Terrifying Fish

March 1, 2004 12:04 PM

Terrifying gallery of fish from the deep, DEEP seas.
posted by jonson (71 comments total)

I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure these are all movie props.
posted by y6y6y6 at 12:08 PM on March 1, 2004

...wow
posted by sixtwenty3dc at 12:09 PM on March 1, 2004

Aaargh!
posted by chrid at 12:11 PM on March 1, 2004

Great..just got the heeby-jeebies.
posted by fijiwriter at 12:15 PM on March 1, 2004

Yikes. That chimaera!
posted by hama7 at 12:15 PM on March 1, 2004

Urgh..
posted by Orange Goblin at 12:18 PM on March 1, 2004

Loved it. Thanks!
posted by agregoli at 12:19 PM on March 1, 2004

I wonder how they'd taste grilled.
posted by orange swan at 12:20 PM on March 1, 2004

If you think the pictures are scary, you should see 'em moving. Go watch the Deep episode of the BBC's Blue Planet.

It'll leave you floored when they finally get to the "lake", it'll also remind you that sci-fi writers could stand to be a little more imaginative.
posted by malphigian at 12:27 PM on March 1, 2004

[This is good]
posted by soundofsuburbia at 12:28 PM on March 1, 2004

I wonder how they'd taste grilled.

Just like pollock, no doubt.
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:31 PM on March 1, 2004

AUGH! Some of those are just WRONG. The Lizardfish, and the Chimaera and the "Blob" are just...I'll never get to sleep tonight. Great post.
posted by biscotti at 12:35 PM on March 1, 2004

[this is creepy]
posted by chicobangs at 12:36 PM on March 1, 2004

Ack! I'm scared. Hold me.

Jonson, as usual, great post. Even if I won't be able to sleep EVER AGAIN.
posted by bedhead at 12:37 PM on March 1, 2004

Wow, wow, a thousand times wow. Thanks dood.
posted by vito90 at 12:43 PM on March 1, 2004

How do they raise them to the surface without them exploding?

Oh, and great link.
posted by kickingtheground at 12:45 PM on March 1, 2004

Very interesting. Thanks Jonson. Goes along well with Tony Bourdain's "A Cook's Tour.
posted by azul at 12:46 PM on March 1, 2004

Ah, the horrors of the briny deep... fascinating and excellent!
posted by scody at 12:48 PM on March 1, 2004

These are obvious fakes. Next thing you'll be telling me you have movies of cats with human hands.
posted by gwint at 1:00 PM on March 1, 2004

and i thought my last haircut made me look scary
posted by tsarfan at 1:01 PM on March 1, 2004

Why oh why must they have so many TEETH?!?
posted by Ogre Lawless at 1:17 PM on March 1, 2004

I am glad that, should I fall unequipped into the ocean, I would be long dead before I was face to face with any of these guys.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:18 PM on March 1, 2004

I love this. It helps makes one aware of the great variety of species that exist on this planet. Forget extraterrestrials -- there's a whole world down there that we boring humans know nothing about. It's like another planet, almost -- but it's right here on Earth.

*waxes spiritually*

*wanes*
posted by Tin Man at 1:45 PM on March 1, 2004

Ia! Ia!
posted by Busithoth at 1:52 PM on March 1, 2004

Does anyone else think it's weird how we can acheive space flight with relative ease compared to deep sea exploration?
posted by agregoli at 1:56 PM on March 1, 2004

Perhaps it's more that we just haven't made the same level of effort to explore the deep sea.
posted by orange swan at 2:03 PM on March 1, 2004

Thanks. I still remember a book I had as a child just because of the two-page spread on the fish of the Mariana's Trench. They looked like nothing that belonged on the same planet as me. The fish that had the light over his head (who later got a small role in Finding Nemo) kep me awake for years.
posted by yerfatma at 2:08 PM on March 1, 2004

It's the pressure - we can't build things strong enough to go to the ocean's deepest depths.
posted by agregoli at 2:27 PM on March 1, 2004

Why do all these deep sea fish seem scary looking? Why would it be that humans would perceive the deep sea fish as scary looking?

It's strange, really... the evolution of scary appearance on land serves a purpose in the light of day. For instance, the poisonous crotalids (rattlesnakes, pit vipers) look way scarier than a garter snake, perhaps evidence of the evolution of our own perceptual machinery.

