How To Avoid Being Eaten By A Black Bear
June 12, 2024 9:52 PM Subscribe
How To Avoid Being Eaten By A Black Bear. A recent study of fatal black bear attacks shows that hungry males are the ones to really worry about.
the advice to travel in groups of 3 or more is just good sense. the more people in your group, the more likely it is that at least one of them is slower than you
posted by logicpunk at 11:42 PM on June 12 [30 favorites]
posted by logicpunk at 11:42 PM on June 12 [30 favorites]
And yet, women would still choose the bear, so think about that for a second, man-dudes.
posted by prismatic7 at 11:56 PM on June 12 [11 favorites]
posted by prismatic7 at 11:56 PM on June 12 [11 favorites]
My primary method of keeping myself safe from bears is to not be in the same woods as them!
posted by drewbage1847 at 12:00 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
posted by drewbage1847 at 12:00 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
Black bears are sweet. They kill a half-person per year. If you round down that's zero people per year. I once had a friend--a 5' tall woman who'd worked as a park ranger--chase a black bear down a trail because it had grabbed someone's backpack. It ran from her and eventually dropped the pack to get her off its trail. (I admit this probably not OSHA approved technique, but in her defense she was off the clock when she did this.)
What scares me the most when I'm hiking isn't bears. It's wild turkeys. They can be really nasty. But the real problem is that if you get mauled by a bear or a mountain lion, everyone will be asking you the story and talking about how scary it must have been. Try showing up to work and explain that the cuts are from when you tried to run away from a turkey but it was too fast for you. Utter humiliation.
posted by mark k at 12:21 AM on June 13 [76 favorites]
What scares me the most when I'm hiking isn't bears. It's wild turkeys. They can be really nasty. But the real problem is that if you get mauled by a bear or a mountain lion, everyone will be asking you the story and talking about how scary it must have been. Try showing up to work and explain that the cuts are from when you tried to run away from a turkey but it was too fast for you. Utter humiliation.
posted by mark k at 12:21 AM on June 13 [76 favorites]
5 ) Learn to recognize the behavior of a black bear that is considering you for its next meal. These bears silently stalk their prey, sometimes for hours, before quickly rushing to attack.
OK that's concerning!
6 ) A black bear that is stalking you may be deterred by aggressive actions, such as shouting, spraying it with bear spray or hitting it with rocks, sticks or even fists. Avoid harassing bears that are just going about their business, though; females seldom attack humans except when provoked by people or dogs.
So knowing the difference between "aggressive bear" and "minding their own business bear" is kind of crucial!
Luckily the only wild animals I'm likely to encounter are baboons, but they're freaky enough. They just look so utterly unimpressed with any humans.
posted by Zumbador at 12:22 AM on June 13 [9 favorites]
OK that's concerning!
6 ) A black bear that is stalking you may be deterred by aggressive actions, such as shouting, spraying it with bear spray or hitting it with rocks, sticks or even fists. Avoid harassing bears that are just going about their business, though; females seldom attack humans except when provoked by people or dogs.
So knowing the difference between "aggressive bear" and "minding their own business bear" is kind of crucial!
Luckily the only wild animals I'm likely to encounter are baboons, but they're freaky enough. They just look so utterly unimpressed with any humans.
posted by Zumbador at 12:22 AM on June 13 [9 favorites]
So the takeaway is that the TikTok question does not account for the intersection of “man” and “bear?”
posted by atoxyl at 12:40 AM on June 13 [2 favorites]
posted by atoxyl at 12:40 AM on June 13 [2 favorites]
Black bears are sweet. They kill a half-person per year. If you round down that's zero people per year.
Even closer to zero if you don't count what happened to Bears Georg.
posted by JHarris at 1:00 AM on June 13 [36 favorites]
Even closer to zero if you don't count what happened to Bears Georg.
posted by JHarris at 1:00 AM on June 13 [36 favorites]
I am now worried people are going to die trying to determine the sex of Black Bears.
posted by srboisvert at 1:09 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 1:09 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
I bet brown bears are really miffed that they've been thrown in with black bears.
posted by groda at 1:21 AM on June 13
posted by groda at 1:21 AM on June 13
I am now worried people are going to die trying to determine the sex of Black Bears.
But how many will be saved because the bear thought he was getting a handjob?
posted by biffa at 2:58 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
But how many will be saved because the bear thought he was getting a handjob?
posted by biffa at 2:58 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
If it's brown, lie down.
If it's black, fight back.
If it's white, say goodnight.
posted by zardoz at 3:18 AM on June 13 [21 favorites]
If it's black, fight back.
If it's white, say goodnight.
posted by zardoz at 3:18 AM on June 13 [21 favorites]
If it’s koala, offer it challah.
posted by dr_dank at 3:46 AM on June 13 [36 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 3:46 AM on June 13 [36 favorites]
My primary method of keeping myself safe from bears is to not be in the same woods as them!
Exactly! Listen, I treat the woods like the ocean, whatever happens within its briny or piney depths is none of my business.
posted by Kitteh at 3:53 AM on June 13 [15 favorites]
Exactly! Listen, I treat the woods like the ocean, whatever happens within its briny or piney depths is none of my business.
posted by Kitteh at 3:53 AM on June 13 [15 favorites]
If it's pooh, recognize that this probably means that you're also a fictional character and that everything you do and everything about you is driven by your author's statements without any possible capacity for disobedience and accordingly accept that you will do as you must or rage against your author if your author has commanded that instead it is of no consequence because you are not real
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 3:53 AM on June 13 [10 favorites]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 3:53 AM on June 13 [10 favorites]
Black bears are sweet. They kill a half-person per year. If you round down that's zero people per year.
Dogs, on the other hand, polish off 43 people a year in the US.
posted by rongorongo at 4:09 AM on June 13 [10 favorites]
Dogs, on the other hand, polish off 43 people a year in the US.
posted by rongorongo at 4:09 AM on June 13 [10 favorites]
I was walking past the gas station in my neighborhood Monday night and a black bear popped out from behind some tall grass in the adjacent empty lot, maybe ten yards away. I quickly crossed the street and warned a nearby dog walker "bear!"
The bear also crossed the street, but I picked up the pace and went home by a different route. Not my first bear encounter, but my closest so far. I wished I had been wearing real footwear and not floppy sandals.
We didn't get to see the all-day spectacle a couple of years ago around the corner at my mother in law's house when two bears were fucking all afternoon in the front, back, and side yards, but my sister in law was kind enough to send pictures.
posted by rikschell at 4:34 AM on June 13 [18 favorites]
The bear also crossed the street, but I picked up the pace and went home by a different route. Not my first bear encounter, but my closest so far. I wished I had been wearing real footwear and not floppy sandals.
We didn't get to see the all-day spectacle a couple of years ago around the corner at my mother in law's house when two bears were fucking all afternoon in the front, back, and side yards, but my sister in law was kind enough to send pictures.
posted by rikschell at 4:34 AM on June 13 [18 favorites]
TIL- ursus arctos is Latin/Greek for 'bear bear'.
And while I'm on taxonomy, I recall decades ago reading a Yogi Bear comic book, where a professor comes up to Yogi and pronounces him 'ursus americanus'. It surprised me at the time that Yogi was a black bear.
posted by MtDewd at 4:48 AM on June 13 [4 favorites]
And while I'm on taxonomy, I recall decades ago reading a Yogi Bear comic book, where a professor comes up to Yogi and pronounces him 'ursus americanus'. It surprised me at the time that Yogi was a black bear.
posted by MtDewd at 4:48 AM on June 13 [4 favorites]
Dogs, on the other hand, polish off 43 people a year in the US.
This is a good reminder about risk assessment.
And also, there are fewer than half a million black bears in the United States, but over ninety million dogs, and we keep many of the dogs in our homes.
posted by Songdog at 5:15 AM on June 13 [12 favorites]
This is a good reminder about risk assessment.
