What is more humiliating: talking about pain, or talking about pleasure?

September 5, 2024 11:49 AM

I had never cried so much. Nor had I ever masturbated so much, with such regularity, with so much calm, so much enjoyment. I expelled an excess of tears because thinking about plural love, parenting, or solitary pleasure sometimes leads us to imagine scenes we had never imagined for ourselves. Because thinking about your present wellbeing also means rethinking past humiliation — ‘your silence will not protect you’, wrote Audre Lorde, who understood a speech act not only as a shout in public but also a whisper in the ears of the right people. And because preparing the body for the greatest sentimental adventure of all — the one that involves loving yourself — also involves care, warmth, generosity, understanding, and transparency. It’s something that goes beyond anxiety. Beyond the nervous work of writing or confession. from Hot by Luna Miguel [The Dial] [NSFW language]
posted by chavenet (2 comments total)

I read the whole piece am waiting for someone to start the conversation so I can be enlightened. I feel like I have no context.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 5:55 PM on September 5 [1 favorite]

I didn't really know what to expect going in, but that was unexpectedly moving (and historically informative!) about a topic we just are never going to be able to talk about without jokes and/or huffiness. We have an easier time talking about going to the bathroom, than this. We are all the inheritors of those creepy marital manuals and the little boys who use desperate jokes to cover up their own fear.
posted by mittens at 7:01 AM on September 6 [2 favorites]