Female Merit Badges

June 5, 2003 7:42 PM

OK girls, what have you done to earn a merit badge? Learned about underarm hair or menstrual cramps? Made it through a preganancy test? And boys, what have you done to earn your merit badges?
posted by alms (14 comments total)

oh hell no.
posted by euphrosyne at 9:23 PM on June 5, 2003

Marksmanship.
posted by tss at 9:31 PM on June 5, 2003

When I was a Cub Scout I ate a Brownie.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:43 PM on June 5, 2003

Surveyed land, capsized canoes, attended town council meetings, set up a cross-country orienteering course, analyzed news stories, wrote a resume, got certified in CPR, and truth be told, a lot of really lame stuff.
posted by Vidiot at 9:57 PM on June 5, 2003

Solid link. Jesus, if the boy scouts offered equivalent badges for say, frequent masturbation, I'd be a, hell, I don't know, what eats Eagles?
posted by vito90 at 10:04 PM on June 5, 2003

Terrorists.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:09 PM on June 5, 2003

When I was a Cub Scout I ate a Brownie.
Hmmmm, you may want to rephrase that.
posted by dg at 10:51 PM on June 5, 2003

When I was a cub scout I decided to go though the entire book and do all the ones that were easy. Needless to say the next meeting I had like 40 checkmarks added. And I don't think they believed me... I quit shortly after, and yes, I did them ALL. :(
posted by andryeevna at 11:09 PM on June 5, 2003

haha, these cracked me up. Great find, alms!
posted by madamjujujive at 4:23 AM on June 6, 2003

These are great. Just wish I could order the individual patches to put on my rucksack...it might motivate me to learn to walk in high heels without looking like a freshman fraternity pledge.
posted by hilatron at 4:34 AM on June 6, 2003

I heave-hoed myself from Scouts. In order to get any of the interesting badges I had to first earn the Religion in Life badge. I could never do it, which meant that I couldn't get any of the other badges so I just quit.

I didn't know that Boy Scouts was a pseudo-religious organization at the time, I thought it was just because we were using the churches community center. I've been asked since a couple of times to help lead a troop but I've made it pretty clear that I don't join organizations that discriminate.
posted by substrate at 4:51 AM on June 6, 2003

Shouldn't there be a badge for surviving your first yeast or urinary-tract infection? A major rite of female passage, fer shure.
posted by MrBaliHai at 6:21 AM on June 6, 2003

Badge, schmadge. In my grrrrlscout troupe, we got freaking tats, man. Kids today.
posted by DenOfSizer at 8:06 AM on June 6, 2003

For Boys:

the Nocturnal Emissions badge

the Sorry-Ms-Johnson-But-I-Can't-Stand-Up-At-The-Blackboard-Right-Now badge

the Size and Girth Inferiority badge

the Peter Brady "Time to Cha-ange" badge

the Rounding-Second-Heading-for-Home badge

the No-Billy-That's-Not-It-That's-Not-It-Either-Do-You-Want-Me-to-Show-You-Hurry-My-Parents-Will-Be-Home-Any-Minute badge
posted by jpoulos at 10:38 AM on June 6, 2003