Who's that looking through my window?
October 22, 2024 7:35 AM Subscribe
Who's that standing on my lawn?
Who's that fellow with the LCD eyes?
A 12-foot Home Depot Skeleton!
(A song from Louie Zong and Kitsch Club.)
I can't find room in my budget,
I can't find room in my home.
But I got so much room in my heart,
and I want those bones for my own!
Home Depot 12-foot skeleton
(12-foot skeleton)
Thousands of people agree
(They all a-gree)
Home Depot 12-foot skeleton
(12-foot skeleton)
It's time for you and me, to get a
Home Depot 12-foot skeleton
Let's let the big bone man free
Who's that fellow with the LCD eyes?
A 12-foot Home Depot Skeleton!
(A song from Louie Zong and Kitsch Club.)
I can't find room in my budget,
I can't find room in my home.
But I got so much room in my heart,
and I want those bones for my own!
Home Depot 12-foot skeleton
(12-foot skeleton)
Thousands of people agree
(They all a-gree)
Home Depot 12-foot skeleton
(12-foot skeleton)
It's time for you and me, to get a
Home Depot 12-foot skeleton
Let's let the big bone man free
Aide to Frederick William I: sire, your giant breeding program has been a tremendous success! Shall I outfit them for the infantry?
Frederick William I: No, no, throw them in the oubliette. We're playing the long game.
posted by phooky at 8:07 AM on October 22 [8 favorites]
Frederick William I: No, no, throw them in the oubliette. We're playing the long game.
posted by phooky at 8:07 AM on October 22 [8 favorites]
There's a house in our neighborhood that had _four_ of these in front of their house for two years running, and it was pretty great seeing those giants taking up the skyline in a really short and quiet residential street.
Because the street gets almost no traffic, I often wondered how many people actually got to see them. They seem like a public good (provided by the homeowners out of crazy kindness.)
posted by of strange foe at 8:13 AM on October 22 [4 favorites]
Because the street gets almost no traffic, I often wondered how many people actually got to see them. They seem like a public good (provided by the homeowners out of crazy kindness.)
posted by of strange foe at 8:13 AM on October 22 [4 favorites]
I think there's an explosion of giants this year. Down the street from me is a 20 ft blow-up Frankenstein (cartoony rather than spooky). Ebay example
I also drove by a giant Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Skellington leering over a fence that was pretty cool. Might have been this 13 ft Home Depot one
posted by Glinn at 8:29 AM on October 22 [2 favorites]
I also drove by a giant Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Skellington leering over a fence that was pretty cool. Might have been this 13 ft Home Depot one
posted by Glinn at 8:29 AM on October 22 [2 favorites]
Have not had a chance to get one, and it's kind of a personal tragedy.
posted by theora55 at 8:51 AM on October 22 [2 favorites]
posted by theora55 at 8:51 AM on October 22 [2 favorites]
From BlueSky:
imagine being the CEO of spirit halloween. you only work a single month a year and you make 10 billion dollars. your only job is sell skeleton. life is good.posted by The Bellman at 9:03 AM on October 22 [6 favorites]
and then some FUCKER from *Home Depot* says “let’s make one taller than god.”
An Oral History of Home Depot’s 12-Foot Skeleton
posted by 1970s Antihero at 9:10 AM on October 22 [4 favorites]
posted by 1970s Antihero at 9:10 AM on October 22 [4 favorites]
I had actually wondered if other folks were writing about the HD skeletons, because I find them such fruitful material. Wrote the first poem I've written in several years about one I'd been seeing for almost a year during my work commute.
Seasonally (In)Appropriate Ghazal
That unremarkable house and yard, home of the twelve-foot skeleton,
I see every day as I drive to work: lawn overgrown, the twelve-foot skeleton—
and Halloween long past. Sometimes it’s decked out for other holidays:
Christmas lights twinkled and shone through the twelve-foot skeleton’s
rib cage, a St. Patrick’s Day kilt for some reason, Uncle Sam’s
hat cocked on the bony dome of the twelve-foot skeleton.
