Myth Dispelled: Shoe Size, Penis Size Not Linked.

September 30, 2002 9:18 AM

Myth Dispelled: Shoe Size, Penis Size Not Linked. I guess there's no need in buying my shoes two sizes too large any longer (pardon the pun). Damn you scientists!
posted by pallid (22 comments total)

It isn't shoe size, it's the size of your nose!

Any Germans around at the moment? What is the saying again?
posted by ginz at 9:26 AM on September 30, 2002

Because it wasn't feasible to measure the length of the erect penis, the researchers measured the penis when gently stretched.

Sure there it. I can hear the porn-style music now.
posted by benjh at 9:36 AM on September 30, 2002

They don't call me "Tony the Pony" because I run fast... ;)
posted by Dark Messiah at 9:47 AM on September 30, 2002

Correction: No connection between british shoe sizes and penile length. ;-)
-Size 13, OR
posted by woil at 9:58 AM on September 30, 2002

"I have some ideas that I am currently putting together as a research proposal," the researcher added. "There must be some part of the body that is predictive of penile length..."

"There just has to be! I've got to get my hands on more of these hot, hot cocks!"

Who the hell is funding this research, anyway?
posted by sklero at 11:21 AM on September 30, 2002

Thank you! I need to print this out and give it to one of the guys who bowls at my parents' bowling alley. Everytime someone comes up to get a pair of size 12s, he'll elbow me and tell me to keep that one.
posted by jodic at 11:40 AM on September 30, 2002

"some part of the body that is predictive of penile length..."

Uh, hello? How about *drum roll*.... the PENIS?!!?
posted by TuffAustin at 12:42 PM on September 30, 2002

ginz, it's Wie die Nas' des Mannes, so auch sein Johannes.
posted by arf at 1:53 PM on September 30, 2002

Perhaps if I show this article to my shoe salesman, he'll stop insisting on "doublechecking" my measurements...
posted by dmd at 1:58 PM on September 30, 2002

In the current study, the researchers studied men visiting a urologist for various reasons. Because it wasn't feasible to measure the length of the erect penis, the researchers measured the penis when gently stretched.

I'm sorry, I'm still trying to picture my urologist: "Well, you see, there's this study I'm participating in. May I gently stretch your penis and measure it?"
posted by tippiedog at 2:02 PM on September 30, 2002

At 13EEE, I can confirm this is true. :-(
posted by stevefromsparks at 2:10 PM on September 30, 2002

Wouldn't this study just determine how stretchy one's penis is?
posted by jpburns at 2:37 PM on September 30, 2002

The most reliable method to establish the size of a man's penis, is to ask him to take it out and show it to you. You can then measure it with a ruler :-)
posted by Arqa at 3:20 PM on September 30, 2002

"There is a strong correlation between stretched penile length and erect... The correlation is so strong that the results can be extrapolated to erect penises."

... As reports of this study were broadcast on the television news, some of the women in the bar giggled. Many of the men tried self-consciously not to look at their shoes. Gumby just smiled to himself and took another sip of Scotch.
posted by Hildago at 4:09 PM on September 30, 2002

In my *ahem* experience, the tip of the middle finger to the base of the palm seems to be a good indicator, in most cases.

Guys?
posted by Miss Beth at 4:15 PM on September 30, 2002

Holy cow, then I must be friggin' huge! I knew all those piano lessons as a kid would pay off!
posted by hincandenza at 4:49 PM on September 30, 2002

Well, you know what they say, Pee Wee -- big feet, big boots.
posted by Daze at 6:14 PM on September 30, 2002

Are you man enough to take the test???
posted by delboy_trotter at 6:46 PM on September 30, 2002

So, let me get this straight ... the penis ... it stretches?
posted by maudlin at 8:36 PM on September 30, 2002

In my *ahem* experience, the tip of the middle finger to the base of the palm seems to be a good indicator, in most cases. Guys?-- Miss Beth


Yep, I second this theory...and now that we've got that all cleared up...I have to know...these stretchy penises...do they vibrate too?
posted by dejah420 at 8:41 PM on September 30, 2002

Click here if you want to see a picture of Dr. Jyoti. :-)
posted by livingdots at 10:20 PM on September 30, 2002

Yes the penis stretches. When soft. Never been near one?
posted by Dantien at 7:12 PM on October 1, 2002