"We are certain that we have succeeded. The story is yours now, to ponder, research, and prepare for."

November 23, 2003 3:59 PM

"Dear [katemonkey], I just wanted to drop you a note as to what's happening here in America. The Matrix Trilogy is the latest GROSS thievery by the Hollywood/government in regards to the website www.hammerstrikes.com. The blatant outright and undeniable thievery is ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS! Surely the truth is getting out and suing for millions and millions is the only appropriate and proper course of action. Sincerely, Joe Messineo"
posted by Katemonkey (19 comments total)

This was a piece of spam I got today. I've been hitting all the pages on the site, and I haven't found a "buy now" button yet, but being that my head has exploded all over the place with The Theory, it's possible I've missed something.
posted by Katemonkey at 4:00 PM on November 23, 2003

uhm, thanks for sharing your spam with us?
posted by xmutex at 4:08 PM on November 23, 2003

This site is obviously the work of a lunatic. Visiting a website advertised by unsolicicted email is a lousy idea - it only encourages the spammers. On preview, what xmutex said.
posted by cbrody at 4:17 PM on November 23, 2003

I started reading the manifesto on that site and it was pretty clear to me, a few paragraphs in, that these people are looney.
posted by tomorama at 4:26 PM on November 23, 2003

Metafilter = Your community mental hospital brought to your door
posted by tiamat at 4:44 PM on November 23, 2003

Come on, now... Metafilter does have a fine and noble tradition of posting lunatic crackpot conspiracy websites for us all to mock. It allows us to jeer at other people instead of turning on each other.
posted by Johnny Assay at 4:45 PM on November 23, 2003

Just another timecube denier! Moron!
posted by Jimbob at 5:22 PM on November 23, 2003

But now that the JFK Conspiracy Theory is dead (see previous thread), we need something to believe in...
Thank you, katemonkey.
I'm going to pay dearly for my sarcasm, I know...
posted by wendell at 5:25 PM on November 23, 2003

Are Bill Willingham's Clockwork Storybook stories online anywhere? I keep being reminded of them. Last week it was Michael Jackson and the Peter Pan thing (the first Middle Man story Middle Man has Our Hero negotiating the release of two children from Neverland). This week it's The Hammer and Willingham's story 100% Recycled Material. It would be great if I could link to these and share them with you. (Did I mention I'm reading Hero with a Thousand Faces too? Please tell me I'm going crazy so I can relax and enjoy the ride.)
posted by wobh at 5:27 PM on November 23, 2003

"It allows us to jeer at other people instead of turning on each other."

Can we do both?
posted by spazzm at 6:21 PM on November 23, 2003

wobh: "Repeat to yourself 'It's just a show, I should really just relax'" - MST3K
posted by wendell at 6:40 PM on November 23, 2003

Crazy. But then again, not all conspiracies are the product of mental instability. Sometimes they're real...

This stuff reads like Philip K. Dick, albeit at a somewhat tamer level than his own nutty sci-fi paranoid genius ramblings.
posted by ashbury at 6:48 PM on November 23, 2003

I'm inspired by all of yours committment to ideas to get through all of that Broadway font.

Couldn't they have used Comic Sans?
posted by donp17 at 7:37 PM on November 23, 2003

"Dear Joe Messino,

Perhaps you ought to think about laying off the crack-pipe for a little while, eh?

Sincerely,
metaxa"
posted by metaxa at 2:51 AM on November 24, 2003

Let's give Joe his props--his ramblings are far more coherent than your average paranoid schizophrenic, and his worldview has a kind of naive beauty to it. He's at the center of an all-or-nothing battle between the forces of good and evil. Paul McCartney wrote an entire album about him. Finnegan's Wake apparently prefigured him. It takes brains and moxie to find yourself at the center of the struggle between good and evil in a relentlessly mediocre world, folks, and Joe has done a bang-up job. Give credit where due.
posted by vraxoin at 7:45 AM on November 24, 2003

does the Theory mention penis enlargement as well?


oh, and what xmutex said


posted by matteo at 8:54 AM on November 24, 2003

I've dealt with a few schizoids. They deserve pity, not condemnation or mocking.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:31 AM on November 24, 2003

Johnny Assay: "It allows us to jeer at other people instead of turning on each other."

Doesn't do a very good job of that though.

If this guy thinks the Wachowski brothers stole from him, he needs to get in line. They stole from Star Wars, Star Trek, Vertigo, The Wild Bunch, Superman, Alice in Wonderland, Heavy Metal, Doctor Who, The Karate Kid, Brazil, Road House, The Wizard of Oz, Sleeping Beauty, every Akira Kurosawa film in existence, the list may be finite but it's also looong. ...Oh, and also pretty much every theology on the planet is in there somewhere, although it's obvious the brothers were most influenced by Christianity.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:52 AM on November 24, 2003

I've dealt with a few schizoids. They deserve pity, not condemnation or mocking.

Everyone on the Internet deserves condemnation or mocking, that's why its the great equalizer.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 2:46 PM on November 24, 2003