All I want for Christmas is my two... new breasts?
January 8, 2003 1:55 PM Subscribe
Michele's breasts are in your hands! Southern Cali college girl Michele bemoans her "itty-bitty boobies" and asks the world to decide whether she should surgically acquire a set of bodacious ta-tas by donating to her online implant fund. So far the fund has swelled to only $19.36, hardly the push-up Michele was hoping for and pretty far from the $4500 she needs to get [more inside] her Wonderbra. But perhaps Mefites have a silicone dollop of charity left after the holiday season. Then again, maybe this isn't the breast best way to spend your charity dollar. [via El Reg]
What's with these chicks, like the lesbians from yesterday? Have they never heard of that great philanthropist, Howard Stern?
posted by hincandenza at 1:58 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by hincandenza at 1:58 PM on January 8, 2003
FWIW, the phenomenon of cyberbegging revolts me too (despite my arguably having been part of it not too long ago, sigh). But I was simply unable to resist a post in which I could use the phrase "bodacious ta-tas." I beg your most kind indulgence, and please consider this a golden opportunity to hold the first ever MeFi Worst Breast-Related Pun Contest. :-)
posted by rusty at 2:03 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by rusty at 2:03 PM on January 8, 2003
Damn, rusty, that was a very well written post, very witty.
posted by Blake at 2:03 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by Blake at 2:03 PM on January 8, 2003
I have something to contribute towards her boobs...but it's not legal tender.
posted by vito90 at 2:04 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by vito90 at 2:04 PM on January 8, 2003
Well the photo, face half missing as it is, makes Michel look like Linda Park, who's gorgeous, famous, and doesn't have big boobs either and seems to be doing fine without, thank you.
HAVE WEBSITE WILL SELF-PROSTITUTE
posted by WolfDaddy at 2:05 PM on January 8, 2003
HAVE WEBSITE WILL SELF-PROSTITUTE
posted by WolfDaddy at 2:05 PM on January 8, 2003
So she got 30,000 hits today alone, and she still has a total of $44 donated. That gives her an average of maybe .15 cents per hit. She's doomed.
And by the way, don't breast implants increase chances of breast cancer, make it impossible to breast feed, and have many other awful complications, not to mention the fact that if you get a silicone leak you're seriously f-ed?
posted by zekinskia at 2:06 PM on January 8, 2003
And by the way, don't breast implants increase chances of breast cancer, make it impossible to breast feed, and have many other awful complications, not to mention the fact that if you get a silicone leak you're seriously f-ed?
posted by zekinskia at 2:06 PM on January 8, 2003
Thank you, Blake.
Witty: I totally agree. But hell, the longer others fail to realize that, the more fine small-breasted women for us. (Rusty checks left ring finger) Oops. Damn. Well, the more for you anyway.
zekinskia: On the contrary, breast implants save lives!
posted by rusty at 2:12 PM on January 8, 2003
Witty: I totally agree. But hell, the longer others fail to realize that, the more fine small-breasted women for us. (Rusty checks left ring finger) Oops. Damn. Well, the more for you anyway.
zekinskia: On the contrary, breast implants save lives!
posted by rusty at 2:12 PM on January 8, 2003
PLUS you can get a free video or dvd (not for minors!) as a new member. New members get Search for the Snow Leopard- it is very good- not at all what I expected! I cheated, and signed up as a new member each time I ordred, so I've got a few of their videos.
So she is swindling a company that is actually helping her cause by donating $2 per order? Don't know why I find that even more distasteful than the cyberbeg.
posted by widdershins at 2:14 PM on January 8, 2003
So she is swindling a company that is actually helping her cause by donating $2 per order? Don't know why I find that even more distasteful than the cyberbeg.
posted by widdershins at 2:14 PM on January 8, 2003
They don't fill them with silicone anymore, I thought, only saline, but it's still a stupid idea.
posted by agregoli at 2:17 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by agregoli at 2:17 PM on January 8, 2003
I loved this caption:
My profile. This is me gazing upon a nice big rack with admiration. :)
In a world of made, there's a lot to be said for a world of born.
posted by alumshubby at 2:17 PM on January 8, 2003
My profile. This is me gazing upon a nice big rack with admiration. :)
In a world of made, there's a lot to be said for a world of born.
posted by alumshubby at 2:17 PM on January 8, 2003
Why OH WHY are you giving this shameless leech free advertising? This is no longer novel or newsworthy. Please stop.
posted by UrbanFigaro at 2:17 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by UrbanFigaro at 2:17 PM on January 8, 2003
There are few things less appealing to my eye than big fake gravity-defying boobs on a small-framed woman. Lucy Liu gets by fine with what nature gave her...
posted by grum@work at 2:20 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by grum@work at 2:20 PM on January 8, 2003
1. She's short so she tries to make herself look tall 2. People don't know her so she has a webpage about herself 3. She has small breasts so she wants to make them bigger.
Conclusion: she wants attention but doesn't realize that the attention that large breasts bring isn't the best sort of attention. Not the worst either, but the fact of the matter is that even if you like large breasts when you meet them it's more like an added bonus than a prerequisite.
Oh, and wanna know what the best thing about tits is??
They don't talk. Or make webpages.
o<
posted by KettleBlack at 2:22 PM on January 8, 2003
Conclusion: she wants attention but doesn't realize that the attention that large breasts bring isn't the best sort of attention. Not the worst either, but the fact of the matter is that even if you like large breasts when you meet them it's more like an added bonus than a prerequisite.
Oh, and wanna know what the best thing about tits is??
They don't talk. Or make webpages.
o<
posted by KettleBlack at 2:22 PM on January 8, 2003
Or make webpages.
