I hope I’m never loud and lonely enough to want to buy one.
July 10, 2024 12:51 PM Subscribe
I drove a Cybertruck around SF because I am a smart, cool Alpha male. Drew Magary provides us (at least me) with a chuckle about the most ugly contemporary vehicle to currently exist. (SFGate)
the video is good. I don’t think i’ve ever seen Drew Magary on video; wasn’t what i expected.
posted by supercres at 1:02 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
posted by supercres at 1:02 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
I don’t think i’ve ever seen Drew Magary on video; wasn’t what i expected.
I recommend looking up his appearance on Chopped.
posted by NoxAeternum at 1:12 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
I recommend looking up his appearance on Chopped.
posted by NoxAeternum at 1:12 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
I finally saw my first, and then my second shortly after. The second one had been painted matte black, which just seemed like a Wile-E-Coyote Super Genius level decision on the hottest day of the year.
Reminded me of the time in high school when we were on a school trip and saw a DeLorean that someone had painted red. A someone who later that year made news as a serial killer.
🤔
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
posted by funkaspuck at 1:12 PM on July 10 [15 favorites]
Reminded me of the time in high school when we were on a school trip and saw a DeLorean that someone had painted red. A someone who later that year made news as a serial killer.
🤔
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
posted by funkaspuck at 1:12 PM on July 10 [15 favorites]
The ugliest current-production vehicle is probably the BMW XM.
posted by kickingtheground at 1:13 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
posted by kickingtheground at 1:13 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
I'm currently visiting my hometown of SF and saw my first escapee from Battlezone Cybertruck in the wild a few days ago. With how thin on the ground Teslas specifically (and electric vehicles rather than hybrids more generally) are in Japan, I don't expect to ever see one there.
posted by Strutter Cane - United Planets Stilt Patrol at 1:17 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
posted by Strutter Cane - United Planets Stilt Patrol at 1:17 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
My youngest daughter just got her permit, and is driving us everywhere. She & I saw a Cybertruck in a mall parking lot next to a McDonald's yesterday (she missed a turn and then another, and we were making circles, looking for the exit) and we got all excited.
They really are as ugly in person as you have heard -- and "within yards of the fast food dumpster" does seem to be the *perfect* setting for your first run-in with one.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:20 PM on July 10 [17 favorites]
They really are as ugly in person as you have heard -- and "within yards of the fast food dumpster" does seem to be the *perfect* setting for your first run-in with one.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:20 PM on July 10 [17 favorites]
Well I discovered that three words that will make me shudder involuntarily are "the Tesla app."
posted by JHarris at 1:25 PM on July 10 [21 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 1:25 PM on July 10 [21 favorites]
I live in the Bay area and sadly see many a Cybertruck. My judgment is: less ugly than you would expect from the front (though the wiper sword looks very goofy), about as ugly as you would expect from the side, and absolute dumpster chic from the back. Baffling car.
I had a model S loaner (I think) with the on-screen gear shift. Nightmare feature. I could never get used to it. In general, pushing important car features to a touchscreen menu seems really dangerous. No one can safely navigate a touchscreen menu while driving!
posted by grandiloquiet at 1:28 PM on July 10 [26 favorites]
I had a model S loaner (I think) with the on-screen gear shift. Nightmare feature. I could never get used to it. In general, pushing important car features to a touchscreen menu seems really dangerous. No one can safely navigate a touchscreen menu while driving!
posted by grandiloquiet at 1:28 PM on July 10 [26 favorites]
Based on numbers released related to a recall last month, less than 12,000 CyberTrucks have been sold world-wide.
Five of those are currently in the parking lot of my deeply Silicon Valley office. >_<
posted by hanov3r at 1:30 PM on July 10 [31 favorites]
Five of those are currently in the parking lot of my deeply Silicon Valley office. >_<
posted by hanov3r at 1:30 PM on July 10 [31 favorites]
The first one I saw "live" was on the side of the road, with some decent damage to the driver's side rear. It looked (to me) like it probably hit a much smaller car that was in its massive blindspot. Everyone involved appeared to be OK, so I had a good chuckle. I hope Tesla insurance takes good care of the other driver.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:34 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
posted by Rock Steady at 1:34 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
Elon Musk is a penis.
Hey! That's an insult to penises everywhere!
I mean, not that I disagree with the statement, but still...
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:39 PM on July 10 [13 favorites]
Hey! That's an insult to penises everywhere!
I mean, not that I disagree with the statement, but still...
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:39 PM on July 10 [13 favorites]
the proper contemptuous description for elon musk is "a waste of good ketamine"
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 1:42 PM on July 10 [53 favorites]
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 1:42 PM on July 10 [53 favorites]
I like Magary's subtle dig at the Cyber Truck's "gas pedal"
posted by chavenet at 1:47 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 1:47 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
All the hate on the cybertruck for it's appearance more than the poor engineering kinda makes the uncool nerd in me want one? Like, if I am forced to have to buy a personal automotive vehicle because of America's terrible transit decisions, I want to be uncool as fuck out of spite.
posted by Zalzidrax at 1:48 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
posted by Zalzidrax at 1:48 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
I have seen four over the last couple of months, although three of them might have been the same guy. It must be a guy, right? I'm in Westchester County, NY, where many rich white people go out to pasture, for example the Clintons. I'm white but not rich, so I still work.
My daughters get excited when they see a CT because they look just like the cars in Roblox. To me they look like a napkin sketch come to life. I've tried to think of a clever "slug bug!" type thing to say on these occasions but instead I just yell "Cybertruck!" and point. It's such a ridiculous name that It probably works just as well.
I have wondered if there were similar moments in history where a vehicle design was so radically different from everything else on the road that it turned heads like this. Did those cars herald a larger change in automotive fashion? Like did people who drive Thunderbirds do a double take when they first saw an RX-7?
Maybe in 5 years all new cars will be Roblox cars.
posted by swift at 1:48 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
My daughters get excited when they see a CT because they look just like the cars in Roblox. To me they look like a napkin sketch come to life. I've tried to think of a clever "slug bug!" type thing to say on these occasions but instead I just yell "Cybertruck!" and point. It's such a ridiculous name that It probably works just as well.
I have wondered if there were similar moments in history where a vehicle design was so radically different from everything else on the road that it turned heads like this. Did those cars herald a larger change in automotive fashion? Like did people who drive Thunderbirds do a double take when they first saw an RX-7?
Maybe in 5 years all new cars will be Roblox cars.
posted by swift at 1:48 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
They are SO UGLY. They look like a shitty movie prop. I love how people are pointing and making fun of it and flashing the finger.
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:50 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:50 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]
I have no desire to own one, but somebody said they look like a cross between a Transformer and a rumpled ball of tinfoil, and yeah, that's about right.
I actually dig the multitude of colors they either are available in, or that people who buy them immediately get them painted to be even more outlandish.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:52 PM on July 10
I actually dig the multitude of colors they either are available in, or that people who buy them immediately get them painted to be even more outlandish.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:52 PM on July 10
As someone from the rest of the world, I have to say that rich, tasteless Americans that want to be the center of attention sounds like a huge market. They'll sell a million of them.
posted by other barry at 1:56 PM on July 10 [14 favorites]
posted by other barry at 1:56 PM on July 10 [14 favorites]
I had to drive to Palo Alto yesterday, and as I was passing close to Fremont, I saw a car carrier loaded with 4 or 5 of these monstrosities. Given their shape, you'd think you could pack them more efficiently.
