I pray this is a joke

April 4, 2003 10:54 AM

Along the same lines of sites designed to get kids to eat more red meat comes the Presidential Prayer Kids website, which instructs the young on how best to support our leader through prayer. This week's lesson instructs the Bush Youth to be faithful, compares them to dogs. "They are showing their faithfulness by obeying the commands they are given and by doing exactly the job they were trained for."
posted by jonson (41 comments total)

I was relieved to see this:

The Presidential Prayer Team is not affiliated with, nor does it receive funding from, any political party or office of the government.
posted by orange swan at 11:03 AM on April 4, 2003

Don't they have filters for this kind of content? Won't somebody think of the children?
posted by pb at 11:13 AM on April 4, 2003

If anyone saying they are from The Presidential Prayer Kids contacts you (other than to respond to your question or request or to send you birthday greetings or updates), please tell your parents or the authorities.
posted by gottabefunky at 11:15 AM on April 4, 2003

God doesn't exist!

There you go, that's my contribution to the discussion.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:36 AM on April 4, 2003

The site is registered to this group, which appears to have a long religion-related client list. It's probably a one-off thing they made up, and not sanctioned by the white house.
posted by mathowie at 11:40 AM on April 4, 2003

I'm calling Godwin on these guys!
posted by nofundy at 11:41 AM on April 4, 2003

~"Do you know what faithfulness is? When you are faithful, you do what you say you will do. You keep the commitments that you have made..."~

LMAO.
It sounds like they should direct their lessons to some of the politicians they're trying to get the kids to pray for, instead.
posted by Blue Stone at 11:58 AM on April 4, 2003

doing exactly the job they were trained for

*grammar wince*
posted by thanotopsis at 12:00 PM on April 4, 2003

God does too exist! However, he suffers from Alzheimer's and has forgotten that we exist!

There you go, that's my contribution to Pretty_Generic's contribution to the discussion, with apologies to Miss Tomlin.
posted by ZachsMind at 12:00 PM on April 4, 2003

"*grammar wince*"

*trigger happy grammar Nazi wince*
posted by y6y6y6 at 12:06 PM on April 4, 2003

My first reaction to the URL was, "PowerPoint Kids?"
posted by me3dia at 12:10 PM on April 4, 2003

Yes kids, you too can be mindless, following puppets of a corrupt organization. Don't speak out and dissent, it's not cool. Dissent isn't cool, its what smelly, dirty hippies do. Do you want to grow up to be a dirty, smelly hippy? No you don't. So love Jesus, and love the President, and do whatever he says. But whatever you do, don't dissent. And pray for those who do dissent, because they are going to hell. A hell that burns, and is horrible, and they will live in anguish because they didn't love George W Bush, who is Jesus Christ, our lord and savior, in a new form, and we must follow him, but never dissent.
posted by benjh at 12:29 PM on April 4, 2003

damn hippies
posted by tiamat at 12:41 PM on April 4, 2003

Cool-2b-real's arch enemy: Pork4Kids.
posted by samuelad at 12:47 PM on April 4, 2003

Me, I'm teaching my kids to kick some ass.
posted by DenOfSizer at 12:48 PM on April 4, 2003

The problem with any God in Government is this:

Whatever the decision or policy, there is no need to explain one's reasoning to anyone, if it is God's will.

Simply choose to do something, say you are acting in God's will, and the 50% of the country that believes Fox News will bend easily, and accordingly.

There is very little work, and almost no need for evidence, reasoning, logic.

Deferring to God from Government is either the sign of a weak mind or of an evil soul.

May God help us.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 12:51 PM on April 4, 2003

my brain hurts from trying to figure out the dark twists of logic this painfully cheery site lays out...let me see if i understand: God wants "us" to be faithful, and follow his commands, and "we" should do so and pray for our national leaders to do the same. so how about that pesky "Thou shalt not kill"? that must be what they mean about the soldiers having "a hard job to do." right. man, i have the christo-fascist creeps in a big way...better check out pork4kids.com...YEAGHH! :-0
posted by serafinapekkala at 12:55 PM on April 4, 2003

More succintly: There are those that are gullible enough to believe that God has a hand in Government, and there are those who invoke God in Government to sway the gullible.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 12:55 PM on April 4, 2003

Is this another "Hey! Let's mock Christians! Stupid Christians!" thread?

HateFilter.
posted by cinderful at 1:07 PM on April 4, 2003

I say let's turn it into a "Hey! Let's mock cinderful. Stupid cinderful and his idiotic web site!" thread.

