That is precisely why I am the right person to make this list
July 9, 2024 6:37 AM Subscribe
25 Songs about Horses Ranked By How Much I Think You Should Play Them for Your Horse (slPaste)
Submitted because it deeply amused me
Submitted because it deeply amused me
For transparency’s sake, I must admit that I have never owned a horse, nor have I spent particularly extensive time around horses, nor do I even like them that much. But fret not: That is precisely why I am the right person to make this list.
The author has caught the spirit of MetaFilter.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:49 AM on July 9 [16 favorites]
The author has caught the spirit of MetaFilter.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:49 AM on July 9 [16 favorites]
horsegiirL wants a word... My Barn My Rules
For more of this equine wonder, I seriously recommend the Boiler Room set linked by wellifyouinsist in this previously
posted by protorp at 6:56 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
For more of this equine wonder, I seriously recommend the Boiler Room set linked by wellifyouinsist in this previously
posted by protorp at 6:56 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
I want this to include "The Strawberry Roan" (the Marty Robbins version for me), a song of horse empowerment if ever there were one, and "Tennessee Stud" almost certainly the most famous song with a horse romance plot.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:01 AM on July 9 [3 favorites]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:01 AM on July 9 [3 favorites]
To be fair, the article said one criteria was that “Horse” had to be in the title….
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:03 AM on July 9
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:03 AM on July 9
I once rode a horse* and therefore am fully qualified to stated that no list of horse songs could possibly be complete without the deathless masterpiece that is Horse Outside (Warning: very NSFW and a bit rude about Billie Piper.) Very horse-positive on the whole, so probably belongs near the top of this list.
* If I'm being honest, I sat on the horse whilst it took me where it wanted to go, which happily was neither far nor fast. Bloody terrifying things, horses.
posted by tomsk at 7:15 AM on July 9 [7 favorites]
* If I'm being honest, I sat on the horse whilst it took me where it wanted to go, which happily was neither far nor fast. Bloody terrifying things, horses.
posted by tomsk at 7:15 AM on July 9 [7 favorites]
Thanks for this silliness!
21. The Rolling Stones: “Wild Horses”posted by spamandkimchi at 7:23 AM on July 9 [6 favorites]
I’ll be blunt: To a horse, this song is insulting, riddled with falsehoods and egotistical delusions. The ridiculous refrain of “wild horses couldn’t drag me away” is a bold assertion for any human to make, as it insinuates that the strength of not only one wild horse, but wild horses plural, would somehow be so weak as to utterly fail at moving even a single human.
My favorite horse song is Math The Band's Tour De Friends.
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:27 AM on July 9
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:27 AM on July 9
Canadian artist Corb Lund did a whole album of horse songs,
And he just kept going with It's Raining Horses .
Also if you are going to include A Horse with No Name, it should be the cover version by the Loud Family that would frighten a horse. Though they are naturally skittish, they still love a fright every now and then brought along by discordant electric guitar.
Laid Back - White Horse This song from the '80s when horses loaded up their manes with gel and went to the horse goth club still rules.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:33 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
And he just kept going with It's Raining Horses .
Also if you are going to include A Horse with No Name, it should be the cover version by the Loud Family that would frighten a horse. Though they are naturally skittish, they still love a fright every now and then brought along by discordant electric guitar.
Laid Back - White Horse This song from the '80s when horses loaded up their manes with gel and went to the horse goth club still rules.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:33 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
Canadian artist Corb Lund did a whole album of horse songs, and it's fantastic. Horse Soldier! Horse Soldier!
Love that album, and should really go see what Corb's been up to lately. It's been a minute since I've seen him play out and I don't know if that's me not paying attention or if he's cut back his touring.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:36 AM on July 9
Love that album, and should really go see what Corb's been up to lately. It's been a minute since I've seen him play out and I don't know if that's me not paying attention or if he's cut back his touring.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:36 AM on July 9
I love these kinds of lists, thanks for posting. Also:
A Horse in the Country
Horse & Carriage
Pony
posted by box at 7:36 AM on July 9
A Horse in the Country
Horse & Carriage
Pony
posted by box at 7:36 AM on July 9
Although it does not meet the criteria I think the horses might enjoy Old Town Road.
The Chieftans did the soundtrack for a documentary called “Ballad of the Irish Horse” and it would be enjoyed by both humans and equines I believe.
Stewball / Skewball is about an actual 18th century racehorse. It might put ideas into their heads about demanding wine instead of water though.
posted by Ishbadiddle at 7:48 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]
The Chieftans did the soundtrack for a documentary called “Ballad of the Irish Horse” and it would be enjoyed by both humans and equines I believe.
Stewball / Skewball is about an actual 18th century racehorse. It might put ideas into their heads about demanding wine instead of water though.
posted by Ishbadiddle at 7:48 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]
A little surprised not to see "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" on here somewhere. Guess there are just a lot of songs about horses.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:49 AM on July 9 [5 favorites]
posted by Navelgazer at 7:49 AM on July 9 [5 favorites]
25. 100 gecs: “stupid horse”
Absolutely not.
