Our skulls collide, mine remains the victor
September 16, 2003 2:09 PM Subscribe
The Cybersexual Adventures of J-Dogg
J-Dogg: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: Oh, I like to play dress up.
J-Dogg: Me too baby.
BritneySpears27: I kiss you softly on your chest.
J-Dogg: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears27: Hey...
J-Dogg: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
(via Harpers)
J-Dogg: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: Oh, I like to play dress up.
J-Dogg: Me too baby.
BritneySpears27: I kiss you softly on your chest.
J-Dogg: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears27: Hey...
J-Dogg: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
(via Harpers)
I was on the fence until this
Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
J-dogg:You can't hurry good pizza.
when I lost it - yeah, that's right, all over the keyboard, biatch.
posted by soyjoy at 2:16 PM on September 16, 2003
Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
J-dogg:You can't hurry good pizza.
when I lost it - yeah, that's right, all over the keyboard, biatch.
posted by soyjoy at 2:16 PM on September 16, 2003
Is this actually linked from Harper's online? I saw it in the print edition but don't see it linked online. Is the print edition what your [via] was meant to indicate?
posted by scarabic at 2:22 PM on September 16, 2003
posted by scarabic at 2:22 PM on September 16, 2003
I thought it might be too, vito. Harper's is usually behind the curve when it comes to online things.
That being said, I couldn't find it under the search terms "J-dogg," "cybersex" or "cock of the infinite."
On preview to scarabic: Yes, I only saw it in the print edition.
posted by Ljubljana at 2:25 PM on September 16, 2003
That being said, I couldn't find it under the search terms "J-dogg," "cybersex" or "cock of the infinite."
On preview to scarabic: Yes, I only saw it in the print edition.
posted by Ljubljana at 2:25 PM on September 16, 2003
Best unintentionally funny line:
"Grain doesn't really turn me on."
posted by Gilbert at 2:44 PM on September 16, 2003
"Grain doesn't really turn me on."
posted by Gilbert at 2:44 PM on September 16, 2003
J-Dogg: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fuking charge your ass.
sexysusan: Stop, c'mon be serious.
J-Dogg: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
*ROFL*
posted by homunculus at 2:49 PM on September 16, 2003
sexysusan: Stop, c'mon be serious.
J-Dogg: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
*ROFL*
posted by homunculus at 2:49 PM on September 16, 2003
J-Dogg: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
J-Dogg: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
J-Dogg: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
J-Dogg: Baby?
woof.
posted by quonsar at 3:01 PM on September 16, 2003
J-Dogg: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
J-Dogg: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
J-Dogg: Baby?
woof.
posted by quonsar at 3:01 PM on September 16, 2003
vito, it's not a double-post. I linked to it in a comment back when it was originally on /. It pretty much justifies the Internet in my opinion.
posted by yerfatma at 3:29 PM on September 16, 2003
posted by yerfatma at 3:29 PM on September 16, 2003
Good times, good times.
posted by RylandDotNet at 3:30 PM on September 16, 2003
posted by RylandDotNet at 3:30 PM on September 16, 2003
J-Dogg: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
J-Dogg: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
That's some salad you got there, but I'll pass on the dressing.
posted by jonmc at 3:58 PM on September 16, 2003
Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
J-Dogg: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
That's some salad you got there, but I'll pass on the dressing.
posted by jonmc at 3:58 PM on September 16, 2003
This kind of thing is exactly why I started visiting metafilter in the first place. Brilliant.
posted by Samsonov14 at 4:12 PM on September 16, 2003
posted by Samsonov14 at 4:12 PM on September 16, 2003
You can't get enough BloodNinja.
(that was supposed to be a link above)
posted by bigschmoove at 5:01 PM on September 16, 2003
(that was supposed to be a link above)
posted by bigschmoove at 5:01 PM on September 16, 2003
Thanks Peter H and bigschmoove. It's not like I had work to do or anything.
posted by yerfatma at 5:24 PM on September 16, 2003
posted by yerfatma at 5:24 PM on September 16, 2003
There's some more J-Dogg here (slightly NSFW ad at bottom).
posted by yerfatma at 5:46 PM on September 16, 2003
posted by yerfatma at 5:46 PM on September 16, 2003
man, nothing like trying to not laugh out loud but having those little muffle giggles annoy everyone else in the room.
thanx. i loved it.
posted by Stynxno at 5:54 PM on September 16, 2003
thanx. i loved it.
posted by Stynxno at 5:54 PM on September 16, 2003
I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
sauron is screwed
posted by poopy at 6:20 PM on September 16, 2003
sauron is screwed
posted by poopy at 6:20 PM on September 16, 2003
I remember when these were first posted on the Pitchfork Media Smackdown. Dr. Ninjaforkian was a genius, sadly he is MIA.
posted by noisemartyr at 3:42 AM on September 17, 2003
posted by noisemartyr at 3:42 AM on September 17, 2003
Oh My God, why didn't I read this sooner? I'm nearly crying, and I've got my face pressed up close to the monitor so my coworkers don't see me stifling my laughter!
Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
posted by Shane at 5:57 AM on September 17, 2003
Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
posted by Shane at 5:57 AM on September 17, 2003
Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy...
My coworker: Somebody's havin' fun over there...
posted by soyjoy at 7:30 AM on September 17, 2003
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy...
My coworker: Somebody's havin' fun over there...
posted by soyjoy at 7:30 AM on September 17, 2003
A friend and I took on the personalities of Hungbig and Sexgoddess and went to various chatrooms with this kind of show. . .the tension and suspense built and built to dizzying heights, only to leave Hungbig let down yet again, to retire to his bed and his Carly Simon poster on the ceiling above.
It was some of the best fun I have ever had on the net.
posted by Danf at 7:51 AM on September 17, 2003
It was some of the best fun I have ever had on the net.
posted by Danf at 7:51 AM on September 17, 2003
Oh all this stifled giggling made my eyes water and my mascara run (LSHMYWAMMR)... my oh my. Thank you.
posted by jennyb at 8:13 AM on September 17, 2003
posted by jennyb at 8:13 AM on September 17, 2003
hilarious. (and like others, after reading it my first thought was "via HARPERS?!")
posted by jcruelty at 1:30 PM on September 18, 2003
posted by jcruelty at 1:30 PM on September 18, 2003
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posted by vito90 at 2:15 PM on September 16, 2003