In other news, the Cyber Squire is my favorite mod so far.
posted by bashos_frog at 1:57 PM on July 10 [29 favorites]
In other news, the Cyber Squire is my favorite mod so far.
posted by bashos_frog at 1:57 PM on July 10 [29 favorites]
Also I've been reading Drew Magary since the Deadspin days, and never imagined him basically being a close looks and cadence relative of comedian Jim Gaffigan.
posted by The_Vegetables at 2:01 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]
posted by The_Vegetables at 2:01 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]
The only one I've seen in person had a South of the Border bumper sticker on it, which was was so unexpected that it was perfect.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:02 PM on July 10 [10 favorites]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:02 PM on July 10 [10 favorites]
It feels right that the first time I saw one IRL was in a South Carolina suburb.
posted by Kitteh at 2:02 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 2:02 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
The first thing I thought when I saw one was "huh somebody fucked up the Gourard shading"
posted by credulous at 2:03 PM on July 10 [13 favorites]
posted by credulous at 2:03 PM on July 10 [13 favorites]
I'm doubtful I'll see one anytime soon here in the Rust Belt, although I did hear on bsky that one was spotted in the western suburbs of Cleveland.
posted by slogger at 2:07 PM on July 10
posted by slogger at 2:07 PM on July 10
I saw my first one in the wild a couple months ago, and it was so big! If they were smaller, like station wagon sized? I might think they were cooler, in a sort of low budget blade runner sort of way. But they are giant. All the stupid bits are so hard to miss.
posted by Chocolate Sandwich at 2:08 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
posted by Chocolate Sandwich at 2:08 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
/r/cyberstuck on Reddit keeps popping into my feed and I've been delighted in some of the posts., including the recent one on the frustration of the Cybertent when it won't inflate.....yes that's right... Tesla sells a $2,975 inflatable truck bed camping tent to go with your Cybertruck...which looks great until it doesn't work...presumably because it has a hole in it...so the Pontiac Aztek version still wins apparently....
I've seen a few around and my major takeaway has been that the drivers love to poke the ass of the Cybertruck out way too far when parking....but that could be said for a lot of trucks.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 2:08 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
I've seen a few around and my major takeaway has been that the drivers love to poke the ass of the Cybertruck out way too far when parking....but that could be said for a lot of trucks.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 2:08 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
I saw one last week, it was painted a deep forest green. Which was doubly hilarious as it was driving past a forest preserve; it really looked like an over-engineered dumpster that someone thinks is bear proof but then finds out bears can drive. Not to slag on bears; I imagine they'd drive a Subaru like any other sensible creature.
posted by winesong at 2:13 PM on July 10 [25 favorites]
posted by winesong at 2:13 PM on July 10 [25 favorites]
I gather that the different colors are the "wraps," advised but not included by Tesla because the Cybertruck rusts in basically any amount of moisture.
posted by grandiloquiet at 2:20 PM on July 10 [7 favorites]
posted by grandiloquiet at 2:20 PM on July 10 [7 favorites]
I've heard that these will never sell in the EU because they do not have "crunch zones" and therefore will never pass safety standards. Anyone know if this is true?
I did see a photo of one once that had been in an accident. It looked unscathed while the car it collided with was totalled. Not sure how either driver held up.
posted by dobbs at 2:22 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
I did see a photo of one once that had been in an accident. It looked unscathed while the car it collided with was totalled. Not sure how either driver held up.
posted by dobbs at 2:22 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
There were a few dozen of them in Austin, parked behind the Tesla dealership off McNeil and highway 183 recently. That dealership also seems to use a nearby megachurch as overflow parking. So at any given time there's a ton of random Teslas parked in this megachurch parking lot in the middle of the week.
Which, I mean, I don't even know what to say. It is certainly on-brand for everyone involved.
I digress. Anyway. With that much gaudy bullshit on display I started to wonder how many of them one could theoretically torch with a flamethrower before they got 5 stars, a la GTA, and Abbott personally sent in the national guard. Hypothetically. Of course.
posted by howbigisthistextfield at 2:26 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
Which, I mean, I don't even know what to say. It is certainly on-brand for everyone involved.
I digress. Anyway. With that much gaudy bullshit on display I started to wonder how many of them one could theoretically torch with a flamethrower before they got 5 stars, a la GTA, and Abbott personally sent in the national guard. Hypothetically. Of course.
posted by howbigisthistextfield at 2:26 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
I still have yet to see one in the wild, but a colleague who I generally like a lot surprised me today by saying he was considering one as his next car. I told him that if he purchased one that I would immediately put a pair of truck nuts on it.
posted by ActionPopulated at 2:31 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]
posted by ActionPopulated at 2:31 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]
I saw my first Cybertruck on the first day of this month, on our way home from DC, so this would've been somewhere around Baltimore/Wilmington, iirc. It is as everyone else here has described it.
escapee from Battlezone
This is perfect and I wish I'd have thought of it.
To me they look like a napkin sketch come to life.
The Cybertruck is Cool S the Car, if it wasn't an insult to the Cool S.
posted by May Kasahara at 2:34 PM on July 10 [6 favorites]
This is perfect and I wish I'd have thought of it.
To me they look like a napkin sketch come to life.
The Cybertruck is Cool S the Car, if it wasn't an insult to the Cool S.
posted by May Kasahara at 2:34 PM on July 10 [6 favorites]
The ugliest current-production vehicle is probably the BMW XM.
This comment drove me to answer the question: did BMW cancel the i3? Yes they did
posted by pwnguin at 2:39 PM on July 10
This comment drove me to answer the question: did BMW cancel the i3? Yes they did
posted by pwnguin at 2:39 PM on July 10
the proper contemptuous description for elon musk is "a waste of good ketamine"
One load that should have been swalllowed.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 2:40 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
One load that should have been swalllowed.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 2:40 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
My kids point and laugh at the cybertrucks we see around town. Once, our car window was open as we drove past a person who appeared to be showing friends/family their new matte black wrapped cybvertruck. He heard my son's Nelson Muntz impression, and looked either saddened, or resigned to having heard it many times already.
posted by onehalfjunco at 2:45 PM on July 10 [14 favorites]
posted by onehalfjunco at 2:45 PM on July 10 [14 favorites]
Before the Cybertruck (even typing that name makes me feel stupid), the ugliest North American production car was, in my opinion, the Infiniti QX56. The 2025 model is much less horrible, but for over a decade this was the ugliest thing on the road. It looked like someone made a full sized SUV, and then smashed another full-sized SUV on top of it. But the Tesla has really toppled the old champ, the two times I saw one in person it was just the ugliest slab-sided monstrosity.
posted by 1adam12 at 2:52 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
posted by 1adam12 at 2:52 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
I've seen a couple of Cybertrucks near me. Last time I saw one I thought "Is this what it was like to see someone driving an Edsel?"
posted by Reverend John at 3:00 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
posted by Reverend John at 3:00 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
Like, if I am forced to have to buy a personal automotive vehicle because of America's terrible transit decisions, I want to be uncool as fuck out of spite.
Just buy a used Honda Fit and call it a day, like I did
posted by rhymedirective at 3:05 PM on July 10 [18 favorites]
Just buy a used Honda Fit and call it a day, like I did
posted by rhymedirective at 3:05 PM on July 10 [18 favorites]
Like, if I am forced to have to buy a personal automotive vehicle because of America's terrible transit decisions, I want to be uncool as fuck out of spite.
The problem with this is, some people think it’s EXTREMELY cool, and those people are by and large absolutely unbearable. (I don’t personally hate the way it looks to be honest, but I sure hate its massive size and overall shoddiness and the fact that it was made by a guy who deliberately undermines public transit projects as a matter of course,)
posted by showbiz_liz at 3:12 PM on July 10 [6 favorites]
The problem with this is, some people think it’s EXTREMELY cool, and those people are by and large absolutely unbearable. (I don’t personally hate the way it looks to be honest, but I sure hate its massive size and overall shoddiness and the fact that it was made by a guy who deliberately undermines public transit projects as a matter of course,)
posted by showbiz_liz at 3:12 PM on July 10 [6 favorites]
I saw my first a week or two ago, and thought it looked almost OK in person. (I just saw the front and side as it drove past- didn't get to really see the back)
I assume this would be the same buyers that bought Hummers back in the day, except for the electric part. Is the Maga crowd OK with the CT?
(Whatever happened to the Hummer?)
posted by MtDewd at 3:16 PM on July 10
I assume this would be the same buyers that bought Hummers back in the day, except for the electric part. Is the Maga crowd OK with the CT?
(Whatever happened to the Hummer?)
posted by MtDewd at 3:16 PM on July 10
There's frequently one parked across the street from me in front of the auto mechanic. I don't know if it's owned by someone who works there or the car is constantly breaking down and they have to take it to the mechanic all the time. It's probably the first idea but the second is funnier.
posted by downtohisturtles at 3:27 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
posted by downtohisturtles at 3:27 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
The ugliest current-production vehicle is probably the BMW XM.