You'd think otherwise, judging from the evidence...
posted by y2karl at 2:26 PM on January 8, 2003
You'd think otherwise, judging from the evidence...
posted by y2karl at 2:26 PM on January 8, 2003
Whatever happened to that guy who was going to chop off his feet if he got enough donations to build his guillotine (or something like that)? Shouldn't there be some sort of central clearing house for body parts on the web?
posted by yhbc at 2:26 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by yhbc at 2:26 PM on January 8, 2003
just wait till they're all screaming from the back pain and welts from industrial-strength bra straps. (Holy bitter naturally large breasted woman Batman!)
maybe i'm just being catty, but i find that a lot of breast implants look like bowling balls and you could fit a third one in the middle.
posted by melissa at 2:26 PM on January 8, 2003
maybe i'm just being catty, but i find that a lot of breast implants look like bowling balls and you could fit a third one in the middle.
posted by melissa at 2:26 PM on January 8, 2003
Lucy Liu does get by, but she appears to be/is tall. This girl isn't tall. Basically, if you're tall, you don't need large breasts - it's more of an issue if you don't have anything else going for you. You can't get height implants. Or, for that matter, personality implants.
Of course the reason I say this is because I am an expert on these matters and know that whatever I say will be accepted as truth.
PS FARK.COM RULEZ DEWD NO WAY GEDDY LEE IS BETTER THAN JIMMY PAGE NO FARKING WAY DEWD
y2Karl it isn't really the tits themselves so much as other people. That's the beauty of tits. No tits ever crossed me.
posted by KettleBlack at 2:30 PM on January 8, 2003
Of course the reason I say this is because I am an expert on these matters and know that whatever I say will be accepted as truth.
PS FARK.COM RULEZ DEWD NO WAY GEDDY LEE IS BETTER THAN JIMMY PAGE NO FARKING WAY DEWD
y2Karl it isn't really the tits themselves so much as other people. That's the beauty of tits. No tits ever crossed me.
posted by KettleBlack at 2:30 PM on January 8, 2003
UrbanFigaro - But this is about "bodacious ta-ta" and a 'girl' who wants them.
"Bodacious ta-tas" are highly overrated and it should be pointed out that large breasts alone do not make "Bodacious ta-tas".
Have you ever tried to buy sexy clothes for a S.O. with large breasts? Forget Victoria's Secret - the clothes sizes they stock don't even come close to fitting.
and you can't really be physically active in sports with large breasts.
posted by DBAPaul at 2:32 PM on January 8, 2003
"Bodacious ta-tas" are highly overrated and it should be pointed out that large breasts alone do not make "Bodacious ta-tas".
Have you ever tried to buy sexy clothes for a S.O. with large breasts? Forget Victoria's Secret - the clothes sizes they stock don't even come close to fitting.
and you can't really be physically active in sports with large breasts.
posted by DBAPaul at 2:32 PM on January 8, 2003
She'd probably make more money if she had bigger tits.
posted by jpoulos at 2:33 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by jpoulos at 2:33 PM on January 8, 2003
* tries to picture a sport with large breasts *
* wonders how to get physically active in it *
posted by yhbc at 2:34 PM on January 8, 2003
* wonders how to get physically active in it *
posted by yhbc at 2:34 PM on January 8, 2003
Now if someone would please link an ass donation site we'd be in business here.
posted by KettleBlack at 2:34 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by KettleBlack at 2:34 PM on January 8, 2003
I might vote yes, if only fake breasts didn't look and feel fake.
posted by ParisParamus at 2:38 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by ParisParamus at 2:38 PM on January 8, 2003
Someone buy her a few more letters for her name, while you're at it.
posted by gottabefunky at 2:43 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by gottabefunky at 2:43 PM on January 8, 2003
>>>DBAPaul Have you ever tried to buy sexy clothes for a SO with small breasts? Forget Victoria's Secret....the clothes sizes they stock don't even come close to fitting!
I should know...its very depressing when so many people tell you that women with small breasts...and I don't mean women who wear size B...are just as sexy. If that was the case why don't they make sexy clothes to fit them? I have always had the idea to open a store that carries lingerie for small busted women only. Like those stores for large women...or Big and Tall men.
posted by SweetIceT at 2:46 PM on January 8, 2003
I should know...its very depressing when so many people tell you that women with small breasts...and I don't mean women who wear size B...are just as sexy. If that was the case why don't they make sexy clothes to fit them? I have always had the idea to open a store that carries lingerie for small busted women only. Like those stores for large women...or Big and Tall men.
posted by SweetIceT at 2:46 PM on January 8, 2003
and you can't really be physically active in sports with large breasts.
Not even bowling?
I mean if you can smoke and drink beer while you're bowling...
posted by y2karl at 2:47 PM on January 8, 2003
Not even bowling?
I mean if you can smoke and drink beer while you're bowling...
posted by y2karl at 2:47 PM on January 8, 2003
Actually SweetIceT, I'm on the side of women with small breasts ARE just as sexy which sounds strange when I consider the fact that I always end up with large breasted women.
posted by DBAPaul at 3:07 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by DBAPaul at 3:07 PM on January 8, 2003
and you can't really be physically active in sports with large breasts
Didn't stop my wife from lettering in softball in HS, back in the day. Plus she was pretty short and, uh, wide. (God, if she sees this I'm dead.) She played catcher and shortstop.
posted by alumshubby at 3:14 PM on January 8, 2003
Didn't stop my wife from lettering in softball in HS, back in the day. Plus she was pretty short and, uh, wide. (God, if she sees this I'm dead.) She played catcher and shortstop.
posted by alumshubby at 3:14 PM on January 8, 2003
I hope all little girls grow up and have dreams of working at Hooters and posing for Playboy.
