Rival monkey gangs terrorise Thai city, mugging & assaulting schoolkids

August 10, 2024 9:49 AM

Rival monkey gangs terrorise Thai city, mugging and assaulting schoolkids and tourists. Thousands of long-tail macaques are following increasingly aggressive ringleaders into attacks on tourists and schoolkids, and now they're wising up to the "Anti-Monkey Unit's" tactics, leaving the town no choice but to try and round them up before they storm another police station.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries (35 comments total)

This sounds disturbing and I feel for the people affected and hope that a good solution is found soon.

(With that said, my knee jerk reaction was "Where is this show streaming and are all of the episodes available yet?" Because I would 100% watch this were it an odd lark of a fictional show and not a real life unfortunate situation.)
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:52 AM on August 10 [6 favorites]

But soon after the "arrests" had begun, about 30 monkeys escaped and stormed the police station.

"We'll be back."
posted by The Bellman at 10:03 AM on August 10 [4 favorites]

For reference, my physical anthropology professor had unfortunate experience being mugged by monkeys. She liked to say that the estimate from people in the know is that in a fight, 1lb of monkey is worth about 9lbs of human. So a large mature macaque at 20lbs could beat a lot of adult humans, just 1v1.
posted by SaltySalticid at 10:15 AM on August 10 [10 favorites]

wow this is awful but also yeah, not on my 2024 bingo card (2024 has been out to teach me a lot of tough lessons this year)
posted by supermedusa at 10:36 AM on August 10 [4 favorites]

My (USA) dad used to do business trips to India, often to remote areas. He always had guides and people to help get him around, and his trips often allowed him to take time to see interesting cultural and historic sites. He told me about monkey danger in various places he went, where they can become extremely aggressive and hostile... no eye contact, keep your distance, keep a look out for groups of them approaching. His guides and translators did the work, and he never personally witnessed any crazy monkey shenanigans, but he did indeed see the monkeys! He said they were very common in areas with people—especially tourist spots— looking for food scraps, trash, etc.

I know this is apples and oranges, but we hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon about a decade ago and then did some rafting in the Colorado. The trail down is heavily used by hikers and tourists. Turns out there are very large squirrels (maybe 2.5 times the size of squirrels you see in Chicago or NYC) and they have zero fear of humans. As soon as we sat down for a snack, they would come right up to us, and start trying to open the zippers on our bags, etc. Weirdly intimidating for wildlife to just get up in your face! They were pretty easy to chase away (yet persistent and sneaky!), but if squirrels can get that aggressive, I can imagine packs of monkeys to be downright terrifying.
posted by SoberHighland at 10:43 AM on August 10 [10 favorites]

I visited the Batu Caves shrine about 25 years ago and their were tons of these exact monkeys in the immediate area. they were monkeying around but did not commit any crimes and I did not see any warning signs. maybe the crime wave is a more recent thing?
posted by supermedusa at 11:10 AM on August 10

Unlike the apes, monkeys have no laws.
posted by house-goblin at 11:50 AM on August 10 [12 favorites]

monkeys are terrifyingly strong, so this is pretty horrific sounding. but also is this sponcon for the new planet of the apes?
posted by dis_integration at 11:50 AM on August 10

"A monkey stole my AirPod and bit it," she said.

I sort of laughed, but it sounds genuinely traumatic.

However, I would also watch CSI: Anti0Monkey Unit.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:41 PM on August 10

Snap, supermedusa - I visited the same caves at around the same time. The monkeys seemed relatively quiet but I did still see one snatch a little girl’s drink out of her hand.
posted by rory at 12:41 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]

I only saw them, ahem, making more monkeys. and pooping. lotsa pooping.
posted by supermedusa at 12:43 PM on August 10 [3 favorites]

This reboot of The Warriors is bonkers!
posted by JohnFromGR at 12:54 PM on August 10 [2 favorites]

"The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise."

-Dr. Zaius.
posted by clavdivs at 1:19 PM on August 10 [5 favorites]

And the standard problem with the monkeys on Gibraltar:

https://www.discoverwildlife.com/animal-facts/mammals/monkey-business-if-macaques-want-your-food-theyre-not-going-to-ask-for-it

[snip]
Small wonder that macaques have developed a reputation for erratic behaviour in Gibraltar. And its tourist boom – the peninsula hosts over 10 million visitors each year – is only making matters worse. The macaques will snatch food from the hands of tourists and steal anything from smartphones to number plates.