I... I think it looks great. But I'm also a fan of the original M Coupe and the AMC Eagle, so.
posted by grumpybear69 at 3:28 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
I... I think it looks great. But I'm also a fan of the original M Coupe and the AMC Eagle, so.
posted by grumpybear69 at 3:28 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
I'm doubtful I'll see one anytime soon here in the Rust Belt, although I did hear on bsky that one was spotted in the western suburbs of Cleveland.
slogger, I actually saw my first one in the wild while visiting downtown Pittsburgh, of all places! (This past May, to be specific.)
Yup: they're ugly.
Also, fun article, but the photos made me miss the Bay Area something fierce. Obviously, despite-not-because-of its high Tesla vehicle quotient...
posted by cyrusdogstar at 3:35 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
slogger, I actually saw my first one in the wild while visiting downtown Pittsburgh, of all places! (This past May, to be specific.)
Yup: they're ugly.
Also, fun article, but the photos made me miss the Bay Area something fierce. Obviously, despite-not-because-of its high Tesla vehicle quotient...
posted by cyrusdogstar at 3:35 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
My neighbor has a CyberTruck. It is deeply fugly, and its massive size and blind spots make me uneasy on our quiet residential street with lots of kids. Curiously, he seems to have also bought a Model Y at the same time. I guess I could ask him about this decision, but then I’d have to talk to him.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 3:38 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 3:38 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]
(Whatever happened to the Hummer?)
The brand was killed during GM's reorg following the 2008 financial crisis, but recently brought back to life in 2020 as an EV. I'm sure its rebirth had nothing to do with the rumored Cybertruck /s.
posted by General Malaise at 3:41 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
The brand was killed during GM's reorg following the 2008 financial crisis, but recently brought back to life in 2020 as an EV. I'm sure its rebirth had nothing to do with the rumored Cybertruck /s.
posted by General Malaise at 3:41 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
Acromegalic DeLorean
posted by gottabefunky at 3:47 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
posted by gottabefunky at 3:47 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
There’s one in my neighborhood. Whenever I see it, I involuntarily say “Asshole” under my breath
posted by thivaia at 3:48 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
posted by thivaia at 3:48 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
In other news, the Cyber Squire is my favorite mod so far.
Does it also come in Family Truckster green?
posted by sageleaf at 4:04 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
Does it also come in Family Truckster green?
posted by sageleaf at 4:04 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
Lots of them popped up recently around the hills/west side of LA.
I can't help but laugh out loud every time I see one. Dumbest looking car ever.
Also, unsurprisingly, the drivers inevitably appear to be male and look like crypto bros.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 4:05 PM on July 10
I can't help but laugh out loud every time I see one. Dumbest looking car ever.
Also, unsurprisingly, the drivers inevitably appear to be male and look like crypto bros.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 4:05 PM on July 10
I don't hate them because they're ugly. I hate them because they're ugly with a very aggressive aesthetic, and actually very useless in variable terrain. This is like the Humvee shit all over again. Plug-in toxic masculinity.
posted by queensissy at 4:22 PM on July 10 [22 favorites]
posted by queensissy at 4:22 PM on July 10 [22 favorites]
> Cyber Squire
i am angered up by the knowledge that someone figured out how to make a cybertrvck look cool
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 4:26 PM on July 10 [6 favorites]
i am angered up by the knowledge that someone figured out how to make a cybertrvck look cool
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 4:26 PM on July 10 [6 favorites]
It makes the Pontiac Aztek look good and that car was a design disaster. Heck, it makes that little squashed looking Fiat look cool. It’s uglier than a Smart car.
Props to Elon for slowing down with humping employees long enough to design possibly the ugliest car. Ever.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 4:37 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
Props to Elon for slowing down with humping employees long enough to design possibly the ugliest car. Ever.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 4:37 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
I really hope that any voice directions are done in the voice of KITT
posted by brookeb at 4:42 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
posted by brookeb at 4:42 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
That stupid Cybertruck jalopy has more Sean-Connery-in-a-thong Zardoz energy than anything else I could name.
posted by wenestvedt at 4:44 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]
posted by wenestvedt at 4:44 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]
One of the things that annoy me is if this thing was sized like an actual small truck, eg the mazda b series, I'd probably like it. I love wedge shaped cars. But it is too slab sided because of how ridiculously tall it is and the roof breaks at the wrong spot because it's a crew cab.
And of course it's loaded with Teslas fuckery like no tactical controls.
if I am forced to have to buy a personal automotive vehicle because of America's terrible transit decisions, I want to be uncool as fuck out of spite.
You need something like a Micra then because some people actually think the CT is cool.
Is this what it was like to see someone driving an Edsel?"
The Edsel basically had a single uh, interesting, design choice for the grill but otherwise wasn't a bad looking car for the time if not terribly exciting. Ford hyped the crap out of it though and that really back fired on them.
posted by Mitheral at 4:47 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]
And of course it's loaded with Teslas fuckery like no tactical controls.
if I am forced to have to buy a personal automotive vehicle because of America's terrible transit decisions, I want to be uncool as fuck out of spite.
You need something like a Micra then because some people actually think the CT is cool.
Is this what it was like to see someone driving an Edsel?"
The Edsel basically had a single uh, interesting, design choice for the grill but otherwise wasn't a bad looking car for the time if not terribly exciting. Ford hyped the crap out of it though and that really back fired on them.
posted by Mitheral at 4:47 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]
From the inline youtube video in the article, I learned I've been pronouncing Drew Magary's name wrong for a very long time. It's like M'Gary. (Clearly I've never seen his Chopped episode.)
posted by Tesseractive at 4:53 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
posted by Tesseractive at 4:53 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
In my town there's a law firm that advertises with billboards that just say "Hurt by a truck?" and the name and number for thr firm.
My wife saw her first CyberTruck in our area the other day, and presumably it belongs to one of the partners at that firm, because it was wrapped in that ad. And I gotta say, that catch phrase comes across a lot more threatening that way...
posted by biogeo at 4:57 PM on July 10 [7 favorites]
My wife saw her first CyberTruck in our area the other day, and presumably it belongs to one of the partners at that firm, because it was wrapped in that ad. And I gotta say, that catch phrase comes across a lot more threatening that way...
posted by biogeo at 4:57 PM on July 10 [7 favorites]
Here in San Francisco, I’ve seen these stainless steel shit mobiles here and there, but the other day I saw a mint condition Edsel sitting on the street, now that looked cool.
posted by njohnson23 at 4:58 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]
posted by njohnson23 at 4:58 PM on July 10 [5 favorites]
I have this weird urge to defend the Cybertruck's appearance. Not because I think it looks good - though I guess I think its ugliness is overstated - but because I find most vehicles on the road to be extremely boring and conservative in appearance and design, and I have this desire to see manufacturers rewarded for trying something new and playing to particular tastes. I'd like to believe there's room for experimentation and expressions of individualized taste in a device that apparently everyone is obligated to go into debt to own. If the road's gotta be full of cars, I'd prefer a world where I find some ugly and some beautiful to a world where every single one is a tan blob.
The problem as I see it with the Cybertruck is Tesla's terrible, belligerent labor practices, which are evidenced in both its inconsistent manufacture, and its powerfully impractical design. What is this thing for? Why is it so expensive? Who wants to spend so much on a thing so niche? Why do its features keep failing? It's easy to imagine Musk dictating these things directly, idk maybe he does, but I feel like it would take a whole management culture overriding practical push-back in favor of sending good news up the chain to fuck up an interesting product this badly.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 5:02 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]
The problem as I see it with the Cybertruck is Tesla's terrible, belligerent labor practices, which are evidenced in both its inconsistent manufacture, and its powerfully impractical design. What is this thing for? Why is it so expensive? Who wants to spend so much on a thing so niche? Why do its features keep failing? It's easy to imagine Musk dictating these things directly, idk maybe he does, but I feel like it would take a whole management culture overriding practical push-back in favor of sending good news up the chain to fuck up an interesting product this badly.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 5:02 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]
Ford hyped the crap out of it though and that really back fired on them.
