This note on the fridge is to say

August 12, 2024 9:13 PM

Famous Poems Rewritten as Limericks From https://geekxgirls.com/ via misscellania
posted by Gorgik (52 comments total)

Two roads near some trees went both ways
I could only take one, sad to say
All alone in a wood
Wasted time while I stood
Paralyzed by the choices I weighed
posted by Gorgik at 9:13 PM on August 12 [6 favorites]

Double
posted by team lowkey at 9:22 PM on August 12

aw dammit
posted by Gorgik at 9:23 PM on August 12 [1 favorite]

There once was a traveler who told me
About ruins in the desert that showed the
Cruel face of a king
Thought he ruled everything
Now there’s nothing there left ‘bove two stone knees
posted by thecaddy at 9:27 PM on August 12 [6 favorites]

Double

Eh, that post has a dead link and anyway it's from 2007. Surely the statue of limitations has expired.
posted by axiom at 9:37 PM on August 12 [6 favorites]

This is way more my style of poetry. Especially the slept with your sister line.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:48 PM on August 12 [1 favorite]

there once was a land in waste
It's people cast sanguine haste
those diamonds made of paste
noughed down to rootish baste
Cast 12 stones, dueling trombones.
foggy lite bones, everynight baritone
something new, something faster, somewhere different
make four tones,

you must go faster
posted by clavdivs at 9:59 PM on August 12 [5 favorites]

Yes, I was joking (and trying to drive traffic to my contributions :)
posted by team lowkey at 10:00 PM on August 12 [1 favorite]

Also the statute, sigh.
posted by axiom at 10:05 PM on August 12 [1 favorite]

A wedding guest once met a bloke
Who of nautical escapades spoke
He seemed to be cross
'bout a dead albatross
This sailing game sure ain't no joke
posted by el_presidente at 11:10 PM on August 12 [9 favorites]

Rebel Satan got thrown into Hell,
Found Adam and Eve in a dell,
Got them eating bad fruits,
Out of Eden in suits,
But there’s Jesus, so all will be well.
posted by Phanx at 11:35 PM on August 12 [11 favorites]

Kubla Khan did decree to his crew:
"Build a pleasure-dome in Xanadu!"
He was all of a-quiver
Down by the sacred river
(I'll have some of what you're smoking, too)
posted by el_presidente at 12:04 AM on August 13 [18 favorites]

A traveller from an old place
Told me of a trashed statue's face
And some words to declare
"Look around and despair!"
But there's just sand and wide open space
posted by el_presidente at 12:12 AM on August 13 [12 favorites]

Fucked up by your parents you'll be
But you won't find it easy to see
That their lives were bad
Cos of their mum and dad
Get yourself a vasectomy
posted by el_presidente at 12:34 AM on August 13 [16 favorites]

I have eaten your fridge full of plums
I’m sorry, that was pretty dumb
Guess they were probably
For your morning tea
So sweet and so cold yum yum yum
posted by saturday_morning at 1:16 AM on August 13 [11 favorites]

A falcon spins round in the air
The centre is in disrepair
Mere anarchy's loose
But that's no excuse
A rough beast is awaiting your prayer
posted by el_presidente at 2:00 AM on August 13 [21 favorites]

I have a confession to make
Your plums, from the fridge, I did take
Were you holding them back
For your lunch? or a snack?
I apologise for my mistake
posted by el_presidente at 4:28 AM on August 13 [11 favorites]

The best minds of my colleagues were broken
by insanity, and things not spoken
such as whiskey, and gear
and sex, and the fear
of having to move to Hoboken
posted by el_presidente at 4:54 AM on August 13 [16 favorites]

lewd nantucket man
anatomickly gifted
an ouroboros
posted by logicpunk at 4:55 AM on August 13 [11 favorites]

There's a poem that's shaped like a 1
All about how the fall is no fun
A leaf falls from a tree
We watch it and see
That the poet, observing, is bummed
posted by Don Pepino at 6:05 AM on August 13 [3 favorites]

for Death, I'm too busy to stop
so His carriage pulls up, in I hop,
it's real cozy inside
as we take a slow ride
towards Eternity, clippety-clop
posted by daisystomper at 6:27 AM on August 13 [9 favorites]

Hey look out the window, I said,
and see that the wheelbarrow's red,
some white chickens are near,
the sky's turning clear,
I sure hope the kid isn't dead
posted by daisystomper at 6:30 AM on August 13 [5 favorites]

anyone donged out his ding
he did it through winter and spring
he lived in a town
with bells floating down
and lowercase-typed everything
posted by daisystomper at 6:36 AM on August 13 [5 favorites]

A giant squid dreamlessly sleeps
On a spongy bed down in the deeps
Awaiting the end
When his rise will portend
Calamari for everyone, cheaps!
posted by notoriety public at 7:05 AM on August 13 [5 favorites]

I gotta pick one road, but which?
Guess I'll go with the less-used sumbitch.
The years roll on by
Till I look back and sigh.
Dammit, that's why I never got rich!
posted by Redstart at 7:53 AM on August 13 [5 favorites]

Our hero is shown around Hell
By Virgil; it doesn't go well
There's specific sin-levels
Run by demons and devils
And a rather strong sulphurous smell
posted by el_presidente at 7:54 AM on August 13 [9 favorites]