She needs a brain implant more than breast implants.
posted by Beholder at 3:20 PM on January 8, 2003
She needs a brain implant more than breast implants.
posted by Beholder at 3:20 PM on January 8, 2003
More evidence of the inevitable Farkinization of MeFi.
posted by TuffAustin at 3:23 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by TuffAustin at 3:23 PM on January 8, 2003
Heh. Are you kidding? If I'd posted this on K5 they'd tear me apart like wild dingoes! :-)
posted by rusty at 3:40 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by rusty at 3:40 PM on January 8, 2003
Please, SweetIceT, tell us what you will name your lingerie store for the small busted woman?
posted by samuelad at 3:41 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by samuelad at 3:41 PM on January 8, 2003
Lucy Liu does get by, but she appears to be/is tall.
Lucy Liu is very short, I saw her having dinner with that guy from Sugar Ray and while I was staring at her, I realized that she was standing up next to the table, and not sitting down as I thought.
posted by jonah at 3:42 PM on January 8, 2003
Lucy Liu is very short, I saw her having dinner with that guy from Sugar Ray and while I was staring at her, I realized that she was standing up next to the table, and not sitting down as I thought.
posted by jonah at 3:42 PM on January 8, 2003
How Bout "Straight A"s" or "Itty Bitty Titties R Us"? Now if I could just find someone to design the clothes I would be in business!
posted by SweetIceT at 3:45 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by SweetIceT at 3:45 PM on January 8, 2003
GiveBoobs? That's terrible.
She should call it The War Against My Rack.
/bans self
posted by Skot at 3:46 PM on January 8, 2003
She should call it The War Against My Rack.
/bans self
posted by Skot at 3:46 PM on January 8, 2003
I wish you much success, SweetIceT. I just hope it works out better than that time my uncle opened a jock strap store for men with small penises.
For the record: I like breasts of all sizes.
posted by samuelad at 3:53 PM on January 8, 2003
For the record: I like breasts of all sizes.
posted by samuelad at 3:53 PM on January 8, 2003
Lucy Liu is very short
The majority of celebrities I've interacted with have been 5'7" or shorter. This never ceases to surprise me. They just look so BIG up there onscreen. With me being 6'2" I always feel a little weird when amongst more than 2-3 at a time.
And what they say about the camera adding ten pounds? True. Onscreen many celebs look fine but in real life they look almost emaciated. Scary.
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:53 PM on January 8, 2003
The majority of celebrities I've interacted with have been 5'7" or shorter. This never ceases to surprise me. They just look so BIG up there onscreen. With me being 6'2" I always feel a little weird when amongst more than 2-3 at a time.
And what they say about the camera adding ten pounds? True. Onscreen many celebs look fine but in real life they look almost emaciated. Scary.
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:53 PM on January 8, 2003
This settles it. I'm going to start up a website to solicit donations so I can get my ass augmented, so I will no longer be an Assless American. Believe me, my ass is smaller than her tits.
Also, rusty, you should have submitted this to K5. It covers neither politics, nor Introductions to anything (except tits), and isn't completel mindless blathering.
posted by Captain_Tenille at 3:54 PM on January 8, 2003
Also, rusty, you should have submitted this to K5. It covers neither politics, nor Introductions to anything (except tits), and isn't completel mindless blathering.
posted by Captain_Tenille at 3:54 PM on January 8, 2003
[OT]
KettleBlack: i'm pretty sure Lucy Liu isn't that tall...
Checks, nope, 5'2".
Course my wife is 5' even so to her Lucy would be a giant :)
[/OT]
posted by quin at 3:54 PM on January 8, 2003
KettleBlack: i'm pretty sure Lucy Liu isn't that tall...
Checks, nope, 5'2".
Course my wife is 5' even so to her Lucy would be a giant :)
[/OT]
posted by quin at 3:54 PM on January 8, 2003
The bit I always wonder is...
Everyone knows that fake boobs look fake, but is that just because we assume the boobs that we see that look fake are fake? If you saw fake boobs that looked real, you wouldn't count them in your list of "fake boobs I've seen", so you never get away from that idea. Same if you saw real boobs that look fake.
(I've never really felt it was appropriate to just go over and ask, I suppose.)
This isn't just about boobs - in general people aren't very good at remembering to check for evidence against a hypothesis.
posted by wilberforce at 3:54 PM on January 8, 2003
Everyone knows that fake boobs look fake, but is that just because we assume the boobs that we see that look fake are fake? If you saw fake boobs that looked real, you wouldn't count them in your list of "fake boobs I've seen", so you never get away from that idea. Same if you saw real boobs that look fake.
(I've never really felt it was appropriate to just go over and ask, I suppose.)
This isn't just about boobs - in general people aren't very good at remembering to check for evidence against a hypothesis.
posted by wilberforce at 3:54 PM on January 8, 2003
Skot -- that was as good as the time coldchef told us all he'd eat the meat of any of us. I'm still wiping away the tears (this is after staring at your post while paralyzied with laughter).
posted by daver at 4:11 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by daver at 4:11 PM on January 8, 2003
Wofdaddy is on to something--Bob Dylan is a half a foot taller than quin's wife.
posted by y2karl at 4:12 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by y2karl at 4:12 PM on January 8, 2003
Jan. 8, 2002: HOLY CRAP! The site got over 30,000 hits in the last 8 hours! If the site crashes, I'm sorry- I'm trying to get my web host to increase my traffic allowance!
Witness, the power of MeFi! Now can we start using this power for the sake of good. . .
posted by dgaicun at 4:15 PM on January 8, 2003
Witness, the power of MeFi! Now can we start using this power for the sake of good. . .
posted by dgaicun at 4:15 PM on January 8, 2003
Now can we start using this power for the sake of good. . .