For a second I thought this was a really clever pun, but I was thinking of the Pinto, not the Edsel.
posted by rifflesby at 5:10 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
For a second I thought this was a really clever pun, but I was thinking of the Pinto, not the Edsel.
posted by rifflesby at 5:10 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
I shuddered involuntarily at the mention of changing gears on a touchpad. That is a deeply cursed design decision.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:17 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:17 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]
These touch panels are a really cheap way to eliminate all the knobs, buttons, levers, etc usually found on the dashboard of a car. More profit! The usability is not a concern of the manufacturer.
posted by njohnson23 at 5:21 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
posted by njohnson23 at 5:21 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
Not a CyberTruck, but I saw the vehicle of a Tesla repair service driving around my area last week.
It was a Ford Transit.
posted by eviemath at 5:23 PM on July 10 [14 favorites]
It was a Ford Transit.
posted by eviemath at 5:23 PM on July 10 [14 favorites]
I have this weird urge to defend the Cybertruck's appearance. Not because I think it looks good - though I guess I think its ugliness is overstated - but because I find most vehicles on the road to be extremely boring and conservative in appearance
I'm in the same boat. I would probably like the Cybertruck's design if it wasn't, well, the Cybertruck. I would rather live in a world with some ugly cars than a world where all cars look the same. And as person who's fond of Brutalism, I'm used to liking the look of something many others consider ugly.
But it's hard for me to appreciate the design of the Cybertruck because it's an expression of what the Cybertruck is and stands for. Like, I can't divorce the heavy, aggressive, dystopian cyber-aesthetic from the fact that it's the Cybertruck.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:33 PM on July 10 [14 favorites]
I'm in the same boat. I would probably like the Cybertruck's design if it wasn't, well, the Cybertruck. I would rather live in a world with some ugly cars than a world where all cars look the same. And as person who's fond of Brutalism, I'm used to liking the look of something many others consider ugly.
But it's hard for me to appreciate the design of the Cybertruck because it's an expression of what the Cybertruck is and stands for. Like, I can't divorce the heavy, aggressive, dystopian cyber-aesthetic from the fact that it's the Cybertruck.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:33 PM on July 10 [14 favorites]
I live on Long Island, I've seen two in the wild.
One flat black, with flames like a hot rod on the front.
The other canary yellow.
A friend explained they weren't painted, they were wrapped. He heard the finish on the stainless won't hold paint well.
posted by Marky at 5:33 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
One flat black, with flames like a hot rod on the front.
The other canary yellow.
A friend explained they weren't painted, they were wrapped. He heard the finish on the stainless won't hold paint well.
posted by Marky at 5:33 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
There are at least two here in my corner of Nebraska, and I know because one of them has a giant graphic of a local sports nutrition place on it so I can tell them apart.
posted by PussKillian at 5:41 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
posted by PussKillian at 5:41 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
Not that I will ever do this, but now I'm fantasizing about buying one, painting it dumpster green, and stenciling "Food Waste Only" on the side.
posted by chromecow at 5:53 PM on July 10 [21 favorites]
posted by chromecow at 5:53 PM on July 10 [21 favorites]
As for the interior, the Cybertruck is as barren as most other Tesla interiors. I got a big-ass touchscreen, a fighter pilot steering wheel and little more. Tactile pleasures were nonexistent. No buttons. No switches. I felt like I was driving around in an unfurnished apartment.
This was gold 😂
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 6:11 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]
This was gold 😂
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 6:11 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]
A someone who later that year made news as a serial killer.
Wait, who was that? I have to say it doesn't seem wise to drive a red DeLorean as a person trying to repeatedly get away with murder...
posted by oneirodynia at 6:20 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
Wait, who was that? I have to say it doesn't seem wise to drive a red DeLorean as a person trying to repeatedly get away with murder...
posted by oneirodynia at 6:20 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
The article doesn't say anything that hasn't been said many times elsewhere.
I'll defend the decision to make a bold style choice. However, I can't defend the actual choice that was made. There was something about its looks I found wrong, that I couldn't quite put my finger on, until I saw a video that voiced the feeling well: it's actually a retro design. Futuristic ca. 1980 or so. But in 2024, makes no sense. It would have made a perfect companion to the Damnation Alley Landmaster. And a really cool Hot Wheel of the time. That may be the exact appeal it's supposed to have. Retro futurism. Which, of course, means it makes about as much sense as fins and rocket-shaped hood ornaments.
Much has already been said of the engineering and manufacturing fails on display in the vehicle. Having seen them around town here in L.A., I'll add some observations that seem less common. The use of stainless steel is is a bold choice that presents significant challenges. Especially when so many body panels are supposed to be flat. Which means any deviation from flatness looks kind of shitty. And they deviate. Unfinished stainless looks remarkable when you peel back the protective plastic it get shipped with from the foundry. Exposed to the elements, it gets extremely challenging to make it maintain that lustre. It seems to always look "dirty" unless it's getting buffed every day. And Tesla's reputation for fit and finish does no favors to the car.
Tesla's biggest win has been the ability to make otherwise professional people publicly drop their pants for all to see. A few months back, when everyone was pointing and laughing at the debacle, Sandy Munro made a youtube video to defend Tesla's wisdom, starting out by declaring that he wasn't talking about those pesky emotions, or them sappy feelings, but cold HARD FACTS. And proceeded to go on a tirade in defense of Musk and his empire. I thought he was going to start crying, close to a "Leave Elon Alone" moment.
Being one of the cool kids really takes a toll.
posted by 2N2222 at 6:35 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]
I'll defend the decision to make a bold style choice. However, I can't defend the actual choice that was made. There was something about its looks I found wrong, that I couldn't quite put my finger on, until I saw a video that voiced the feeling well: it's actually a retro design. Futuristic ca. 1980 or so. But in 2024, makes no sense. It would have made a perfect companion to the Damnation Alley Landmaster. And a really cool Hot Wheel of the time. That may be the exact appeal it's supposed to have. Retro futurism. Which, of course, means it makes about as much sense as fins and rocket-shaped hood ornaments.
Much has already been said of the engineering and manufacturing fails on display in the vehicle. Having seen them around town here in L.A., I'll add some observations that seem less common. The use of stainless steel is is a bold choice that presents significant challenges. Especially when so many body panels are supposed to be flat. Which means any deviation from flatness looks kind of shitty. And they deviate. Unfinished stainless looks remarkable when you peel back the protective plastic it get shipped with from the foundry. Exposed to the elements, it gets extremely challenging to make it maintain that lustre. It seems to always look "dirty" unless it's getting buffed every day. And Tesla's reputation for fit and finish does no favors to the car.
Tesla's biggest win has been the ability to make otherwise professional people publicly drop their pants for all to see. A few months back, when everyone was pointing and laughing at the debacle, Sandy Munro made a youtube video to defend Tesla's wisdom, starting out by declaring that he wasn't talking about those pesky emotions, or them sappy feelings, but cold HARD FACTS. And proceeded to go on a tirade in defense of Musk and his empire. I thought he was going to start crying, close to a "Leave Elon Alone" moment.
Being one of the cool kids really takes a toll.
posted by 2N2222 at 6:35 PM on July 10 [11 favorites]
That stupid Cybertruck jalopy has more Sean-Connery-in-a-thong Zardoz energy than anything else I could name.
That is an insult to Sean Connery, thongs, and Zardoz. Although I can certainly imagine a Cybertruck driver bellowing, "The penis is bad! The gun is good!"
posted by jonp72 at 6:44 PM on July 10 [13 favorites]
That is an insult to Sean Connery, thongs, and Zardoz. Although I can certainly imagine a Cybertruck driver bellowing, "The penis is bad! The gun is good!"
posted by jonp72 at 6:44 PM on July 10 [13 favorites]
I’ve struggled to think of how to conceptualize the things Elon Musk thinks are cool and I’ve realized the answer is, it’s as if a '90s sysadmin just awoke from a 30-year nap, a la Austin Powers.
posted by smelendez at 6:50 PM on July 10 [19 favorites]
posted by smelendez at 6:50 PM on July 10 [19 favorites]
The odd thing to me, seeing one on the freeway for the first time a few months ago, was much more its profile read to me as "armored car" than truck. Which, y'know, deliberate; Musk was not coy about the bulletproof schtick; but man, the whole "truck" part really seems incidental to me.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 6:57 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 6:57 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
Ozzy Man does a great meditation on the woes of Cyber trucks.
posted by emjaybee at 8:37 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
posted by emjaybee at 8:37 PM on July 10 [1 favorite]
I saw one driving on the beach the other day! We were waiting anxiously for it to get stuck but alas, it managed the sand.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:41 PM on July 10
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:41 PM on July 10
I got to drive a Tesla Cybertruck for a day this spring.