And also, there are fewer than half a million black bears in the United States, but over ninety million dogs, and we keep many of the dogs in our homes.
posted by Songdog at 5:15 AM on June 13 [12 favorites]
Dogs, on the other hand, polish off 43 people a year in the US.
Also 21,146 homicides, and a concerning amount of those from police
So, really Black Bears could team up with the Sharks and Gators and Orcas, and still not rate to like, one city police department
posted by eustatic at 5:37 AM on June 13 [28 favorites]
Also 21,146 homicides, and a concerning amount of those from police
So, really Black Bears could team up with the Sharks and Gators and Orcas, and still not rate to like, one city police department
posted by eustatic at 5:37 AM on June 13 [28 favorites]
Here's one of my load-bearing posts.....
We all see what you did there
posted by chavenet at 5:46 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
We all see what you did there
posted by chavenet at 5:46 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
Re: silent stalking
As a very young child (3? 4?) we were visiting friends in northern Michigan. While playing with my brothers outside, I got a bit disoriented and couldn’t remember the way back to the cabin. “Turn right at the corner” they had told me, so off down the road I went, turning right at every intersection.
I was alone in the woods for hours.
I distinctly recall seeing a bear. It was off to the right in a swampy area. I kept walking. I had this feeling something was following me. I knew it was the bear. I didn’t look back, I just kept walking and kept turning right.
Meanwhile my parents were freaked out and had called the local sheriff (he was helpful, he told my mom “last time this happened some hunters found the kid’s body in the spring” - yeah, nice bedside manner there). They had search parties out, my dad was out looking in our van. They found my tracks, little bare feet in the dirt road. Over the top of my little barefoot tracks were bear foot tracks. He didn’t tell my mom but a family friend saw the tracks. She had to step to the side and quietly throw up to avoid letting my mom see.
(Look I don’t want to spoil the story but the bear did not eat me. In case you are worried.)
I kept walking, SURE the bear was behind me, afraid to look. As I walked down one big hill I heard a low growling noise behind me. I finally turned around, and saw my parent’s van coming over the crest of the hill. No bear. I was starting to think I had imagined the bear.
When I was 16 our family friend confirmed that there had indeed been a bear and she told me the parts of the story I had not heard before. This was more than a decade after the events happened, but I had a flippin’ panic attack because there really was a bear and the bear quite likely was stalking me to eat me.
To this day my wife is sure I attract bears. I keep reminding her that I also have 50 years experience of not getting eaten by them. (I also have a very important life rule: when in doubt, turn right. Hasn’t failed me yet.)
posted by caution live frogs at 5:57 AM on June 13 [47 favorites]
As a very young child (3? 4?) we were visiting friends in northern Michigan. While playing with my brothers outside, I got a bit disoriented and couldn’t remember the way back to the cabin. “Turn right at the corner” they had told me, so off down the road I went, turning right at every intersection.
I was alone in the woods for hours.
I distinctly recall seeing a bear. It was off to the right in a swampy area. I kept walking. I had this feeling something was following me. I knew it was the bear. I didn’t look back, I just kept walking and kept turning right.
Meanwhile my parents were freaked out and had called the local sheriff (he was helpful, he told my mom “last time this happened some hunters found the kid’s body in the spring” - yeah, nice bedside manner there). They had search parties out, my dad was out looking in our van. They found my tracks, little bare feet in the dirt road. Over the top of my little barefoot tracks were bear foot tracks. He didn’t tell my mom but a family friend saw the tracks. She had to step to the side and quietly throw up to avoid letting my mom see.
(Look I don’t want to spoil the story but the bear did not eat me. In case you are worried.)
I kept walking, SURE the bear was behind me, afraid to look. As I walked down one big hill I heard a low growling noise behind me. I finally turned around, and saw my parent’s van coming over the crest of the hill. No bear. I was starting to think I had imagined the bear.
When I was 16 our family friend confirmed that there had indeed been a bear and she told me the parts of the story I had not heard before. This was more than a decade after the events happened, but I had a flippin’ panic attack because there really was a bear and the bear quite likely was stalking me to eat me.
To this day my wife is sure I attract bears. I keep reminding her that I also have 50 years experience of not getting eaten by them. (I also have a very important life rule: when in doubt, turn right. Hasn’t failed me yet.)
posted by caution live frogs at 5:57 AM on June 13 [47 favorites]
Take me home, oh muddah, faddah
Take me home, I hate Granada
Don't leave me, out in the forest where
I might, get eaten by a bear
(had to get that out of my head)
posted by MtDewd at 6:06 AM on June 13 [4 favorites]
Take me home, I hate Granada
Don't leave me, out in the forest where
I might, get eaten by a bear
(had to get that out of my head)
posted by MtDewd at 6:06 AM on June 13 [4 favorites]
But how many will be saved because the bear thought he was getting a handjob?
You guys are using your hands?!
(Also more than one comment in this thread talking about giving bears handies..is Metafilter doing OK?)
posted by Literaryhero at 6:11 AM on June 13 [8 favorites]
You guys are using your hands?!
(Also more than one comment in this thread talking about giving bears handies..is Metafilter doing OK?)
posted by Literaryhero at 6:11 AM on June 13 [8 favorites]
Today marks my 20,664th day without being eaten by a black be
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 6:18 AM on June 13 [10 favorites]
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 6:18 AM on June 13 [10 favorites]
Today marks my 20,664th day without being eaten by a black be
Oh, gee
It's up to my knee
posted by thecaddy at 6:25 AM on June 13 [8 favorites]
Oh, gee
It's up to my knee
posted by thecaddy at 6:25 AM on June 13 [8 favorites]
So last year my friends and I are backpacking in Harriman State Park in NY (the only backpackable park that I know of which is 100% accessible via train, super awesome) and we're hunting for water as it turns out all of the streams we've passed are dry. I have a good supply plus reserves because I replenished at the very first stream we hit, but my friends are running low and starting to freak out that 1) they're going to die of thirst and 2) I might not have enough water to make pancakes in the morning, not necessarily in that order.
Anyhow, we see on the map that there's a potential stream about a quarter mile away, so we start hiking down to find it. We get to the stream: it is dry. We then turn back and start heading to camp. At one point I look up and there, maybe 50 meters up the trail, is a black bear with its back to us. "Bear!" I shout. "Bear, bear!" The bear stops and turns around to look at us, then ambles off into the brush. We stand there for maybe 2 minutes, waiting for our ursine friend to get some distance on us. What is noteworthy to me is that I don't feel any panic or adrenaline - in fact I feel nothing at all. The bear encounter was just A Thing That Happened. One of my friends, on the other hand, had immediately turned and started walking away when he became aware of the bear. Thankfully the bear was not in a lesson-teaching mood. Nobody thought to get their camera out because, well, bear.
When we got back to camp we looked in the visitor log (it was a shelter along the Appalachian Trail) and one of the entries was all "this place is LOUSY WITH BEARS." That was, however, the only bear we saw. Nobody got eaten.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:53 AM on June 13 [7 favorites]
Anyhow, we see on the map that there's a potential stream about a quarter mile away, so we start hiking down to find it. We get to the stream: it is dry. We then turn back and start heading to camp. At one point I look up and there, maybe 50 meters up the trail, is a black bear with its back to us. "Bear!" I shout. "Bear, bear!" The bear stops and turns around to look at us, then ambles off into the brush. We stand there for maybe 2 minutes, waiting for our ursine friend to get some distance on us. What is noteworthy to me is that I don't feel any panic or adrenaline - in fact I feel nothing at all. The bear encounter was just A Thing That Happened. One of my friends, on the other hand, had immediately turned and started walking away when he became aware of the bear. Thankfully the bear was not in a lesson-teaching mood. Nobody thought to get their camera out because, well, bear.
When we got back to camp we looked in the visitor log (it was a shelter along the Appalachian Trail) and one of the entries was all "this place is LOUSY WITH BEARS." That was, however, the only bear we saw. Nobody got eaten.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:53 AM on June 13 [7 favorites]
Such is the state of my current work environment that I'm not necessarily put off by the idea of death by bear. I'm not actively courting death, but if it should happen to come along in the form of a hungry bear, well, it beats coming back to the office.