Plus, her boobs are fine the way they are.
posted by hama7 at 4:18 PM on January 8, 2003
Plus, her boobs are fine the way they are.
posted by hama7 at 4:18 PM on January 8, 2003
y2karl: Bob Dylan is a half a foot taller than quin's wife
And i am half a foot taller than Bob Dylan. Thus symmetry is restored to the world.
posted by quin at 4:24 PM on January 8, 2003
And i am half a foot taller than Bob Dylan. Thus symmetry is restored to the world.
posted by quin at 4:24 PM on January 8, 2003
Chiropractors everywhere rejoice.
posted by adampsyche at 4:26 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by adampsyche at 4:26 PM on January 8, 2003
Now taking donations to open my new lingerie store "lil 'Uns". So all you guys who "claim" you like small breasts as much as big breasts can prove it by donating now!
posted by SweetIceT at 4:30 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by SweetIceT at 4:30 PM on January 8, 2003
You can't get height implants.
Well not exactly. (Ever seen Gattaca?)
posted by Utilitaritron at 5:25 PM on January 8, 2003
Well not exactly. (Ever seen Gattaca?)
posted by Utilitaritron at 5:25 PM on January 8, 2003
dgaicun: That 30,000 hits message was there before I posted here. I got the link from The Register, and it's also been on Ananova today (which is probably where the Reg got it, or vice versa perhaps). I imagine she'll top out well above that for the day though. Now I want to see what tomorrow's donation total looks like. I'm hoping it's not over $20, but I expect to be disappointed.
posted by rusty at 5:28 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by rusty at 5:28 PM on January 8, 2003
Breast. Thread. Ever.
Everyone knows that fake boobs look fake, but is that just because we assume the boobs that we see that look fake are fake?
Take the silicon challenge. (NSFW)
Personally, my philosophy is "more than a mouthful is wasted."
posted by Wet Spot at 5:55 PM on January 8, 2003
Everyone knows that fake boobs look fake, but is that just because we assume the boobs that we see that look fake are fake?
Take the silicon challenge. (NSFW)
Personally, my philosophy is "more than a mouthful is wasted."
posted by Wet Spot at 5:55 PM on January 8, 2003
Giveboobs.com?
If she makes any dough she should rename it boobs-give.com...
posted by jonmc at 5:56 PM on January 8, 2003
If she makes any dough she should rename it boobs-give.com...
posted by jonmc at 5:56 PM on January 8, 2003
I wish that women who claimed to want implants could get temporary fake boobs for a week and see how they feel. I'm thinking shaped silicon pouches which attach directly to the actual breast via strong yet easily-dissolved adhesive. All these women have to do is run for one train with breasts bouncing and swaying, and they'll cure that self-image problem in no time.
posted by swerve at 6:26 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by swerve at 6:26 PM on January 8, 2003
>>> swerve I wish that women who have "real" large boobs could have them temporarily removed for a week and see how they feel (and I mean down to an A or smaller).....Yes women with large breasts can have them surgically reduced (for very good reason I might add, my grandmother did and she says it was the best thing she ever did for herself). I have yet however to find one woman who has had them reduced to an A cup. Most often they reduce to the average B or C cup.
And lets be honest here.....Men do not fall over themselves and worship A cup size breasts no matter how much they proclaim otherwise here. The truth is....small breasts are just okay to them as long as they are the only boobs in the room... but if some bigger ones come along...they forget all about the smaller breasts. When was the last time you saw a woman with small breasts win a wet t shirt contest? The answer NEVER. (And please remember I am speaking of real small breasts...A cup gentlemen B doesnt count thats average). If what they say here were true, that small ones are just as good as big ones, that would not be the case.
Having to wear padded push up bras for a lifetime just to look proportioned and to feel more womanly becomes old real fast I can tell you that.
posted by SweetIceT at 7:15 PM on January 8, 2003
And lets be honest here.....Men do not fall over themselves and worship A cup size breasts no matter how much they proclaim otherwise here. The truth is....small breasts are just okay to them as long as they are the only boobs in the room... but if some bigger ones come along...they forget all about the smaller breasts. When was the last time you saw a woman with small breasts win a wet t shirt contest? The answer NEVER. (And please remember I am speaking of real small breasts...A cup gentlemen B doesnt count thats average). If what they say here were true, that small ones are just as good as big ones, that would not be the case.
Having to wear padded push up bras for a lifetime just to look proportioned and to feel more womanly becomes old real fast I can tell you that.
posted by SweetIceT at 7:15 PM on January 8, 2003
I'm thinking I'll register pleasedontgivememoney.com... It will consist of one page stating that I don't want your donations and that if you did spend money on me, I'd just waste it... Then there would be a list of things I waste money on...
the bottom of the page would have a paypal button to donate money to me in case you're bad at following directions.
posted by drezdn at 8:36 PM on January 8, 2003
the bottom of the page would have a paypal button to donate money to me in case you're bad at following directions.
posted by drezdn at 8:36 PM on January 8, 2003
I can't help but think that all this emphasis on looks as opposed to substance is just another aspect of the Boobonic Plague.
I almost hope she gets her implants, then contracts the other Boobonic plague:
Chesty swimsuit models and Hollywood starlets are running scared -- because of a new disease that whittles large breasts down into teensy nubs not much bigger than mosquito bites! At least 500 cases of the bizarre boob-shrinking disease have been reported, the majority in California. Known by physicians as Merot's Syndrome after the doctor who first identified it, it's been dubbed the "boob-onic plague" by wiseacres. "I guess it's an attempt at gallows humor, but there's nothing funny about this illness," says a leading Los Angeles contagious-disease specialist. "Many of the victims are extremely well-endowed and justly proud of the fact that their breasts aren't fake. When women go from a D-cup to an A-cup in a matter of weeks, it can be devastating to their self-esteem."