This article is highly newsworthy, if only because this vehicle managed to last an entire day of driving before rolling through SF fog and breaking down from exposure to moisture.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:04 PM on July 10
This article is highly newsworthy, if only because this vehicle managed to last an entire day of driving before rolling through SF fog and breaking down from exposure to moisture.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:04 PM on July 10
There's a lot of hate on the Cybertruck, but at least the hood doesn't stand 5 feet off the ground like the F-150 and Chevy pickups do.
posted by coberh at 9:17 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
posted by coberh at 9:17 PM on July 10 [4 favorites]
It looks stupidly different-just-to-be-different but things sure have been in a stylistic rut for a while. My 93 Civic Hatchback would still blend in among any sampling of late model cars on the road today. Comparing any other 30 year stretch, it would be like a Model T in the mid 50s or a 57 Chevy in the late 80s.
posted by brachiopod at 9:19 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
posted by brachiopod at 9:19 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
I live in New York and have seen two, one in Times Square and one double-parked outside of family court.
posted by naoko at 10:06 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]
posted by naoko at 10:06 PM on July 10 [8 favorites]
at least the hood doesn't stand 5 feet off the ground like the F-150 and Chevy pickups do
But years of pickup evolution have rounded the F-150 and Chevy trucks' corners. I tell you that cybertruck's gonna hurt people, backing up and going around tight corners, its pointy corners will be unrelenting.
I've now seen one or two myself, and yes they're hideous and stupid-looking. And when I'm a pedestrian or cyclist nearby, scary!
posted by Rash at 10:28 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
But years of pickup evolution have rounded the F-150 and Chevy trucks' corners. I tell you that cybertruck's gonna hurt people, backing up and going around tight corners, its pointy corners will be unrelenting.
I've now seen one or two myself, and yes they're hideous and stupid-looking. And when I'm a pedestrian or cyclist nearby, scary!
posted by Rash at 10:28 PM on July 10 [3 favorites]
In general, pushing important car features to a touchscreen menu seems really dangerous. No one can safely navigate a touchscreen menu while driving!
Seconded. If I can’t buy a car without a touchscreen I may never buy a car again. Also, there’s a CT in Eugene, Oregon.
posted by bendy at 10:53 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
Seconded. If I can’t buy a car without a touchscreen I may never buy a car again. Also, there’s a CT in Eugene, Oregon.
posted by bendy at 10:53 PM on July 10 [2 favorites]
But years of pickup evolution have rounded the F-150 and Chevy trucks' corners. I tell you that cybertruck's gonna hurt people, backing up and going around tight corners, its pointy corners will be unrelenting.
Absolutely! And no offense to everyone else here, but I feel like it says a lot about car culture that we're over 80 comments in before someone brought up this rather important point. It's not a fashion accessory, it's a multi-ton hunk of steel and glass. I don't care if it looks like the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, I'm more concerned about the likely danger it poses to me, someone who has the audacity to prefer walking and cycling.
posted by photo guy at 12:02 AM on July 11 [7 favorites]
Absolutely! And no offense to everyone else here, but I feel like it says a lot about car culture that we're over 80 comments in before someone brought up this rather important point. It's not a fashion accessory, it's a multi-ton hunk of steel and glass. I don't care if it looks like the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, I'm more concerned about the likely danger it poses to me, someone who has the audacity to prefer walking and cycling.
posted by photo guy at 12:02 AM on July 11 [7 favorites]
OK I guess there was one comment. Still says something that the conversation seems focused on the style (or lack thereof) than the fact that it's a literal stainless-steel knife on wheels.
I've heard that these will never sell in the EU because they do not have "crunch zones" and therefore will never pass safety standards. Anyone know if this is true?
I haven't seen anything conclusive, but the gist I get is that it's unlikely to pass. Here's a better breakdown. Also speaks volumes that the NHTSA does not evaluate pedestrian risk at all AND is apparently unable to do much legally to stop the Cybertruck. What a joke.
posted by photo guy at 12:13 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]
I've heard that these will never sell in the EU because they do not have "crunch zones" and therefore will never pass safety standards. Anyone know if this is true?
I haven't seen anything conclusive, but the gist I get is that it's unlikely to pass. Here's a better breakdown. Also speaks volumes that the NHTSA does not evaluate pedestrian risk at all AND is apparently unable to do much legally to stop the Cybertruck. What a joke.
posted by photo guy at 12:13 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]
Drew's Defector colleague David Roth also talked about this hideous lump of bro-eyeshittery back in May upon seeing one the bellend-wagons for the first time:
The experience was not any less startling or unsettling for how ready I considered myself to be for it. I had read about the Cybertruck for some time, and watched numerous videos of Cybertrucks doing rudimentary four-wheel-drive shit with the sort of dexterity and confidence generally associated with concepts like "George C. Scott's first capoeira class" or "Robocop doing burpees." I have also been following Elon Musk's uncanny transformation into the single most unfortunate middle-aged outcome for the Butt-Head character from Beavis And Butt-Head.
I don't think Roth can write a bad article even when it's just slagging off a car's literal and figurative ugliness, so well worth a good smirk with
posted by onebuttonmonkey at 12:43 AM on July 11 [4 favorites]
The experience was not any less startling or unsettling for how ready I considered myself to be for it. I had read about the Cybertruck for some time, and watched numerous videos of Cybertrucks doing rudimentary four-wheel-drive shit with the sort of dexterity and confidence generally associated with concepts like "George C. Scott's first capoeira class" or "Robocop doing burpees." I have also been following Elon Musk's uncanny transformation into the single most unfortunate middle-aged outcome for the Butt-Head character from Beavis And Butt-Head.
I don't think Roth can write a bad article even when it's just slagging off a car's literal and figurative ugliness, so well worth a good smirk with
posted by onebuttonmonkey at 12:43 AM on July 11 [4 favorites]
my favourite genre of writing is cybertruck owners who posted stuff like
"i was driving through my suburb and a lady pulled up next to me and rolled down her window just to tell me 'fuck you'. then i tried to turn right but the cybertruck went left instead, where it encountered residual spray from a lawn sprinkler, voiding my warranty for getting it wet. later i tried to park it but all the wheels fell off at once and the windows shattered. tesla says it will take nine months to fix it and cost me twice what i paid. still, i love my cybertruck and buying it was the best decision i ever made in my entire life"
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 4:40 AM on July 11 [26 favorites]
"i was driving through my suburb and a lady pulled up next to me and rolled down her window just to tell me 'fuck you'. then i tried to turn right but the cybertruck went left instead, where it encountered residual spray from a lawn sprinkler, voiding my warranty for getting it wet. later i tried to park it but all the wheels fell off at once and the windows shattered. tesla says it will take nine months to fix it and cost me twice what i paid. still, i love my cybertruck and buying it was the best decision i ever made in my entire life"
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 4:40 AM on July 11 [26 favorites]
My first experience seeing the CT IRL couldn't have been scripted better.
In the suburban shopping plaza where my optometrist is located, there is a notorious (at least to me) parking section that I always try to avoid, to the point where I'll park much further away and walk to my appointment.
Picture a narrow roadway that has a row of parking spaces on either side, so if a car on side A and a car on side B were both trying to back out of their spot, they would collide quickly in the middle. In addition, this is a main entryway into the plaza, so there is always a constant stream of cars coming down the middle, oh and it's a two way street, so cars are coming both ways. It's a very poorly designed parking area that feels like an afterthought, as if the planners realized they needed more spaces somewhere to reach their quota.
It was in this context that I saw the cybertruck standing out like a sore thumb, parked in the middle of a row with the end sticking out noticeably. I laughed saying to myself "Oh that dude will have fun getting out" and then went to my appointment.