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:56 AM on June 13 [9 favorites]
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:56 AM on June 13 [9 favorites]
> I once had a friend--a 5' tall woman who'd worked as a park ranger--chase a black bear down a trail because it had grabbed someone's backpack
I was doing trail work recently and someone on the crew had brought fried chicken for lunch and left the wrappers in his backpack, which a black bear was VERY interested in. The rest of us stood around and took photos and laughed while the poor guy tried to save his new bag by shouting at the bear. (The backpack was okay -- it just got a lot of drool on it.)
I know if I had been alone it would have been a much scarier experience, but as it was it felt like we were being menaced by Yogi.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:57 AM on June 13 [5 favorites]
I was doing trail work recently and someone on the crew had brought fried chicken for lunch and left the wrappers in his backpack, which a black bear was VERY interested in. The rest of us stood around and took photos and laughed while the poor guy tried to save his new bag by shouting at the bear. (The backpack was okay -- it just got a lot of drool on it.)
I know if I had been alone it would have been a much scarier experience, but as it was it felt like we were being menaced by Yogi.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:57 AM on June 13 [5 favorites]
I am informed, by a purportedly reliable source, that that my usual advice on this is unsound:
If you come across a bear, never push a slower friend down . . . even if you feel the friendship has run its course. - National Park Service 2:37 PM · Feb 28, 2023 (10.4M Views)posted by The Bellman at 6:57 AM on June 13 [9 favorites]
If its panda, you'll live man. Duh.
posted by jcworth at 6:59 AM on June 13 [4 favorites]
posted by jcworth at 6:59 AM on June 13 [4 favorites]
You guys are using your hands?!
If its brown, kneel down?
posted by biffa at 7:08 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
If its brown, kneel down?
posted by biffa at 7:08 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
Here's one of my load-bearing posts.....
posted by slkinsey at 7:46 AM on June 13 [11 favorites]
We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advance warning to any bears that might be close so you don't take them by surprise.This is good advice. You know how many Morris dancers have been mauled to death by bears? None!
posted by slkinsey at 7:46 AM on June 13 [11 favorites]
I'm thinking that the "eaten" in the TFA's title explains the gender imbalance. I've been around black bears enough that I'm much more fearful of a mother bear with a couple cubs than a solitary bear. A solitary bear may be male or female and may or may not be hungry, but a momma bear is ALWAYS ready to f*ck you up.
posted by achrise at 7:48 AM on June 13
posted by achrise at 7:48 AM on June 13
We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advance warning to any bears that might be close so you don't take them by surprise.
That's how you can tell the difference between black bear scat and grizzly bear scat. Grizzly scat has little bells in it.
posted by Snowflake at 7:53 AM on June 13 [8 favorites]
That's how you can tell the difference between black bear scat and grizzly bear scat. Grizzly scat has little bells in it.
posted by Snowflake at 7:53 AM on June 13 [8 favorites]
About 2 weeks ago I went to Dollywood with friends and we rented an airbnb near Pigeon Forge. A big appeal of the place was the hot tub, which was one the corner of the L shaped deck (you kind of entered through the back of the house). As I relaxed in the hot tub, looking out over the hillside and waiting for my friends to come out to join me, I became aware of a presence and turned around to find a black bear about 2 ft behind me. I froze in absolute fear as the bear checked out the place, sniffed my arm and then ambled over to the glass door to the house. My friends had become aware of the situation and were watching through the door. As the bear tried to open the door with their mouth and my friends finally had the good sense to lock to door. Not feeling in a mood to try very hard, the bear ambled back toward me and the hot tub, luckily decided it was not the moment for a dip or human soup and then headed back off the deck.
The most remarkable part was that I didn’t even pee in the hot tub!
posted by raccoon409 at 7:56 AM on June 13 [32 favorites]
The most remarkable part was that I didn’t even pee in the hot tub!
posted by raccoon409 at 7:56 AM on June 13 [32 favorites]
I try to think of bears as shark species. Black bears are like most largish shark species—they may cause trouble, especially if they’re young or you are in the wrong place at the wrong time. But they can also often be intimidated or surprised out of their plans, sometimes even by aggressive orange cats. Brown and grizzly bears, on the other hand, are like bull sharks, and you had better have your affairs in order. But at least with bears we share some senses and understanding of the environment, so we have a slightly better chance of perceiving their behavior and adapting our own.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:08 AM on June 13 [5 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 8:08 AM on June 13 [5 favorites]
When I was five years old I went camping with my family. As was not entirely uncommon for children that age in the mid-1980s I had glow-in-the-dark pajamas of which I was (justifiably, I think) quite proud. Just as bedtime was approaching a ranger drove through the campground announcing that a black bear had been sighted in the area, which I found alarming (I was a nervous child generally).
As my father prepared to walk me across the campground to the bathroom he took a moment to shine his flashlight on my pajamas. I asked him why.
"So you'll glow more," he replied, "and the bear will see you and not me."
My father was the sort of man who would make his life significantly more difficult for a chuckle.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 8:11 AM on June 13 [16 favorites]
As my father prepared to walk me across the campground to the bathroom he took a moment to shine his flashlight on my pajamas. I asked him why.
"So you'll glow more," he replied, "and the bear will see you and not me."
My father was the sort of man who would make his life significantly more difficult for a chuckle.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 8:11 AM on June 13 [16 favorites]
I'm thinking that the "eaten" in the TFA's title explains the gender imbalance.
That's just in the title, where they seem to mean it colloquially. The stats seem to be based on deaths by bears, not how much of the body was consumed after death.
posted by mark k at 8:12 AM on June 13
That's just in the title, where they seem to mean it colloquially. The stats seem to be based on deaths by bears, not how much of the body was consumed after death.
posted by mark k at 8:12 AM on June 13
My primary method of keeping myself safe from bears is to not be in the same woods as them!
That must be a scheduling and logistics nightmare!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:17 AM on June 13 [4 favorites]
That must be a scheduling and logistics nightmare!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:17 AM on June 13 [4 favorites]
I'm thinking that the "eaten" in the TFA's title explains the gender imbalance. I've been around black bears enough that I'm much more fearful of a mother bear with a couple cubs than a solitary bear.
It's not about being eaten, it's a study of fatal attacks which did in fact show that males are responsible for more fatal attacks than females, despite the common perception. Females with cubs might be more defensive or act aggressively for defensive purposes, but males are more likely to kill you.
This makes a lot of sense. If a bear is defending her cubs, she's going to make it very clear to you that she's doing that, but probably isn't going to kill you unless she feels you are trying to kill her cubs. This makes the danger clear to humans so we think females with cubs are the most dangerous as many people have had encounters. However if a bear is hunting you, you probably won't know it until it is too late. So the perception of danger is based on encounters, but encounters are not a good proxy for being killed by a bear. So we observe more of what we perceive as danger from female bears, but male bears are actually more dangerous.
posted by ssg at 8:45 AM on June 13 [9 favorites]
It's not about being eaten, it's a study of fatal attacks which did in fact show that males are responsible for more fatal attacks than females, despite the common perception. Females with cubs might be more defensive or act aggressively for defensive purposes, but males are more likely to kill you.
This makes a lot of sense. If a bear is defending her cubs, she's going to make it very clear to you that she's doing that, but probably isn't going to kill you unless she feels you are trying to kill her cubs. This makes the danger clear to humans so we think females with cubs are the most dangerous as many people have had encounters. However if a bear is hunting you, you probably won't know it until it is too late. So the perception of danger is based on encounters, but encounters are not a good proxy for being killed by a bear. So we observe more of what we perceive as danger from female bears, but male bears are actually more dangerous.
posted by ssg at 8:45 AM on June 13 [9 favorites]
I know a woman who was mauled by a bear - it's rare enough that there were news stories about it, and if the mauling wasn't enough, the medical care afterwards was a nightmare.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:54 AM on June 13 [2 favorites]
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:54 AM on June 13 [2 favorites]
Black bears are sweet. They kill a half-person per year. If
except what if it is you?