Already love it.
The ridiculous refrain of “wild horses couldn’t drag me away” is a bold assertion for any human to make, as it insinuates that the strength of not only one wild horse, but wild horses plural, would somehow be so weak as to utterly fail at moving even a single human.
A horse wrote this and I'm invested.
posted by mhoye at 8:14 AM on July 9 [5 favorites]
Absolutely not.
Already love it.
The ridiculous refrain of “wild horses couldn’t drag me away” is a bold assertion for any human to make, as it insinuates that the strength of not only one wild horse, but wild horses plural, would somehow be so weak as to utterly fail at moving even a single human.
A horse wrote this and I'm invested.
posted by mhoye at 8:14 AM on July 9 [5 favorites]
wait what no ginuwine this is bullshit
posted by mhoye at 8:16 AM on July 9 [3 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 8:16 AM on July 9 [3 favorites]
There are literally only two situations in which I would ever greenlight this song: You are the owner of a horses-only BDSM club and in need of an EEDM (Equine Electronic Dance Music) banger
3. Equus: the musical
posted by HearHere at 8:16 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]
3. Equus: the musical
posted by HearHere at 8:16 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]
wait what no ginuwine this is bullshit
I mean, if you wanted to make your horse horny, I say put that song on there
posted by Kitteh at 8:18 AM on July 9
I mean, if you wanted to make your horse horny, I say put that song on there
posted by Kitteh at 8:18 AM on July 9
I feel like “My Lovely Horse” could have challenged Bruce for the top of the list
posted by TwoWordReview at 8:23 AM on July 9 [9 favorites]
posted by TwoWordReview at 8:23 AM on July 9 [9 favorites]
I posted before about discovering the great Alaskan chiropractor/Arabian horse enthusiast/singer Woody Wills in a Kansas thrift shop. His song "Run Arabian Run" would certainly fit the bill.
If there ever was a horse who deserved to have wings
The Arabian flies through the sky!!!!
(::cue Mexican horns for some reason::)
posted by downtohisturtles at 8:40 AM on July 9
If there ever was a horse who deserved to have wings
The Arabian flies through the sky!!!!
(::cue Mexican horns for some reason::)
posted by downtohisturtles at 8:40 AM on July 9
How can this list exist without a single mention of Meg Ryan singing 'Horses Horses Horses Horses'. which terrifies me and I'm not even a horse last I checked (except Chinese Zodiacally).
posted by Hogshead at 8:45 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
posted by Hogshead at 8:45 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
If you're here and don't know what this thing called "horse" is:
- It is a big animal. Really, bigger than your dog.
- Everything else important is explained by this video.
posted by JHarris at 8:49 AM on July 9
- It is a big animal. Really, bigger than your dog.
- Everything else important is explained by this video.
posted by JHarris at 8:49 AM on July 9
Looked for Heavy Horses by Jethro Tull, left disappointed.
posted by kikaider01 at 9:26 AM on July 9 [5 favorites]
posted by kikaider01 at 9:26 AM on July 9 [5 favorites]
too bad about the title requirement, as i'm sure horses would enjoy lyle lovett's if i had a boat
posted by Clowder of bats at 9:33 AM on July 9 [3 favorites]
posted by Clowder of bats at 9:33 AM on July 9 [3 favorites]
Here’s a rage- and grief-inducing song about the Appaloosas and the Nez Perce.
If you play it for your horse they may be radicalized.
(I apologize for dropping this in a fun thread, but I do love the song).
posted by bunderful at 9:54 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]
If you play it for your horse they may be radicalized.
(I apologize for dropping this in a fun thread, but I do love the song).
posted by bunderful at 9:54 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]
The Ballad of Dawn Run could be on such a list. Where were you when Dawn Run won the Cheltenham Gold Cup in 1986? will get an answer from anyone in Ireland over the age of 50; even those who don't know a fetlock from a padlock.
posted by BobTheScientist at 9:59 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
posted by BobTheScientist at 9:59 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
I see your horseplay, and in return present a goat in a pen playing modular synth.
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:59 AM on July 9 [4 favorites]
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:59 AM on July 9 [4 favorites]
Somebody's Darling- "I found god watching the Horses thinking we were free.
That's right humans. Horses are free as we are not tied to desks and phones, only to oats and meadows. And occasionally other horses and carts. But only because we choose to help!!
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:04 AM on July 9
That's right humans. Horses are free as we are not tied to desks and phones, only to oats and meadows. And occasionally other horses and carts. But only because we choose to help!!
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:04 AM on July 9
As a Springsteen fan this really feels like a list made after a bet that the author couldn’t come up with a song ranking that put Pony Boy — Springsteen’s worst song — at number one. I love it.
posted by wemayfreeze at 10:27 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
posted by wemayfreeze at 10:27 AM on July 9 [1 favorite]
Alternate number one selections:
Bring on the Dancing Horses Echo and the Bunnymen
Horse Outside Rubberbandits (Not Remotely Safe For Work)...fuck your Mitsubishi
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:39 AM on July 9 [3 favorites]
Bring on the Dancing Horses Echo and the Bunnymen
Horse Outside Rubberbandits (Not Remotely Safe For Work)...fuck your Mitsubishi
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:39 AM on July 9 [3 favorites]
Is there anything as still as sleeping horses?
