Didn't that used to be a Pizza Hut?

January 14, 2004 11:29 AM

Not Fooling Anybody What happens when your local Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, or Planet Hollywood goes out of business and is taken over by a lesser-known or less-well-funded business? Bad storefront conversions that's what. :: via Satan's Laundromat ::
posted by anastasiav (36 comments total)

wow. aside from hungry howie and subway, i have never seen or heard of any of these eateries.
posted by quonsar at 11:37 AM on January 14, 2004

I've been wanting to drive around and do a photo essay like this for ages. There's a former 7-11 near Petersburg, VA that is now a lingerie shop. There's more edible items there now than before.
posted by machaus at 11:38 AM on January 14, 2004

John Robinson hipped me to some amazing developments along these lines, on Atlanta's Buford Highway. It seems that failed national chain outlets have been resurrected as restaurants and other appurtenances of the immigrant Mexican, Korean, Dominican, Vietnamese and Indian communities.

I had some fantastic bibimbop in a former Arby's, for example. It felt vigorous. I hope John publishes his Buford articles soon.
posted by adamgreenfield at 11:46 AM on January 14, 2004

Yeah, thse people are clearly a bunch of biters.

Not paying thousands upon thousands of dollars to markedly distinguish themselves from the previous tenants! Can you imagine the nerve of these independent entrepeneurs trying to cut corners and just get their store off the ground?
posted by jon_kill at 11:48 AM on January 14, 2004

There is a converted Hardee's that is now the Peking chinese restaurant in Augusta, GA. It is known to everyone here as the Peking Hardee's. There are several others that come to mind here too. I might just grab my camera this weekend and take a tour.
posted by TedW at 11:51 AM on January 14, 2004

jon_kill, right on. This just feels snarky for the sake of snarky.
posted by agregoli at 12:08 PM on January 14, 2004

I don't think the theme of the site is inappropriate, but some of the examples pictured there are far less cheap/tacky/obvious than many I've seen in my neightborhood.

Around L.A., there used to be a chain of "Foster's Donuts" that all went indy and, almost to a one, went for the most minimalist change in signage they could. The most effective: "Father's Donuts (two new letters and move one)". The cheapest: "Poster's Donuts (altering the F to a P)".

Taco Bell and Arby's both have the bad habit of moving locations instead of remodeling, leaving behind a legion of familiar looking fast food stands, too many of which with "Teriyaki" in their names...

But if you want to see a strange conversion, at the corner of Victory and Coldwater is a Starbucks that used to be a free-standing Bank of America branch. Of course, I'm sure Starbucks can use the vault. (Another ex-bank on Ventura near Laurel Canyon was converted first to a Nathan's Hot Dogs, and failing at that, to KooKooRoo Chicken)

And growing up in the land of Carl's Jr., seeing the matching 'happy star' logo on a far-away Hardee's emits the same response from me.
posted by wendell at 12:13 PM on January 14, 2004

That said, it is perhaps best that we look at this phenomenon as a delightful yet sad part of our culture's clattering landscape.

If the reuse of former franchise buildings makes you sad, perhaps I need to give you something to cry about.

jon_kill: hear, hear.
posted by 4easypayments at 12:14 PM on January 14, 2004

Here in Chicago (home to this monstrosity) a surprising number of abandoned fast food chains end up converted into auto loan/insurance places. I can't say I'd have much confidence in an insurance agency with a drive-in window.
posted by me3dia at 12:23 PM on January 14, 2004

there used to be a Rally's, about a mile away from where I live. the building and colors were kept, and the place was turned into a drive-thru beeper factory.

now they sell used cars there.
posted by lotsofno at 12:26 PM on January 14, 2004

jon_kill, agregoli, 4easypayments... boy, you folks are just happy, happy, happy all the time, aren't you?

I mean, KEmbassy Cleaners has to at least get a mild chuckle from you, doesn't it? Or are you just totally humourless? Yes, some (possibly most) are cutting corners just to get their business off the ground (well, maybe not that Pizza Hut Subway location), but that doesn't make it any less absurd. I felt no meanspirited intentions from the site, and I'm surprised others would immediately jump to that conclusion.

There is joy in the world, folks.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 1:04 PM on January 14, 2004

Here in Chicago (home to this monstrosity) a surprising number of abandoned fast food chains end up converted into auto loan/insurance places. I can't say I'd have much confidence in an insurance agency with a drive-in window.