I have a good friend (call him Pete) who used to do field work for various geological concerns. He had two harrowing encounters with black bears. In the first, he was working in a swampy muskeg area (northern Canada) with only one tree in the vicinity when the bear showed up. Pete climbed it and spent the next few hours basically fighting the bear off with a stick (jabbing it in the nose when it got too close). But the bear was relentless (ravenous?). It would wander off for a while, then come back, hungry for more. Finally, Pete used one of these wanders to go back to the ground where he'd dumped his backpack in a panic. The bear had ravaged it but the "bear banger" inside was still intact. The next time the bear returned, Pete used the banger and it worked. The bear fled in one direction. Pete eased off in the other. End of adventure.
The second incident involved quite different geography. Side of a mountain, very thick bush. Pete was flagging a survey line straight up the incline (like navigating through a hedge as he described it). He heard an odd sound which he thought had come from his radio (a walky-talky). He yanked back some thick branches and suddenly, there was a bear. Directly in front of him, maybe five feet away. The bear took a swipe at him. Its claws tore the front of Pete's jacket but didn't puncture his skin. Pete immediately threw himself backwards down the hill he'd been climbing, and rolled painfully to the bottom ... and saw no more of the bear.
That evening, back at camp, safe, Pete suddenly got hit by a panic attack so severe they finally had to helicopter him out. That was the end of his days working in the bush.
Moral of the story. Bear bangers work. And if you do stumble upon onto a bear in the wild, hope it's as surprised as you are as opposed to lurking, waiting, hungry.
posted by philip-random at 9:19 AM on June 13 [6 favorites]
except what if it is you?
I have a good friend (call him Pete) who used to do field work for various geological concerns. He had two harrowing encounters with black bears. In the first, he was working in a swampy muskeg area (northern Canada) with only one tree in the vicinity when the bear showed up. Pete climbed it and spent the next few hours basically fighting the bear off with a stick (jabbing it in the nose when it got too close). But the bear was relentless (ravenous?). It would wander off for a while, then come back, hungry for more. Finally, Pete used one of these wanders to go back to the ground where he'd dumped his backpack in a panic. The bear had ravaged it but the "bear banger" inside was still intact. The next time the bear returned, Pete used the banger and it worked. The bear fled in one direction. Pete eased off in the other. End of adventure.
The second incident involved quite different geography. Side of a mountain, very thick bush. Pete was flagging a survey line straight up the incline (like navigating through a hedge as he described it). He heard an odd sound which he thought had come from his radio (a walky-talky). He yanked back some thick branches and suddenly, there was a bear. Directly in front of him, maybe five feet away. The bear took a swipe at him. Its claws tore the front of Pete's jacket but didn't puncture his skin. Pete immediately threw himself backwards down the hill he'd been climbing, and rolled painfully to the bottom ... and saw no more of the bear.
That evening, back at camp, safe, Pete suddenly got hit by a panic attack so severe they finally had to helicopter him out. That was the end of his days working in the bush.
Moral of the story. Bear bangers work. And if you do stumble upon onto a bear in the wild, hope it's as surprised as you are as opposed to lurking, waiting, hungry.
posted by philip-random at 9:19 AM on June 13 [6 favorites]
Moral of the story. Bear bangers work.
Until they don’t, which, in my experience, is usually around the third or fourth time a persistent bear gets treated to a bear banger. So, I’d revise that moral to: bear bangers work if you can get out of the area, preferably by vehicle, right away or very soon thereafter.
It’s pretty much the same when it comes to pepper spray. It works, but you should get out of the area as quick as possible as, back in my backwoods days, I heard a bunch of stories about bears returning to stalk their pepper sprayers.
About the only bear defence I’ve never seen or heard of failing is dogs. Mind you, I think three or more dogs are needed. If it’s only one or two dogs and they go chasing a bear, if it turns on them, they’re going to bring the bear back to you. Three or more dogs, however, can quickly tree a bear. Especially, if at least one of them is mid-sized, fast, and barks a lot. Bears nope out of that kind of harassment pretty quickly.
posted by house-goblin at 10:07 AM on June 13 [5 favorites]
Until they don’t, which, in my experience, is usually around the third or fourth time a persistent bear gets treated to a bear banger. So, I’d revise that moral to: bear bangers work if you can get out of the area, preferably by vehicle, right away or very soon thereafter.
It’s pretty much the same when it comes to pepper spray. It works, but you should get out of the area as quick as possible as, back in my backwoods days, I heard a bunch of stories about bears returning to stalk their pepper sprayers.
About the only bear defence I’ve never seen or heard of failing is dogs. Mind you, I think three or more dogs are needed. If it’s only one or two dogs and they go chasing a bear, if it turns on them, they’re going to bring the bear back to you. Three or more dogs, however, can quickly tree a bear. Especially, if at least one of them is mid-sized, fast, and barks a lot. Bears nope out of that kind of harassment pretty quickly.
posted by house-goblin at 10:07 AM on June 13 [5 favorites]
Also, much as I appreciate the “if it’s black, fight back” jingle it's very wrong if you got between a sow and her cub, very likely wrong if you surprised a bear and it charged and knocked you down, and a really bad idea if a bear comes at you because you went down to the stream to see the salmon run and invaded the bear’s fishing spot, or you traipsed across a fresh bear kill and the bear thinks you’re about steal its next meal…
Really, far as I know, the rule is if it’s a predatory attack, fight back. The trick is figuring out that the bear is after a meal and not just making sure you’re not a threat.
posted by house-goblin at 10:26 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
Really, far as I know, the rule is if it’s a predatory attack, fight back. The trick is figuring out that the bear is after a meal and not just making sure you’re not a threat.
posted by house-goblin at 10:26 AM on June 13 [3 favorites]
Nobody got eaten.
posted by grumpybear69
Uh-huh. Sure. Eponybearical.
posted by cooker girl at 10:56 AM on June 13 [22 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69
Uh-huh. Sure. Eponybearical.
posted by cooker girl at 10:56 AM on June 13 [22 favorites]
What is noteworthy to me is that I don't feel any panic or adrenaline - in fact I feel nothing at all. The bear encounter was just A Thing That Happened.
I felt similar in my only encounter with a bear. I told some other campers that a bear was nearby and was going to call the park staff when I got back to my campsite but then they drove up and chased it away. There wasn't any fear, or even excitement. My biggest emotion was probably annoyance at the other campers for not putting their food away and attracting the bear in the first place.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:37 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
I felt similar in my only encounter with a bear. I told some other campers that a bear was nearby and was going to call the park staff when I got back to my campsite but then they drove up and chased it away. There wasn't any fear, or even excitement. My biggest emotion was probably annoyance at the other campers for not putting their food away and attracting the bear in the first place.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:37 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
females seldom attack humans except when provoked by people or dogs
The fun thing about dogs is when people let them off leash, they run off and find a bear, get it right pissed and then run back to their owner for safety. Hilarity (does not) ensue(s).
posted by klanawa at 12:37 PM on June 13 [5 favorites]
The fun thing about dogs is when people let them off leash, they run off and find a bear, get it right pissed and then run back to their owner for safety. Hilarity (does not) ensue(s).
posted by klanawa at 12:37 PM on June 13 [5 favorites]
The fun thing about dogs is when people let them off leash, they run off and find a bear, get it right pissed and then run back to their owner for safety. Hilarity (does not) ensue(s).
I've read about dogs doing this with mountain lions, too.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 12:41 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
I've read about dogs doing this with mountain lions, too.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 12:41 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
This article feels like fear mongering. If you follow bear safety guidelines, which mainly amount to "don't feed the bears," Black bears are not a significant threat when out hiking and camping. You should worry way more about falls and drowning and getting lost, because those things are easy more of a threat.