(On the Bog, 9 Jan '03)
Then again, maybe Michele is playing us for fools--perhaps she's counting on getting Bucks for her new Boobs, then keeping the cash and skipping the operation. Maybe she's not a complete boob after all.
posted by Shane at 8:38 PM on January 8, 2003
I almost hope she gets her implants, then contracts the other Boobonic plague:
Chesty swimsuit models and Hollywood starlets are running scared -- because of a new disease that whittles large breasts down into teensy nubs not much bigger than mosquito bites! At least 500 cases of the bizarre boob-shrinking disease have been reported, the majority in California. Known by physicians as Merot's Syndrome after the doctor who first identified it, it's been dubbed the "boob-onic plague" by wiseacres. "I guess it's an attempt at gallows humor, but there's nothing funny about this illness," says a leading Los Angeles contagious-disease specialist. "Many of the victims are extremely well-endowed and justly proud of the fact that their breasts aren't fake. When women go from a D-cup to an A-cup in a matter of weeks, it can be devastating to their self-esteem."
(On the Bog, 9 Jan '03)
Then again, maybe Michele is playing us for fools--perhaps she's counting on getting Bucks for her new Boobs, then keeping the cash and skipping the operation. Maybe she's not a complete boob after all.
posted by Shane at 8:38 PM on January 8, 2003
When was the last time you saw a woman with small breasts win a wet t shirt contest? The answer NEVER.
That's because the type of man who would judge a wet tshirt contest is all about large breasts. The gentleman who loves all breasts with equal passion would probably never have a desire to go to such an attraction.
posted by drezdn at 8:42 PM on January 8, 2003
That's because the type of man who would judge a wet tshirt contest is all about large breasts. The gentleman who loves all breasts with equal passion would probably never have a desire to go to such an attraction.
posted by drezdn at 8:42 PM on January 8, 2003
P.S. I'm not necessarilly endorsing the book the Boobonic Plague, but I do like the title...
posted by Shane at 8:43 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by Shane at 8:43 PM on January 8, 2003
This has got to be fake. The web site, I mean. I thought I could almost hear some guys doing a Beavis 'n Butt-head style chuckle in the background.
posted by Termite at 8:54 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by Termite at 8:54 PM on January 8, 2003
>>>drezdn That's bunk and we both know it. You are telling me that hetero men if given the chance and who are sure that the women in thier life would not find out would shun that type of attraction? The judges at these events normally are the members of the entire audience not individual judges.
Even if it were true....those men would be in the very very miniscule minority. Those minority of men do not make the less endowed women feel that much better about themselves.
The men that I have come across that seek out small chested women do so because they remind them of young girls not full grown women...that is what small chested women know full well and what they are seeking to leave behind by enhancing thier bustlines.
posted by SweetIceT at 9:14 PM on January 8, 2003
Even if it were true....those men would be in the very very miniscule minority. Those minority of men do not make the less endowed women feel that much better about themselves.
The men that I have come across that seek out small chested women do so because they remind them of young girls not full grown women...that is what small chested women know full well and what they are seeking to leave behind by enhancing thier bustlines.
posted by SweetIceT at 9:14 PM on January 8, 2003
But that's not what I'm saying... Anyone at a wet tshirt contest is obviously there to see breasts and for such a person they would obviously prefer larger breasts.
I know plenty of men who don't care about the size of a woman's chest finding any size equally pleasurable, just as I'm sure there are woman who are attracted to scrawny men.
posted by drezdn at 9:34 PM on January 8, 2003
I know plenty of men who don't care about the size of a woman's chest finding any size equally pleasurable, just as I'm sure there are woman who are attracted to scrawny men.
posted by drezdn at 9:34 PM on January 8, 2003
Breasts are nice. But in my experience, you do spend a lot more time with people while they are dressed, so it is wise to appreciate the subtle charms of the human visage.
posted by qbert72 at 9:47 PM on January 8, 2003
posted by qbert72 at 9:47 PM on January 8, 2003
When was the last time you saw a woman with small breasts win a wet t shirt contest?
who are the losers who care who wins a wet t-shirt contest though? I mean, isn't that something people would want to avoid doing, an embarrassing moment not well thought through, like becoming a contestant on some skanky marry-a-millionaire-(or-not) game show? Maybe superficially most guys would vaguely prefer larger boobs but no interesting person is going to reject you solely for not having a big enough rack, and it's not going to enhance your experience, so you're paying lotsa money to be stuck continually carrying around extra weight for the possibility of adding a small enhancement to future sex partners' experience. Sounds like a lame deal.
posted by mdn at 10:08 PM on January 8, 2003
who are the losers who care who wins a wet t-shirt contest though? I mean, isn't that something people would want to avoid doing, an embarrassing moment not well thought through, like becoming a contestant on some skanky marry-a-millionaire-(or-not) game show? Maybe superficially most guys would vaguely prefer larger boobs but no interesting person is going to reject you solely for not having a big enough rack, and it's not going to enhance your experience, so you're paying lotsa money to be stuck continually carrying around extra weight for the possibility of adding a small enhancement to future sex partners' experience. Sounds like a lame deal.
posted by mdn at 10:08 PM on January 8, 2003
TuffAustin's right - the Farkinization of this place must be curtailed.
In that spirit, shouldn't Michel be derided for her horribly flawed logic? After all, she says,
That's when I figured I would let the world decide. If somebody likes augmented breasts, they will add a tiny amount to my breast fund. If they do not, they will leave and my boob fund will stay zero.
But... 10,000,000 "No" votes and a few thousand paltry donations and she's off to the doc with the bicycle pump, despite the world's overwhelming disapproval.
Where oh where is the intellectual integrity of the shameless internet hussies of yesteryear? *sob*
posted by adameft at 10:35 PM on January 8, 2003
In that spirit, shouldn't Michel be derided for her horribly flawed logic? After all, she says,
That's when I figured I would let the world decide. If somebody likes augmented breasts, they will add a tiny amount to my breast fund. If they do not, they will leave and my boob fund will stay zero.
But... 10,000,000 "No" votes and a few thousand paltry donations and she's off to the doc with the bicycle pump, despite the world's overwhelming disapproval.
Where oh where is the intellectual integrity of the shameless internet hussies of yesteryear? *sob*
posted by adameft at 10:35 PM on January 8, 2003
The men that I have come across that seek out small chested women do so because they remind them of young girls not full grown women...
