Do-It-Yourself McRib

December 18, 2024 5:49 PM

The McRib is back. But you impugn and derogate the sandwich. Then make your own. The Food Wishes guy can show you how. So can Joshua Weissman.
posted by Lemkin (31 comments total)

Metafilter: you impugn and derogate the sandwich
posted by Why Is The World In Love Again? at 5:56 PM on December 18 [5 favorites]

Even bad publicity is still publicity.
posted by TrishaU at 6:02 PM on December 18

You’re way off — think smaller, think more legs.
posted by sillyman at 6:17 PM on December 18 [4 favorites]

I tried one once to see what the hype was about. Absolutely disgusting.
posted by TrialByMedia at 6:36 PM on December 18 [2 favorites]

But do those copycat recipes make you feel like you've eaten the ribs of God?
posted by PlusDistance at 7:03 PM on December 18 [3 favorites]

Reminder: The McRib is an arbitrage scheme.

Ultimately what the McRib says about us as a society is perhaps worse than any conspiracy theory about pork prices. The McRib, born at the end of the Volcker Recession, a child of Reagan’s Morning in America, has been with us on and off over the last three decades of underregulated corporate growth, erosion of organized labor, the shift to an “ideas” economy and skyrocketing obesity rates. The McRib is made of all these things, too. When you think back to its humble origins, as both an homage to Carolina style pork barbecue, and as a way to satisfy McNugget-hungry franchises, it’s all there.

posted by mhoye at 7:04 PM on December 18 [5 favorites]

Hey McRib impugners, let me clue you in. You need:

A long bun. (A long bun!)
Mystery pork meat. (Mystery pork meat!)
Onions. (Uh, onions!)
Too much sauce! (So much sauce!)
A box, and a bag! Yeah!
Then you've got a real McRib. [Horns] So sloppy... a fast food disaster. Woo!

I regret to inform you that these YouTube creations contain only one or two each of the key McRib components, and merely describe making boneless rib sandwiches, which you know, we've all had the power to make all along since the dawn of pigs and bread. "We've got McDonalds at home," indeed.
posted by I EAT TAPAS at 7:30 PM on December 18 [6 favorites]

these YouTube creations contain only one or two each of the key McRib components, and merely describe making boneless rib sandwiches

I think that's kind of the point. Folks like Chef John and Joshua Weissman remind us that the Clown's soulless dreck (I refuse to even refer to it "food") is in reality not at all special or gratifying, despite best corporate efforts to convince us otherwise; and they show us the way to real un-enshittified porky fulfillment.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:50 PM on December 18 [1 favorite]

Folks like Chef John and Joshua Weissman remind us that the Clown's soulless dreck (I refuse to even refer to it "food") is in reality not at all special or gratifying, despite best corporate efforts to convince us otherwise; and they show us the way to real un-enshittified porky fulfillment.

As someone who smokes his own pork, mixes his own sauces, pickles his own, uh, pickles, and who nonetheless buys an actual McRib once every two years or so, I assure you these YouTubers have missed the point.

Each time, the McRib is like a Proustian madeleine, summoning memories of the past in a way that a mere rib sandwich on a long bun could never do. One can complain about the industrial methods behind the creation of a McRib, but for a fleeting moment, one can taste the soul of the industrial food complex, a delicious but admittedly distressing experience. At a mere 520 calories per sandwich - and with a whopping 24 grams of mechanically separated protein - this bi-yearly McRib could not possibly be considered any cause of one's early demise or any sort of self-inflicted disease. In the event you become attached to it, and want more, the McRib will nevertheless be pulled away from you.

The McRib is like the Malort of fast food sandwiches, bold and distinctive yet disturbing, unliked by many but an experience never truly forgotten, undeniably unhealthy but unproblematic in that one could never willingly consume enough to actually result in any sort of harm. It is its own experience, untethered by the notions of good taste or fine preparation.
posted by I EAT TAPAS at 9:32 PM on December 18 [17 favorites]

According to a friend's sandwich blog, the cool McRib patty shape can be achieved through a silicon mold.
posted by SoundInhabitant at 9:41 PM on December 18 [1 favorite]

the McRib is like a Proustian madeleine ... for a fleeting moment, one can taste the soul of the industrial food complex

I can only assume that you seek the torment of the McRib in order to atone for some terrible sin in your past. May God have mercy on you.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:51 PM on December 18 [5 favorites]

I EAT TAPAS -- so on-point, yet so eponysterical. Message received.
posted by TrishaU at 1:20 AM on December 19 [2 favorites]

Weissman (whose videos I do like overall, and have used several of his recipes), has stated on record that he dislikes fast food. So his 'recreations' are always just a fancy version of the thing, which inevitably are "better" but fundamentally different. Shockingly, most things taste better when using high quality ingredients and making it all fresh in your own (professional) kitchen.