I'll bet more people get run over by cars while out backpacking than get eaten by bears. (I'm currently hiking the PNT. The car danger is real!)
The article, and some comments above, mentions one thing that doesn't always get emphasized, which is odor control. Keep your food and trash in a smell proof bag(opsak, turkey bag, mylar bag) and try not to cook where you camp. This is *in addition* to doing whatever the local agency recommends (bear box, bear hang, bear resistant container). I suspect they don't always emphasize it because they know people would only use an opsak, and then they'd leave it open on a picnic table or something, and also because it's not 100 effective. Bears are very good at smelling things. But in a way, it's a matter of not needing to be faster than the bear. If your food is sealed up and there's a camp full of fishermen a quarter mile over having a fish fry, guess where the bear is going.
Or, wait. Is... Is this Smithsonianmag weighing in on man or bear?
posted by surlyben at 12:58 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
I'll bet more people get run over by cars while out backpacking than get eaten by bears. (I'm currently hiking the PNT. The car danger is real!)
The article, and some comments above, mentions one thing that doesn't always get emphasized, which is odor control. Keep your food and trash in a smell proof bag(opsak, turkey bag, mylar bag) and try not to cook where you camp. This is *in addition* to doing whatever the local agency recommends (bear box, bear hang, bear resistant container). I suspect they don't always emphasize it because they know people would only use an opsak, and then they'd leave it open on a picnic table or something, and also because it's not 100 effective. Bears are very good at smelling things. But in a way, it's a matter of not needing to be faster than the bear. If your food is sealed up and there's a camp full of fishermen a quarter mile over having a fish fry, guess where the bear is going.
Or, wait. Is... Is this Smithsonianmag weighing in on man or bear?
posted by surlyben at 12:58 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
Not mentioned in the article, but also worth noting if you'd like to avoid becoming a bear snack: don't taunt Elisha about his receding hairline.
posted by lord_wolf at 1:07 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]
posted by lord_wolf at 1:07 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]
I live in black bear territory. I mean, I also live right downtown, less than two blocks from City Hall and/or the local courthouse, in one of the larger cities in my state, but that doesn't mean a whole lot when the state is Alaska. Anyway, I have bears in my life - fairly frequently. They like to come down into town via the boardwalk and stair street I live on - it's a convenient thoroughfare for them (and me) to browse for berries and get down to the salmon-bearing creek at the bottom of the hill.
You have all reminded me that I ought to go out and pull the memory card off the game camera I have mounted on one of the pillars of the downstairs porch, aimed at the end of the boardwalk street on which my house is located, to see what kind of wildlife traffic we are getting lately. In past summers I've averaged 5-8 visits per week during the summer but so far this summer the traffic has been lower - I'm not sure whether that's because the bears have changed their route down into town or whether it's more because a combination of cold and rainy spring and better neighbors means less food available in the neighborhood so far (berries are not well developed yet and we have finally, after years of nagging, managed to convince the neighbors down at street level to better secure their trash cans).
Though I have previously posted it, here's an approximately 40 second video of some clips from my front porch game cam taken during a previous summer. If I find any good new footage when I pull the card I'll share that as well.
posted by Nerd of the North at 1:08 PM on June 13 [15 favorites]
You have all reminded me that I ought to go out and pull the memory card off the game camera I have mounted on one of the pillars of the downstairs porch, aimed at the end of the boardwalk street on which my house is located, to see what kind of wildlife traffic we are getting lately. In past summers I've averaged 5-8 visits per week during the summer but so far this summer the traffic has been lower - I'm not sure whether that's because the bears have changed their route down into town or whether it's more because a combination of cold and rainy spring and better neighbors means less food available in the neighborhood so far (berries are not well developed yet and we have finally, after years of nagging, managed to convince the neighbors down at street level to better secure their trash cans).
Though I have previously posted it, here's an approximately 40 second video of some clips from my front porch game cam taken during a previous summer. If I find any good new footage when I pull the card I'll share that as well.
posted by Nerd of the North at 1:08 PM on June 13 [15 favorites]
Do bears prefer Mountain House or Peak Refuel?
posted by grumpybear69 at 1:14 PM on June 13 [1 favorite]
posted by grumpybear69 at 1:14 PM on June 13 [1 favorite]
So as an avid backpacker in the Appalachians - mostly in the Smokies, North Carolina, Georgia, Virginia, West Virginia - I have had plenty of interaction with black bears, including inadvertently stumbling between a mom and cubs (very scary experience) and warding bears away when they're exploring campsites. But nothing comes close to the time when we (party of seven) arrived at a camp in the Smokies only to learn that, since we'd filed our plan and began hiking four days before, this site had been closed by naturalists because of repetitive, dangerous interactions with bears. Remarkably, the person who told us this was a young woman camped on the outskirts of this site, who happened to be a bear biologist hired to research their behavior and sent to this site due to its recent record of intense bear activity. She also kindly told us not to bother using the existing bear poles to raise our packs as her observations had noted the bears had figured out how to claw the ropes through to drop the packs. When we asked her what she'd recommend as man option, she simply looked at us and said, "That's what I'm here to find out."
So we huddled up, looked at the wooden bridge spanning the small river we'd just strolled across and decided to tie off our packs underneath the bridge - and set about rigging lines around the planks and, one by one, suspending each pack underneath. We started a fire, prepped some dinner and ate as it got dark. Soon we heard noise on the bridge and there they were, three bears sniffing the planks and scratching at the lines we'd run triple thick holding each pack. Our presence and flashlights seemed not to bother them and we soon realized it would likely not take long for bear claws to strip the lines and drop our packs into the river where, we were sure, the bears would then. have a field day, er uh, night. So banging pans and screaming and smacking the bridge rails with sticks we successfully forced their retreat and they soon disappeared on the other side. We set to work disassembling all our rigged lines and retrieving our packs all under the watchful eyes of our resident observer, the researcher/bear biologist as she casually scribbled notes of her observations on both hikers and bears behaviors.
We brought our packs back into camp and decided the only thing to do was build an enormous fire, put our packs around it and have at least 4 of us stay up in shifts throughout the night to both keep the fire raging and keep watch for bears. This was going to be a long night, but hopefully we'd avoid direct interaction with these wily bears. Within an hour our flashlights scanning the surrounding woods found multiple bears watching us from the dense understory. Previous encounters told us they were very unlikely to purposefully approach humans, though most of us had on previous occasions had to chase a solitary bear off when we heard them around camp and inspecting the bear poles or the fire pit. But having been told they'd now shut down this camp because of concerns of direct interactions and aggressive behavior, this was indeed a frightening predicament - and one for whom our new friend the biologist had no intension of helpful suggestions. So we sat, by turns, past midnight, past three a.m., stoking the fire and watching the perimeter where, in our light beams, we repeatedly saw bear eyeshine. Then, at around 4:30 am, all hell broke loose. At some point, unable to remain awake the entire night, we'd done the unthinkable and all fallen asleep - and sensing, or watching, our slouching postures and lack of sound, at least one bear had quietly approached, smelled food in my pack lying literally right against my side and quickly snatched it, dragging it noisily toward the bridge. In an instant I rose, adrenaline coursing through every cell, recognized what was happening and began screaming and chasing the bear. Now my friends were all on their feet also yelling, some banging pots or pans we'd had by the fire. When I got near the bridge my light caught the pack, lying on the side of the trail and thankfully no bear. Buds caught up with me and we all stayed put from a distance, watching the bridge and surrounding brush for 1-15 minutes before I crept slowly forward to retrieve my pack and scramble back to camp. At that point, amid much excited conversation, the fire was re-stoked, much coffee was made and consumed, and the bear biologist, having excitedly awoken and watching it all from her distance, was told to kindly fuck off. Camp was broken by fire and later light, and by dawn we were on the trail the hell outta there. 30 years later, I still have that pack hanging in my basement, it's entire upper chamber slashed open in strips by that bear's sharp claws as it drug it away from camp, ripstop my ass.
posted by thecincinnatikid at 1:42 PM on June 13 [16 favorites]
So we huddled up, looked at the wooden bridge spanning the small river we'd just strolled across and decided to tie off our packs underneath the bridge - and set about rigging lines around the planks and, one by one, suspending each pack underneath. We started a fire, prepped some dinner and ate as it got dark. Soon we heard noise on the bridge and there they were, three bears sniffing the planks and scratching at the lines we'd run triple thick holding each pack. Our presence and flashlights seemed not to bother them and we soon realized it would likely not take long for bear claws to strip the lines and drop our packs into the river where, we were sure, the bears would then. have a field day, er uh, night. So banging pans and screaming and smacking the bridge rails with sticks we successfully forced their retreat and they soon disappeared on the other side. We set to work disassembling all our rigged lines and retrieving our packs all under the watchful eyes of our resident observer, the researcher/bear biologist as she casually scribbled notes of her observations on both hikers and bears behaviors.