But these deep sea fish... it's too dark to see them. I dont get it. I think I'm mixing up causalities... a little help?
posted by mert at 2:34 PM on March 1, 2004

We must kill them all.

*shivers*
posted by stevis at 2:59 PM on March 1, 2004

These are great.

I had never seen that shovel-nosed lobster before. Wiggy.

Another weird deep one is the Giant Isopod.
posted by milovoo at 3:05 PM on March 1, 2004

Why do all these deep sea fish seem scary looking?

Here's a theory: We are used to seeing rabbits, cats, deer etc, so we don't find them scary. Some familiar animals look scary to us, like spiders, but that's because they are potentially dangerous. These deep sea fish aren't dangerous, just alien.
posted by Triplanetary at 3:41 PM on March 1, 2004

It's an interesting theory, but there's another dimension, I think. There are common characteristics we find a little icky: long teeth, dark colors, slime. Many of these creatures as a function of their existence have some or all of these characteristics. They are just plain freakish, no doubt about it.
posted by jonson at 3:46 PM on March 1, 2004

I thought the isopod was kind of cute.
posted by carter at 3:53 PM on March 1, 2004

[this is good]

If you think they look scary, imagine how we look to them.
posted by dg at 4:33 PM on March 1, 2004

Judging by the look on this guy's face, I'd say we look pretty bad to them.
posted by letitrain at 4:54 PM on March 1, 2004

That blob-fish is just plain ol' freaky. It has a human nose.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:00 PM on March 1, 2004

I don't necessarily find them freaky, just intriguing. The last one just looks awesome. Where can I get a stuffed one for my little cousins?
posted by phyrewerx at 5:12 PM on March 1, 2004

I was thinking the same thing fff. Except I was focusing more on the kinda human-like eye, which seems to be looking up at the camera.
posted by Stauf at 5:17 PM on March 1, 2004

Ugly fish, all of them. Yet only a few approach the gaping, otherworldly terror of the (delicious) monkfish.
posted by mr_roboto at 5:29 PM on March 1, 2004

Another great monkfish picture. The very jaws of hell, I tell you!
posted by mr_roboto at 5:30 PM on March 1, 2004

In New England monkfish are called goosefish. I caught one once as a kid. I probably could have fit in its mouth. I was too scared to pull it out of the water so I just cut the line.
posted by TimeFactor at 5:39 PM on March 1, 2004

Excellent. Thank you jonson.
posted by tenseone at 6:36 PM on March 1, 2004

Whenever you order "chilean sea bass" at a restaurant, you're getting the decidedly non-basslike (and somewhat frightening) "Patagonian Toothfish." (Just an aside)
posted by cadastral at 6:48 PM on March 1, 2004

How is it that restaurants can tell such baldfaced lies? Isn't it illegal? Might was well serve up a slice of chicken and tell me it's a steak.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:43 PM on March 1, 2004

Chalk it up to overfishing. Weren't tilapia originally called "slime suckers" or something similarly appetizing? At least the restaurant industry hasn't heard of oreos.
posted by furiousthought at 8:03 PM on March 1, 2004

I wasn't too ooked out...and then, I got to the blobfish... *shudder* That's like something out of Dante. Too creepy.

The fishies with all the teeth and their own light show...those are just cool. No dark shadows creeping through my dreamscape cause of those little guys...but that blob thing...I don't know what sort of psychic steel wool I'll have to use to forget that...
posted by dejah420 at 8:25 PM on March 1, 2004

Hey, the David Cronenberg Museum has a tidal pool petting zoo! Ghh. I think I just traumatized myself. Great link, jonson.
posted by luminol at 8:43 PM on March 1, 2004

Monkfish is indeed delicious, as well as a steal, price-wise. Try it in a risotto. Inner beauty, indeed.

Great link!
posted by BT at 9:07 PM on March 1, 2004

I was OK til I got to the basketwork eel and squid FROM ITS STOMACH!

However, deep sea fish fascinate me.
posted by SisterHavana at 9:30 PM on March 1, 2004

some of the fish don't look quite finished. like they are an evolutionary snapshot.
posted by centrs at 9:43 PM on March 1, 2004

oh come on, malphigian! tell us about the lake.
posted by centrs at 9:45 PM on March 1, 2004

My local lake is a few hundred kilometers long and a few hundred meters deep. There is, of course, a lake monster living in it.

