URGENT!

January 31, 2003 12:23 PM

Hmm...this one looks genuine: I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH.... THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION.... I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ....
posted by Artifice_Eternity (16 comments total)

BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

Well, at least this part is true.
posted by Bag Man at 12:30 PM on January 31, 2003

sounds legit to me...I'll start drawing up the papers...
posted by jacobsee at 12:33 PM on January 31, 2003

Oh god, I get these things EVERY DAY in my inbox. Sometimes three or four times. Some of them are genius pieces of writing actually. And all for nothing. Who actually writes them? Where do they come from?
posted by feelinglistless at 12:53 PM on January 31, 2003

and what about Naomi?
posted by donpardo at 12:57 PM on January 31, 2003

I don't know...the language in this one is better than G. W. Bush's, but worse than that of his speechwriters. I'm not sending my tithes in yet...
posted by kozad at 1:00 PM on January 31, 2003

feelinglistless: no, you get actual nigerian 419 scam letters. this is a parody of same. :-)
posted by quonsar at 1:01 PM on January 31, 2003

Pretty well done, I'd say, except for the promise of some wonderful payoff for participating. Say, now that I think of it, that's true of the real version too...

In related news, we're now entering the Year of the Sheep. How appropriate.
posted by soyjoy at 1:08 PM on January 31, 2003

...except it's not funny.
posted by mischief at 1:09 PM on January 31, 2003

More in the same genre: 419 letters from Cheney and Laura.
posted by ook at 1:19 PM on January 31, 2003

hmm...
posted by zerofoks at 1:27 PM on January 31, 2003

Can I get in on this investment? Is it like war bonds? The returns could be tremendulous!
posted by Dick Paris at 1:32 PM on January 31, 2003

I always took George W. for someone who would type in all caps.
posted by Hildago at 1:35 PM on January 31, 2003

feelinglistless: no, you get actual nigerian 419 scam letters. this is a parody of same. :-)

Yes, I'm fully aware of that. 'these things' meaning 'things like these things' which doesn't quite sound the same.

Although your link answers my question. Now can you send your bank details as we agreed to I can forward on that $3 million?
posted by feelinglistless at 2:32 PM on January 31, 2003

From: Donald Rumsfeld, Pentagon

Date: January 12, 2003

To: [e-mail];[e-mail];[e-mail];[e-mail];[e-mail];[e-mail];[e-mail];[e-mail];

Subject: IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Are you frustrated that your country is isolated from the world and condemned by the United Nations? Do you want to see the Iraqi people liberated from Saddam's injustice? Are you tired of paying too much for inkjet cartridges?

Here's how you can make $10,000 in your first 30 days! PART TIME! - ...just read on...

If you provide information on weapons of mass destruction or you take steps to hamper their use, you will be TRAINED on USA's #1 turnkey MARKETING STRATEGY!

Be your own boss!

Set your own hours!

Become Financially FREE!

No sales training needed. We will do what is necessary to protect you and protect your families.

If you can make these weapons ineffective then do it. If this is not possible, then at least refuse to follow orders to use weapons of mass destruction. You will help Iraq become a respected member of the international community, and we will show you the secret of how to

Increase Penis SIZE 2-3 inches, NATURALLY!

But if you take part in the use of these ugly weapons, you will be regarded as war criminals, and that will lead to grave personal consequences when Iraq is confronted with the United States and its military forces.

SIZE DOES MATTER!

Iraq's future depends on you. DON'T WAIT UNTIL SHE IS GONE!

P.S.: Lenders will compete for your loan! Look, my beautiful girl friend!

kausfiles special Political commentary and more.
Posted Saturday, January 11, 2003, at 10:13 PM PT
posted by y2karl at 3:11 PM on January 31, 2003

Jeez, how the hell did that happen?
posted by y2karl at 3:12 PM on January 31, 2003

For entertainment purposes only
posted by hockeyman at 5:41 PM on January 31, 2003