We brought our packs back into camp and decided the only thing to do was build an enormous fire, put our packs around it and have at least 4 of us stay up in shifts throughout the night to both keep the fire raging and keep watch for bears. This was going to be a long night, but hopefully we'd avoid direct interaction with these wily bears. Within an hour our flashlights scanning the surrounding woods found multiple bears watching us from the dense understory. Previous encounters told us they were very unlikely to purposefully approach humans, though most of us had on previous occasions had to chase a solitary bear off when we heard them around camp and inspecting the bear poles or the fire pit. But having been told they'd now shut down this camp because of concerns of direct interactions and aggressive behavior, this was indeed a frightening predicament - and one for whom our new friend the biologist had no intension of helpful suggestions. So we sat, by turns, past midnight, past three a.m., stoking the fire and watching the perimeter where, in our light beams, we repeatedly saw bear eyeshine. Then, at around 4:30 am, all hell broke loose. At some point, unable to remain awake the entire night, we'd done the unthinkable and all fallen asleep - and sensing, or watching, our slouching postures and lack of sound, at least one bear had quietly approached, smelled food in my pack lying literally right against my side and quickly snatched it, dragging it noisily toward the bridge. In an instant I rose, adrenaline coursing through every cell, recognized what was happening and began screaming and chasing the bear. Now my friends were all on their feet also yelling, some banging pots or pans we'd had by the fire. When I got near the bridge my light caught the pack, lying on the side of the trail and thankfully no bear. Buds caught up with me and we all stayed put from a distance, watching the bridge and surrounding brush for 1-15 minutes before I crept slowly forward to retrieve my pack and scramble back to camp. At that point, amid much excited conversation, the fire was re-stoked, much coffee was made and consumed, and the bear biologist, having excitedly awoken and watching it all from her distance, was told to kindly fuck off. Camp was broken by fire and later light, and by dawn we were on the trail the hell outta there. 30 years later, I still have that pack hanging in my basement, it's entire upper chamber slashed open in strips by that bear's sharp claws as it drug it away from camp, ripstop my ass.
posted by thecincinnatikid at 1:42 PM on June 13 [16 favorites]
I mean, technically observing biologists aren't supposed to intervene, so.
posted by grumpybear69 at 2:02 PM on June 13 [7 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 2:02 PM on June 13 [7 favorites]
My favorite bear story was from when I lived (year round) in the bush of Northwest Ontario Canada in the 1970s. I was walking down a gravel road close to where I lived. A city family had bought a lot next to our house to build a summer cottage. I heard a woman's voice say "what a cute baby bear". Crap! I ran home a short distance, grabbed the shotgun kept loaded with salt and sand, and our 2 dogs. They loved chasing bears. :) By the time I got back a few minutes later, no bears.
posted by baegucb at 2:28 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
posted by baegucb at 2:28 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
ripstop my ass
The title of an unknown, recently discovered studio album from Frank Zappa
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:36 PM on June 13 [7 favorites]
The title of an unknown, recently discovered studio album from Frank Zappa
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:36 PM on June 13 [7 favorites]
In our area the schools don’t really have active shooter drills, they have “bear wandered on the playground” drills. No joke.
When we first moved here everyone was all “they’re more afraid of you than you are of them!” And I’m like a) then they must be fucking terrified of me and b) bullshit! That’s 600lbs of bear right there. One good swat and I’m done for. He ain’t scare of nuthing.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 4:03 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
When we first moved here everyone was all “they’re more afraid of you than you are of them!” And I’m like a) then they must be fucking terrified of me and b) bullshit! That’s 600lbs of bear right there. One good swat and I’m done for. He ain’t scare of nuthing.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 4:03 PM on June 13 [3 favorites]
I mean, technically observing biologists aren't supposed to intervene, so.
LOL, and we got that at first, and fully respected it - until things went beyond unexpected then challenging to downright dangerous and life threatening at which time it seemed perhaps it might be empathetic and humane to dispatch professional protocol in favor of saving lives.
I should've mentioned that some of those bears had been collared and she was tracking all their movements as part of her research, but when they shut down that campsite completely, there was no more personal observation to be had and her summer job just got way easier/less interesting. Just a wild situation on all sides, I've often wondered about her account of the final human encounter and her records of the bears' subsequent behavior sans humans that summer.
posted by thecincinnatikid at 4:05 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]
LOL, and we got that at first, and fully respected it - until things went beyond unexpected then challenging to downright dangerous and life threatening at which time it seemed perhaps it might be empathetic and humane to dispatch professional protocol in favor of saving lives.
I should've mentioned that some of those bears had been collared and she was tracking all their movements as part of her research, but when they shut down that campsite completely, there was no more personal observation to be had and her summer job just got way easier/less interesting. Just a wild situation on all sides, I've often wondered about her account of the final human encounter and her records of the bears' subsequent behavior sans humans that summer.
posted by thecincinnatikid at 4:05 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]
From my one backpacking experience involving bears, in the Adirondacks 30+ years ago, I can say that they very much prefer raspberry Newtons. The whole episode left me probably too blasé about black bears, since at one point we basically had to shoo multiple bears out of the way because they were just hogging the trail. I had my first on-foot encounter with a bear since then a few weeks ago in northern New Jersey, when one crossed the trail about a hundred feet in front of me while I was hiking with my spouse and kid. I was completely unconcerned, they were not. I'm not sure which reaction was correct. I can say that having an eastern coyote the size of a German shepherd cross the trail in front of you at the same distance while making eye contact with you is more unnerving to me.
posted by mollweide at 4:15 PM on June 13 [7 favorites]
posted by mollweide at 4:15 PM on June 13 [7 favorites]
That's how you can tell the difference between black bear scat and grizzly bear scat. Grizzly scat has little bells in it.And it smells peppery.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 4:29 PM on June 13 [4 favorites]
This article feels like fear mongering. If you follow bear safety guidelines, which mainly amount to "don't feed the bears…”
Where I come from the technical term is bearanoia. However, being a bit bearanoid is usually a good thing because it means you give the bears the respect they are due. Even if there are other things that are more likely to hurt you.
As for “safety guidelines… mainly amount to don’t feed the bears”, it doesn’t matter if you don’t feed them if others already have, or they’ve previously found a garbage source.
Also, in British Columbia at least, bears don’t live that long (5-7 years if I remember right) because their teeth tend to rot away (yes, even if they never develop a taste for human food or garbage). And when that happens they can get aggressive with people.
The article, and some comments above, mentions one thing that doesn't always get emphasized, which is odor control. Keep your food and trash in a smell proof bag(opsak, turkey bag, mylar bag)…
Yes, controlling smell is crucial, but OMFG I would never trust those bags. Far as I know, bear’s mainly “see” the world through their noses and their noses are significantly more sensitive than those of dogs.
I’m convinced a bear caught a whiff of capsicum from a friend’s bear spray canister and that’s why it bit into it (and then went berserk and made it look like a grenade went off in his tent). Similarly, one time a bear found a co-worker’s stash of beer and then drank/mangled all the cans. Seriously, the cans looked like they went through a garburator.