I don’t find it scary. Much less so than Trump signs down the road—
ghoulish, obnoxious, more overblown than a twelve-foot skeleton.
Are these folks overcompensating? Do they feel small? Why not
a flirty flamingo or kitschy lawn gnome, but a twelve-foot skeleton?
And how do they get there? How does someone decide that THIS
is their thing, that they will be KNOWN for their twelve-foot skeleton?
For one thing, they’ve got the right house—set back, lots of trees,
no nosey neighbors to pick a bone with a twelve-foot skeleton,
no fascist homeowner’s group to police grass height
and paint colors. They’d never condone a twelve-foot skeleton.
Still, people will talk, and maybe that’s it—fame in gossip
and memory (some fool writes a poem on the twelve-foot skeleton).
So there it is, and each day I think of those people, audacious,
quirky but cozy: You’re never alone with a twelve-foot skeleton.
And yes—I admit it—my wife wants one, and people who live
in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones at a twelve-foot skeleton.
I can hear our neighbors now: Oh yeah, that’s just the Martineaus,
up on the hill, those old crones, with their twelve-foot skeleton.
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:19 AM on October 22 [8 favorites]
Seasonally (In)Appropriate Ghazal
That unremarkable house and yard, home of the twelve-foot skeleton,
I see every day as I drive to work: lawn overgrown, the twelve-foot skeleton—
and Halloween long past. Sometimes it’s decked out for other holidays:
Christmas lights twinkled and shone through the twelve-foot skeleton’s
rib cage, a St. Patrick’s Day kilt for some reason, Uncle Sam’s
hat cocked on the bony dome of the twelve-foot skeleton.
I don’t find it scary. Much less so than Trump signs down the road—
ghoulish, obnoxious, more overblown than a twelve-foot skeleton.
Are these folks overcompensating? Do they feel small? Why not
a flirty flamingo or kitschy lawn gnome, but a twelve-foot skeleton?
And how do they get there? How does someone decide that THIS
is their thing, that they will be KNOWN for their twelve-foot skeleton?
For one thing, they’ve got the right house—set back, lots of trees,
no nosey neighbors to pick a bone with a twelve-foot skeleton,
no fascist homeowner’s group to police grass height
and paint colors. They’d never condone a twelve-foot skeleton.
Still, people will talk, and maybe that’s it—fame in gossip
and memory (some fool writes a poem on the twelve-foot skeleton).
So there it is, and each day I think of those people, audacious,
quirky but cozy: You’re never alone with a twelve-foot skeleton.
And yes—I admit it—my wife wants one, and people who live
in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones at a twelve-foot skeleton.
I can hear our neighbors now: Oh yeah, that’s just the Martineaus,
up on the hill, those old crones, with their twelve-foot skeleton.
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:19 AM on October 22 [8 favorites]
I desperately want one but a friend of ours who does have one says that they are much more of a PITA to put up and take down than you think. I mean, that hasn't quelled my desire but with my executives dysfunctioning all the time, the 12 foot skeleton would just be a permanent part of my outdoor decor, most likely.
posted by Kitteh at 9:22 AM on October 22 [3 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 9:22 AM on October 22 [3 favorites]
Since no one else has linked to it yet, here's an artist who turned her's into a 12-foot Disco Ball Skeleton, which is both absolutely amazing and clearly a crazy amount of work. (There is a longer version of the video, which shows what a pain it is just setting the things up).
posted by Dorothea Ladislaw at 10:01 AM on October 22 [8 favorites]
posted by Dorothea Ladislaw at 10:01 AM on October 22 [8 favorites]
they are much more of a PITA to put up and take down than you think
There is only one solution, which is year-round giant skeleton. They aren't that hard to move around without disassembling, but it likely requires two people. My giant bone golem hangs in the back yard in the off season, occasionally getting a giant santa hat as it leers over the neighborhood walking paths.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:09 AM on October 22 [6 favorites]
There is only one solution, which is year-round giant skeleton. They aren't that hard to move around without disassembling, but it likely requires two people. My giant bone golem hangs in the back yard in the off season, occasionally getting a giant santa hat as it leers over the neighborhood walking paths.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:09 AM on October 22 [6 favorites]
Lovely poem, dlugoczaj.