I've said it here before: I have McDonald's not because I want the best hamburger/rib sandwich, but because I specifically want McDonald's. You can get better versions of everything they serve from other establishments or indeed make them at home. But it's is cheap, convenient, and consistent which are often more important considerations than "good".

Or maybe I'm just salty because here in London the McRib has not made a return.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:03 AM on December 19 [4 favorites]

I have McDonald's not because I want the best hamburger/rib sandwich, but because I specifically want McDonald's. You can get better versions of everything they serve from other establishments or indeed make them at home. But it's is cheap, convenient, and consistent which are often more important considerations than "good".

Yeah. I have a similar thing - I can make macaroni and cheese from scratch the "real" way, where you make the cheese sauce with a roux and grated cheese and you bake the cheese-sauced-pasta in an oven and all that. I can even make a decent stovetop from-scratch version (boil the pasta in a mix of water AND milk, throw in some grated cheese and let that melt down). But even so - once in a blue moon, the blue box is exactly and precisely what I want. (I actually opt for Annie's brand instead so it's not QUITE so terrible.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:29 AM on December 19 [2 favorites]

I had a McRib for the first time a few weeks back - this was in Glasgow so @slimepuppy you may have just missed the window.

I had McDonalds first at the age of 7 so yeah it's kind of neither good nor bad but like the aforementioned Madeleine. in most of it.

The McRib however, yeah underwhelming. A bit like UK bacon in flavour with a weirdly sweet BBQ sauce and an attempt at a more normal bun compared to the sweet ones for the burgers.

It did make me think how there really aren't too many pork fast food items - hot dogs aside. At least on this side of the pond unless I'm missing something obvious?
posted by treblekicker at 5:59 AM on December 19 [1 favorite]

Once every few years I'll crave one of these after forgetting that they're not very good. In this part of the US it's easy enough to get a cheap Banquet frozen meal with one of those rib-shaped pork patties in a sticky-sweet sauce, then toss it on a bun at home with pickle and onion. After a couple of bites the regret sets in and that resets the craving clock.
posted by indexy at 6:07 AM on December 19 [3 favorites]

Years ago I went to a McDonald's drive-through on my workday lunch, expecting nothing more than my usual McNuggets and...

The McRib was back.

I purchased a meal and consumed it in the privacy of my car. And when I had eaten every bite, I walked with a relaxed pace back towards the office entrance.

The sun was shining on my face, it was a welcoming world, and every man was my friend.
posted by Lemkin at 6:25 AM on December 19 [2 favorites]

I haven't had one of these in many decades. But even as a kid, they tasted like skinless hot dogs with BBQ sauce. Just a different shape.
posted by SoberHighland at 6:34 AM on December 19

It did make me think how there really aren't too many pork fast food items

In fast food taxonomy pork is mostly a breakfast meat, I feel. Bacon and sausage and that.
posted by slimepuppy at 6:47 AM on December 19 [2 favorites]

I think the mcrib is fun - the effort to make the bone shapes shows they did care and put some thought into it. I mean, it would have been so much easier to make an oblong shape and be a cheaper version of the same thing.


Does it taste amazing? not really, but I'll have one every time it comes back. I think most pro chefs could add just a bit more fun to most of their dishes.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:25 AM on December 19 [1 favorite]

Also my opinion: oven cooked ribs are a poor facsimile of smoked or barbecued ribs, but will do in a time crunch. Just like the McRib.

Ahhh! they both did it! yikes. Don't be judging dudes.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:30 AM on December 19

Back in the late 80's/early 90's at the office where I worked there was both a McDonald's and a Burger King directly across the street. Occasionally I'd visit one for lunch, drawn by the images of beautiful McDLTs in the ads or the smell of "flame-broiled" burgers. The food I actually got always left me wanting, and one day I thought "why am I doing this to myself? I'm always disappointed afterward." I never went back there, and I've never eaten any fast food since then.

Which is not to brag or claim I'm a better person than any of the people claiming a fondness for fast food/boxed mac&cheese. I just wanted to illustrate that while I absolutely believe your experiences, I fundamentally don't share or understand them. But certainly don't let me stop you from obeying the inscrutable exhortations of your soul (despite my snark above about atoning for sins)!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:38 AM on December 19 [2 favorites]

the effort to make the bone shapes shows they did care and put some thought into it

Is that, like, semiotics?
posted by Lemkin at 8:46 AM on December 19 [2 favorites]

I EAT TAPAS -- so on-point, yet so eponysterical.

I keep thinking about McRib based tapas. Pieces of the meat on toothpicks topped with boquerones. A McRib but it’s on crusty bread that’s been rubbed with garlic and tomato.