Also, I think there are pretty much no bad smells to bears. In my experience, to a bear any smell means “could be food, better check it out.” They’ll happily dig up and eat that shit you thoughtfully buried while traipsing through the backwoods. If they find a way, they will go down into the outhouse pit, or they’ll splash about in the gray water, hoping to find chunky bits. They will claw open and knock down a tent, because the occupants had sex the night before and there was some lingering trace of it on a sleeping bag.
Anyhow, for myself, odour control has mostly meant keeping oderous items as far away from my tent as possible.
posted by house-goblin at 5:42 PM on June 13 [4 favorites]
Where I come from the technical term is bearanoia. However, being a bit bearanoid is usually a good thing because it means you give the bears the respect they are due. Even if there are other things that are more likely to hurt you.
As for “safety guidelines… mainly amount to don’t feed the bears”, it doesn’t matter if you don’t feed them if others already have, or they’ve previously found a garbage source.
Also, in British Columbia at least, bears don’t live that long (5-7 years if I remember right) because their teeth tend to rot away (yes, even if they never develop a taste for human food or garbage). And when that happens they can get aggressive with people.
The article, and some comments above, mentions one thing that doesn't always get emphasized, which is odor control. Keep your food and trash in a smell proof bag(opsak, turkey bag, mylar bag)…
Yes, controlling smell is crucial, but OMFG I would never trust those bags. Far as I know, bear’s mainly “see” the world through their noses and their noses are significantly more sensitive than those of dogs.
I’m convinced a bear caught a whiff of capsicum from a friend’s bear spray canister and that’s why it bit into it (and then went berserk and made it look like a grenade went off in his tent). Similarly, one time a bear found a co-worker’s stash of beer and then drank/mangled all the cans. Seriously, the cans looked like they went through a garburator.
Also, I think there are pretty much no bad smells to bears. In my experience, to a bear any smell means “could be food, better check it out.” They’ll happily dig up and eat that shit you thoughtfully buried while traipsing through the backwoods. If they find a way, they will go down into the outhouse pit, or they’ll splash about in the gray water, hoping to find chunky bits. They will claw open and knock down a tent, because the occupants had sex the night before and there was some lingering trace of it on a sleeping bag.
Anyhow, for myself, odour control has mostly meant keeping oderous items as far away from my tent as possible.
posted by house-goblin at 5:42 PM on June 13 [4 favorites]
Fwiw by "mainly amount to don't feed the bears" I meant that they require you to store your food in such a way that bears can't be fed, and not that they say "don't feed 'em. Alright safety lecture over, where's my beer?"
I wouldn't completely trust odor proof bags either, but also I wouldn't go hiking without them. There's a scale that goes from hanging fish in camp and having a big smelly cookout (which I've seen in the Washington backcountry!) down to not bringing food at all, and I try to be as far on the scale away from the fish guys as I can. In black bear country, the recommendation is sometimes to store your food close enough that you can hear the bear go after your food and then you try and run them off! (Yosemite recommends 25 to 50 feet!) Keeping the odor footprint small minimizes those encounters. Plus they seem to work on rodents.
posted by surlyben at 9:41 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]
I wouldn't completely trust odor proof bags either, but also I wouldn't go hiking without them. There's a scale that goes from hanging fish in camp and having a big smelly cookout (which I've seen in the Washington backcountry!) down to not bringing food at all, and I try to be as far on the scale away from the fish guys as I can. In black bear country, the recommendation is sometimes to store your food close enough that you can hear the bear go after your food and then you try and run them off! (Yosemite recommends 25 to 50 feet!) Keeping the odor footprint small minimizes those encounters. Plus they seem to work on rodents.
posted by surlyben at 9:41 PM on June 13 [2 favorites]
In my above story about the bear/hot tub encounter I think the reason the bear ambled over is that we had just finished dinner and when I opened the door to come out, the food scents came with it.
posted by raccoon409 at 5:12 AM on June 14 [1 favorite]
posted by raccoon409 at 5:12 AM on June 14 [1 favorite]
(Also more than one comment in this thread talking about giving bears handies..is Metafilter doing OK?)
I don't remember the precise context of this but a mutual friend was making plans to visit one of my friends on Capitol Hill in Seattle in a group call, or maybe they were already there.
And so at some point she earnestly asked a question like "Wait, are there bears on Capitol Hill?"
And then there was a pause for a beat while people were stifling giggles and someone piped up "Yeah, but you? You're perfectly safe. Well, unless you're secretly an otter." and then everyone lost it.
posted by loquacious at 5:40 AM on June 14 [3 favorites]
I don't remember the precise context of this but a mutual friend was making plans to visit one of my friends on Capitol Hill in Seattle in a group call, or maybe they were already there.
And so at some point she earnestly asked a question like "Wait, are there bears on Capitol Hill?"
And then there was a pause for a beat while people were stifling giggles and someone piped up "Yeah, but you? You're perfectly safe. Well, unless you're secretly an otter." and then everyone lost it.
posted by loquacious at 5:40 AM on June 14 [3 favorites]
The last time I went camping in brown/grizzly country, I was petrified one night because I had spilled spaghetti sauce on my gloves when we were cooking. (We were a bunch of teens with a couple of counselors.) Of course I'd wiped it off, but I had heard a story of somebody whose tent got attacked because they had an empty granola bar wrapper in there with them. And we'd seen a track! Plus I was unable to Go before I slept because standing in a cold plain behind a bush while death is behind you, a towel is around your waist,* and your buddy is bored and smoking is not conducive.
Nothing happened, of course. It was actually a really nice trip. And every time I camp, I have increased awe and respect for people who traveled like this as part of their way of life.
----
* Skirts are actually best for women hikers for this reason, I think, but I didn't have one warm enough.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:31 AM on June 14 [1 favorite]
Nothing happened, of course. It was actually a really nice trip. And every time I camp, I have increased awe and respect for people who traveled like this as part of their way of life.
----
* Skirts are actually best for women hikers for this reason, I think, but I didn't have one warm enough.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:31 AM on June 14 [1 favorite]
I wouldn't completely trust odor proof bags either, but also I wouldn't go hiking without them. There's a scale that goes from hanging fish in camp and having a big smelly cookout (which I've seen in the Washington backcountry!) down to not bringing food at all, and I try to be as far on the scale away from the fish guys as I can.
Yeah, you’re giving good advice, but where you’re context is hiking in the backcountry, mine is living out of a tent in a backcountry work-camp. There’s a mess tent and a kitchen tent or trailer, crew trucks (often with lunch remnants rolling about the floors), hand-crafted outhouses, among other bear attractants. So, there’s no getting as far away as possible from the big smelly cook out. About the best you can hope for is a camp with a policy of cleaning up every night by storing garbage cans, food etc, in a trailer or similar.
Now, I’ve noticed that both the article and all of our collective posts concentrate solely on measures that, if all goes well, will prevent any sort of physically “negative interaction” with a black bear. Unfortunately, bears are unpredictable and you can follow all the recommendations and still end up on the receiving end of their claws and nasty toothy maws. Worse, they are opportunistic, so a non-predatory attack can turn predatory.
So, here’s my personal bear attack contingency plan, based on things I was taught and read about (among others, see Stephen Herrero’s Bear Attacks). Please note, however, I am in no way infallible about this stuff. Also note, if you’re sensitive about the thought of bear attacks, there’s some vivid images coming down the pipeline.
Basically, fall to the ground, and curl up so your legs cover your gut, and keep your back facing upward and clasp your hands over the back of your neck.
If possible try to do this between some fallen trees, a low spot in the ground, or anything that might help limit the bear’s ability to get at you.
You want to keep your back up because your front is way more vulnerable. You want your legs covering your belly for the same reason, but also because bears tend to go for guts. Also, try not to scream or yell as that can provoke them.
