Dastardly dividends of

December 12, 2002 6:26 AM

The Perpetual War Fund - First there was the Vice Fund (covered in Mefi Sept. 3). Now, The Perpetual War Portfolio: "an evenly weighted basket of five stocks poised to succeed in the age of perpetual war. The stocks were selected on the basis of popular product lines, strong political connections and lobbying efforts, and paid-for access to key Congressional decision makers." Somebody's going to profit from the machineries of death. Why not you?
posted by troutfishing (24 comments total)

And all well off their highs so you can pick them up cheap. So when is it again that this perpetual war is supposed to start?
posted by anewc2 at 8:34 AM on December 12, 2002

Nah, it can't be perpetual. How many of you enemies of America are there, after all?
posted by dhartung at 8:43 AM on December 12, 2002

So when is it again that this perpetual war is supposed to start?

Oh, about 50 years ago.
posted by four panels at 8:50 AM on December 12, 2002

Five funds? Sounds pretty risky to me. The Vice fund was able to find more than that for the Defence and Aerospace portion of their holdings.
I'd be more comfortable (purely from an investment point of view, ignoring the moral issues I have with such a fund) if the fund's holdings were more diverse -- currently, if just one of the stocks tanks (heh) it'll drag the whole fund to a loss. Not smart investing.
posted by me3dia at 8:50 AM on December 12, 2002

Er, that was meant to say five STOCKS, not funds. Carry on.
posted by me3dia at 8:51 AM on December 12, 2002

Does Fidelity have this listed? :-)
posted by nofundy at 8:51 AM on December 12, 2002

This Dack person claims to have "already made a tidy sum". That's funny, seeing how the return on the PWP since inception is -1.94%. Perhaps he means in losses?
posted by dagny at 9:01 AM on December 12, 2002

So when is it again that this perpetual war is supposed to start?

"The vice president said the U.S. would do everything possible to find the exiled Saudi millionaire [Bib Laden], and that a mission to take down his terrorist network could take years."

As for this fund, seems to me it was meant as political commentary, not an actual fund to invest in.
posted by mapalm at 9:03 AM on December 12, 2002

Dhartung - Aren't they everywhere? And isn't it an inevitable by-product of being a great power, to have enemies? After all, have you ever heard anyone talk in terms of the "enemies of Liechtenstein" (Or Andorra, or Monaco?). Then again, there's Grenada - exception proves the rule?

Dagny - Re - "the return on the PWP since inception is -1.94%" - All the major indexes (DOW, Nasdaq, S&P) have declined far more than the PWP. Give the fund a year or so. I guarantee you won't be disappointed! - The US will soon get a chance to try out a whole range of new weapons systems (in Iraq, that is) and, based on their performance (stellar, I'm sure) our allies around the world will place billions of $ of new orders.

Yes, the Perpetual War Index Fund will indeed do well. By doing good? Well....
posted by troutfishing at 10:00 AM on December 12, 2002

Actually troutfishing, Dhartung is talking about "you" enemies of America-- not sure if that is supposed to include people who toss off such terms as "perpetual war," or is solely confined to foreign elements.
posted by cell divide at 10:09 AM on December 12, 2002

Needless to say, Kant will not be sitting on the board.

Definitely a cute idea, but, as others have said, they need to diversify. Perhaps some less flashy, but still army dependent industries. And where's DynCorp?
posted by apostasy at 10:24 AM on December 12, 2002

Dhartung is just trying to distract everyone from the embarassing fact that the World Policy Institute report linked at the bottom of the page, "About Face: The Role of the Arms Lobby in the Bush Administration's Radical Reversal of U.S. Nuclear Policy," (which has been previously discussed) was written by his evil twin, William D. Hartung.
posted by homunculus at 10:51 AM on December 12, 2002

[Off Topic]

Today is the 2 year anniversary of one of the darkest days in US history.

This is the day that Scalia, Rehnquist and fellow felons denied the right of all citizens to have their vote count.

Occurences such as this FPP appears to satirize are the direct result of that infamous day.

Shame on the Extreme Court. May we never forget or "get over it."

I post this as a comment in an existing thread because I see no way of making a FPP that does justice to the sadness many feel.

