Home improvement

November 10, 2002 2:55 AM

Home improvement Twenty years saying nothing but "Hello" and "Goodbye" to the neighbours, all the while fixing to kill people after you're dead ... this man deserves to become the sixth famous Belgian.
posted by alloneword (15 comments total)

I smell a Hollywood movie already.

Jodie Foster finds her dead father on the fourth floor of his mansion. The suicide note, indicates that opening his bedroom door triggered a set of traps, all around the house, but wait there's more! The father also rigged a large bomb to explode in 90 minutes, and Jodie Foster has no choice, but to try and escape, before the house explodes.

Can she do it with the help of the cranky bomb expert (Clint Eastwood), who has no alternative, but to talk her through the house, step by step. Oh no, just as she's 10 feet from the front door, and with only 3 minutes before the bomb explodes, her cell phone goes dead....
posted by Beholder at 3:16 AM on November 10, 2002

This man deserves an award.
posted by ginz at 3:42 AM on November 10, 2002

It's codswallop that senior citizens don't commit crimes - they just confuse the little red wire with the green one.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 3:47 AM on November 10, 2002

"We've looked everywhere. He refers to the 20th device in his notes, but we can only conclude it wasn't yet in place," said Luc Bodard, the head of the military de-mining team.

I can only imagine what the booby-trap was beneath the pile of plates, but especially freaked of the one trap they never found.
posted by Keyser Soze at 4:06 AM on November 10, 2002

The "12 Apostles are ready to work on the pebbles" reference sounds like foundation work or a flagstone walkway.

As for "high concept" Hollywood adaptations: incorporate the Dethy incident into a remake of Kind Hearts & Coronets or Murder by Death.
Cast as many "bankable" names as possible, or, failing that, have someone in multiple roles in homage to Guinness' role in Coronets (Adam Sandler, Martin Short, Martin Lawrence, or Eddie Murphy, anyone?).

Bonus points for getting Joel Schumacher to direct, or for persuading Miramax Studios to release the project in time and within budget.
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:19 AM on November 10, 2002

And yes, I was joking.
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:20 AM on November 10, 2002

keyser soze' "booby" trap link is a booby trap which displays, among other things, images of shaved female genitalia and anal penetration. didn't you watch farm sluts keyser?
posted by quonsar at 5:59 AM on November 10, 2002

"12 Apostles are ready to work on the pebbles" ... Garden Gnomes, perhaps??
posted by devbrain at 9:43 AM on November 10, 2002

"this man deserves to become the sixth famous Belgian." Uh, who are/were the other five?
posted by DBAPaul at 10:30 AM on November 10, 2002

I wish I'd seen quonsar's note before I clicked on keyser's link.
posted by kayjay at 1:16 PM on November 10, 2002

Any list of famous Belgians surely would include Eddy Mercx. I'm sure there are Belgians who have contributed more to society but for me--It's Eddy. Of course YBMV (your Belgians may vary).
posted by m@ at 1:17 PM on November 10, 2002

I was writing a gossip column once, and the Belgian Embassy got really offended by something, so I had to find five famous Belgians. Hmm. Herve was one of them, Eddy Mercx, Magritte, ah, only two to go ...
posted by alloneword at 1:20 PM on November 10, 2002

It's Herge, not Herve. Herve was the dwarf from Fantasy Island, and he wasn't Belgian.

Jacques Brel.

I don't want to appear bigoted, but are the Belgians very odd? There always seem to be cases like this emanating from there.
posted by Grangousier at 1:31 PM on November 10, 2002

Famous Belgians
posted by Grangousier at 1:34 PM on November 10, 2002

Jean-Claude Van Damme is the most famous Belgian
posted by ollybee at 6:12 AM on November 12, 2002