Fast forward 90 minutes later, when I stumble out of the office with my dilated pupils and I can see there's some sort of mayhem going on. When the truck had first parked, there had been empty spaces in its row, but now they were full, so literally, there was no wiggle room for him to turn as he was backing out. But even backing straight out wouldn't give you enough room to turn if there were cars in the row behind you. So the car was effectively stuck.
Who knows how long they had been in this situation, but we're now drifting into peak lunchtime hours, and at this point, the passenger of the car was standing in the road trying to halt traffic and help his hapless friend exit, but good luck with that. (If you're picturing these two to be white thirty-something dudes with baseball caps, Raybans, Vineyard Haven polo shirts and baggy shorts you would be correct.)
These shopping plazas bring out the ruthlessness in drivers heading in to drop off FiFi for grooming at Petco, or other dudes in trucks coming in to get lunch at Five Guys. Noone was giving these guys any quarter, because actually, it was obvious to all that there was no way they were getting out until the spaces next to them were again empty.
Some say these two are still there today.
posted by jeremias at 6:11 AM on July 11 [18 favorites]
In the suburban shopping plaza where my optometrist is located, there is a notorious (at least to me) parking section that I always try to avoid, to the point where I'll park much further away and walk to my appointment.
Picture a narrow roadway that has a row of parking spaces on either side, so if a car on side A and a car on side B were both trying to back out of their spot, they would collide quickly in the middle. In addition, this is a main entryway into the plaza, so there is always a constant stream of cars coming down the middle, oh and it's a two way street, so cars are coming both ways. It's a very poorly designed parking area that feels like an afterthought, as if the planners realized they needed more spaces somewhere to reach their quota.
It was in this context that I saw the cybertruck standing out like a sore thumb, parked in the middle of a row with the end sticking out noticeably. I laughed saying to myself "Oh that dude will have fun getting out" and then went to my appointment.
Fast forward 90 minutes later, when I stumble out of the office with my dilated pupils and I can see there's some sort of mayhem going on. When the truck had first parked, there had been empty spaces in its row, but now they were full, so literally, there was no wiggle room for him to turn as he was backing out. But even backing straight out wouldn't give you enough room to turn if there were cars in the row behind you. So the car was effectively stuck.
Who knows how long they had been in this situation, but we're now drifting into peak lunchtime hours, and at this point, the passenger of the car was standing in the road trying to halt traffic and help his hapless friend exit, but good luck with that. (If you're picturing these two to be white thirty-something dudes with baseball caps, Raybans, Vineyard Haven polo shirts and baggy shorts you would be correct.)
These shopping plazas bring out the ruthlessness in drivers heading in to drop off FiFi for grooming at Petco, or other dudes in trucks coming in to get lunch at Five Guys. Noone was giving these guys any quarter, because actually, it was obvious to all that there was no way they were getting out until the spaces next to them were again empty.
Some say these two are still there today.
posted by jeremias at 6:11 AM on July 11 [18 favorites]
I've heard that these will never sell in the EU because they do not have "crunch zones" and therefore will never pass safety standards. Anyone know if this is true?
Usually called crumple zones; the idea being you build a strong passenger cage to protect occupants, and have areas of the vehicle body that will intentionally deform or crumple up. This diverts kinetic energy into doing that, plus slowing down the collision overall - the peak force applied to passengers is inversely related to the time over which it is applied. Crumple zones mean more expensive repairs for minor collisions, but lower risk for the occupants. There are more recent standards on using similar principles to help reduce pedestrian impact, such as a crumple zone in the front end to slow down and reduce leg injuries and things like an active bonnet to lower head injuries, and runover protection to reduce the risk of being caught and crushed underneath.
Crumple zones are not strictly required to pass safety tests, but the lack certainly won't help in meeting the strict standards on impact risks. The bigger issue is the way the thing seems custom designed to murder pedestrians and cyclists - rigid plates that will be like diving onto concrete, awful sight lines (especially to the rear) increasing the risk of runovers, a high front (by euro standards) and of course the nice sharp corners that will concentrate impact forces into a point that seem outright intended to puncture any cyclist that gets in the way like a water balloon. I very much doubt it could pass even minimal euro safety standards.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 6:15 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
Usually called crumple zones; the idea being you build a strong passenger cage to protect occupants, and have areas of the vehicle body that will intentionally deform or crumple up. This diverts kinetic energy into doing that, plus slowing down the collision overall - the peak force applied to passengers is inversely related to the time over which it is applied. Crumple zones mean more expensive repairs for minor collisions, but lower risk for the occupants. There are more recent standards on using similar principles to help reduce pedestrian impact, such as a crumple zone in the front end to slow down and reduce leg injuries and things like an active bonnet to lower head injuries, and runover protection to reduce the risk of being caught and crushed underneath.
Crumple zones are not strictly required to pass safety tests, but the lack certainly won't help in meeting the strict standards on impact risks. The bigger issue is the way the thing seems custom designed to murder pedestrians and cyclists - rigid plates that will be like diving onto concrete, awful sight lines (especially to the rear) increasing the risk of runovers, a high front (by euro standards) and of course the nice sharp corners that will concentrate impact forces into a point that seem outright intended to puncture any cyclist that gets in the way like a water balloon. I very much doubt it could pass even minimal euro safety standards.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 6:15 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
I very much doubt it could pass even minimal euro safety standards.
yeah and for some reason there's a cybertruck doing a sorta european tour right now. probably to get eurochuds excited about it to build some kind of potential market idk, but funniest of all is it made a stop in iceland. laughed my ass off. like yeah buddy enjoy the constant salty air in a country that rains 200 days a year, perfect environment for this thing lmao
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 7:01 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
yeah and for some reason there's a cybertruck doing a sorta european tour right now. probably to get eurochuds excited about it to build some kind of potential market idk, but funniest of all is it made a stop in iceland. laughed my ass off. like yeah buddy enjoy the constant salty air in a country that rains 200 days a year, perfect environment for this thing lmao
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 7:01 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
I think there's also a story around how the CT drivetrain was designed around engineering advancements that Tesla has been unable to deliver. 400Wh/kg batteries were seen as plausible by around now, with manufacturing improvements alone, so that really high energy pack didn't materialise. V4 Superchargers were supposed to do >500kW, but are currently still all running on V3 backends, limited to 250kW, and very few of them exist. The CT currently charges faster on EA than Tesla, which has to be embarrassing.
To be fair to them, it seems like a lot of business plans got written around that 400Wh/kg figure, which is at least partly why we have all these e-VTOL startups, but no e-VTOLs. I find it interesting that it seems Tesla were believing their own internal claims, rather than someone else's, though.
Chevy seem to have benchmarked those original El*n CT plans when designing their Silverado EV, and just bit a few bullets to make it work. They've built themselves an absolute monster of a truck with a >200kWh battery, and nearly 400kW charging. If you want to tow a boat around it's currently your only real EV option, but it costs 100 grand, and weighs 8,500lbs.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 7:08 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]
To be fair to them, it seems like a lot of business plans got written around that 400Wh/kg figure, which is at least partly why we have all these e-VTOL startups, but no e-VTOLs. I find it interesting that it seems Tesla were believing their own internal claims, rather than someone else's, though.
Chevy seem to have benchmarked those original El*n CT plans when designing their Silverado EV, and just bit a few bullets to make it work. They've built themselves an absolute monster of a truck with a >200kWh battery, and nearly 400kW charging. If you want to tow a boat around it's currently your only real EV option, but it costs 100 grand, and weighs 8,500lbs.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 7:08 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]
I unironically think they look actually cool when painted or wrapped, which makes Elon’s decision to leave it raw all the more hilarious.
Still looks ridiculous from the back, tho, and they don’t belong on actual streets with actual humans.
posted by wemayfreeze at 7:09 AM on July 11
Still looks ridiculous from the back, tho, and they don’t belong on actual streets with actual humans.
posted by wemayfreeze at 7:09 AM on July 11
If you asked a four-year-old child to draw a picture of a truck, the cybertruck is what you'll get.
posted by bwvol at 7:13 AM on July 11 [2 favorites]
posted by bwvol at 7:13 AM on July 11 [2 favorites]
In general I am a fan of weird looking cars, but it being designed by a billionaire with fascist tendencies and being outright dangerous to other people takes away the fun. The Aztec was ugly but it didn't aspire to be a pedestrian-killing machine.
posted by emjaybee at 7:13 AM on July 11 [7 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 7:13 AM on July 11 [7 favorites]
it's actually a retro design. Futuristic ca. 1980 or so. It would have made a perfect companion to the Damnation Alley Landmaster.