I thought that was Harrison Fords' deal with Calista. He is in his sixties and wants those young girls again. Maybe.
posted by JohnR at 10:44 PM on January 8, 2003
I thought that was Harrison Fords' deal with Calista. He is in his sixties and wants those young girls again. Maybe.
posted by JohnR at 10:44 PM on January 8, 2003
i shout in the wilderness:
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=MICHKEEPYOURBOOBS
posted by azul at 11:22 PM on January 8, 2003
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=MICHKEEPYOURBOOBS
posted by azul at 11:22 PM on January 8, 2003
The men that I have come across that seek out small chested women do so because they remind them of young girls not full grown women
I don't know who you're meeting, but I don't believe that is true. I don't even know that I believe that you really believe it's true. If you do, then that almost certainly says says a lot more about your issues then random men and their interest in breast size.
posted by willnot at 11:43 PM on January 8, 2003
I don't know who you're meeting, but I don't believe that is true. I don't even know that I believe that you really believe it's true. If you do, then that almost certainly says says a lot more about your issues then random men and their interest in breast size.
posted by willnot at 11:43 PM on January 8, 2003
Hmmmm . . . . I'm looking back over about 20 years of adulthood and thinking hard, and I don't think I have ever asked a man, or been told by a man, what size breasts he prefers and why. This includes acquaintances, close friends, boyfriends, and husbands (and I'm positive the subject has never come up with my father or my brother). I don't quite understand where other women are getting this information.
posted by JanetLand at 6:18 AM on January 9, 2003
posted by JanetLand at 6:18 AM on January 9, 2003
Janetland: somehow I doubt you play a key role in the Fox Network's Nielson ratings--I'm in love.
posted by ParisParamus at 7:03 AM on January 9, 2003
posted by ParisParamus at 7:03 AM on January 9, 2003
Personally, I have no problem with small breasts. Why can't women just be happy with their bodies?
It's all those magazines (Seventeen, Y&M, Vanity Fair, etc.) with every page telling them how they should look and act. It makes me so upset that perfectly fine women (who may have small breasts or not a perfectly slim figure) read these and try to emulate them... and if they can't they feel they're "too fat" or their breasts are "too small."
posted by mckayc at 7:41 AM on January 9, 2003
It's all those magazines (Seventeen, Y&M, Vanity Fair, etc.) with every page telling them how they should look and act. It makes me so upset that perfectly fine women (who may have small breasts or not a perfectly slim figure) read these and try to emulate them... and if they can't they feel they're "too fat" or their breasts are "too small."
posted by mckayc at 7:41 AM on January 9, 2003
>>>JanetLand, you obviously then must fall into the enviable position of having average or better size breasts as women who are smaller know full well what the majority of men prefer.
>>>McKayc the only way I can help you understand is this. If we were able to ALWAYS see the size of men's penises and the media was loaded with images of them. If your personal size was a bit below average and if you were with a woman who reacted to those men appreciatively though she tells you that she doesn't care about size, you would get the idea.
Believe me when I say, every man I have ever been with told me the same thing "I never really cared about breast size anyway". Actions speak louder than words. So at least let me say this. If you profess those words to your woman, live up to it (I dare you) and never allow yourself to ever again react to another woman's breast size.
posted by SweetIceT at 8:15 AM on January 9, 2003
>>>McKayc the only way I can help you understand is this. If we were able to ALWAYS see the size of men's penises and the media was loaded with images of them. If your personal size was a bit below average and if you were with a woman who reacted to those men appreciatively though she tells you that she doesn't care about size, you would get the idea.
Believe me when I say, every man I have ever been with told me the same thing "I never really cared about breast size anyway". Actions speak louder than words. So at least let me say this. If you profess those words to your woman, live up to it (I dare you) and never allow yourself to ever again react to another woman's breast size.
posted by SweetIceT at 8:15 AM on January 9, 2003
Actually I would say I'm definitely in the minor leagues sizewise. And I base this determination not on magazines or television or what anyone might tell me but on the available sizes I see in the stores when buying underwear.
I also believe that what we "prefer" has very little to do with relationships and falling in love anyway. I don't think I've ever had a serious relationship with someone who is in any way like my dreamy ideal of the perfect male physique, and yet that has never gotten in the way of romance in either the physical or emotional sense.
posted by JanetLand at 9:36 AM on January 9, 2003
I also believe that what we "prefer" has very little to do with relationships and falling in love anyway. I don't think I've ever had a serious relationship with someone who is in any way like my dreamy ideal of the perfect male physique, and yet that has never gotten in the way of romance in either the physical or emotional sense.
posted by JanetLand at 9:36 AM on January 9, 2003
If only I could transfer some of my breasts to Michel's, we'd both be happy. I would still be unmistakably female even with a flat chest and sports would be so much easier.
(Breast reductions are scary. Scary! They cut the entire nipple off and sew it back on. I'll stick to two sports bras.)
posted by swerve at 10:37 AM on January 9, 2003
(Breast reductions are scary. Scary! They cut the entire nipple off and sew it back on. I'll stick to two sports bras.)
posted by swerve at 10:37 AM on January 9, 2003
Yes, swerve, breast reductions are awful. But every woman I know who has had one or definitely needs one was/is very overweight and out of shape. Most women will be able to support her breasts quite comfortably if she keeps her weight down and strengthens her back and stomach muscles.
I'm in the major leagues, chestwise, and sick of snippy comments from smaller-breasted women. They can wear the pretty, flimsy bras and little tops I can't. They can run without a lot of um, instability. They seem to be able to attract plenty of attractive men. Everyone tells them they look fine. But oh no, they wish they were larger... and of course it's society's fault they think so and they can't help it...
