What should you do if you're attacked by a kangaroo?

September 5, 2024 10:50 AM

What should you do if you're attacked by a kangaroo? The answer might surprise you. A woman who came face-to-face with an aggressive kangaroo while on a run in Victoria, and a passer-by who came to help her, spent 40 frightening minutes trying to escape. So how should you deal with an angry roo? Wildlife carers share some tips.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries (20 comments total)

A chariot pulled by cassowaries giving advice about what to do if you're attacked by kangaroos suggests the possibility of a Mad-Max/Zootopia crossover I had not previously considered.
posted by mhoye at 10:57 AM on September 5 [22 favorites]

I like how the advice is "lie on your stomach" and "curl into a ball," which, unless your anatomy is significantly different than mine, are mutually exclusive postures.
posted by mittens at 11:05 AM on September 5 [2 favorites]

Finally my level of fighting skills become useful. I hope crying and saying “I’m sorry” also help.
posted by The River Ivel at 11:30 AM on September 5 [5 favorites]

first make sure it's not just a king-sized (and exuberant) mouse.
posted by philip-random at 12:11 PM on September 5 [4 favorites]

I mean, my basic approach to life itself is to curl up into a ball and scream, so I guess I'm well-prepared to take on a kangaroo.
posted by briank at 12:35 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]

This is important information. Especially based on some of the FailArmy videos I've seen. (This guy deserved worse from that 'roo.)
posted by amanda at 12:37 PM on September 5

"This was a one-in-one-thousand incident, when you think of how many interactions we have with kangaroos and how we encroach on their habitat," she said.

not nearly rare enough to be a reassuring statistic
posted by Caxton1476 at 1:17 PM on September 5 [2 favorites]

In all sincerity, Kangaroos are the scariest animal I've ever encountered in the wild.
posted by dobbs at 1:27 PM on September 5 [1 favorite]

I spent a few stoned minutes in a zoo some years ago watching a few fully grown ones wander around. Yes. Scary. Basically, man-sized rats.
posted by philip-random at 2:46 PM on September 5

It wouldn't normally occur to me that kangaroos could be dangerous because they aren't predators but any animal that's large enough can cause you serious injury if they feel like it. We're just lucky that most of the time they don't.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:01 PM on September 5

Given the continent I live on, if a Kangaroo comes for me I will just assume God has had enough of my bullshit and accept my fate.
posted by pattern juggler at 5:16 PM on September 5 [9 favorites]

It wouldn't normally occur to me that kangaroos could be dangerous because they aren't predators

This is a really dangerous way to think in general, just fyi. Some of the most dangerous and hostile animals on earth are herbivores! Not just kangaroos—hippos are WAY up there on the "extremely nasty disposition and easily able to kill you" scale, and wild cattle of all sorts (bison, yaks, etc) will also happily fuck you up just because they don't like your face.
posted by adrienneleigh at 5:51 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]

Also moose.

Needs more information on how to avoid getting into a one-on-one with a kangaroo in the first place. The only winning move is not to play.
posted by nat at 6:47 PM on September 5 [4 favorites]

Needs more information on how to avoid getting into a one-on-one with a kangaroo in the first place. The only winning move is not to play.

Most of the times kangaroos are physically aggressive to humans start like this

1. human is walking a dog. The dog is either off leash or on a long leash.

2. the dog chases the kangaroo.

3. the kangaroo feels threatened [this is an animal who, for thousands of years, has had dingoes as its main predator], and attacks the dog, defending itself.

4. the human goes "oh shit, my poor dog!" and gets in between the kangaroo and the dog.

5. now the kangaroo is attacking the human.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 8:46 PM on September 5 [2 favorites]

Needs more information on how to avoid getting into a one-on-one with a kangaroo in the first place

If you're on a motorbike and you see kangaroos, slow down to walking speed. I am not even slightly joking
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:42 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]

It wouldn't normally occur to me that kangaroos could be dangerous because they aren't predators

Hippos.
Rhinos.
Elephants.
Giraffe.
Moose.
Bison.

Large herbivores can pack a big wallop if they slam their body into you, or kick you, or trample you.

A woman who worked in giraffe conservation was walking home along the side of the road at twilight when a female giraffe, which was on high alert because it had its baby with it, trampled the woman and her toddler, with life-ending injuries for the woman and life-changing injuries for the toddler.

Having said that, kangaroos will ALMOST ALWAYS leave you alone if you don't hassle them or crowd them.

Most human vs kangaroo incidents are

1. a dog chased the kangaroo, the human defended the dog.

2. male kangaroos being territorial in breeding season.

3. kangaroos that have been raised as pets/in captivity.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:10 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]

The other reason for human vs kangaroo incidents?

Humans have been feeding kangaroos,

and the kangaroos get used to it,

and get aggressive when they approach humans for food, and the humans don't have any food, or won't give it to them.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:32 PM on September 5 [3 favorites]

I'm hoping my plan to never visit Australia will make this information superfluous.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 12:08 AM on September 6 [1 favorite]

Pepsi ... red?
posted by now i'm piste at 6:15 AM on September 6

Unlikely as it is to happen in suburban South London, I shall make a note of this.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 8:58 AM on September 6