This is why I find it so æsthetically repulsive. Rather than a streamlined, truly futuristic World-of-Tomorrow design, it's this reduced-promise, post-oil-crisis K-Car compromise.
posted by Rash at 7:38 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]
This is why I find it so æsthetically repulsive. Rather than a streamlined, truly futuristic World-of-Tomorrow design, it's this reduced-promise, post-oil-crisis K-Car compromise.
posted by Rash at 7:38 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]
The bigger issue is the way the thing seems custom designed to murder pedestrians and cyclists
The concern over lethality to pedestrians and cyclists seems to be a developing rallying point, but I'm not sure it's relevant. Are there any vehicles designed to be safe for impact against pedestrians and cyclists?
It may be that people are really critical over the lack of visibility to the driver/blind spots. Which would appear to be a problem, though broadly mitigated on many modern cars by the ubiquity of sensors. To be fair, I have a new Corolla, and find the driver side B pillar to present an unusually significant blind spot one wouldn't normally expect from just looking at the vehicle. One that's also mitigated by a sensor specifically for that blindspot.
The extreme rigidity of the Cybertruck's exterior has been used to criticize the increased lethality to the occupants of the vehicle, though said increased lethality seems to be assumed. This seems to be a criticism based upon the concept of crumple zones. Actual objective data can attest to the safety of passengers, and my even exist for the Cybertruck. However, I'm unaware anybody actually references any data.
posted by 2N2222 at 7:47 AM on July 11
The concern over lethality to pedestrians and cyclists seems to be a developing rallying point, but I'm not sure it's relevant. Are there any vehicles designed to be safe for impact against pedestrians and cyclists?
It may be that people are really critical over the lack of visibility to the driver/blind spots. Which would appear to be a problem, though broadly mitigated on many modern cars by the ubiquity of sensors. To be fair, I have a new Corolla, and find the driver side B pillar to present an unusually significant blind spot one wouldn't normally expect from just looking at the vehicle. One that's also mitigated by a sensor specifically for that blindspot.
The extreme rigidity of the Cybertruck's exterior has been used to criticize the increased lethality to the occupants of the vehicle, though said increased lethality seems to be assumed. This seems to be a criticism based upon the concept of crumple zones. Actual objective data can attest to the safety of passengers, and my even exist for the Cybertruck. However, I'm unaware anybody actually references any data.
posted by 2N2222 at 7:47 AM on July 11
Are there any vehicles designed to be safe for impact against pedestrians and cyclists?
lethality against cyclists and pedestrians has been a pretty prominent criticism of the latest generation of supertrucks, for example; like the ones that stand at like five or six feet tall at the front and prevent being able to see several metres in front of the vehicle, are more likely to slam into heads and upper torsos rather than just legs, and so on. i mean i can't speak to vehicles being tested to be safer against cyclists and pedestrians, but being less safe against them is not a new criticism and isn't confined to cybertrucks
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 8:10 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
lethality against cyclists and pedestrians has been a pretty prominent criticism of the latest generation of supertrucks, for example; like the ones that stand at like five or six feet tall at the front and prevent being able to see several metres in front of the vehicle, are more likely to slam into heads and upper torsos rather than just legs, and so on. i mean i can't speak to vehicles being tested to be safer against cyclists and pedestrians, but being less safe against them is not a new criticism and isn't confined to cybertrucks
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 8:10 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
The concern over lethality to pedestrians and cyclists seems to be a developing rallying point, but I'm not sure it's relevant. Are there any vehicles designed to be safe for impact against pedestrians and cyclists?
There are, but more to the point the top 3 vehicles sold (pickup trucks besting the lower end of the top 10 by 2-3X) in the US have no regulations about hood height, and have hood heights above 5 ft stock.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:11 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
There are, but more to the point the top 3 vehicles sold (pickup trucks besting the lower end of the top 10 by 2-3X) in the US have no regulations about hood height, and have hood heights above 5 ft stock.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:11 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
The concern over lethality to pedestrians and cyclists seems to be a developing rallying point, but I'm not sure it's relevant. Are there any vehicles designed to be safe for impact against pedestrians and cyclists?
Well, it's a sliding scale - when you've got 1.5 or 2 tons of metal involved, safe isn't really the right word; but you can reduce risks of harm. Obviously the best option is to never have a collision at all; reducing car use, separating cars and cyclists through the use of bike lanes, bike-first intersections etc, pedestrian-only zones etc etc all play a big part. Lower speed limits also make a big difference; the statistic that's been around for a while is that at 20MPH 97% of pedestrians survive; at 40MPH only 10% do. So 20MPH limits in residential areas that are followed do make a massive difference.
Road deaths in the EU have fallen substantially in the last 20 years, and the work continues to make them fall further, especially for unprotected road users as they now make up 70% of fatalities in urban areas (pedestrians and cyclists).
'Low speed' collisions in urban areas are the most common, and that's where better vehicle design can make a meaningful difference to the type and risk of serious injuries to unprotected users. The EU introduced the General Safety Regulation in 2019 specifically to improve in this area and covers automated systems such as vulnerable user warnings in the blind spots for truck drivers, better visibility standards, intelligent speed assistants (i.e. tell you if you're speeding), emergency brake assist systems, and other things such as alcohol interlocks and driver attention warning systems, as well as physical improvements to the outside of vehicles to make them do less damage - sure, getting hit by a car is never going to be trivial, but the goal is to make it less likely to happen, less likely to be lethal, and injuries less severe.
I can't speak to the US though; you guys seem to have a very different approach to vehicle regulation over there.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 9:35 AM on July 11 [4 favorites]
Well, it's a sliding scale - when you've got 1.5 or 2 tons of metal involved, safe isn't really the right word; but you can reduce risks of harm. Obviously the best option is to never have a collision at all; reducing car use, separating cars and cyclists through the use of bike lanes, bike-first intersections etc, pedestrian-only zones etc etc all play a big part. Lower speed limits also make a big difference; the statistic that's been around for a while is that at 20MPH 97% of pedestrians survive; at 40MPH only 10% do. So 20MPH limits in residential areas that are followed do make a massive difference.
Road deaths in the EU have fallen substantially in the last 20 years, and the work continues to make them fall further, especially for unprotected road users as they now make up 70% of fatalities in urban areas (pedestrians and cyclists).
'Low speed' collisions in urban areas are the most common, and that's where better vehicle design can make a meaningful difference to the type and risk of serious injuries to unprotected users. The EU introduced the General Safety Regulation in 2019 specifically to improve in this area and covers automated systems such as vulnerable user warnings in the blind spots for truck drivers, better visibility standards, intelligent speed assistants (i.e. tell you if you're speeding), emergency brake assist systems, and other things such as alcohol interlocks and driver attention warning systems, as well as physical improvements to the outside of vehicles to make them do less damage - sure, getting hit by a car is never going to be trivial, but the goal is to make it less likely to happen, less likely to be lethal, and injuries less severe.
I can't speak to the US though; you guys seem to have a very different approach to vehicle regulation over there.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 9:35 AM on July 11 [4 favorites]
I can't speak to the US though; you guys seem to have a very different approach to vehicle regulation over there.
Sadly we have a different approach (or lack thereof) to ALL regulations, not just vehicle regulations. As of now, risks to pedestrians are not a consideration when testing cars.
However, this thread inspired to me to look into it, and apparently the NHTSA is attempting to change this, thank God: https://www.nhtsa.gov/press-releases/nhtsa-proposes-new-crashworthiness-pedestrian-protection-testing-program
Of course this could all go away very quickly depending on how the election goes this fall.
posted by photo guy at 9:40 AM on July 11
Sadly we have a different approach (or lack thereof) to ALL regulations, not just vehicle regulations. As of now, risks to pedestrians are not a consideration when testing cars.
