here froggy, froggy

May 14, 2003 8:14 AM

The Soulmate Calculator tells you how many men or women you'll have to meet to find your soulmate, based on U.S. census figures and some weird theories. That's a lot of frogs to kiss...(via Salon)
posted by serafinapekkala (37 comments total)

Based on my ideal (tall, intelligent, compassionate, funny, energetic, any race, any religion, any location), I got over 2 million. Lowering my standards to just tall and in Massachusetts, I got 202. Great.
posted by serafinapekkala at 8:16 AM on May 14, 2003

You have to meet 461,825,571 heterosexual females

damn. good thing i've already got mine thanks.
posted by th3ph17 at 8:22 AM on May 14, 2003

I got 415 - but since I figure I've already been on more than 200 first dates, that's only about 200 to go.

Yee haaaaaa!!!!!
posted by orange swan at 8:27 AM on May 14, 2003

"You have to meet 43,051 heterosexual females"
posted by angry modem at 8:33 AM on May 14, 2003

Wow, 63 million for me. That's whacked. I've never met that many heterosexual females and yet...I've already found mine.

Methinks they need to tweak their formulas a bit.
posted by Windopaene at 8:34 AM on May 14, 2003

Find out how we are going to solve dating with our revolutionary dating service.

4. Attraction Needs To Be Accurately Judged.
Physical appearance can be judged accurately. Profiles need to be more detailed to give those who are not physically attractive a chance to be attractive.

I am interested in your revolutionary dating service that weeds out the ugly folk. Please let me have more information.


posted by Ufez Jones at 8:42 AM on May 14, 2003

"You have to meet 14,449 heterosexual females"

Great; at my current rate that should take me until sometime in 50,000 AD. I hope she doesn't mind a bit of mould...
posted by Freaky at 8:49 AM on May 14, 2003

I put in information for my wife and got a coefficent of 0... hehehe... That says I'll have to meet 1 person to find what I'm looking for...

Goofy.
posted by psychotic_venom at 8:53 AM on May 14, 2003

You have to meet 63 heterosexual males

I don't have the tolerance to speak to more than one stranger a month so this will take a few years ...
posted by Julnyes at 8:56 AM on May 14, 2003

Mebbe people should just get over corny, pseudo-mystical ideas like soulmates and enjoy just being with people.

But whatev, right.
posted by xmutex at 9:17 AM on May 14, 2003

You have to meet 6,230,067,041 heterosexual females

what's the definition of "meet"?
posted by facapulco at 9:24 AM on May 14, 2003

You have to meet 9 heterosexual females who are between 23 and 34 years old.

They also have to meet these religious requirement(s):
- Atheist
- Agnostic

You might have to move.

Of course, I've already found mine...
posted by bshort at 9:27 AM on May 14, 2003

47,755,783,939.

Beat that.

I didn't realize I was that picky.
posted by dgt at 9:32 AM on May 14, 2003

47,755,783,939.

Beat that.

I didn't realize I was that picky.

Not only picky, but fucked. There aren't near that many people on Earth.
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:36 AM on May 14, 2003

I am interested in your revolutionary dating service that weeds out the ugly folk. Please let me have more information.

Hey, we ugly folk need love, too dammit. I'll even tie a pork chop round my neck so your dog will like me...:)
posted by jonmc at 9:42 AM on May 14, 2003

1,348,773,769,904 women to meet.

Jesus, I guess I've been really lucky this past decade.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:58 AM on May 14, 2003

I only had to meet one.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:59 AM on May 14, 2003

From their "dating service" faq:

3. Membership Acquisition Cost Is Nothing.
The solution does not require television commercials or millions of dollars in advertisement to attract members. It has to be so good that it will spread through word-of- mouth.