I always have to repress the urge to tell them to stick a sock in it (two if necessary), and I've come to realize I don't want to be friends with any woman who is that ridiculously insecure, self-absorbed and trivial.
Although.... for some reason I didn't find Michel anywhere NEAR as annoying as savekaryn and actually just felt amusement over her site. I don't for the life of me understand why.... Desensitization to cyberbegging, likely.
posted by orange swan at 11:57 AM on January 9, 2003
I'm in the major leagues, chestwise, and sick of snippy comments from smaller-breasted women. They can wear the pretty, flimsy bras and little tops I can't. They can run without a lot of um, instability. They seem to be able to attract plenty of attractive men. Everyone tells them they look fine. But oh no, they wish they were larger... and of course it's society's fault they think so and they can't help it...
I always have to repress the urge to tell them to stick a sock in it (two if necessary), and I've come to realize I don't want to be friends with any woman who is that ridiculously insecure, self-absorbed and trivial.
Although.... for some reason I didn't find Michel anywhere NEAR as annoying as savekaryn and actually just felt amusement over her site. I don't for the life of me understand why.... Desensitization to cyberbegging, likely.
posted by orange swan at 11:57 AM on January 9, 2003
I'm in the major leagues, chestwise
Pictures, please?
posted by hincandenza at 3:07 PM on January 9, 2003
Pictures, please?
posted by hincandenza at 3:07 PM on January 9, 2003
Great. Now I've seen this on TWO "news" programs and she's up to almost $500. That's it. I'm going to cyberwhore myself and come up with a cyberbegging site. When I do, I will be sure to post it here.
posted by UrbanFigaro at 3:25 PM on January 9, 2003
posted by UrbanFigaro at 3:25 PM on January 9, 2003
thanks hicandenza you just proved my point. Notice that I mentioned that i too have a small chest....He never asked for pictures of me... (not that I would give them to him) Hicandenza thanks for being so honest. The facts are the facts...
posted by SweetIceT at 3:54 PM on January 9, 2003
posted by SweetIceT at 3:54 PM on January 9, 2003
Well, I was mostly joking in asking for pics, but actually I'm a fiend for large knockers...
I agree with you SweetIceT- while I have no idea if I'm in the norm (I know plenty of my guy friends say "I don't actually like big breasts, I like 'em small"), I sure know that personally, while it's not like I can't find smaller breasted women attractive, I sure loves 'em big! I find it hard to believe that other guys aren't mostly just mouthing what they think are the "correct" things to say when they say they don't care, all the while pulling a muscle in their neck as their head whips around to ogle some chesty girl walking down the street. However, that also might just be because us big boob lovers are fanatical about it, while guys who prefer smaller breasts, or have no preference, just aren't going to be vocal.
But if it makes you feel any better, I'm sure I'd love pictures of your butt. :)
posted by hincandenza at 8:40 PM on January 9, 2003
I agree with you SweetIceT- while I have no idea if I'm in the norm (I know plenty of my guy friends say "I don't actually like big breasts, I like 'em small"), I sure know that personally, while it's not like I can't find smaller breasted women attractive, I sure loves 'em big! I find it hard to believe that other guys aren't mostly just mouthing what they think are the "correct" things to say when they say they don't care, all the while pulling a muscle in their neck as their head whips around to ogle some chesty girl walking down the street. However, that also might just be because us big boob lovers are fanatical about it, while guys who prefer smaller breasts, or have no preference, just aren't going to be vocal.
But if it makes you feel any better, I'm sure I'd love pictures of your butt. :)
posted by hincandenza at 8:40 PM on January 9, 2003
SweetIceTea: You think big boobs are an advantage?
Try being followed by strange men when you are 11 because most people mistake you for 18+. Try getting a paper route at the age of 12 so that you could save up enough money for breast reduction surgery (until I found out what it entails - eew). Try finding summer clothes that don't make you look like either a 10 dollar ho or someone's grandma. Try finding a supportive bra that doesn't have 4 hooks or look like an orthopedic device. Try getting to the age of 30 without major neck & shoulder problems. Try finding a guy who actually likes you and who doesn't automatically assume that you are stupid and slutty.
I'm not saying that there aren't advantages. But as someone who spend the majority of her adult years in men's XXL sweaters so that she could get men to look her in the eye, I can confidently tell you that the minuses often outweigh the plusses. I have to buy dresses to fit my breasts (size 16) instead of my hips (size 10) so I look like I'm wearing maternity clothes. I'm lucky that I'm fairly tall, otherwise I'd look deformed. I would love to have size A cups for a week so I could wear tanktops with spaghetti straps and plunging necklines. And as far as I can tell, men like little boobs just fine - I've been told by more than a few men that my breasts were too big for their tastes. Be happy with what you have.
posted by echolalia67 at 9:57 PM on January 9, 2003
Try being followed by strange men when you are 11 because most people mistake you for 18+. Try getting a paper route at the age of 12 so that you could save up enough money for breast reduction surgery (until I found out what it entails - eew). Try finding summer clothes that don't make you look like either a 10 dollar ho or someone's grandma. Try finding a supportive bra that doesn't have 4 hooks or look like an orthopedic device. Try getting to the age of 30 without major neck & shoulder problems. Try finding a guy who actually likes you and who doesn't automatically assume that you are stupid and slutty.