Unfortunately, because my brain is lacking caffeine, I reinterpreted: Why not
a flirty flamingo or kitschy lawn gnome, but a twelve-foot skeleton? to somehow suggest that we should all have twelve-foot flamingos. Or even flamingo skeletons.
Dear sweet Phoenicopterus roseus, I WANT ONE!
Because Americans just have to have everything enbiggened.
posted by BlueHorse at 10:14 AM on October 22 [1 favorite]
Unfortunately, because my brain is lacking caffeine, I reinterpreted: Why not
a flirty flamingo or kitschy lawn gnome, but a twelve-foot skeleton? to somehow suggest that we should all have twelve-foot flamingos. Or even flamingo skeletons.
Dear sweet Phoenicopterus roseus, I WANT ONE!
Because Americans just have to have everything enbiggened.
posted by BlueHorse at 10:14 AM on October 22 [1 favorite]
Dear sweet Phoenicopterus roseus, I WANT ONE!
Ever go to Tampa Airport?
posted by dlugoczaj at 10:19 AM on October 22 [1 favorite]
Ever go to Tampa Airport?
posted by dlugoczaj at 10:19 AM on October 22 [1 favorite]
I just got one this year and I have to say it is AWESOME! Every time I see the back of her head out of a 2nd story bedroom window it tickles me. Though, Skelly does look a bit lonely standing there in the yard, since we don't have many other decorations. I think maybe she needs a giant skeleton dog. My daughters love her (yes, they are certain she is female).
It was not too hard to assemble! You need a second person for about 10 minutes worth of the ~1hr it'll probably take. I don't know where TF I'm going to store it, but I don't think I have the fortitude to get outfits for her year-round. Though, a 12' leprechaun for St. Patrick's Day would be a lot of fun.
posted by hovey at 11:25 AM on October 22 [2 favorites]
It was not too hard to assemble! You need a second person for about 10 minutes worth of the ~1hr it'll probably take. I don't know where TF I'm going to store it, but I don't think I have the fortitude to get outfits for her year-round. Though, a 12' leprechaun for St. Patrick's Day would be a lot of fun.
posted by hovey at 11:25 AM on October 22 [2 favorites]
There's a house by Gabrial Park in Portland that just keeps 4 of them up all year. It's kind of awesome
posted by Dr. Twist at 11:40 AM on October 22 [4 favorites]
posted by Dr. Twist at 11:40 AM on October 22 [4 favorites]
My giant bone golem hangs in the back yard in the off season, occasionally getting a giant santa hat as it leers over the neighborhood walking paths.
Our neighbors keep adding to their menagerie of jumbo-sized geists, reaching four last Halloween. This also must have triggered the (very understandable) sentiment of "welp, it's way too much work to take these down in November and put them back up next fall," so the skeletons have become all-season decorations. I was especially pleased with this summer's motif, which included larger-than-life bathing suits and inflatable pool rings for the entire skeletal family.
posted by Mayor West at 12:04 PM on October 22 [3 favorites]
Our neighbors keep adding to their menagerie of jumbo-sized geists, reaching four last Halloween. This also must have triggered the (very understandable) sentiment of "welp, it's way too much work to take these down in November and put them back up next fall," so the skeletons have become all-season decorations. I was especially pleased with this summer's motif, which included larger-than-life bathing suits and inflatable pool rings for the entire skeletal family.
posted by Mayor West at 12:04 PM on October 22 [3 favorites]
Or even flamingo skeletons.
Flamingo skeletons, you say?