Lemme guess - you mean the former Checker's at Broadway & Devon, right? Cracks me up everytime I see it.
posted by dnash at 1:24 PM on January 14, 2004

John Robinson hipped me to some amazing developments along these lines, on Atlanta's Buford Highway. It seems that failed national chain outlets have been resurrected as restaurants and other appurtenances of the immigrant Mexican, Korean, Dominican, Vietnamese and Indian communities.

Buford Highway is home to my favorite example of this... a Baskin Robbins' Ice Cream closed down, was bought by an Indian family, and reopened under the name "Basket Rabbit Ice Cream".

The ice cream is terrible, by the way.
posted by BobFrapples at 2:00 PM on January 14, 2004

GhostInTheMachine: Just because I don't find some a-wipes with a camera mocking modern architecture and belittling small businesspeople funny, doesn't mean that I don't know that "there is joy in the world, folks."

As for the "meanspirited intentions", they're various and sundry. I'm not gonna detail them. I responded only because it sucks to get shit on for not laughing at a lame joke, or, even worse, pointing out the small worldview one would need to have to find the majority of this site funny.

I also didn't find "What's Up, Tiger Lily" funny either. Any invectives coming my way?
posted by jon_kill at 2:10 PM on January 14, 2004

Good post, anastasiav...thanks for the laugh.
posted by vito90 at 2:34 PM on January 14, 2004

Just another tragic tale of the de-Walmartisation of America.

Let us all have a moment of silence.
posted by arto at 2:38 PM on January 14, 2004

what a fucking depressing site.
posted by donkeyschlong at 2:42 PM on January 14, 2004

Gino's East in Chicago was the first place I thought of when I saw the link. So glad to see it was included!

Here where I live we have two rental car places (Enterprise and Hertz) which are converted Burger King and Wendy's restaurants, right near each other. In Bloomington, IN, where I went to school, we have a Taco Bell that moved down the street to a former Hardee's, and there is a Chinese restaurant (I think) in the former Taco Bell.
posted by SisterHavana at 2:53 PM on January 14, 2004

I'm surprised no one here has yet labelled that site 'racist'.
posted by mischief at 3:29 PM on January 14, 2004

I wonder if this practice leaves the new owners vunerable to lawsuits? I can't see McDonalds letting some random guy open a burger place called McRonald's in an old McDonald's location.
posted by keswick at 3:51 PM on January 14, 2004

Basket Rabbit Ice Cream. Snerkity snerk snerk.

I can't see McDonalds letting some random guy open a burger place called McRonald's in an old McDonald's location.

Or a MacDougal's, for that matter. (Is it wrong to reference Coming to America?)

I think this practice is funny and lame and What Makes This Country Great!!

:)
posted by jengod at 3:58 PM on January 14, 2004

One of the funniest conversions I've seen was an old Royal Canadian Legion building converted to a church on Denison Rd., Toronto, near where I live. I figure they must have had to rip out the bar first thing.
posted by orange swan at 4:22 PM on January 14, 2004

I happen to like some of these minimalist storefront conversions. There's a former Howard Johnson's on Front Street in Harrisburg, PA that switched from being a HoJo's to a Chinese restaurant to one of the more upscale Indian restaurants in the area. I thought the fluorescent orange plastic rooftop made the place unique. And besides who would want to destroy the roof of an old Howard Johnson's? That would be downright unAmurrican!
posted by jonp72 at 4:24 PM on January 14, 2004

I think this practice is funny and lame and what makes this country great!!

Amen!
posted by Guy Smiley at 4:47 PM on January 14, 2004

Also in Chicago -- that Blockbuser Video in the old IHOP in Wicker Park.

Old IHOPs are the funniest because there is nothing you can do to change the faux-chalet A-frame construction.
posted by Mid at 4:57 PM on January 14, 2004

I love the Kembass Cleaners one. Especially the half-assed attempt to cover the Y.
posted by smackfu at 5:24 PM on January 14, 2004

I can understand jon_kill's point of view. There's a wonderful local restaurant here that was in the same place for twenty years, and got pushed out due to a greedy landlord who wanted to rent the space to the government. They're now in an old KFC building with less parking and table space, and a smaller kitchen... in short, the KFC place sucks, but it was the best they could do. They'll probably be stuck there for another twenty years, too, because with the smaller space they can't sell enough to move to a larger location. The owners have to make do with what they've got; it seems like adding insult to injury to make fun of a building that they never wanted in the first place.