I'm not saying that there aren't advantages. But as someone who spend the majority of her adult years in men's XXL sweaters so that she could get men to look her in the eye, I can confidently tell you that the minuses often outweigh the plusses. I have to buy dresses to fit my breasts (size 16) instead of my hips (size 10) so I look like I'm wearing maternity clothes. I'm lucky that I'm fairly tall, otherwise I'd look deformed. I would love to have size A cups for a week so I could wear tanktops with spaghetti straps and plunging necklines. And as far as I can tell, men like little boobs just fine - I've been told by more than a few men that my breasts were too big for their tastes. Be happy with what you have.
posted by echolalia67 at 9:57 PM on January 9, 2003
My only point echolalia67 is that if you HAD to have size A cup breasts for longer than a week you would understand. Read my post to McKayc. Why would having breasts below average augmented to (not to enormous proportions) those that better suited your own physical proportions be any different then say having a nose job. If a nose job can make a person feel better about themselves whats wrong with that. I have not endorsed nor would I endorse the proportions that some strippers go to for the sheer attraction of men. Yes I do wear tank tops with spaghetti straps, I do wear plunging necklines but I also wear padded push up bras. I do all of these things just to appear (or feel) more womanly, as in sweaters or other types of clothes I have the figure of a teenage boy. My first point was only that due to my diminutive breast size I too cannot buy lingerie at Victoria's Secret. Can't we just agree that having breast both below and above average have distinct disadvantages? I have merely defended this woman's desire to change her appearance. Do any of you women who say "just appreciate what you have" wear false nails or change thier haircolor? Do you wear makeup at all? Do you have any tattoos or are your ears pierced? What is so wrong with this woman's desire to change her appearance in any way she chooses anyway?
posted by SweetIceT at 10:32 PM on January 9, 2003
posted by SweetIceT at 10:32 PM on January 9, 2003
Frankly, unless you find a really really good sale, everything at Victoria's Secret is seriously overpriced.
posted by JanetLand at 5:09 PM on January 10, 2003
posted by JanetLand at 5:09 PM on January 10, 2003
SweetIceT:Do any of you women who say "just appreciate what you have" wear false nails or change thier haircolor? Do you wear makeup at all? Do you have any tattoos or are your ears pierced?
No fake nails, a little bit of highlighting on the hair, wear make-up infrequently, and I am tattooed/pierced. Here's the difference: hair grows out, make up comes off, and tattoos/piercing merely decorates the skin/exterior. This woman is talking about having surgery done, complete with potential complications from anesthetic, infection, poorly executed surgery, etc.
You wear padded push up bras, I wear "guaranteed to take 2 inches and one cup size off" minimizer bras. I will admit some envy at my more willowy, A/B cup friend's ability to attract men who want to talk to them while I seem to attract the human equivalent of the neighbor's dog who won't stop humping your leg. I guess my point is that I feel that many women who think that getting breast implants will make them more attractive are being sold a bill of goods by an industry that profits by making women feel inadequate.
Looking at this Michele person's picture sans photoshop inhancement, I think she looks great and not unfeminine at all - 34As work well with her height/bone structure. However, she says:
Q7: What happens if the site gets to the $4500 mark?
A7: I will definitely get big tatas (o)(o) !!!
Q3: Do you really think you will gain a penny from your site?
A3: I hope to gain several pennies, and several cup sizes.
Going up a cup size is one thing, but a C/D cup? She's going to look like a mutant! Having disproportionately large ta-tas, I'd love to have size C/B breasts. I'll admit, however, that I'd probably look pretty odd with size A breasts, but I'm 5'8 and I've never seen another woman my height/bone structure who is an A cup.
To sum up, her breasts work nicely with her body type and it seems unnecessarily risky to have surgery just because it'd be nice to be bigger.
posted by echolalia67 at 5:28 PM on January 10, 2003
No fake nails, a little bit of highlighting on the hair, wear make-up infrequently, and I am tattooed/pierced. Here's the difference: hair grows out, make up comes off, and tattoos/piercing merely decorates the skin/exterior. This woman is talking about having surgery done, complete with potential complications from anesthetic, infection, poorly executed surgery, etc.
You wear padded push up bras, I wear "guaranteed to take 2 inches and one cup size off" minimizer bras. I will admit some envy at my more willowy, A/B cup friend's ability to attract men who want to talk to them while I seem to attract the human equivalent of the neighbor's dog who won't stop humping your leg. I guess my point is that I feel that many women who think that getting breast implants will make them more attractive are being sold a bill of goods by an industry that profits by making women feel inadequate.
Looking at this Michele person's picture sans photoshop inhancement, I think she looks great and not unfeminine at all - 34As work well with her height/bone structure. However, she says:
Q7: What happens if the site gets to the $4500 mark?
A7: I will definitely get big tatas (o)(o) !!!
Q3: Do you really think you will gain a penny from your site?
A3: I hope to gain several pennies, and several cup sizes.
Going up a cup size is one thing, but a C/D cup? She's going to look like a mutant! Having disproportionately large ta-tas, I'd love to have size C/B breasts. I'll admit, however, that I'd probably look pretty odd with size A breasts, but I'm 5'8 and I've never seen another woman my height/bone structure who is an A cup.
To sum up, her breasts work nicely with her body type and it seems unnecessarily risky to have surgery just because it'd be nice to be bigger.
posted by echolalia67 at 5:28 PM on January 10, 2003
"C" is very nice; perfect, I would say. All my best souvenirs were "C"s. What's a "C" in Europe?
posted by ParisParamus at 6:52 PM on January 10, 2003
posted by ParisParamus at 6:52 PM on January 10, 2003
Frankly, unless you find a really really good sale, everything at Victoria's Secret is seriously overpriced.
BRING ME LA PERLA.
posted by ParisParamus at 6:54 PM on January 10, 2003
BRING ME LA PERLA.
posted by ParisParamus at 6:54 PM on January 10, 2003
First, do no harm.
*sigh* I always wanted hair like that.
posted by JanetLand at 10:18 AM on January 11, 2003
*sigh* I always wanted hair like that.
posted by JanetLand at 10:18 AM on January 11, 2003
*sigh* I always wanted hair like that.
I love ambiguous irony. Can I keep it?
posted by Opus Dark at 2:03 PM on January 11, 2003
I love ambiguous irony. Can I keep it?
posted by Opus Dark at 2:03 PM on January 11, 2003
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posted by mcsweetie at 1:56 PM on January 8, 2003