Now back to your regularly scheduled entertainment. Any bets on ANY "liberal media" outlet mentioning this fact?
posted by nofundy at 12:55 PM on December 12, 2002

Once again, nofundy...this IS NOT your personal soap box. This is MetaFilter.
posted by BlueTrain at 1:01 PM on December 12, 2002

dagny, but of course he uses it as a hedge fund.

Oh, and I still don't know if we're related or not.
posted by dhartung at 1:14 PM on December 12, 2002

Metafilter: everyone's personal soapbox!™
posted by Dick Paris at 1:46 PM on December 12, 2002

Dhartung - How many hartungs can there be? The mormons could help with this one, with their vast genealogical database which they generously make available to all...used for nefarious purposes such as posthumously converting long dead Jewish relatives to Mormonism through a short ritual and the remittance of a certain fee to the church

NoFundy - I wasn't satirizing the Bush v. Gore decision (or it's ramifications) at all! The "Perpetual war fund" can be backdated for decades, much of the 20th century even, during which the US has fought many little wars, and a few big ones (all usefull for testing new tactics and weapons systems). I though Bush v. Gore was bad news, granted, but I'll save my tears, I think, for species die-offs and the gradual erosion of the biosphere. it's all of a piece, you say?...
posted by troutfishing at 7:48 PM on December 12, 2002

used for nefarious purposes such as posthumously converting long dead Jewish relatives to Mormonism

"An independent researcher said those baptized posthumously include Anne Frank, Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, Adolf Hitler and Buddha."
posted by homunculus at 10:07 PM on December 12, 2002

When I saw this one the fp, I thought it was a fundraising effort from Absurd Response or the like. The truth makes me much sadder.

And why are we talking about posthumous Mormon baptism again?
posted by hippugeek at 10:33 PM on December 12, 2002

Preemptive: And yeah, I realize this is a joke too. I'm still sad.
posted by hippugeek at 10:36 PM on December 12, 2002

hippugeek, I doubt I'll ever get this song out of my head. Damn you!
posted by homunculus at 11:18 PM on December 12, 2002

The mormons could help with this one, with their vast genealogical database which they generously make available to all...used for nefarious purposes such as posthumously converting long dead Jewish relatives to Mormonism through a short ritual and the remittance of a certain fee to the church

One MetaFilter dogpile a month on religion and religious people just not enough for you eh, barbs 'r' us?
posted by hama7 at 2:24 AM on December 13, 2002

hama7 - I was sincere about the Mormon's generosity with their database. The Catholic Church would probably charge a fee (not to mention methodists or presbytarians...I'll leave other religions well enough alone on this one)

But seriously, don't you think posthumous conversion to bit a bit presumptuous? (Homunculous - *WOW* Joan of Arc, Anne Frank, Ghengis Khan, Hitler, and the Buddha ?!! ALL MORMONS NOW !!!! - what about Jesus? He was a jew. Can't they convert him also?)

But enough of mormons. Right now my head is spinning from the resignation of Cardinal Bernard Law in the ever widening catholic priest sex scandal.....
posted by troutfishing at 7:43 AM on December 13, 2002

But seriously, don't you think posthumous conversion to bit a bit presumptuous? (Homunculous - *WOW* Joan of Arc, Anne Frank, Ghengis Khan, Hitler, and the Buddha ?!! ALL MORMONS NOW !!!! - what about Jesus? He was a jew. Can't they convert him also?)

Not sure what this is doing in this thread, but for a quick answer.

Mormon posthumous baptism is not conversion. Mormon's believe that baptism is a ritual that needs to be performed here. Those who have died who have not had that opportunity are baptized posthumously. It is believed that those who have had this ritual performed for them, are given the opportunity of accepting it or rejecting it according to their own free will.

It could be considered a prayer for those departed if you wish.

Also, because of the lay ministry of the LDS church and it having over 100 temples throughout the world where this ritual is practiced, it is difficult for the leadership to control who this ritual is performed for. Direction is given by the leadership, but, either the word is not spread far enough or members of the LDS church ignore it.

For some more informed discussion about this you might try here and here.
posted by Plunge at 8:26 AM on December 13, 2002