This said, the Kembass Cleaners photo is hysterical. They didn't even bother to match colors on the block that goes over the "y", they just stuck a black box up onto a white sign. And even with the additional "K", it still doesn't seem to spell anything. It's totally absurd, and therefore hilarious. That's the thing about humor - sometimes a joke can be mean and unfair, but still funny... and this site is definitely funny to me.
posted by vorfeed at 5:29 PM on January 14, 2004

Ghostinthemachine: I don't mean to be a sourpuss about this. It's just that this site could have been very amusing if it hadn't taken such a condescending tone. "Fast Food Restaurants in the Witness Protection Program" could have been funny. "The Secret Life of Franchise Architecture" could have been interesting. "Small Business Owners Are Tacky and Low Class" just rubs me the wrong way.
posted by 4easypayments at 5:30 PM on January 14, 2004

How I wish my photoshop skills were up to "Dumbass Cleaners". It's so so close...
posted by inpHilltr8r at 6:44 PM on January 14, 2004

Old IHOPs are the funniest because there is nothing you can do to change the faux-chalet A-frame construction.

There's a comedian who did a bit about this because his accountant's office was once an IHOP. He joked tht he always felt compelled to ask his CPA for a rooti-tooti-fresh-n-fruity. Rather than a faux-chalet, however, the IHOP design was referred to as the "temple of paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaancakes" which seems oddly appropos. It does have some faux church stylings of some kind going on. "Worship the short stack! Bow before it!"
posted by Dreama at 10:45 PM on January 14, 2004 [1 favorite]

The criticism of the architectural similarities seems a little petty and unrealistic [eg. the Dairy Queens]. Businesses can hardly be required to demolish a site's previous building and start from scratch.

The rip-off trade names are an entirely different matter - the Country Style Donut knock-offs and the Hasty Market fakes. That's really low and untrustworthy. I know I'd never shop in such a place; how could you trust the store owner not to con you on the produce inside?

Antifreeze Vodka, anyone? Heins Beans?
posted by Blue Stone at 2:21 AM on January 15, 2004

jon_kill "...it sucks to get shit on for... pointing out the small worldview one would need to have to find... this site funny."

OK, not sure if I'm misinterpreting you or not. I've edited your comment down to clarify what I saw as its main point. If I'm wrong on that, ignore the rest of this.

So in order to think this site is funny, one would have to have a small worldview? I'd say you are the one with the limited world view.

See, from my perspective, these are just exteriors. It's amusing to see how people have adapted the designs of previous, far-too-familiar, tenants to their own needs. And yes, in some cases it's out of necessity - the necessity of just getting a business started, or as vorfeed pointed out, keeping it alive. And you know what? It's still OK to laugh at that. It's OK to smile, chuckle, or otherwise find humour or amusement in the new tenant's business replacing something iconic, with vestiges of the iconography remaining. Because you're not laughing at the business, just the building. If you're small enough to not frequent that business solely because of the replaced iconography, then there's a problem.

And as I said, there's a Pizza Hut that was converted to a Subway on the site... hardly a "small" business.

So forgive me if I continue to find humour in the world as I enjoy a great meal at the Pizzazz Hut, or some other such alteration. Because my world is big enough to include humour and respect.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 6:32 AM on January 15, 2004

great post! I love it!
posted by ParisParamus at 6:33 AM on January 15, 2004

GhostInTheMachine: 5 very tiresome paragraphs later, I still don't care.
posted by jon_kill at 7:02 AM on January 15, 2004

Ah, I see. I'll just ignore you from now on (and trust you'll do the same for me). Thanks for clearing that up.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 1:12 PM on January 15, 2004

Hey hold on a minute - I live a block away from that Kembass(y) Cleaners, and truth be told on the other side of the building (corner lot) they've put up their own sign, no trace of Embassy.

If they got this I'm kind of surprised they didn't find the 'Coffee Tip' (same logo, font as Coffee Time in a Coffee Time location) a few blocks down. They also deserve props for being open and candlelit over the course of the blackout in the summer, thereby being the first candlelit fast-food style eatery I've had the chance to go to.
posted by syscom at 1:49 PM on January 17, 2004