Rest easy, colts.
posted by hydrophonic at 10:44 AM on July 9
Rest easy, colts.
posted by hydrophonic at 10:44 AM on July 9
Missing a damn good tune, "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree"
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 10:54 AM on July 9 [4 favorites]
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 10:54 AM on July 9 [4 favorites]
What about Tom Waits' "Pony"? I'm mostly familiar with cats, but I think a horse might like a song about leaving its human alone to die.
posted by credulous at 11:00 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]
posted by credulous at 11:00 AM on July 9 [2 favorites]
What about a list of songs to play while serving horse?
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 12:03 PM on July 9
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 12:03 PM on July 9
Missing "Alag mori-mini (My piebald horses)," sung by the National Youth Choir of South Mongolia.
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:57 PM on July 9
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:57 PM on July 9
I'll echo My Lovely Horse and Ginuwine's Pony, then add some Ween. Mister Won't You Please Help My Pony is an ode to ensuring proper medical care is available when multiple symptoms arise.
posted by myopicman at 2:08 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]
posted by myopicman at 2:08 PM on July 9 [2 favorites]
How about On Horseback by Mike Oldfield?
Or Jackie Lee with the rather lovely theme from White Horses?
posted by thatwhichfalls at 2:13 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]
Or Jackie Lee with the rather lovely theme from White Horses?
posted by thatwhichfalls at 2:13 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]
I'll add Bonnie Prince Billy's Horses. (The Palace version is also really good. Much darker.)
posted by chbrooks at 4:16 PM on July 9
posted by chbrooks at 4:16 PM on July 9
Counting Crows Another Horsedreamer's Blues
Precluded by the lack of "horse" in the title, but I wanted to share with all present:
Caitlin Cary Pony
Polaris Ivy Boy
posted by Nekosoft at 5:02 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]
Precluded by the lack of "horse" in the title, but I wanted to share with all present:
Caitlin Cary Pony
Polaris Ivy Boy
posted by Nekosoft at 5:02 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]
I spent the whole article humming KT Tunstall's Black Horse and The Cherry Tree.
posted by mitabrev at 5:06 PM on July 9 [4 favorites]
posted by mitabrev at 5:06 PM on July 9 [4 favorites]
For pure verve, I’m pretty partial to Los Lobos’ Jenny’s Got a Pony. The lyrics are nonsensical so it’s pretty hard to dislike it based on what it’s about and it’s a damn fine piece of music.
I don’t really like horses, (I’m generally afraid of any 1000 lb animal) but I feel like a smart horse oughta like this.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:55 PM on July 9
I don’t really like horses, (I’m generally afraid of any 1000 lb animal) but I feel like a smart horse oughta like this.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:55 PM on July 9
I love that I'm like the fourth or fifth person to come here to post KT Tunstall.
Let me add another instead: Deb Talan, Wild Horse
posted by humbug at 6:58 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]
Let me add another instead: Deb Talan, Wild Horse
posted by humbug at 6:58 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]
Highly apropos for this forum, it's missing Spiderbait - Buy Me A Pony.
posted by goo at 7:21 PM on July 9
posted by goo at 7:21 PM on July 9
The exclusion of I Break Horses is unfortunate, but understandable
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:01 PM on July 9
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:01 PM on July 9
Is this the way it's gunna be, little darling? You'll be erasing significant Australian cultural reference points, yeah yeah.
posted by Jilder at 8:31 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]
posted by Jilder at 8:31 PM on July 9 [1 favorite]
if ponies are close enough, Candypants - I Want a Pony but it's about a greedy human who is mostly not interested in things a horse would care for (for example liposuctioned thighs and Jeno Leno's motorcycle). Horses have no need for such things.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:30 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:30 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]
Didn't see a mention of George Harrison's Dark Horse. It's one of his boppier tunes. We have four horses, and I do believe it's their favorite among former Beatles' solo efforts.
posted by young_simba at 7:51 AM on July 10 [2 favorites]
posted by young_simba at 7:51 AM on July 10 [2 favorites]
Elvira
My heart's on fire for Elvira
Giddy up, um-poppa-um-poppa, mow, mow
Giddy up, um-poppa-um-poppa, mow, mow
High-ho silver, away
posted by credulous at 12:08 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
My heart's on fire for Elvira
Giddy up, um-poppa-um-poppa, mow, mow
Giddy up, um-poppa-um-poppa, mow, mow
High-ho silver, away
posted by credulous at 12:08 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
Rest in peace, Joe Bonsall (he was, I recently learned, the one with the mustache).
posted by box at 4:42 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 4:42 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
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posted by workerant at 6:44 AM on July 9 [4 favorites]