You fine-tune and marinate the sandwich.
posted by Why Is The World In Love Again? at 8:54 AM on December 19 [2 favorites]

treblekicker, in the US we have BLTs which are somehow served year round but are really only good in the summer when tomatoes are freshly ripe, and pulled pork sandwiches, which the McRib kind of references, but is a completely different thing. And then there are all the salami/salumi sandwiches which are a staple of lunchtime delis.
posted by drossdragon at 9:20 AM on December 19

I love McRibs, or rather, I love my desire for McRibs.

I love it that I have this object of desire that I fully realize is vile and repulsive by any objective measure. The brain knows McRibs are No Good. But the heart -- it wants what it wants, and what it wants is this specific processed pork product. It appears without notice and goes away again, and its memory grows into unquenched desire, and when it comes back, satisfying that desire is a sublime moment, a joy I so rarely meet in this life.

My love is beyond reason. That's the best love of all.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:43 AM on December 19 [3 favorites]

I remember my local Kroger used to sell frozen McRib shaped pork-products. Considering they were selling the sauce by the jug this year, I imagine you used both to keep yourself in McRib's all year long.
posted by charred husk at 11:45 AM on December 19

Which is not to brag or claim I'm a better person than any of the people claiming a fondness for fast food/boxed mac&cheese. I just wanted to illustrate that while I absolutely believe your experiences, I fundamentally don't share or understand them.

See, so this is why I call myself the cutesy term "foodie" as opposed to "gourmet" or some other hi-falutin' term. "Gourmet" implies a specific standard is all you will go for - but to me, "Foodie" is more wide-ranging. You are open to both the super-high-quality stuff and the pure crap. You enjoy the home-baked and home-made mac and cheese, AND you ALSO enjoy the boxed crap. You know and enjoy the home-made rib sandwich AND you know and enjoy the McRib. You know that they are different - because they are - but they both each have their unique place and their unique qualities, and if a McRib is what you want, you don't deny yourself even though intellectually you know that the homemade version is empirically better.

It reminds me of a quote from a comic I saw once - someone has just bought a street cart dirty water hot dog, and as she munches happily, she tells a friend, "I can't figure out if the chemical aftertaste in this is intentional or if it's a bonus." You know it's junk, but sometimes junk is what you want.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:29 PM on December 19 [1 favorite]

Sorry, hit post too soon -

This is also reminding me of something from C Pam Zhang's book Land of Milk and Honey. That's a post-apocalyptic novel about a woman who was training as a chef when the world started to undergo an environmental collapse, and all the ingredients she had been training to work with as a fine-dining chef were non-existent by the time she graduated culinary school. So she'd been slumming it in these dive restaurants working with whatever crap they could get - lentils, weird cuts of meat, really crappy apples, etc. And then she gets offered a job as a personal chef for this super-rich Elon-Musk type of dude who has this compound in Italy complete with a greenhouse and a barn and so she's able to work with fresh produce and Wagyu beef again like she'd trained and she's on cloud nine for a while.

But after a couple years of cooking for some rich shits who don't really seem to appreciate or savor what she's doing, she sneaks out of the compound for a day trip into one of the nearby towns - and she gets a really crappy meal from a street cart, some kind of taco-type of thing that the woman running the cart has scraped together from the substandard stuff she can afford. And - she realizes it is somehow more soul-satisfiying than the things she's been making with the high-quality ingredients. Intellectually she knows it's crap. But emotionally there is something more sustaining about it. And she quits the job soon after.

When we discussed that book in my book club I mentioned that scene reminded me of the Korean dish budae jjigae - a stew invented shortly after the Korean War, incorporating the rations that US army bases left behind when they withdrew from South Korea. They left behind things like spam and canned baked beans and hot dogs and sliced Velveeta, stuff relatively unfamiliar to the average Korean, but they were starving so they said "shit, let's just throw it in a pot with some water and kimchi and see what happens." The recipe for budae jjigae sounds like it's something a hungover college student would throw together in his dorm room so he wouldn't have to leave the house. But it is god-damn amazing. Anthony Bourdain was so blown away by it he made it for Anderson Cooper.

There is absolutely a place for the fine stuff. There is also, I would argue, a place for this stuff.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:46 PM on December 19 [4 favorites]

My own argument would be that any dish created from even the simplest ingredients can be good if the ingredients are real, reasonably fresh, food (however unsophisticated), and that dishes made with artificial ingredients and flavors concocted in a lab in order to make a cheaper end-product are inevitably going to be less satisfying to me.

Clearly this is not a universally held belief, and I understand there are others, but this one remains firmly mine.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:56 PM on December 19

Note to Midwestern McRib lovers: Kwik Trip does a pretty tasty BBQ pork patty sammich with less-sweet sauce (and less-sloppy), to which you can add onions and pickles from the burger bar. IIRC, Holiday does one as well, but it's been a few years since I've been there.

Still not totally real food, but sometimes that's what you want, and it's available year-round. I am not your cardiologist.
posted by cinnamonduff at 7:49 PM on December 19 [1 favorite]