They are also renowned for their ferocity, towards both tourists and lower-ranking macaques. The easily available food heightens competition in a macaque troop, increasing aggressive behaviour.
posted by aleph at 2:22 PM on August 10

"Where is this show streaming and are all of the episodes available yet?"

Next best thing; second season dropped recently-ish.
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:23 PM on August 10 [5 favorites]

She liked to say that the estimate from people in the know is that in a fight, 1lb of monkey is worth about 9lbs of human. So a large mature macaque at 20lbs could beat a lot of adult humans, just 1v1.

I can confirm that this is about correct. And large mature macaques are more like 40 pounds. This story is genuinely frightening and I feel for those people.
posted by biogeo at 3:28 PM on August 10 [5 favorites]

A lot of this is likely due to an "Oh how cute, monkeys! Let's feed them some of our snacks!" attitude from well-meaning tourists. The monkeys grow through generations teaching their young that humans are harmless vending machines full of the absolute tastiest food they can get anywhere.

Don't feed wildlife.
posted by SoberHighland at 3:37 PM on August 10 [9 favorites]

"A monkey stole my AirPod and bit it," she said

Sing it to the tune of "I kissed a girl (and I liked it")
posted by chavenet at 5:17 PM on August 10 [7 favorites]

When I was 10-12 years old, back in the 1990s, I would read basically any book I could get about monkeys and apes. I particularly remember one I was reading the summer before my grandfather died, which probably was published in the 1960s (or thereabouts) and mentioned monkeys in India robbing people and doing similarly naughty things. I remember mentioning something about it to my dad, who didn't believe me - I can't remember if he just found any version of the concept implausible, or if I oversold the idea in the manner of a 12 year old unintentionally exaggerating something from a book such that my dad may have been objecting only to the exaggeration. In any case, this book didn't cause me to dislike monkeys but did cause me to have a lifelong awareness of the risk of organized monkey crime.
posted by Whale Oil at 5:38 PM on August 10 [3 favorites]

Hm, I glanced at Wikipedia before commenting and it says male long-tailed macaques weigh 11-20 lbs, which seems to be on the small side for macaques. Not that I'd mess with any of them!
posted by SaltySalticid at 8:16 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]

Capture the monkey ringleaders and make an example of then, i.e. organ-grinding and whatnot
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:24 PM on August 10

Yeah, on more thought I'm thinking about rhesus, and pretty well-fed ones. Long-tails are a bit smaller I believe. Point stands, though: a gang of aggresive macaques of any species is not something you want to deal with. Mostly they'll be intimidated by how much bigger you are than them, but if they decide that they can coordinate to take you on... they're probably right. I've been surrounded by hundreds of macaques at a field site, and while I never felt in danger really, in that situation you are definitely alert.
posted by biogeo at 8:25 PM on August 10 [2 favorites]

1v1 in unarmed combat. But what if I have a knife? Can it have a knife? A gun?
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 8:58 PM on August 10

So why has this become such a problem recently? Too many tourists feeding them?
posted by gottabefunky at 9:13 PM on August 10

The main problem with macaques is that they can carry Herpes B Simian, which is basically their equivalent of a cold sore.... cold sore to them, but horrifically, painfully, literally-brain-melting-in-your-skull lethal to humans. A bite or a scratch or fluids on your face is enough to infect you.

There's no vaccine. No treatment.

My teacher at zookeeper school instilled in us a real fear of this. We always checked the zoo's macaques of all species for any sign of mouth sores (easy enough because their threat display is coming up and opening their mouth at you). I see these people getting macaques all over them and it's like watching a petting zoo full of zombies.
posted by The otter lady at 10:03 PM on August 10 [12 favorites]

So why has this become such a problem recently? Too many tourists feeding them?

The article mentions a sudden growth in the population of the monkeys so it's unlikely to be only individual tourists' fault, although that will definitely contribute, especially if there are "banquets" put on as tourist displays.

With this kind of thing it's often a combination of factors like fewer predators, easier access to food from unsecured rubbish bins, fewer animals getting killed by people through either official culling or vigilante killings, less access to food from natural non human sources because of habitat destruction.