AnnoyingFilter.
posted by zaack at 1:12 PM on April 4, 2003

Yes. Yes, that's exactly what it is.
posted by jonson at 1:13 PM on April 4, 2003

cinderful - It's not hate. Seriously. Christians are a giggle-fest. We don't hate you. We just think you're silly. But, it's a lot less destructive than other ideologies, so no harm really. If you want to have faith in all that Christian stuff that's fine with me. You go for it with my blessing.
posted by y6y6y6 at 1:16 PM on April 4, 2003

serafinapekkala:

God wants "us" to be faithful, and follow his commands, and "we" should do so and pray for our national leaders to do the same. so how about that pesky "Thou shalt not kill"?

Isn't it strange that Jesus was the ultimate peacenik and people have been butchering each other over the "correct" interpretation of his teachings ever since? Logic and organized religion: two things that never, ever go together.
posted by mark13 at 1:21 PM on April 4, 2003

"just silly"
"a lot less destructive than other ideologies"

You know what they say... it's all fun and games until a born-again unelected dumbard from Texas starts World War 3.
posted by arha at 1:25 PM on April 4, 2003

I am quite an entusiastic christian but I also reckon that any form of religion or religious motivation in politics is just BAD news; for the government, for the religious establishment, for everyone really.
But you have to admit praying for the government is probably one of the least harmful things we subjects can do.

Also, I can definitely see the funny side to religion (Must be cause i'm a Catholic)
posted by Celery at 1:36 PM on April 4, 2003

What is truly sad is to think about the consulting company that convinced the National Pork Board and the America's Beef Producers that it would be fantastic for them to build those websites.

That kind of cheap and dirty way of advertising should be banned!
It's laughable because those sites (I hope) are useless, but... acks! I am outraged!!!
posted by samelborp at 1:51 PM on April 4, 2003

pork4kids.com... anyone else take "pork" as the word's slang meaning?
posted by bingbangbong at 2:02 PM on April 4, 2003

I still think we should make fun of Mormons more often or something.

Or maybe Nihilists.

"We don't care about aannnyyything"


haha zaack. I don't even HAVE a website.
Redmeat quote notwithstanding.
posted by cinderful at 2:03 PM on April 4, 2003

Lord, watch over Halliburton, Bechtel, Raytheon and Lockheed, in this, our hour of need.
posted by PrinceValium at 2:06 PM on April 4, 2003

From the beef for the kiddies site:

Fill in the missing letters:
_AM_URGER

*scratches head*
posted by ColdChef at 2:16 PM on April 4, 2003

As a non-profit, charitable organization, shouldn't they make some effort at bipartisanship when it comes to invoking the deity? Did anyone see any slightest hint of encouragement to pray for a Democrat? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Colin Powell, Andrew Card!!!!

'Scuse me, gotta go pray into the big white porcelain phone . . .
posted by palancik at 2:28 PM on April 4, 2003

haha zaack. I don't even HAVE a website

I believe zaack was referring to the website you list as your URL on your userpage. And I have to agree that is IS idiotic...
posted by jonson at 2:30 PM on April 4, 2003

I AM LURGER?
posted by mr_roboto at 2:37 PM on April 4, 2003

cinderful: I still think we should make fun of Mormons more often or something. Or maybe Nihilists.

How Christ-like of you. Such behavior really makes me want to return to the fold. [/sarcasm]
posted by PsychoKick at 2:57 PM on April 4, 2003

"But you have to admit praying for the government is probably one of the least harmful things we subjects can do."

I am a citizen, not a subject.
posted by nickmark at 2:58 PM on April 4, 2003

Since "Operation Iraqi Freedom" began, you might have felt a little worried or scared. That's okay--lots of boys and girls are feeling that way. But when you stop and remember that our God is faithful, it makes some of those scary feelings go away, doesn't it?

nah, i'm not scared. this planet (nor universe) doesn't matter at all. i'm eternally saved, so let's destroy the Earth for good.

praying for the government may not be (directly) harmful (unless you've got an inside track to God), but it's useless.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:15 PM on April 4, 2003

Regarding that awesome pork4kids site, check out the cool cartoon!.
posted by phatboy at 4:05 PM on April 4, 2003

I'm staying out of these threads from now on. Nothing useful in them.
posted by konolia at 4:47 PM on April 4, 2003

We just think you're silly. But, it's a lot less destructive than other ideologies, so no harm really.

I know I wasn't alive, so I didn't see it first hand... but... the crusades... the Spanish Inquisition (no monty python references, please)....
posted by benjh at 5:19 PM on April 4, 2003

all religion is dumb, and i say that as a smoker that may have asthma!
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 8:08 PM on April 4, 2003

phatboy, you're right, that is a crazy cartoon...

Peggy the Pork Chop opened her eyes and looked around. She was lost. "Where am I?" Peggy wondered, "I remember taking a walk and then I fell asleep under this tree."

Sorry Peggy, there was this little... incident that happened between your walk and now. It's called being slaughtered. Happens all the time. No wonder you can't remember anything.

(OK, back to your regularly scheduled Christians-are-basically-harmless discussion.)
posted by soyjoy at 9:53 AM on April 7, 2003