I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect execution of this concept than Abiezer's in the old thread.
posted by tzikeh at 8:18 AM on August 13 [3 favorites]

When some panic, if you keep your head
Lost a wager? Well don't shit the bed
Some waiting, no hating
Good skills at debating
You're a man then, or so it is said
posted by el_presidente at 10:13 AM on August 13 [3 favorites]

My abs oh my poor aching abs
aaahahahahaha

APPLAUSE
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 10:23 AM on August 13 [2 favorites]

That tiger is scary as shit.
Did the same guy who made lambs make it?
Seeing God as the one
Who made tigers for fun
Makes me question his motives a bit.
posted by Redstart at 10:58 AM on August 13 [14 favorites]

The afternoon tennis match won
Then a cold lime-and-gin in the sun
a Camberley dance
a romantic advance
An engagement for Miss Hunter-Dunn
posted by el_presidente at 11:14 AM on August 13 [1 favorite]

.
posted by el_presidente at 11:18 AM on August 13 [1 favorite]

Nude beast in the desert did sit
Held his heart in his hands and had bit
"It tastes bad, I confess.
But it's mine nonetheless,
So I'm glad to be eating of it."
posted by 7ajax7 at 11:37 AM on August 13 [4 favorites]

Ten gents felt it would be a lark
To head out and find them a Snark
But what should appear
But a boojum (oh dear!)
(The end of the story's quite dark)
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 12:06 PM on August 13 [5 favorites]

There are some real gems in that old thread. Best of MeFi.
posted by prefpara at 12:34 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]

Things fall apart. Centres won't stay
The falcon has fluttered away
The wise are too quiet
The stupid will riot
And now there's a beast, did you say?
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 12:57 PM on August 13 [7 favorites]

What should I be doing all day?
Should I kneel in the grass? Should I pray?
I think that it's best
To be idle and blessed
With this wild, precious life: so I say.
posted by daisystomper at 1:39 PM on August 13 [7 favorites]

I came in here looking for The Little Red Wheelbarrow because class starts tomorrow and we have to have something literary to do! I might make them write limericks because we were going to talk about that poem anyway! Thank you dailystomper!

Any other attempts at that one are more than welcome!
posted by Snowishberlin at 2:12 PM on August 13

Repost from the previous thread:

There once was a wheelbarrow red
Upon which so much did depend.
With water it glistened
Beside the white chickens.
I guess that means something. The end.
posted by team lowkey at 2:30 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]

There once was a dude from Cape Cod
Whose lovers all said, “Oh my god!”
His magnificent form
A strange act, it performed
There’s a crick in his neck and his bod.
posted by Night_owl at 4:31 PM on August 13 [1 favorite]

Yeah, it's red and it's wet, with one wheel.
Is there some way you want me to feel?
I see the white chickens.
They're white as the dickens.
But how come this is such a big deal?
posted by Redstart at 5:15 PM on August 13 [2 favorites]

Life is short, but the kids do not know.
And life's joys are all matched by its woes.
But as realtors say,
Sell potential! And pray
They might fix this world before we go.
posted by pernoctalian at 5:56 PM on August 13

how come this is such a big deal?

It's that rainwater glaze--it's the shit!
If your wheelbarrow is not thus lit,
though your chickens be white as
the most bleached-out detritus
still, not much depends upon it.
posted by Don Pepino at 6:01 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]

A chef in deep water was frowning
At critique from those out-of-towning
She spoke 'fore she died
Angrily clarified
It's not chafing but browning!
posted by desert_oracle at 6:15 PM on August 13

Check out all the gods on this pot!
So immortal, it gives me the thought
That all truth is beauty;
but especially the booty
of this ancient Greek maiden, so hot
posted by daisystomper at 8:56 PM on August 13 [7 favorites]

Dear pet crematorium, that
Is not poetry from my dead cat.
The lines barely scan,
It's in Comic Sans,
And implies that it's her I begat.
posted by pernoctalian at 7:32 AM on August 14 [2 favorites]

My sad-heightened father is crying.
Gravely and near death he's lying.
Though the good night is gentle
We should not give in 'til
We've raged against all the light dying.
posted by quintessence at 1:00 PM on August 14

I one spent some time by a lake
A clay cottage there I did make
There were bees and beans
And crickets that sing
Leaving there was a mistake
posted by thivaia at 6:26 PM on August 14

She went and prayed in a dark wood at night
Behind an oak tree there was some lady in white
They lay naked in slumber
While dogs and torches did a number
And then it gets a bit weird and ends early, amirite?
posted by hrpomrx at 3:41 PM on August 15

My dear Romeo why must it be
That thy name merits mine enmity?
A rose smells just the same
If you strip off its name,
So, fair Romeo, do so for me.
posted by gelfin at 6:58 PM on August 15 [1 favorite]

Cow is my name, it is said,
I live by the food storage shed,
When the sun goes away
And the men hit the hay
Up late I stay to lik the bred.
posted by ejs at 7:04 PM on August 15 [1 favorite]

Should I be or should I cease to be?
Who would fight, not sleep eternally?
But the dreams might be worse,
So we weather the curse,
And abandon intention to flee.
posted by gelfin at 7:31 PM on August 15