(unfortunately they're not 12ft tall)
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:23 PM on October 22 [2 favorites]
Flamingo skeletons, you say?
(unfortunately they're not 12ft tall)
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:23 PM on October 22 [2 favorites]
dlugoczaj, that is so cool!
If the Tampa Airport flamingo disappears, it wasn't me!
Really, it wasn't. No. Not at all. Don't look over the fence. Stay out of my backyard!
posted by BlueHorse at 12:45 PM on October 22 [2 favorites]
If the Tampa Airport flamingo disappears, it wasn't me!
Really, it wasn't. No. Not at all. Don't look over the fence. Stay out of my backyard!
posted by BlueHorse at 12:45 PM on October 22 [2 favorites]
One of these years, I need to borrow one of these giant skeletons from someone and set it up in a crouch/attack position just outside my kid's bedroom on April Fool's Day.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:15 PM on October 22 [2 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:15 PM on October 22 [2 favorites]
The 30-60ft tall blowups in rich neighborhoods trump the 12 ft skeletons! Thankfully Home Depot doesn't sell those yet, even though they are not that much more expensive than than wild anamatronics they do sell.
Lots of people do leave them up, at least through Christmas. Put a santa hat on there - now it's festive.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:50 PM on October 22
Lots of people do leave them up, at least through Christmas. Put a santa hat on there - now it's festive.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:50 PM on October 22
this is cool. slightly tangentical but everybody remembers those Christmas lights from the '60s and '70s with the bulbs the size of your thumb well I found a 10-ft string of the Halloween lights,the bulbs are black orange and green and it works but I'm afraid to plug it in for any extended period.
I think these things are older than me.
posted by clavdivs at 2:12 PM on October 22 [4 favorites]
I think these things are older than me.
posted by clavdivs at 2:12 PM on October 22 [4 favorites]
Steve (the blingtastic skeleton) is awesome. Needs disco music. Needs animated head slide. Don't install near an airport.
Phoebe the Tampa Airport flamingo (21 foot up to the ceiling, I guess) is also awesome. She looks wise.
I'm here for the giant cat skeletons. Have not heard back yet, but I'm hopeful.
posted by TrishaU at 8:33 PM on October 22
Phoebe the Tampa Airport flamingo (21 foot up to the ceiling, I guess) is also awesome. She looks wise.
I'm here for the giant cat skeletons. Have not heard back yet, but I'm hopeful.
posted by TrishaU at 8:33 PM on October 22
On the one hand, skeletons are unattractive and I have nowhere to put large lawn displays. On the other hand, people are getting SO creative with the skeletons that I almost want to get some? They'd have to be like, rainbow or sparkly or something, though.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:21 AM on October 23
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:21 AM on October 23
Sparkle skeletons! That's an awesome idea.
I'd be surprised if someone doesn't eventually start a little business making seasonal outfits for 12-foot skeletons. Maybe call them XXXXXL.
posted by JHarris at 9:43 AM on October 23
I'd be surprised if someone doesn't eventually start a little business making seasonal outfits for 12-foot skeletons. Maybe call them XXXXXL.
posted by JHarris at 9:43 AM on October 23
Someone suggested I do that yesterday.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:00 AM on October 23 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:00 AM on October 23 [1 favorite]
I'd be surprised if someone doesn't eventually start a little business making seasonal outfits for 12-foot skeletons. Maybe call them XXXXXL.
Perhaps a special section in Big&Tall stores...
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:40 AM on October 23 [1 favorite]
Perhaps a special section in Big&Tall stores...
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:40 AM on October 23 [1 favorite]
Someone made a bed sheet into a dress for a 12 foot tall Chappell Bone[Instagram], and they were
interviewed on CBC radio[6m25s CBC].
posted by ecco at 6:30 AM on October 24
interviewed on CBC radio[6m25s CBC].
posted by ecco at 6:30 AM on October 24
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posted by phooky at 8:01 AM on October 22 [19 favorites]