The divers who placed the concrete anchors for the floating bridge across the lake were rather freaked out by immense shadows swimming overhead. They were sturgeon. Very Big Sturgeon, over thirty feet long.

Some of the divers stopped diving in our lake. Can't blame them: it'd be a real bitch to be scoping out some antique bottles or somesuch, only to be sucked up by a gigantic, clueless bottom-feeder.

Chances are our lake monster is just a really big fish. Really big.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:59 PM on March 1, 2004

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
posted by subgenius at 10:39 PM on March 1, 2004

That blob-fish is just plain ol' freaky. It has a human nose.

Not many pics on the Internet, but here's a front view {crappy picture quality tho}.

Here's another {good quality, uninteresting angle} pic of "Psychrolutes marcidus".
posted by dgaicun at 11:23 PM on March 1, 2004

Come to think of it the FishBase where I got the good quality photo, also has many other interesting fish photos as well:


posted by dgaicun at 11:46 PM on March 1, 2004

I still think that this has to be the most scary fish in the world.
posted by dg at 12:06 AM on March 2, 2004

has many other interesting fish photos as well

Like this,
and this,
and this,
and this,
and this,
and this,
and this,
and this,
and this.
posted by dgaicun at 12:36 AM on March 2, 2004

If you think they look scary, imagine how we look to them.

Delicious?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:02 AM on March 2, 2004

dg, I'm with you 100%. I have a morbid dread of stepping on a stonefish, every description I have heard of it makes it sound like the most excruciating pain imaginable, not to mention the horrifying idea of drowning in four inches of water after being paralyzed.
posted by backOfYourMind at 5:17 AM on March 2, 2004

Next thing you'll be telling me you have movies of cats with human hands.

I SAW THAT. I saw it and it freaked me out.

And oh my god as an ichthophobic person this link freaks me out. And yet I was compelled to click on it. Many, many of the pictures I managed to see frightened me to an obscene degree.

I mean, I realize they're not going ot hurt me, and yet I'm still terrified and feel that I'm about to throw up. I can't say I understand it.

I nearly got halfway through. I am proud of myself.
posted by Hildegarde at 7:37 AM on March 2, 2004

bioluminescent tooth bases

Now that's what I want for xmas!
posted by spazzm at 7:53 AM on March 2, 2004

The second picture looks like H. R. Giger by way of Rob Bottin.

Orange Roughy once went by the name Slimehead (which doesn't look good on a menu).

More terrifying/weird stuff: vampire squid; siphonophore (longest of which are about 130 feet -- longer than a blue whale)
posted by kurumi at 8:19 AM on March 2, 2004

Ah. Orange roughy. That's what I was thinking of. Not tilapia. Thanks, kurumi.
posted by furiousthought at 8:51 AM on March 2, 2004

backofyourmind: heck, stonefish are a breeze compared to the Box Jellyfish. Pain from the box jellyfish is bad enough that you'll pass out unconscious... and still keep screaming.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:21 AM on March 2, 2004

The last one just looks awesome. Where can I get a stuffed one for my little cousins?
posted by phyrewerx at 8:12 PM EST on March 1

I know I'm late to the discussion, but try here . Not exactly stuffed, though.
posted by deathofme at 12:33 PM on March 2, 2004

"Pain from the box jellyfish is bad enough that you'll pass out unconscious... and still keep screaming."

You can scream while unconscious? No - really? Where can I read more about this? Not about the box jelly though - have heard all the fun horror stories about that...

And meanwhile I too will have Evil Fish Dreams now.
Thank you all...
posted by batgrlHG at 1:27 PM on March 2, 2004

"Pain from the box jellyfish is bad enough that you'll pass out unconscious... and still keep screaming."

*shivers*
posted by ginz at 1:34 PM on March 2, 2004

Dude, I CANNOT find soft stuffed animals of these kinds of deep sea creatures. I want an anglerfish, at least. Anyone?
posted by agregoli at 2:38 PM on March 2, 2004

Bill Bryson's Aussie adventure book ("mumblesomething Down Under" or something like that) describes the box jelly incident.

There was a recent incident headlining "Underwater Times" (or something like that) the other week, too.
posted by five fresh fish at 3:18 PM on March 2, 2004

I present to you the scariest fish of all:
posted by syzygy at 3:26 AM on March 3, 2004