However, this thread inspired to me to look into it, and apparently the NHTSA is attempting to change this, thank God: https://www.nhtsa.gov/press-releases/nhtsa-proposes-new-crashworthiness-pedestrian-protection-testing-program
Of course this could all go away very quickly depending on how the election goes this fall.
posted by photo guy at 9:40 AM on July 11
> In general, pushing important car features to a touchscreen menu seems really dangerous.
in which i make a grim prediction of what the horrifying future holds for us:
touchscreen gas and brake pedals.
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 10:08 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
in which i make a grim prediction of what the horrifying future holds for us:
touchscreen gas and brake pedals.
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 10:08 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
Note: pedals require an active subscription to operate.
posted by downtohisturtles at 10:10 AM on July 11 [5 favorites]
posted by downtohisturtles at 10:10 AM on July 11 [5 favorites]
Now I really, really want to take one of these things out for a spin
posted by gottabefunky at 10:53 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]
posted by gottabefunky at 10:53 AM on July 11 [1 favorite]
The lead image on that Defector article is pure gold
posted by gottabefunky at 10:55 AM on July 11 [4 favorites]
posted by gottabefunky at 10:55 AM on July 11 [4 favorites]
apparently the NHTSA is attempting to change this
The Constitution doesn't say anything about pedestrian impact standards, so unfortunately this is illegal and probably a crime against Pure White Jesus.
posted by aramaic at 11:01 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
The Constitution doesn't say anything about pedestrian impact standards, so unfortunately this is illegal and probably a crime against Pure White Jesus.
posted by aramaic at 11:01 AM on July 11 [3 favorites]
This unused 1980 concept design for the Aston Martin Bulldog is strikingly similar to the Cybertruck. Elon Musk may not have known about this vehicle specifically, but the Aston Martin connection makes sense, when you consider that Elon Musk's Cybertruck design was heavily influenced by the Lotus Esprit S1 submarine car that was in the Bond movie The Spy Who Loved Me.
posted by jonp72 at 11:36 AM on July 11 [2 favorites]
posted by jonp72 at 11:36 AM on July 11 [2 favorites]
Reminder that urls aren’t automatically turned into links, but can easily be made linkable (thus contributing to site accessibility) by using the “link” button in the quick-access edit buttons immediately below the comment input window. (The link button is the one on the far right of the row of buttons just under the comment box.) Linking urls properly ourselves saves mod time for actual site moderation, too!
posted by eviemath at 1:17 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]
posted by eviemath at 1:17 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]
Making a vehicle that is more likely to damage, or kill, other road users seems perverse, even in the US, where vehicles that increase the chances of someone running over their own child (or seventeen children) are somehow normalised.
And a disproportionate number of frontover victims are children, as these accidents mostly take place in driveways and parking lots. According to Kids and Cars, about 81% of victims are 6 years and under.
Musk has not yet done to Tesla what he did to Twitter, but that doesn't seem to be for want of trying.
posted by asok at 3:51 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]
And a disproportionate number of frontover victims are children, as these accidents mostly take place in driveways and parking lots. According to Kids and Cars, about 81% of victims are 6 years and under.
Musk has not yet done to Tesla what he did to Twitter, but that doesn't seem to be for want of trying.
posted by asok at 3:51 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]
It's like an Aztek fucked a DeLorean.
posted by kirkaracha at 5:18 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]
posted by kirkaracha at 5:18 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]
It's like an Aztek fucked a DeLorean.
Adjacent response, but with a, um, different take on it: Lewis Black.
posted by aramaic at 6:35 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]
Adjacent response, but with a, um, different take on it: Lewis Black.
posted by aramaic at 6:35 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]
This unused 1980 concept design for the Aston Martin Bulldog is strikingly similar to the Cybertruck.
This is what I was getting at; I love the Bulldog. And the Esprit, Countach, Carabo, Stratos, Stratos Zero *drool*. Ahem. But all are long and low, none of them have a sharp crease on the roof looking like they are wearing a dunce cap, and none have a massive flat slab of metal at the front. They are wedges not high wall tents.
If the CT was proportioned like the old school Rampage but with the windshield laid back and extending forward seamlessly into the hood it would have had that wedge esthetic and looked good even with the goofy roof break because that bend would have been so much shallower. It also would have sold zero examples to the bro-dozer crowd.
posted by Mitheral at 7:03 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]
This is what I was getting at; I love the Bulldog. And the Esprit, Countach, Carabo, Stratos, Stratos Zero *drool*. Ahem. But all are long and low, none of them have a sharp crease on the roof looking like they are wearing a dunce cap, and none have a massive flat slab of metal at the front. They are wedges not high wall tents.
If the CT was proportioned like the old school Rampage but with the windshield laid back and extending forward seamlessly into the hood it would have had that wedge esthetic and looked good even with the goofy roof break because that bend would have been so much shallower. It also would have sold zero examples to the bro-dozer crowd.
posted by Mitheral at 7:03 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]
I feel like it says a lot about car culture that we're over 80 comments in before someone brought up this rather important point.
Speaking for myself as someone who is included in the 80+ comments you're shading here, that's because the Cybertruck's danger to others is such well-trodden ground. I just didn't feel the need to spell out that its danger to others is one of the things that its aesthetics reflects.
Its aesthetics are a reflection of the culture that built it. And the culture that built it is toxic and dangerous.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 9:26 PM on July 11 [3 favorites]
Speaking for myself as someone who is included in the 80+ comments you're shading here, that's because the Cybertruck's danger to others is such well-trodden ground. I just didn't feel the need to spell out that its danger to others is one of the things that its aesthetics reflects.
Its aesthetics are a reflection of the culture that built it. And the culture that built it is toxic and dangerous.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 9:26 PM on July 11 [3 favorites]
Kutsuwamushi, I don't think "well-trodden ground" is even remotely true but let's agree to disagree. As a pedestrian I don't think it's possible to comment too much on this.
I also was specifically commenting on the culture in general that downplays or actively ignores the dangers of cars to their surrounding environment, I was not criticizing individual people on this site. Sorry if it came across differently.
posted by photo guy at 3:39 AM on July 12
I also was specifically commenting on the culture in general that downplays or actively ignores the dangers of cars to their surrounding environment, I was not criticizing individual people on this site. Sorry if it came across differently.
posted by photo guy at 3:39 AM on July 12
.) Linking urls properly ourselves saves mod time for actual site moderation, too!
Yes my bad, I was posting from my phone (I don't have an office job and am rarely in front of a computer) and highlighting text on it is far easier said than done. If this site allowed editing I would fix it.
posted by photo guy at 3:49 AM on July 12
Yes my bad, I was posting from my phone (I don't have an office job and am rarely in front of a computer) and highlighting text on it is far easier said than done. If this site allowed editing I would fix it.
posted by photo guy at 3:49 AM on July 12
photo guy, I flagged it for the mods (as an html error). The link button is also available in the same location on the mobile site layout - that’s what I primarily use as well. (And tabs in my mobile browser, so that I can copy the url of a page, switch back to Metafilter and paste it in the dialog box that the link button pops up, then switch back and select any text I also want to copy from a link if relevant. Admittedly I keep way too many tabs open on my phone browser though!)
posted by eviemath at 3:55 AM on July 12
posted by eviemath at 3:55 AM on July 12
I have wondered if there were similar moments in history where a vehicle design was so radically different from everything else on the road that it turned heads like this.
VW Beetle, maybe? (Also produced by a fascist)
posted by chavenet at 6:04 AM on July 13 [2 favorites]
VW Beetle, maybe? (Also produced by a fascist)
posted by chavenet at 6:04 AM on July 13 [2 favorites]
> I have wondered if there were similar moments in history where a vehicle design was so radically different from everything else on the road that it turned heads like this.
I heard plenty of comments from strangers when I got my Scion xB twenty years ago.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:16 PM on July 24
I heard plenty of comments from strangers when I got my Scion xB twenty years ago.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:16 PM on July 24
I heard plenty of comments from strangers when I got my Scion xB twenty years ago.
Except that the xB's design was, you know, good, which is why they became beloved urban haulers. The Incel Camino, on the other hand, is a truck that fails at the assignment.
posted by NoxAeternum at 4:52 PM on July 24 [2 favorites]
Except that the xB's design was, you know, good, which is why they became beloved urban haulers. The Incel Camino, on the other hand, is a truck that fails at the assignment.
posted by NoxAeternum at 4:52 PM on July 24 [2 favorites]
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