“A New Century Dawns! McKinley Ushers in Bold New ‘Coal Age’.

August 18, 2024 11:11 PM

The Onion has put the entirety of its classic book Our Dumb Century online as part of its website redesign. For the unfamiliar, Our Dumb Century was a collection of fake Onion front pages from the 20th Century, with headlines such as “World’s Largest Metaphor Hits Iceberg”, “Feds Gun Down Nixon Outside Arizona Motel”, “Drugs Win Drug War”, and, of course, “WA- (headline continued on page 2)”.
posted by Kattullus (32 comments total)

I loved Our Dumb Century as a kid. It hit on all the things I found funny. You could laugh at a lot of the headlines, but they generally put really good context into the smaller type, and you could find a lot of easter eggs ones you actually learned more about a period.
posted by Carillon at 11:42 PM on August 18 [11 favorites]

Thanks for posting this, Kattullus, I had this at one point and 'Holy Shit Man Walks On Fucking Moon' will never not be funny to this person who is just old enough to remember that event.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 12:10 AM on August 19 [23 favorites]

Still got my print copy.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 12:12 AM on August 19 [17 favorites]

"SINATRA TELLS RUSSKIES TO KNOCK IT OFF: Cut this Commie Bunk or It's Ring-a-Ding-Ding for You Bozos"
posted by gimonca at 4:05 AM on August 19 [17 favorites]

I was close!
posted by gimonca at 4:07 AM on August 19 [2 favorites]

When I was in high school I rather selfishly gave this to my mom for Christmas or her birthday or the like, but The Onion isn't exactly her cup of tea, so she flipped through it for a few minutes. Later, I sort of commandeered it as my own. I doubt she's read it since.
posted by zardoz at 4:14 AM on August 19 [5 favorites]

Archduke Franz Ferdinand: No Man Can Stop Me!
posted by Huggiesbear at 4:53 AM on August 19 [5 favorites]

WA-
(headline continued on page 2)
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 5:40 AM on August 19 [4 favorites]

Top Five Headlines. I'll accept no counterarguments.

5. Einstein Proposes Theory of 'Sell-a-tivity'
4. President Harding Dies Several Months Ago
3. Nation's Businessmen Search For Ways To Tell Each Other Apart: Are Differently Colored Ties The Answer?
2. Henley, Frey Urge Nation to Take It Easy

And the number one headline:

1. Drugs Win Drug War
posted by fortitude25 at 5:49 AM on August 19 [10 favorites]

I was close!

It's the line "Calls Soviet Premier A 'World-Class Knucklehead'" that does it for me.
posted by fortitude25 at 5:51 AM on August 19 [2 favorites]

When I moved into my freshman year suite 25 years ago, the first thing I did was take the bus out to the Kinko’s and use the plotters to make big-ass posters of “Drugs Win Drug War” and “Man Lands on Fucking Moon.”

I also made a quick speech about how what I was doing was covered under fair use, which in retrospect (a) it probably wasn’t but (b) the employees obviously could not have cared less.
posted by thecaddy at 5:53 AM on August 19 [6 favorites]

someone in Chicago just posted a new release physical (printed PAPER!) copy of The Onion, in front of the DEM Convention.

Is the timeline is being restored?
posted by djseafood at 5:58 AM on August 19 [4 favorites]

djseafood: Yep!
posted by May Kasahara at 6:03 AM on August 19 [3 favorites]

Is the timeline is being restored?
yes [boingboing]
posted by HearHere at 6:03 AM on August 19

May Kasahara, jinx :) [wiki] free
posted by HearHere at 6:05 AM on August 19

Best of the smaller headlines is:

Boy bitten by radioactive spider dies of leukemia
posted by YoungStencil at 6:34 AM on August 19 [9 favorites]

HearHere: Heh, I just had to share the news. I never subscribed to something so fast in my life.
posted by May Kasahara at 6:50 AM on August 19 [3 favorites]

I’ve always been partial to Mickey Spillane Treats Wise Guy to a Little Chin Music.
posted by Aznable at 6:51 AM on August 19 [4 favorites]

"HOLY SHIT MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON"

"Neil Armstrong's historic first words on Moon: 'Holy living fuck'"
posted by adoarns at 7:03 AM on August 19 [6 favorites]

When I first was introduced to The Onion as a newly arrived foreign grad student in Madison in the early 90s, I did not realize it was satire. Especially since the AV Club was all real. That was till I saw the headline where the two Governor candidates both declared their amorous love for the resident Gorilla at the Vilas Zoo!

It was such a big part of my introduction to the history of zaniness of Madison, like filling the lawn in front of Bascom Hall with plastic flamingos and the like.
posted by indianbadger1 at 7:29 AM on August 19 [9 favorites]

To add to this: I am sad that the AV Club is no longer a part of the Onion offering as it was split off as a separate unit.
posted by indianbadger1 at 7:41 AM on August 19 [2 favorites]

It wasn't in the book, but the Onion headline that still lives in my head is "Drinking Dog Urine Cures Cancer Say Snickering Scientists"
posted by solotoro at 7:45 AM on August 19 [8 favorites]

I loved the little ongoing stories and themes that continued throughout the book. For example you get the entire story of characters from "It's a Wonderful Life" from Mr.Potter paying 50 cents on the dollar for land to the Baily's losing everything in the savings and loans scandal in the 80's.
posted by charred husk at 7:57 AM on August 19 [2 favorites]

One of my all time faves from ODC:

Head Deadhead Dead
posted by Sphinx at 8:07 AM on August 19 [8 favorites]

I to have this book although it isn't in great shape. It still stands as a highlight of their output.

Of all the artifacts of the early Internet, The Onion has held up nearly the best.
posted by JHarris at 11:55 AM on August 19 [2 favorites]

YESSSS. I lost my copy in a move.
posted by greenland at 1:15 PM on August 19 [1 favorite]

"HOLY SHIT MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON"

"Neil Armstrong's historic first words on Moon: 'Holy living fuck'"

Where I first learned the phrase "Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket" which I deploy to this day.
posted by stevis23 at 1:32 PM on August 19 [2 favorites]

Of all the artifacts of the early Internet, The Onion has held up nearly the best.

Being under the helm of Ben Collins has breathed new life into The Onion, as we see with them getting the "Sickos" political cartoon into the New York Times.
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:36 PM on August 19 [5 favorites]

Anthropomorphic Mouse in Short Pants Calls for Increased Litigation
posted by non canadian guy at 5:05 PM on August 19 [4 favorites]

i have long held that our dumb century is densest humor book ever. it’s got more laughs per page than anything ever published.
posted by bruceo at 5:08 PM on August 19 [5 favorites]

It's the Infinite Jest of books people read.
posted by pattern juggler at 9:00 AM on August 20 [1 favorite]

I have dim but fond memories of the audiobook version being a good adaptation of a medium-bound work -- they go all-in on making it a radio show instead, old-timey mid-Atlantic accents and all.
posted by dick dale the vampire at 4:28 PM on August 20 [2 favorites]