluff and apply fat if needed.
Steaming rice is a great technique as well, especially for things like jasmine rice. Boil rinsed rice around three minutes (or longer for more soft) in abundant water, drain well in a strainer and immediately transfer to a cloth-lined steamer without rinsing, level the rice and poke a few holes with a chopstick, steam ten minutes, rest five minutes, remove and fluff. This has been the best way of getting dry, fully separate grains of rice and it’s my go-to technique if I want to make fried rice.
posted by slkinsey at 9:19 AM on April 13 [1 favorite]
Steaming rice is a great technique as well, especially for things like jasmine rice. Boil rinsed rice around three minutes (or longer for more soft) in abundant water, drain well in a strainer and immediately transfer to a cloth-lined steamer without rinsing, level the rice and poke a few holes with a chopstick, steam ten minutes, rest five minutes, remove and fluff. This has been the best way of getting dry, fully separate grains of rice and it’s my go-to technique if I want to make fried rice.
posted by slkinsey at 9:19 AM on April 13 [1 favorite]
While I'm sure they make very nice rice and eggs, nearly all of these techniques require messing up more stuff to wash later or heating up water separately or standing around timing something other extra effort. The joy of the rice cooker and egg steamer is that they require at most washing one thing (and none in the case of the egg cooker!) does the timing for you, and if you forget about it entirely the worst problem several hours later is cold rice or slightly overcooked eggs. The technique that would supplant them in my case (and does sometimes) is 90 second precooked rice packets and packages of cooked peeled eggs.
Though I will still cook eggs for my breakfast sandwiches in a pan, because it's nearly equally easy: it's maybe... 2 minutes of cooking folding flipping?, gets me a rectangle that can be cut into two or three sandwich-sized pieces and the teflon pan can just be wiped clean with a paper towel afterwards.
I really feel you don't grasp the depth of our laziness! Or ADHD, or disability, or time crunch, or...
posted by tavella at 1:19 PM on April 14 [2 favorites]
Though I will still cook eggs for my breakfast sandwiches in a pan, because it's nearly equally easy: it's maybe... 2 minutes of cooking folding flipping?, gets me a rectangle that can be cut into two or three sandwich-sized pieces and the teflon pan can just be wiped clean with a paper towel afterwards.
I really feel you don't grasp the depth of our laziness! Or ADHD, or disability, or time crunch, or...
posted by tavella at 1:19 PM on April 14 [2 favorites]
mrs. slkinsey would kill me for adding yet another piece of kitchen equipment. I used to write about these things, so I have an ungodly amount of cookware, knives and specialized equipment including everything from stainless lined copper and carbon steel pans, to pre-war NOS high carbon Sabatier and custom kitchen knives, to a culinary centrifuge, a pasta torchio, a self-chilling gelato maker and around a half-dozen sous vide circulators, and so on... most of which I was fortunate to get for low or no cost once upon a time. If I could get away with it I'd get a rice cooker, an Anova Prevision Oven and the electric Ooni pizza oven.
Couldn't see getting a dedicated cooker for hard cooked-eggs. I just cook them for 12 minutes in a steamer basket, plunge into ice water, crack after a few minutes to let some water under the membrane, and then peel when fully chilled. So long as they aren't super-fresh, I'm able to get the shells off easily without tearing up the whites. The ease and quality of peeling, for me, more than makes up for having to set a 12 minute timer. But I don't do hard-cooked eggs more than once a month or so. How does the Dash cool down the eggs once they're reached the desired level of doneness?
In any event, I'm definitely pro-kitchen equipment that gets used. And it doesn't have to get used all that often to be worth it, depending on what it is. I probably make spätzle once a year, but it would be zero times a year if I didn't have a spätzle maker.
posted by slkinsey at 8:35 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
Couldn't see getting a dedicated cooker for hard cooked-eggs. I just cook them for 12 minutes in a steamer basket, plunge into ice water, crack after a few minutes to let some water under the membrane, and then peel when fully chilled. So long as they aren't super-fresh, I'm able to get the shells off easily without tearing up the whites. The ease and quality of peeling, for me, more than makes up for having to set a 12 minute timer. But I don't do hard-cooked eggs more than once a month or so. How does the Dash cool down the eggs once they're reached the desired level of doneness?
In any event, I'm definitely pro-kitchen equipment that gets used. And it doesn't have to get used all that often to be worth it, depending on what it is. I probably make spätzle once a year, but it would be zero times a year if I didn't have a spätzle maker.
posted by slkinsey at 8:35 AM on April 15 [2 favorites]
I am an Indian-American woman and this article MADE ABSOLUTE COMPLETE SENSE TO ME and I empathized extremely thoroughly with it. As a person in my twenties I did know how to turn on a stove, boil water, make a few basic stovetop and oven and rice-cooker dishes, etc. But I one thousand percent empathize with how the author finds freedom, autonomy, in convenience food such as the device-boiled egg.
Right now I'm not going to get into the particulars of how my childhood damaged my relationship to food and cooking. But I did and do find such an oasis in readymade meals like frozen lasagna -- foods that no one had never tried to push or cajole me to eat. Foods that I have only ever chosen. Foods that I am extremely unlikely to ruin as I prepare them to eat. They are a sanctuary. I say this, knowing that some people may reply to tell me I ought not find sanctuary in them. Which is why I'm likely going to remove this thread from my Recent Activity right after I post this, so that I don't run the risk of your voices getting into my head and eroding that refuge.
posted by brainwane at 6:30 PM on April 15 [11 favorites]
Right now I'm not going to get into the particulars of how my childhood damaged my relationship to food and cooking. But I did and do find such an oasis in readymade meals like frozen lasagna -- foods that no one had never tried to push or cajole me to eat. Foods that I have only ever chosen. Foods that I am extremely unlikely to ruin as I prepare them to eat. They are a sanctuary. I say this, knowing that some people may reply to tell me I ought not find sanctuary in them. Which is why I'm likely going to remove this thread from my Recent Activity right after I post this, so that I don't run the risk of your voices getting into my head and eroding that refuge.
posted by brainwane at 6:30 PM on April 15 [11 favorites]
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posted by gwint at 8:38 PM on April 11