But the most important thing is to clamp your hands over the back of your neck and hold them there, literally for dear life. Those clasped hands mean the bear can’t clamp its jaws around the back of your neck. Because if it manages to do that, its next move is to shake its head and kill you.
The best case scenario here, is you’ve shown the bear you’re not a threat and it immediately leaves you alone. And if it doesn’t leave you alone right away, you’ve done the best you could to survive and minimize any injuries you may suffer before it decides to leave you alone.
Unfortunately, if it starts to feed on you by biting into your arms or something, it has turned into a predatory attack, and it’s time to fight back.
posted by house-goblin at 12:00 PM on June 14 [3 favorites]
Yeah, you’re giving good advice, but where you’re context is hiking in the backcountry, mine is living out of a tent in a backcountry work-camp. There’s a mess tent and a kitchen tent or trailer, crew trucks (often with lunch remnants rolling about the floors), hand-crafted outhouses, among other bear attractants. So, there’s no getting as far away as possible from the big smelly cook out. About the best you can hope for is a camp with a policy of cleaning up every night by storing garbage cans, food etc, in a trailer or similar.
Now, I’ve noticed that both the article and all of our collective posts concentrate solely on measures that, if all goes well, will prevent any sort of physically “negative interaction” with a black bear. Unfortunately, bears are unpredictable and you can follow all the recommendations and still end up on the receiving end of their claws and nasty toothy maws. Worse, they are opportunistic, so a non-predatory attack can turn predatory.
So, here’s my personal bear attack contingency plan, based on things I was taught and read about (among others, see Stephen Herrero’s Bear Attacks). Please note, however, I am in no way infallible about this stuff. Also note, if you’re sensitive about the thought of bear attacks, there’s some vivid images coming down the pipeline.
Basically, fall to the ground, and curl up so your legs cover your gut, and keep your back facing upward and clasp your hands over the back of your neck.
If possible try to do this between some fallen trees, a low spot in the ground, or anything that might help limit the bear’s ability to get at you.
You want to keep your back up because your front is way more vulnerable. You want your legs covering your belly for the same reason, but also because bears tend to go for guts. Also, try not to scream or yell as that can provoke them.
But the most important thing is to clamp your hands over the back of your neck and hold them there, literally for dear life. Those clasped hands mean the bear can’t clamp its jaws around the back of your neck. Because if it manages to do that, its next move is to shake its head and kill you.
The best case scenario here, is you’ve shown the bear you’re not a threat and it immediately leaves you alone. And if it doesn’t leave you alone right away, you’ve done the best you could to survive and minimize any injuries you may suffer before it decides to leave you alone.
Unfortunately, if it starts to feed on you by biting into your arms or something, it has turned into a predatory attack, and it’s time to fight back.
posted by house-goblin at 12:00 PM on June 14 [3 favorites]
I was petrified one night because I had spilled spaghetti sauce on my gloves when we were cooking. (We were a bunch of teens with a couple of counselors.) Of course I'd wiped it off, but I had heard a story of somebody whose tent got attacked because they had an empty granola bar wrapper in there…
Yup, and it’s not just the scent of food, but the scent of anything. I worked with somebody whose tent was torn open because they had their toothpaste in it. They thought it was safe because it wasn’t food.
posted by house-goblin at 12:06 PM on June 14 [2 favorites]
Yup, and it’s not just the scent of food, but the scent of anything. I worked with somebody whose tent was torn open because they had their toothpaste in it. They thought it was safe because it wasn’t food.
posted by house-goblin at 12:06 PM on June 14 [2 favorites]
Related advice: If being attacked by a taxidermist, do not play dead!
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:03 PM on June 14
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:03 PM on June 14
I worked with somebody whose tent was torn open because they had their toothpaste in it.
Could have been an Aero.
posted by biffa at 3:58 PM on June 14
Could have been an Aero.
posted by biffa at 3:58 PM on June 14
Mod note: I'm pleased to announce that this bear-loading post has been added to the sidebar and Best Of blog.
posted by taz (staff) at 12:50 AM on June 15 [4 favorites]
posted by taz (staff) at 12:50 AM on June 15 [4 favorites]
In my previous reply on this thread I promised to pull the memory card from my game camera and post new footage if there was anything worthwhile.
So far it has been a slow year - which is good in some ways. We've been working for years on getting one of the irresponsible neighbors to properly secure his garbage and it seems to be finally paying off - I haven't had to go out and do an early morning cleanup of someone else's scattered trash so far this year and we're already into June. But it has also been a cold and rainy spring here in Southeast Alaska and the berries are not very far along yet, nor have the salmon entered the creek down the hill in large numbers yet.
Which is a long way of saying that we haven't had many bear visits so far this season but just this week they seem to have started using my boardwalk again and perhaps that will pick up. Only two visits so far this week but I have started a new video for 2024 wildlife visitors on my street and will add to it as I get more clips.
One thing you might note from these clips is how quietly they move. The low background noise you can hear is from Ketchikan Creek, about a block and a half down the hill, and in the daytime clip you can hear birdsong picked up by the game camera. The bears are a lot more quiet than the birds, despite the fact that they're walking on an elevated wooden boardwalk street. You'd have to know this location or one like it to fully appreciate that but when humans approach the house via this boardwalk you can hear them coming from inside the house even with the windows and doors closed - the boardwalk reverberates with an effect not unlike a drum when most parties approach. But the bears often pass by without me noticing, even when I am awake and nearby. For such huge creatures they are spookily stealthy when they want to be.
posted by Nerd of the North at 2:45 PM on June 15 [4 favorites]
So far it has been a slow year - which is good in some ways. We've been working for years on getting one of the irresponsible neighbors to properly secure his garbage and it seems to be finally paying off - I haven't had to go out and do an early morning cleanup of someone else's scattered trash so far this year and we're already into June. But it has also been a cold and rainy spring here in Southeast Alaska and the berries are not very far along yet, nor have the salmon entered the creek down the hill in large numbers yet.
Which is a long way of saying that we haven't had many bear visits so far this season but just this week they seem to have started using my boardwalk again and perhaps that will pick up. Only two visits so far this week but I have started a new video for 2024 wildlife visitors on my street and will add to it as I get more clips.
One thing you might note from these clips is how quietly they move. The low background noise you can hear is from Ketchikan Creek, about a block and a half down the hill, and in the daytime clip you can hear birdsong picked up by the game camera. The bears are a lot more quiet than the birds, despite the fact that they're walking on an elevated wooden boardwalk street. You'd have to know this location or one like it to fully appreciate that but when humans approach the house via this boardwalk you can hear them coming from inside the house even with the windows and doors closed - the boardwalk reverberates with an effect not unlike a drum when most parties approach. But the bears often pass by without me noticing, even when I am awake and nearby. For such huge creatures they are spookily stealthy when they want to be.
posted by Nerd of the North at 2:45 PM on June 15 [4 favorites]
I worked with somebody whose tent was torn open because they had their toothpaste in it.Also, for those who haven't seen it previously, one of my most-favorited posts ever was this anecdote about my friend W's experience with a bear, an SUV, and some leftover breath mints that seems relevant to the above.
It may amuse those looking for more "living with bears" content.
posted by Nerd of the North at 2:50 PM on June 15 [1 favorite]
Apropos women's preference for encountering bears vs. men: Bear by Marian Engel takes this notion to an extreme. (I wondered why the book hadn't been mentioned, then realized it came out almost a half-century ago.)
posted by CCBC at 3:07 PM on June 15 [1 favorite]
posted by CCBC at 3:07 PM on June 15 [1 favorite]
Black bears are sweet. They kill a half-person per year. If you round down that's zero people per year.
Dogs, on the other hand, polish off 43 people a year in the US.
Hippos: those are rookie numbers
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:43 PM on June 17 [2 favorites]
Dogs, on the other hand, polish off 43 people a year in the US.
Hippos: those are rookie numbers
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:43 PM on June 17 [2 favorites]
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posted by lapolla at 11:30 PM on June 12 [8 favorites]