That's what's happening with the baboons in Cape Town, I don't know if this situation is similar.
posted by Zumbador at 10:39 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]

I visited the Batu Caves shrine about 25 years ago and their were tons of these exact monkeys in the immediate area. they were monkeying around but did not commit any crimes and I did not see any warning signs. maybe the crime wave is a more recent thing?

Just like crows, monkeys have different cultures and environmental motivations. Those are Malaysians; moreover they're KL monkeys (who are not actually known to be violent but maybe naughty when it comes to stealing food; could be number-related, could be other reasons). The monkeys with fierce reps in the region outside of the Thai ones here would be the Balinese ones and for Malaysia, the ones at the Penang Botanical Gardens.

TL;DR KL urban wildlife is trainer wheels compared to the rest in the region. Maybe because less stressed from interactions with tourists? (Locals have our norms) I mean, even Singaporean otters are known to attack westerners.
posted by cendawanita at 11:43 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]

Yeah, now that I think about it, tourism seems to be key - Malaysia for decades is a consistently overlooked international tourist destination, with the exception of Penang. It seems to follow then why the PBG monkeys are known to be scary even for us, matching the Balinese monkeys' rep.
posted by cendawanita at 11:49 PM on August 10 [1 favorite]

Those are Malaysians; moreover they're KL monkeys (who are not actually known to be violent but maybe naughty when it comes to stealing food; could be number-related, could be other reasons).

Back when I lived in Melaka, the monkeys in the botanical garden there would rob you if you blinked. I don't think they were violent, but they would definitely steal everything you had. Also every once in a while a brave monkey would venture into our subdivision and would rob houses of people who left windows open.
posted by Literaryhero at 2:53 AM on August 11 [2 favorites]

ACAB - All Cops Are Bananas 🍌
posted by funkaspuck at 5:17 AM on August 11 [1 favorite]

When we honeymooned in the Amazon in '89 we took a long trip up the Rio Negro to stay in a treetop lodge amidst the native peoples who lived in that region. Howlers were frequently in the trees around the lodge roving in large gangs worthy of their name. The lodge which was on stilts above the water and they would confront visitors and staff alike, often on the suspended walking bridges where on leapt at me and promptly stole a beer right from my hand. One morning, when I inadvertently left the screen door unhooked while showering in the adjacent outdoor shower, I walked back into our room naked to find one methodically rummaging through all my photo equipment I'd left out on the bed. When I yelled out, it quickly escaped with my wide angle lens. Later that week, one encountered us in the "lobby" open area and leapt into my arms and seemed suddenly affectionate and cuddly, so my wife wanted to catch a photo and I played along for a minute and then, just as she snapped a few frames, it shat the most disgusting, foul-smelling, multicolored shit all over the front of my shirt and scooted off into the trees. I can surely see how those gangs could go rogue and prove a more than worthy adversary for anyone hoping to control them.
posted by thecincinnatikid at 11:09 AM on August 11 [1 favorite]

Wow, thecincinnatikid—that sucks, losing a lens; I really feel for you.

This thread has reminded me of another simian close encounter, at the MacRitchie Reservoir in Singapore. We were there with our young son who was still in a buggy/pushchair, and as the weather was a bit rainy we had a plastic raincover clipped over it. While he was out of the buggy and walking with us to see the monkeys, one of them went over to it and took off the plastic cover and then scooted up a nearby tree. Cue several minutes of trying to get him to drop it... which he eventually did, but not before he'd given it a few good bites to see if it was edible. Back at home I was able to patch those up with clear packing tape, but they served as a reminder of our time in Singapore ever after.
posted by rory at 2:47 AM on August 12

> ... in a fight, 1lb of monkey is worth about 9lbs of human.

I could see this, where the human is a sedentary WEIRD person who has never practiced fighting. A well-conditioned athlete with some martial arts experience would be a different matter. 1v1 the monkey would get the shit kicked out of it: if the human wanted it dead it would die.

The problem is that it's not 1v1, and even a well-trained full-contact fighter would have difficulty with more than maybe 2 of them.
posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 8:20 AM on August 12

A well-conditioned athlete with some martial arts experience has still probably never faced an opponent who is less than 3 feet tall, has incredible grip strength with both hands and feet, and whose tactics are to grab onto you and take a big, toothy bite out of your face and/or genitals. I believe that kind of thing is frowned upon even in MMA.
posted by The otter lady at 11:24 AM on August 14 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: organized monkey crime
posted by Reverend John at 4:03 PM on August 14