Who knows the reason? We have to ask the dolphins.
August 16, 2024 11:07 AM Subscribe
In Wakasa Bay, 200 miles west of Tokyo and 150 miles north of Taiji Bay, dolphins have attacked at least 47 people since 2022. Some marine experts think it might just be a single lonely and possibly horny cetacean.
Dr. Jake Terrell: Alpha, listen to Pa.
Alpha: Pha loves Pa.
Dr. Jake Terrell: Yes, Pa knows. Listen, Alpha. Some men will come here, men who are not good. Pha and B must go.
Alpha: Pha stays with Pa.
Dr. Jake Terrell: No. Pha and B go now.
Alpha: Pa not love Pha.
Margaret 'Maggie' Terrell: Yes. Pa loves Pha, and B. Ma loves Pha and B.
Alpha: Pha loves Ma.
Curtis Mahoney: Everybody loves everybody! Now for Christ's sake, let's get the hell out of here!
posted by doctornemo at 12:45 PM on August 16 [1 favorite]
Alpha: Pha loves Pa.
Dr. Jake Terrell: Yes, Pa knows. Listen, Alpha. Some men will come here, men who are not good. Pha and B must go.
Alpha: Pha stays with Pa.
Dr. Jake Terrell: No. Pha and B go now.
Alpha: Pa not love Pha.
Margaret 'Maggie' Terrell: Yes. Pa loves Pha, and B. Ma loves Pha and B.
Alpha: Pha loves Ma.
Curtis Mahoney: Everybody loves everybody! Now for Christ's sake, let's get the hell out of here!
posted by doctornemo at 12:45 PM on August 16 [1 favorite]
Well, stay out of the ocean. The ocean is not where humans go. Where humans go, destruction follows. Remain in your homes.
posted by GoblinHoney at 1:01 PM on August 16 [2 favorites]
posted by GoblinHoney at 1:01 PM on August 16 [2 favorites]
doctornemo (heh! appropriate!) I'm old enough that I hear this conversation in my head. (Kids: Day of the Dolphin. You're welcome.)
posted by SPrintF at 2:07 PM on August 16 [1 favorite]
posted by SPrintF at 2:07 PM on August 16 [1 favorite]
I know this is a serious story because people have been hurt, but I can't stop laughing every time I see the BEWARE OF DOLPHINS poster.
Even if you are a MeFite who disdains clicking on the links, the dolphin poster is worth it.
posted by betweenthebars at 2:22 PM on August 16 [1 favorite]
Even if you are a MeFite who disdains clicking on the links, the dolphin poster is worth it.
posted by betweenthebars at 2:22 PM on August 16 [1 favorite]
🦕🦀🎉 FUKUI ACKNOWLEDGED 🍾👓🦖
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:54 PM on August 16 [2 favorites]
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:54 PM on August 16 [2 favorites]
Anyone who's read John Scalzi's Starter Villain knows you should be wary of dolphins.
posted by fregoli at 8:03 AM on August 17
posted by fregoli at 8:03 AM on August 17
Cheers, SPrintF!
posted by doctornemo at 6:10 PM on August 17
posted by doctornemo at 6:10 PM on August 17
'Write by WASTE,' she said, 'remember. The government will open it if you use the other. The dolphins will be mad.' 'I love you, ma,' he said. 'Love the dolphins,' she advised him. 'Write by WASTE.' --Thomas Pynchon
posted by chavenet at 11:31 AM on August 18
posted by chavenet at 11:31 AM on August 18
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posted by thomcatspike at 12:42 PM on August 20
posted by thomcatspike at 12:42 PM on August 20
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posted by adamrice at 11:25 AM on August 16 [5 favorites]