Much better to have people laughing with you than at you.
posted by 4easypayments at 10:09 AM on May 14, 2003

Because I was initially confused about the percentile rankings, I only have to meet 8 people to find my soulmate. Of course she will likely be hideous and untalented... but then again that's apparently the way I likes 'em!
posted by Hildago at 10:15 AM on May 14, 2003

Like Hildago, I went for really ugly and moronic people. 2207. Great. I was depressed enough about that one. Then I figured it out. 47,931,082,427,598. Thankfully, I've already found my girl. /me breathes a deep sigh of relief.
posted by cryosis at 10:31 AM on May 14, 2003

Like some of you lucky souls I've already found my soul mate. Her name is Scotch and she's 12 years old.
posted by Hildago at 10:44 AM on May 14, 2003

Tactics To Reduce Your Risk of Being Dumped: Pursue people who are shy, unattractive, or unwanted.

Requisite Jimmy Soul link (warning-- dancing Janet Reno).
posted by G_Ask at 10:48 AM on May 14, 2003

There is a simple fallacy in the logic that may make the road to finding this soul mate more er, ...strenuous. The algorithm relies on a basic premise that all potential mates are rational, and have no underlying mental illness to effect their judgement. They do make an allowance for "...people can have sex without being in love..."; therefore, your result may include a large number of sexual addicts. Be prepared to have to have a lot of people to get to the lovers.
posted by xtian at 10:59 AM on May 14, 2003

Useless. Where do I specify potbellied, flat chested, left handed, and a smoker?
posted by punilux at 11:05 AM on May 14, 2003

Hey punilux, I've been right here the whole time!!!

A question:

Do I just have to meet them all or sleep with them all?
posted by aacheson at 11:07 AM on May 14, 2003

punilex, for that you can just start up your own website and advertise. Or head over to the bowling alley in any small town.
posted by orange swan at 11:15 AM on May 14, 2003

Love is a function of timing and geography. Anyone who says different is selling something.
posted by Cyrano at 11:17 AM on May 14, 2003 [1 favorite]

81,089,774,078. I repeat, 81,089,774,078. That's a lot of women.
I may just die alone with many cats...
posted by Jughead at 11:22 AM on May 14, 2003

according to the lurve-ulator; I only have to meet one hetereosexual male to find a Buddhist/Taoist American Indian who is 7 feet, 11 inches tall, aged 110 to 120 who has never been married and scores in the top 1% of everything (oh yeah, and in my town, too). So, it should be a snap... Anybody? Anybody?
posted by taz at 11:48 AM on May 14, 2003

You have to meet 1 homosexual males who are between 18 and 45 years old who are living in the United States or are willing to move there.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Either I'm easier than Messalina, or this thing is very broken.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:20 PM on May 14, 2003

Either I'm easier than Messalina, or this thing is very broken.

I got the same answer in a man seeking woman kinda way. I was too ashamed to fess up tho, so I thank you for breaking the seal.

I have always kinda felt that almost any two people are compatible if they have the right attitude. The idea of their being one right person is just a bit of spiritual nonsense from my perspective.
posted by thirteen at 1:46 PM on May 14, 2003

Hehe. I asked for: someone between 19 and 25, in the top 5% IQ, top 10% EQ. Two qualities which, under normal circumstances, are seemingly mutually exclusive. I asked for other things, too.

Result? I have to meet one (1) heterosexual female. I think it's broken.
posted by gd779 at 2:38 PM on May 14, 2003

I love this site. It manages to depress everyone.
Number too low? You have no class.
Number too high? Why don't you just go back to your basement to watch some more porn? That's right, there, there...

Of course, I do find it amusing that my ex has to meet over a trillion people and I supposedly only have to meet "18 heterosexual males". (And here I had been thinking I was overly picky for breaking up with him...)

ah the internet...getting it all wrong since when?
posted by jann at 6:37 PM on May 14, 2003

Only 66 heterosexual men between 23-37 to meet. That's better than I expected.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:47 PM on May 14, 2003

7,197 heterosexual females aged 19-30 needed for sociological experiment. ugly, untalented chicks need not apply.
posted by juv3nal at 12:01 AM on May 15, 2003

Ahem.

And here I had been thinking I was overly picky for breaking up with him.

Here's a can of worms and a can opener. But are you sure that's what you wanted for breakfast?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:04 AM on May 15, 2003

Maybe a '1' could also mean: "The person you are looking for doesn't exist. Grab whoever comes along first and try to make the most of it!"
posted by cell at 10:10 AM on May 15, 2003